


The Ten Keys of the Moirai

by Laurawrzz



Series: Destiny/Memento Collection [10]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Confinement, Dark Doctor (Doctor Who), F/M, Fluff, Gallifreyan Biology (Doctor Who), Gallifreyan Culture (Doctor Who), Gallifreyan History (Doctor Who), Gallifreyan Language (Doctor Who), Gen, Ghosts, Hurt/Comfort, Hypothermia, Illnesses, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Injury, Insanity, M/M, Married The Doctor/Rose Tyler, Multi, Murder, Outer Space, Parents Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Post-Episode AU: s04e13 Journey's End, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pregnancy, References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Romance, Smut, Swordfighting, Telepathy, Tenth Doctor Angst, Tenth Doctor Era, Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler Fluff, The Doctor (Doctor Who) Whump, Time Travel, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:54:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 39
Words: 132,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27327643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laurawrzz/pseuds/Laurawrzz
Summary: ‘They say that when the Universe was created, there was a Big Bang. An explosion so large that it ripped through time and space itself, giving birth to our universe. They say that in the centre of the Big Bang was something that had drifted from beyond the universe. Tiny, insignificant, but this something was sitting inside the centre of the explosion. It was ripped apart, and its ten fragments, infused with the power of the Big Bang and time itself, were scattered across the universe. No one knows where they are, or even when they are. This is the most dangerous, impossible, and extreme treasure hunt you can imagine.'‘And that’s really a key?’ Ianto asked.‘If it isn’t, it’s something that’s desperately trying to look like one.'~ ΘΣ ~While the Doctor and Rose are working for Jack’s Torchwood, a dying alien seeks him out, begging for help. Someone is finding the fabled Keys of the Moirai. The Doctor and his friends must embark on the greatest treasure hunt ever known, as the rumoured prize is to become the immortal ruler of the Universe, and who knows who's about to claim it?
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones, Jack Harkness/Other(s), Martha Jones/Mickey Smith, Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Series: Destiny/Memento Collection [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/268567
Comments: 55
Kudos: 19





	1. Welcome to Torchwood

**Author's Note:**

> And we're off again! Originally posted on FF.net over 2017/2018, now smartened up just slightly for AO3.
> 
> If you're new to this whole Destiny universe and would like to know more without reading nearly 1 million words (yes, really), go to this series' page and there's a little link there which'll take you to a document with extended summaries, as well as containing links to my gallifreyan dictionary and the Destiny universe timeline I use to try and keep my sanity on track in a world of constant time travel. Though forewarning, it obviously contains summaries for stories not yet posted on AO3 so don't scroll down too far if you don't wanna know. Any questions, please shoot :D
> 
> At the end of Insurgent, we left the TARDIS friends on an Earth struggling to recover from an apocalyptic state. They've split up into two Torchwoods - Torchwood Tate in London, and Torchwood Three in Cardiff. The Doctor and Rose, trying to live a quiet life for a while, are working for Jack as they await the arrival of their second child. The Doctor however, is infected with a time sensitive being, called a lergri, that is keeping him linked to a destructive army trying to get back into reality. He is finding himself subject to having 'future visions' that appear to be warning him, to try and keep him alive for the lergri to use. If that wasn't bad enough, due to the bond between him and Rose and the human/alien hybrid child, the Doctor is always the one that suffers the pains of pregnancy and birth.
> 
> This series is an unashamed epic TenRose continuing collection, that utilises every tiny tidbit of Who canon, both in the show and in its extended lore. It's also exceptionally whumpy and some smidgens of smut enroute. So if that isn't your thing, run awaaaay! :o

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor struggles with the symptoms of Rose's pregnancy, as an alien visits Cardiff, looking for the Doctor’s help.

_ ‘Go left.’ _

‘Left?’ Jack repeated into his communicator, the other hand holding his gun aloft as he worked his way through the sewers of Cardiff.

_ ‘Yeah, you know, that direction opposite to your right?’  _ the Doctor replied sardonically through the speaker of the device.

Jack sighed. ‘I could fire you at any minute, you know.’

_ ‘Go on, I’d love to see how you get out of the sewers without directions,’  _ the Doctor replied brazenly.

Jack sighed, defeated. ‘Okay, okay, I’m going left.’

_ ‘Third on the right after that. That’s the direction opposite to your left.’ _

‘Can you stop having a go at me?’ Jack asked seriously as he stepped through the sewer puddles, trying not to think of what his boots were currently getting covered in.

_ ‘Doctor, stop it, okay?’  _ Rose’s voice interrupted, away from the microphone. 

_ ‘What? I’m just telling the Captain his right from his left.’ _

_ ‘Go and chill out, yeah? Let me do this.’ _

_ ‘No, I wanna stay here.’ _

_ ‘You need a break.’ _

_ ‘I’m staying here.’ _

_ ‘You’re just in a bad mood, go and work on the Tardis or somethin’.’ _

_ ‘I don’t wanna work on the Tardis,’  _ he complained.  _ ‘And I’m not in a bad mood!’ _

‘Guys!’ Jack interrupted. ‘We’re doing a job here! Little more concentration, please!’

_ ‘See? You’ve distracted me from helping Jack tell his right from his left.’ _

_ ‘Doctor, go and take a break, please,’  _ Rose begged.

_ ‘I wasn’t in a bad mood till you said I was in a bad mood, actually!’ _

‘Guys!’ Jack said again. He was ignored. 

_ ‘Please, Doctor, I just want you to go and lie down. Will you do that for me? Please?’  _ Rose asked.

_ ‘I’m not tired!’ _

‘I’m pretty tired of you,’ Jack grated into the communicator. He wasn’t expecting to be listened to.

_ ‘What did you say!?’  _ the Doctor yelped.

‘Nothing,’ Jack muttered.

_ ‘Oh no, tell us again, Immortal!’  _ the Doctor snapped.  _ ‘Let us revel in your superior intellect!’ _

_ ‘Doctor, please, please. Just let me do this,’  _ Rose insisted.

_ ‘I said I’m fine! I … oh … ugh …’ _

Jack heard the sound of a chair rolling back followed by some hasty footsteps moving away from the microphone. There was a brief pause.

‘Um, hello?’ Jack tried.

_ ‘Yeah, sorry,’  _ Rose said.  _ ‘He’s throwin’ up. He’ll get over it.’ _

‘Shame,’ Jack muttered. ‘Now can you tell me where the hell I’m going?’

_ ‘Yeah, sorry, straight ahead fifty metres and you’ll see it. No signs of weevils around you.’ _

‘Okay,’ Jack said, and walked forward. ‘Has he been throwing up all morning again?’

_ ‘Pretty much,’  _ Rose replied.  _ ‘The toilet’s clogged.’ _

‘Not  _ again,’  _ Jack moaned. ‘It’s his turn to unclog, I’m fed up of plunging out his vomit.’

_ ‘You really wanna tell him that?’ _

Jack thought about that. ‘Yeah. No. I’ll unclog it,’ he conceded, and redirected his attention to the job in hand. ‘I gotta be close.’

_ ‘Yeah, should be dead in front of you, couple of metres.’ _

He looked. She was correct. There was a strange metal contraption on the ground – the piece of alien technology they’d picked up in the scan. He bent down, realising it was half-buried in a pile of something he didn’t care to name. Wincing at the smell, he put on his gloves and pulled out the alien technology.

_ ‘What is it?’  _ Rose asked.

‘Gun,’ Jack choked out through the overwhelming smell he’d just released.

_ ‘What kinda gun?’ _

‘A gunny kinda gun,’ Jack replied concisely.

_ ‘Alright, sorry for askin’.’ _

‘Sorry,’ Jack said sincerely. ‘He’s put me in a bad mood.’

_ ‘It’s not his fault,’  _ she told him.  _ ‘He’s just got really bad mornin’ sickness with this baby.’ _

‘Aren’t there any medicines?’

_ ‘No.’ _

'He  _ is  _ all right, isn't he? If he's vomiting this much that's not good.’

_ 'He said it's fine.’ _

Jack sighed, faintly recalling the time when he didn’t discuss the vomiting habits of his best friend on Torchwood missions. ‘He seriously should have come with me for this. He’s copping out.’

_ ‘The smell would’ve only made him throw up more,’  _ she pointed out.

Jack briefly looked around the sewer. ‘Honest to god, it wouldn’t make much difference in here.’

_ ‘Besides, he wouldn’t ruin his converse for anyone.’ _

Jack conceded she had a point. ‘All right. I’m heading back out.’

_ ‘Rose?’  _ the Doctor’s voice asked.

_ ‘Yeah?’ _

_ ‘Sorry.’ _

_ ‘That’s okay. I know you didn't mean it.’ _

_ ‘I love you.’ _

_ ‘I love you too.’ _

_ ‘Please don’t hate me,’  _ he wailed in a high-pitched voice. Jack sighed. His mood had flipped again.

_ ‘Oh, don’t cry, it’s okay, honest, I don’t hate you.’ _

_ ‘I’m sorry, Jack!’  _ the Doctor squeaked through the speaker.

‘Doctor, you’re fine,’ Jack said. ‘You've had a tough morning.’

_ 'It's n-not that,’  _ the Doctor sobbed.

'What is it?’ Jack asked, only half-listening as he winced at a misjudged puddle that went above his ankle.

_ 'I didn't tell you about the bomb!’ _

Jack stopped. ‘... Wait, what?’

_ ‘You're gonna get blown up and it's all my fault!’ _

'What!?’

_ ‘Doctor, what bomb, where?’  _ Rose asked quickly.

_ ‘He’s only got five seconds and it's my fault!’ _

‘What bomb!?’ Jack shrieked.

_ ‘Doctor, where's the bomb!?’ _

_ ‘In the gun …’ _

‘Jesus!’ Jack cried, and threw the gun back in the direction he'd come. He squidged frantically through the sewer, but didn't reach the corner fast enough. He heard a muffled beep, and half a second later, it detonated in a fountain of muck. Jack yelped, shielding himself as a cascade of unmentionable fluid and solids rained down onto him.

_ 'Jack! Jack!’  _ Rose cried through the communicator. Jack gasped for a moment, stock-still, before registering he'd dropped the communicator. He fumbled around in the muck, dropping it a few times before managing to get a grasp.

'I'm here, I'm fine,’ Jack said. 'Doctor, when the hell did you find that out?’ 

_ 'Ten minutes a-ago,’ _ he sobbed.

'You didn't think to mention it!?’

_ ‘It doesn't matter, everyone's okay,’  _ Rose interrupted.  _ ‘Besides, he can’t hear you, he’s gone to throw up again.’ _

Jack sighed, wiping at his face with his sleeve. It only made things worse. ‘God, I need Gwen back from holiday,’ he muttered, and began to squidge back to Torchwood.

* * *

When Jack finally got out of the shower, he found the Doctor in the rest area. The Time Lord was lying on the sofa in heap, with his eyes closed.

‘Doctor?’ Jack asked, a little nervous. Nervous, because the Doctor wasn’t prone to sleeping in the middle of the day and there could be something wrong with him, but also, if he  _ was  _ asleep, Jack was about to piss off him and his hormones by waking him up.

The Doctor snapped open his eyes immediately, and looked at Jack. ‘Hello,’ he said, and looked at Jack’s fingernails. ‘You missed a bit.’

Jack looked at his fingernails. There was something dark and squidgy under his forefinger. His vanity tried to take him over, but he tried to push it away as he shoved his hand behind his back.

‘I’d get up and make room for you, but feeling kind of dizzy,’ the Doctor confessed, closing his eyes again.

Jack perched himself on the table. ‘How’s the vomiting?’

‘Don’t mention it, you might catch its attention and bring it back,’ the Doctor moaned, raising a hand to his head.

‘This is insane, you weren’t this bad with Leah. You gotta do  _ something. _ You sure you’ve got no medicine?’

‘All I’ve got is the medication to stop the fever.’

‘Have you been to see your brother? He’ll have read some book on it by now.’

‘I thought about that, but then I decided that was a bad idea.’

‘Why?’

‘Because I'm not quite sure about the practicalities of vomit in a transmat.’

‘I’ll go, then.’

‘Don’t need to. Leah’s gone.’

‘Oh. Where’s Ianto, by the way?’

'Dunno. Do my pecs seem bigger to you?'

'What?' Jack asked, wrongfooted.

The Doctor reached down and cupped his pecs. 'They're getting bigger aren't they? I mean, beyond normal male size?'

'Are you seriously asking me that?'

'Yes. Well, are they?'

'Definitely not. I  _ really  _ don’t think it works like that, Doc.’

The Doctor groaned. 'I think they are. I'm going to end up needing a bra.'

Jack snorted with laughter.

The Doctor grinned. ‘Sorry about earlier. The whole screaming at you thing. Then the bomb thing. Then the crying thing.’

‘No problem. Rose is pregnant, and you’re feeling it. Can’t blame you. How did you know the gun was gonna blow anyway?’

‘Recognised the mechanical structure in the deep scan I did,’ the Doctor replied, closing his eyes again. ‘One of the Zeena guns that the Herganites use.’

‘The pirates from Hergan 3?’ Jack recalled. ‘What the hell is a Herganite gun doing here? They’re way too far from Earth to bother coming near it.’

The Doctor shrugged. ‘Rift? Anyway, your touch contravened the isomorphic response and set off the safeties. Boom.’

‘Right,’ Jack said, just as Rose appeared, carrying a cup of something.

‘I got you somethin’ Mum said might help with the nausea,’ Rose told the Doctor.

The Doctor looked as though she’d just casually told him that she'd slaughtered his puppy. ‘You ... told your mum?’

‘Well, yeah,’ she said, handing him the cup. ‘She said she had peppermint tea when she was pregnant to stop the sickness. I mean, she told me that  _ after  _ she stopped laughin’.’

The Doctor groaned again. With the cup in hand, he leant back, closed his eyes, and threw the contents of it over his face in one fell swoop. There was a brief pause as Jack and Rose stared at him. He hadn’t even flinched.

‘Yeah, um, I think you were meant to drink it,’ Rose told him as the boiling hot water dripped off of his chin.

‘I like it better this way,’ the Doctor replied, before his eyes suddenly shot open and he was up again, dashing to the TARDIS to get to the nearest toilet. 

‘I’m getting kinda worried about him,’ Jack confessed as he disappeared.

‘Me too,’ Rose admitted, easing herself down onto the sofa. ‘This is way worse than Leah was for him. He threw up a few times, but this is mental.’

Jack nodded. ‘He’s gonna end up tearing his oesophagus or something if he keeps this up,’ he said, just as the transmat activated and Leah appeared.

‘Uncle Jack!’ Leah said happily, bounding up to hug his middle, before taking a purposeful sniff. ‘You don’t smell.’

‘What?’ Jack asked.

‘Daddy said you were covered in poop, and you stank, and that it was funny.’ She looked around purposefully. ‘Where’s Daddy?’

‘Did you get him some medicine from Uncle Brax?’ Rose asked.

‘Yeah,’ Leah replied, showing her a needle gun, filled up with clear liquid. ‘Where is he?’

‘Oh, go wait outside our bedroom, he’ll appear, err ... eventually.’

‘Okay!’ the little girl said, and skipped into the TARDIS.

* * *

The Doctor washed away the last of his vomit in the sink. He felt terrible. He checked the time, and realised he’d been throwing up on and off for roughly two hours. Hopefully that meant it was going to stop soon.

He checked himself in the mirror, straightening up his tie and sorting out his hair, before stepping out of the door. He almost tripped over his daughter, who was standing there holding up a filled needle gun.

‘You got it?’ the Doctor asked his daughter, overjoyed.

‘Yeah!’ the five-year-old said, handing him the needle gun. The Doctor immediately took a seat on the bed, pulled down his shirt, and placed the nozzle on his arm, before pulling the trigger. The tube gave him a few milliliters dosage. He half considered doing a bit more, but decided he’d trust his brother’s calculated dosage for once, and threw the needle gun onto his pillow.

‘Thanks,’ he said, pulling his shirt back up. ‘What did he say it would do?’

‘He said it might stop some of the symptoms.’

_ ‘Might?’ _ the Doctor echoed, groaning and falling back on the bed. Leah jumped up next to him, hugging him.

‘Don’t worry, cos at the end we’ll have a little baby, mmkay?’ Leah told him informatively. ‘And I can boss him around and stuff.’

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. ‘Oh, um, no, you can’t do that.’

‘I can’t boss him around?’

‘No.’

‘Why not?’ the little girl wanted to know.

‘Because, um, well, that’s not nice.’

‘But on TV all the bigger brothers and sisters boss around their little brothers and sisters.’

‘They do?’

‘Yeah. Didn’t Uncle Brax boss around you?’

The Doctor smirked. ‘On my fifty-fifth birthday, your Uncle Brax told me that I couldn’t become a Time Lord unless I crossed this old bridge across the Cadenflood river. The bridge broke when I was crossing it, and I got swept away. I was dragged a hundred miles downriver before Uncle Brax finally fished me out with a tether gun that just missed my left heart and dislocated my shoulder.’

‘That’s pretty bossy.’

‘Yeah, nearly killing your little brother  _ is  _ bossy,’ the Doctor agreed. ‘He makes a point of not mentioning water on my birthday.’

‘Then how come I can’t boss around Theo?’ Leah asked.

‘Because having been the little brother, the little brother doesn’t find nearly drowning very nice,’ he replied.

‘So? It’ll toughen him up!’ Leah informed him. ‘He’s gotta learn to stand on his own two feet!’

‘Leah, he won't actually be standing on his own two feet for a few months yet,’ the Doctor pointed out.

‘Oh yeah,’ Leah realised. ‘He'll be all floppy baby.’

‘Yes. Floppy baby.’

‘Why are babies so floppy and useless?’ she wondered.

‘It’s part of their evil plan to make you think they rely on you, so when they’re not floppy and useless, you’re too used to protecting them for you to tell them to stop asking pointless questions,’ the Doctor murmured, closing his eyes.

‘But when he's not a floppy baby can I boss him around then?’ she asked, ignorant of his previous sentence.

The Doctor opened his eyes again. ‘Why do you want to boss him around so much?’

‘Young people are too used to being doted upon. It's a cause of the progressive destruction of future society,’ Leah stated like a newsreader.

The Doctor frowned, looking at her. ‘... Have you been reading the Daily Mail again?’

'I gotta make him tough cos he's gonna need it,’ she said, ignoring him.

‘Well, I’ll let you take responsibility for that,’ the Doctor said, closing his eyes again. ‘Go plan how you’re going to make him tough.’

‘Okay!’ Leah chimed, jumping off of the bed and running out of the door.

The Doctor thought briefly about what he’d just said for a moment, and then his eyes shot open and he sat up, alarmed. ‘Don’t start trying to find a river!’ he yelled, but she was already gone.

* * *

Ianto had traced the location of another alien artefact just after lunch. Jack and Rose attempted to retrieve the Doctor, but he appeared to be sleeping for the first time in a while, so they didn’t bother him. It was probably for the best anyway. The Doctor was still a little bruised from the invasion and he'd attract attention, which wasn't the best idea for a man the human race thought was dead. Instead, Rose had asked if she could go with Jack.

Jack had been quite hesitant to take a five-month-pregnant woman with him on a mission, but conceded it was only a short drive away. Besides, Rose was clearly itching to get out of Torchwood. So they took the new SUV and drove twenty minutes to an expanse of fields to the east of Cardiff Bay. They parked up, and checked the scanner.

‘North,’ Jack said, pointing. ‘Okay?’

‘Yeah, just go slow,’ she advised him, hand on her bump.

Jack nodded, taking her arm and guiding her over the grassy, hilly terrain. They walked for about two hundred metres, before they came to the artefact lying on the grass. It stuck out like a sore thumb. Jack leant down, scooping it up. It was a strange disc of some kind, with some buttons on the edge, glowing. It most definitely wasn’t human. It wasn’t at all dirtied either – clearly it had been placed there recently.

‘Ianto?’ he asked into his communicator.

_ ‘Yes?’  _ Ianto replied.

‘Get the Doctor, it's an emergency.’

_ ‘Okay,’  _ Ianto said, and moved away.

‘What is it?’ Rose asked.

‘I think it’s some kind of homing beacon,’ Jack replied, scanning it to send the analysis back to Torchwood. ‘Gotta get the Doc in on this. I’m worried.’

‘Why are you worried?’

‘The gun we found earlier was Hergan tech. If this is another piece of Hergan tech, then we might have some kind of invasion on our hands. This thing’s only just been placed here, it might be summoning the fighters.’

_ ‘Got him,’  _ Ianto said.

‘Doctor?’ Jack asked.

_ ‘Yeah?’  _ his sleepy voice asked.

‘We found another artefact, looks like some kinda beacon to me. This isn't more Hergan pirate tech, is it?’

There was a brief pause as the Doctor clearly mused on the scan readout.  _ ‘... Nah. It's Tryzion.’ _

‘Who are they?’

_ ‘Bunch of religious people.’ _

‘So nothing to do with the Hergan pirates?’

_ ‘No.’ _

‘Okay, thanks.’

_ ‘Anything else?’ _

'Nah, that's it. Go back to bed.’

There was a pause. _ ‘... You woke me up for that?’ _

‘I just wanted to be sure that it wasn’t …’

_ ‘You said it was an emergency.’ _

‘I needed to check that it wasn’t some kinda invasion.’

_ ‘Oh, that’s fine,’  _ the Doctor said casually.  _ ‘Next time you feel an emergency coming on, just finish your cup of tea, do a crossword, have a nap, nip to Tesco, then casually saunter to me and then scream the word “emergency” in my ear.’ _

There was a thunk as the Doctor clearly dropped the microphone and left.

‘I seriously need to fire him,’ Jack mused.

‘Can’t do that, that’s sexism,’ Rose pointed out as they began to walk back to the SUV, Ianto apologising down the line.

‘How’s that sexism?’

‘Firing him cos he’s pregnant?’

_ ‘You’re  _ the one that’s pregnant. I’d be firing him cos he’s an asshole.’

She giggled.

‘Didn’t hear you defending me,’ Jack noted.

‘If he knew I was on a field mission he’d kill you,’ she said.

‘Why is it always my fault?’ Jack moaned, and suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. 

Rose stumbled to a halt next to him. ‘What?’

‘Did you hear that?’ he asked, looking around the apparently deserted field.

‘No …?’

‘Sounded like … Never mind,’ Jack muttered, and carried on walking. Suddenly there was an electronic  _ screech  _ that nearly burst their eardrums from inches above their heads, caused something to explode ahead of them, sending them both toppling to the grass in pain and surprise.

‘What the heck was that!?’ Rose gasped, holding her belly and panting.

‘Are you okay?’ Jack asked quickly.

‘Yeah,’ she said, pushing herself up and looking around. She stilled as her eyes fixed on a point behind them, her eyes wide, her jaw dropping. ‘Oh my god.’

Jack followed her gaze.

‘Help me! Please!’ a female alien screamed at them, running at quite a pace. She had a good reason. Around thirty metres behind her there were roughly fifty aliens in pursuit, all holding guns, all screaming. Another  _ screech  _ whipped them by, as they realised it was laserfire.

‘Stop, in the name of the Holy One!’ one of the mob screamed across the field.

Jack jumped to his feet, grabbing Rose’s arm to pull her up. ‘Run!’ he ordered her, pointing in the direction of the SUV. As Rose left, Jack ran to the alien. She was grey-skinned, with big black eyes, wearing a luxurious red cloak, and right now she looked pained and terrified.

No time for pleasantries, he grabbed her arm and started dragging her back towards the SUV. But she was staggering; struggling. He forced her to speed up, so much so that they caught Rose up, who was now near the gate, panting. Jack checked over his shoulder as they neared – the mob had gained on them.

‘Get through!’ Jack yelled at them both, pulling out his gun and taking a defensive stance. Rose took the alien’s hand and pulled her through the gate. Jack kept a steady backwards pace, his gun aloft, checking Rose and the alien constantly as the mob gained even more ground. More shots were fired, but they weren’t aiming for him – they were still aiming for the running alien. 

He checked. Rose and the alien were inside the SUV. He turned and bolted after them, throwing himself inside and hitting the emergency start. The SUV burst into life, and he slammed his foot down on the accelerator, nearly running over half of the mob as they spilled out of the gate. They fired more shots, but those that didn’t miss bounced harmlessly off of the metal. Jack recalled the Doctor saying he’d done something to the SUV a few days ago when he’d been bored. He’d have to kiss him when they got back.

Jack upped the speed of the SUV, checking his mirrors. He couldn’t see the pursuing aliens anymore, but he wasn’t about to feel complacent. He kept going at breakneck speed, all the way until the first main road, where he finally had to slow down. He checked his mirrors again, but he couldn’t see them.

‘Think we lost ‘em,’ Jack said. ‘Is she okay?’

‘Jack, she’s been shot,’ Rose told him, cradling the alien on the backseat. He looked back, and saw a very clear, quite large bloodless hole from laserfire, straight through her chest. She was gasping and crying with pain.

‘Speeding up!’ Jack shouted.

‘Hold on, you’re gonna be okay,’ Rose told the alien gently. ‘We've got people who can help. I'm Rose. What's your name?’

'Karani,’ the alien gasped.

‘Just hold on, cos you're gonna be fine, I promise.’

Jack activated the link to Torchwood. ‘Yan, get the Doctor! This is an emergency!’

There was a brief pause.  _ ‘Are you serious?’  _ Ianto asked, sounding bewildered.

‘Yes, I'm serious!’

_ ‘He’ll kill me.’ _

‘Tell him if he doesn't get here right now I'm gonna tell my mum every embarassin’ story I've got of him!’ Rose yelled.

'Got that, Yan?’ Jack asked.

_ 'Loud and clear!’ _

'Hang on, Karani,’ Rose urged, bracing herself on the door as Jack took a corner at speed.

‘No …’ Karani said through gasps.

‘No, don't move,’ Rose urged.

‘But … you know … the Doctor?’

‘Yeah, we do, he’s gonna help you …’

The resultant look on Karani’s face was like nothing Rose had ever seen before; as though thousands of years of torment were suddenly lifted within a second. She smiled a genuine, broad, beautiful smile filled with relief, and reached with a shaky hand into her cloak. She brought out a strange, fist-sized sphere that was shining with bright blue light. She held it to Rose, tears filling up her eyes.

‘I came to … to find him. Please,’ she whispered, ‘please ... make sure he ... gets this.’

She pressed the sphere into Rose’s palm. Immediately something inside Rose’s belly seemed to tingle, or convulse. It felt like Theo was responding to it, but not in a bad way. She rested his hand on her bump. He kicked.

‘I will,’ Rose whispered, barely able to find her voice, her eyes fixed to the sphere. It was beautiful.

Karani smiled, and her eyelids fluttered closed. Rose gasped, broken out of her trance as Karani sagged. 

'No, no, no!’ Rose cried, frantically checking for a heart beat in all the most likely places. She found nothing.

‘Rose?’ Jack yelled back.

‘Her heart’s stopped!’

_ ‘Rose, what the hell are you doing on a field mi–’ _

‘Shut up!’ Rose yelled at the radio. ‘I can’t find her heartbeat!’

_ ‘What!?’ _

‘Doctor, we found an alien, she was being chased, she’s been shot,’ Jack said quickly, ‘I’ll be there in ten minutes!’

‘Where’s her heart gonna be!?’ Rose cried desperately.

_ ‘What does she look like?’ _

‘Um, grey skin, big black eyes …’

_ ‘How many arms?’ _

‘Two!’

_ ‘Does she have lines in her head?’ _

Rose checked, pulling back the hood of the cloak. There were three very precise lines, like bloodless cuts, running from Karani’s forehead, over the top of her head to her neck.

‘Yeah, three!’

_ ‘Heart’s in the belly.’ _

Rose quickly checked the area. ‘I can’t feel anythin’! What do I do!?’

_ ‘Stay calm, it’s okay, the heart can be hard to find on a Vergan Custodian. Check the palm. There’ll be a white spot if her heart’s still going.’ _

Rose checked, terrified. Almost hesitantly, she lifted Karani’s palm and looked. There in the centre of the palm was a faint, white spot.

‘Yeah, yeah it’s here, but it’s faint!’

‘ _ Keep her warm, I’ll prep the medical room,’  _ he said, and running footsteps signalled his departure.

‘Hold on, please,’ Rose begged Karani as Jack sped onwards.


	2. The Ten Keys of the Moirai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor explains what the Moirai is.

Rose hadn’t been sure when Karani had died, but by the time they reached Torchwood and got her to the medical room, the white spot on her palm to indicate her heart was beating had disappeared. Despite the Doctor and Jack’s best efforts, there was nothing they could do. 

‘I’m sorry,’ the Doctor said to her sincerely, before looking at Jack and Rose. ‘What was her name?’

‘Karani,’ Rose replied, almost in tears.

He raised his bandaged hand and made a gesture over Karani. ‘May this guardian be granted swift bliss to Bakhallah,’ he said.

‘What?’ Rose asked.

‘Vergan custom of death,’ the Doctor replied, closing Karani’s eyes and arranging her limbs carefully and respectfully. ‘Who did this?’

‘Tryzions, I think,’ Jack replied. ‘There were about fifty people chasing her, screaming stuff about a god.’

‘Sounds like them,’ the Doctor mused, scratching the back of his head. ‘Why were they chasing a Vergan Custodian, though?’

‘What’s a Vergan Custodian?’ Ianto wondered.

‘An attendant of the biggest collection of safety deposit boxes in the universe. There’s a planet devoted to security of personal possessions, and she’s part of the race that runs it. Trained from birth to protect the vaults,’ the Doctor explained. ‘The custodians never leave Verga, though.’

‘She was looking for you,’ Rose said quietly.

‘Me?’ the Doctor asked. ‘Why?’

‘She wanted to give you this,’ she said, and pulled the glowing blue sphere out of her pocket. Again, Theo reacted, and so did the Doctor. He staggered slightly, then winced a little and rubbed his head, whilst looking completely astonished at the same time.

‘You okay?’ Jack asked.

Without replying, the Doctor took the sphere and held it up, peering at it for quite a while before he finally looked at them all. ‘This,’ he began, ‘might explain why we’ve suddenly got pirates and religious cults in Cardiff.’

‘What is it?’ Rose asked.

‘The golden prize. The jackpot. A fragment of most sought-after treasure in the entire universe. This – might be – a key of the Moirai.’

Jack’s jaw dropped. ‘Are you kidding?’

_ ‘ _ It  _ might  _ be,’ the Doctor stressed. 

‘But that’s impossible.’

‘Nothing’s impossible,’ the Doctor muttered, gazing at the sphere.

‘Someone gonna tell us what that is?’ Rose wondered, gesturing at herself and Ianto, who was frowning.

The Doctor paused momentarily, glancing at Jack, before regarding her and Ianto. He then gestured with his head to the rest area. ‘Might want to sit down for this one.’

* * *

‘They say that when the Universe was created, there was a Big Bang. An explosion so large that it ripped through time and space itself, giving birth to our universe. They say that in the centre of the Big Bang was something that had drifted from beyond the universe. Tiny, insignificant, but this something was sitting inside the centre of the explosion. It was ripped apart, and its ten fragments, infused with the power of the Big Bang and time itself, were scattered across the universe. No one knows where they are, or even  _ when  _ they are. This is the most dangerous, impossible, and extreme treasure hunt you can imagine.

‘People have devoted their lives to finding the Moirai, but no one has ever found any pieces of it. Many believe it's completely made up; a gimmick for tourists to visit places that claimed to have fragments. But people will keep looking, because each fragment, they say, is a key to the next fragment, and the final fragment is the key to ultimate power. Some say that If this ultimate power is accessed there will be a cataclysm, and its owner will become the immortal and eternal ruler of the Universe.’

Rose and Ianto stared at him in complete disbelief, as Jack just gazed at the glowing blue sphere on the table.

‘Is it true?’ Rose asked, breathless.

‘The Time Lords certainly thought it was true, for while, at least,’ the Doctor said. ‘They had a special branch of the Celestial Intervention Agency on permanent rotation to try and find the fragments. Eventually they gave up, and declared the Moirai to be a story. But some never stopped looking. Like I said, people have devoted their lives to trying to find the keys of the Moirai.  _ All  _ of their lives. All thirteen.’

‘And that’s really a key?’ Ianto asked.

‘If it isn’t, it’s something that’s desperately trying to look like one,’ the Doctor said. 'Whatever this thing is, Moirai or not, it’s time sensitive, and Karani knew that.’ He rubbed his head again. ‘The vibes I’m getting off of this thing are like nothing I’ve felt before.’

‘That's why Theo reacted,’ Rose realised.

‘What?’ the Doctor asked.

‘When I held the sphere for the first time, it was like … it was like Theo did a flip inside me or somethin’,’ Rose said.

The Doctor nodded. ‘This artefact, whether it’s a key of the Moirai or not, the amount of energy it emits is like grabbing hold of a time sensitive creature and shaking them. Theo would’ve felt that. Hmm.’

He thought for a moment longer. Then, slowly, methodically, he reached to his left hand, still covered by the bandage to keep his scar protected. He unwrapped it, exposing the blue vein as the mark of lergri that lingered inside him on his palm.

‘What are you doin’?’ Rose asked anxiously.

‘Either something very clever or something very dumb,’ he said. He held up his palm to the sphere. The scar glowed briefly, with a pulsating blue.

‘What’s happening?’ Jack asked.

‘A connection,’ the Doctor muttered, his mind racing. ‘The lergri are attuned to time, and so is this sphere. So if you put the two together …’

He reached forward to pick up the sphere.

‘No, don’t!’ Rose cried, but the Doctor’s hand had already clamped down on it. He suddenly screamed as the bullet-train-in-the-head feeling hit him, and he abruptly lost consciousness.

* * *

_ The Doctor was standing in black and white, walking through undergrowth filled with brambles and nettles. Above him was an ominous structure that felt cold and hard, but it was too dark to see. People were screaming around him, babies crying. A body was hanging by a noose around its neck, dressed in Victorian clothes, swinging slowly back and forth in the bitingly cold wind. _

_ 'Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name …’ a child's voice whispered. _

_ The Doctor shuddered, as suddenly he could feel the lives of hundreds of people, coursing through him, and could hear all their voices speaking together: _

_ 'Please don't hurt me!’ _

_ 'Take care of yourself.’ _

_ 'SHIT! FUCK!’ _

_ 'Amy, is Amy okay?’ _

_ 'Fuck you!’ _

_ 'Why is that guy driving through a red light?’ _

_ 'Oh my god, I'm gonna die.’ _

_ 'Please kill me, please, it hurts so much …’ _

_ 'You’ve got it all wrong, I didn't hurt him!’ _

_ 'Let her go!’ _

_ 'Thank you.’ _

_ The last voice he recognised. But he didn't have time to think about that. _

_ ‘Where a hundred people reside but no one lives, the nameless girl went to play ...’ his own voice said. ‘... Now she plays without a head. They will find her name one day.’ _

_ A little girl laughed, eerie and distant. The Doctor looked up, and saw a girl in a white dress running away from him. _

_ Instinctively he pursued her, picking his way through the undergrowth until he reached a tomb. The girl disappeared through the stone entrance. He took another step. _

_ The girl screamed. The door of the tomb shattered as a tidal wave of blood burst out, heading straight towards him … _

* * *

The Doctor woke up, pain searing through his head. He cried out, curling up for a moment before he registered voices near him, and he opened his eyes to see Jack, Rose, Ianto and Brax, looking anxious.

‘Doctor?’ Rose asked, cupping his face.

‘Ahdohdadadee,’ was all he managed to get out.

‘He’s slurring again,’ Brax said, placing his fingers on the Doctor's temple to communicate telepathically.  _ 'Thete, still with us?’ _

_ ‘Yes,’  _ the Doctor telepathically replied.

‘He's okay,’ Brax announced to the others. ‘Okay, just get him somewhere comfortable. Thete, you’ve had a vision.’

‘Ehdooahnoda,’ the Doctor replied. Jack lifted him up, carrying him to the medbay.

* * *

In the time it took for his speech to return, Rose told him how he'd taken hold of the sphere, collapsed, and started to have a vision. Only this time, his eyes had turned blue, as though the sphere’s light was inside him. 

Once his speech came back, he explained to them all what the vision had been. Everyone had looked slightly terrified.

He finished explaining with, 'I heard my own voice saying, “where a hundred people reside but no one lives, the nameless girl went to play. Now …”’

‘... She plays without a head. They will find her name one day,’ Brax completed. ‘You were mouthing it when you had the vision.’

‘Sounds like a riddle,’ Ianto mused. 

‘That must be a clue to where the next key is,’ Jack said, a little eagerly. ‘Somewhere where a hundred people reside but no one lives. Where’s that?’

‘I  _ know  _ where that is,’ the Doctor confessed.

‘Where?’ Rose asked.

‘I knew one of the people in the vision. I couldn’t see him, but I knew he was there. He spoke. It was my metacrisis.’

Rose’s eyes widened. ‘But he died,’ she said, confused. ‘Doctor, he died. We buried him years ago.’

‘I know,’ the Doctor said. ‘But he was there. I heard his voice and I felt the thread of his life. And that’s the answer to the riddle. Where a hundred people reside but no one lives. It’s a graveyard. And more than that, it’s the graveyard we buried my metacrisis in.’

Everyone silenced, staring at each other.

‘... What about the second half? The nameless girl?’ Ianto wondered in the silence.

‘That’s probably the clue to where in the graveyard the key is,’ the Doctor replied. ‘Maybe a tombstone without a name on it.’

‘So what do we do now?’ Jack asked, staring at the blue sphere.

There was a pause as the Doctor contemplated this. ‘... Nothing,’ he decided eventually. ‘Is there somewhere safe to put this?’ he directed at Jack, indicating the sphere.

‘Why not the Tardis?’ Jack wondered.

‘Something this powerful can’t go in a time machine. That’s like sticking a knife in a toaster,’ the Doctor replied. ‘We need somewhere safe, secure, and undetectable.’

‘Don't know this rebuilt place so well,’ Jack admitted. 

‘In the vaults,’ Ianto said. ‘Unit put another level under the shooting range.’

‘We'll do that then,’ the Doctor said.

‘But aren’t we going to do anything with it?’ Ianto asked.

‘What do you suggest?’ the Doctor wondered.

‘You said each fragment leads to the next,’ Ianto said. ‘We’ve got pirates and religious cults in Cardiff looking for this. If it’s like you said, and everyone’s hunting it, other people won’t be far behind.’

‘He’s got a point,’ Jack said. ‘Once word gets out Cardiff’s gonna be swarmed.’

‘Let them look around and find nothing,’ the Doctor said. ‘We just deny all knowledge, and eventually they’ll give up and go onto the next hot tip. If we start looking for the next one we're going to attract attention. Anyway, if this really is the Moirai, the last thing I want to do is put it together.’

‘It‘s not the Moirai,’ Brax stated. ‘The Moirai doesn’t exist. It’s ridiculous.’

‘Maybe,’ the Doctor murmured, taking the sphere back from his brother’s hand and gazing at it. He winced again, rubbing his head ‘But whatever it is, Karani died to get it to me. I'm not going to take it lightly.’

Everyone nodded. Jack stood up, reaching out to take the fragment. 

The Doctor quickly held it away. ‘Oh, I, um, wouldn’t do that,’ he said.

‘What?’

‘Because this is a hugely powerful centre of potential energy, and you’re the complete opposite of that, being immortal. It’ll probably kill you if you touch it. Maybe permanently, I don't know.’

‘Oh,’ Jack muttered.

‘Just show me where to put it, and everyone else try to forget it,’ he told them all. ‘This is need-to-know only. Not even the other Torchwood. The less they know the better.’ 

Everyone nodded in sync.

* * *

They all followed Ianto to the new vaults. They went through an access door, past the cells, down to the shooting range, through a tunnel, beyond some security, down more steps to a polished, brand new, hidden-away room full of drawers and vault doors. It was so hidden away, that when they entered, it was quite surprising to find Leah and Kiana sitting on the floor playing.

‘Hi,’ Leah said happily.

‘Um, how did you find this room?’ Ianto asked, bewildered.

‘Though the door,’ Leah replied informatively.

‘That would make sense,’ the Doctor supposed, and continued to a vault at the end of the room. Ianto punched in a code, and the round metal door hissed, opening.

As the Doctor pulled the sphere out of his pocket, Leah and Kiana were immediately by his side. 

‘What’s that?’ Kiana asked.

‘Don't worry about it,’ he told her. 

‘But what is it? It feels weird.,’ Leah complained.

The Doctor knew he wasn't getting out of this. ‘I'll explain later, just let me do this first.’ 

‘But …’ 

'Leah,’ Rose interrupted. 'Let Dad do this.’

Leah sighed loudly, folding her arms. The Doctor gently placed the sphere inside the vault, and backed away as Ianto sealed it up. It clicked loudly, hissed, and locked into place.

‘No one knows it’s here,’ the Doctor reiterated to them all. ’You don’t even know what the Moirai is. Okay?’

They all affirmed.


	3. In the Dead of Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor’s emotions continue their tumult, before a tiny mistake leads to a massive problem.

Much to everyone’s relief, four weeks later, the Doctor had stopped throwing up and his mood had drastically improved. He was bouncing around Torchwood like a hyperactive kitten, greeting everyone with a friendly wave and a charismatic smile. He’d also become very restless. Even when Jack was being sincere by delivering a briefing, Rose would watch the Doctor as he’d sit there trying to be serious, before his foot started tapping, he started bobbing his head, and eventually ended up in a full-blown dance in his chair. Everyone had learnt to ignore him, mostly because despite dancing, he was still listening, and had some very important contributions to make to the discussion.

‘So the Rift seems to be more volatile than usual,’ Jack had said once. ‘Doc? Thoughts?’

‘It’s the ten year phase,’ the Doctor had replied, his body jolting to some imaginary beat. ‘It’s like Earth’s natural temperature fluctuation, rift sensitivity just goes up and down over a ten year cycle.’

‘How come we haven’t noticed it before?’ Jack had wondered.

‘You probably weren’t monitoring it properly,’ the Doctor had replied, grooving with his arms. Everyone had tried not to stare at him as through the rest of the discussion he’d just been bobbing up and down, swinging his arms and occasionally kicking out, all to his imaginary beat. When the briefing had finished, he simply yelled a general good bye, and sideways shuffled out of the door. Later that evening, Rose had found the Doctor and their daughter in the TARDIS console room with the soundtrack of The Jungle Book full-blast, dancing in a procession around the console. After that point, Rose had just given up trying to be serious, and had joined in. 

Otherwise, things had been fairly normal, and nobody had even mentioned the Moirai. After the Doctor had done Rose’s twenty-two week scan, he’d declared all was fine. He wanted to resume the dancing procession, but realised everyone else was utterly spent, so had conceded it was time to go to bed. 

* * *

‘... Then we went upstairs, and Tommy's gran was there, and she didn't have a face.’

‘Why didn't she have a face?’ Leah wanted to know, sitting in bed with her dad perched on the side.

‘Well that's what I was wondering,’ the Doctor said. ‘Before we could do anything, these beefy policemen came up the stairs and one punched me in the face.’

‘Ow,’ Leah said. 

‘Yeah,’ the Doctor agreed. 'I got knocked out, and next thing I know I'm lying on the floor and your mum's trying to bring me around. I realised they'd taken Tommy's gran so I bolted downstairs to the scooter. Your mum stayed inside the house for a reason I wouldn’t know for a while, I yelled for her, but she didn't appear, so I set off without her.’

'No, don't split up!’ Leah wailed.

'Hey, we would've lost them, if I didn't leave her, she was taking too long,’ Doctor protested. 'So I followed the car, and eventually got into their headquarters. I found a load of faceless people in this cage. But then I got caught.’

‘You know, you get caught in all your stories.’

‘If I didn’t get caught it would be a very boring story,’ the Doctor pointed out. 'So anyway, I found out this was something that had been happening all over London, and they were just hiding them because of the coronation. They brought a new faceless person in for me to look at. It was your mum.’

'Told you not to split up,’ Leah moaned. 

'Exactly. She was just standing there, not moving, with no face. I was so angry that someone had done that to her.’

'So you got all crazy?’

‘Oh, yes.’

‘What did you do?’

‘... End of part one.’

‘What?’

‘To be continued. Time to go to sleep.’

'No, I wanna find out how you saved everyone,’ Leah complained. 

‘Why do you assume I saved everyone?’ the Doctor asked.

'Cos you always do,’ Leah replied.

He half-smiled at the amount of faith she had in him. 'Not all the time,’ he said. ‘Now go to sleep.’

‘But …’

‘Close your eyes,’ he ordered as he reached up to draw down her eyelids with his fingers, ‘and think about sheep.’

Leah giggled. ‘Daddy,’ she said, reaching up to grab his hand.

'Four legs, white and fluffy …’ he continued. 

'Baa,’ Leah said.

'Baa,’ he agreed, tucking her in and kissing her forehead. 'Good night, see you in the morning.’

‘Good night, Daddy,’ she said. 'Love you.’

'Love you too.’ He placed Floppy in the crook of her arm, stroking back the stray hair from her eyes before he got up and headed back to his and Rose's room. There she was, in her nightdress sitting at the table, brushing her hair. 

‘Leah's asleep,’ he told her, getting undressed.

'What story did you tell her tonight?’

'The Wire.’

'The thing on the tape?’ 

'Yeah.’

‘Oh. Hey, did we ever record over that?’

‘I thought you did.’

‘No?’

They paused, looking at each other.

‘Yeah, we should probably find that tape,’ Rose mused, before changing the subject, as she struggled to stand up. 'What are you doin’ tonight?’

‘What?’ he asked, trying to locate a pair of boxers.

‘Since you regenerated you don’t sleep much with me anymore.’

‘Don’t I?’

‘No. Especially since we started working for Jack.’

‘I’ve just reset back to a Time Lord circadian rhythm,’ he explained, finally finding a pair. ‘It’ll take me awhile to get back to where I was before.’ He pulled them on, and then stopped to look at her. ‘You okay with that?’

‘Oh, no, it’s fine,’ Rose said dismissively, climbing into bed. ‘Kinda miss you, though.’

He gave a self-satisfied smirk. She rolled her eyes and flipped back the cover for him to enter. ‘So you in here tonight?’

‘Yeah. All that dancing has worn me out,’ he joked.

She giggled as he climbed in beside her. The lights automatically went down and he moved in to hold her.

'Are you sure you're alright?’ she asked.

'Brax’s medicine has helped a lot over these past few weeks,’ he said. 'I'll be fine.’

‘Is that you admittin’ Brax did somethin’ clever?’ Rose teased.

He sniffed indignantly. ‘Never.’

She giggled again, and closed her eyes. He waited for her to fall asleep deeply, before he got up again, dressed and went back out into Torchwood. He checked for prying eyes, before he moved to the door at the bottom of the steps by his desk – the one he'd forbidden Leah from entering – and slipped through.

There was Jack, sitting on the floor doing some wiring of the regeneration simulation machine that they were creating. He entered in a skid with jazz hands.

‘You're a bit late,’ Jack commented, barely acknowledging his spectacular entrance.

‘Rose,’ the Doctor replied. 

'Well, I'm done with this section. Are we going for a play test?’ 

The Doctor nodded, taking a seat next to him and double-checking his wiring, bobbing left and right to his imaginary beat. 'Yeah.’

'Can you stop dancing? Don't get me wrong, I love it, but you're making me anxious.’

'Sorry, I've just gotta keep moving,’ the Doctor replied, still bobbing. 

Jack sighed. ‘Can I try this machine when it's done?’

The Doctor looked at him, confused. ‘You want a go?’

‘Kinda wanna know how regenerating feels,’ Jack admitted. ‘Maybe it's like when I come back from death.’

'Okay, you’ve got me, I'm intrigued,’ the Doctor said, finalising the last connection. ‘Let me try it first, though.’

‘Okay,’ Jack replied as the Doctor scanned the machine with his sonic, and hummed approvingly. He sat in the seat, and placed the metal bowl that was streaming with wires like spaghetti on his head. He tapped a few buttons, and their creation burst into life with a hiss and a whine, before dulling to a low hum. Several lights flashed intermittently.

‘Right. Strap me in. Tight,’ the Doctor said. He’d stopped dancing, now, as suddenly everything seemed a little ominous.

Jack nodded, obligingly strapping in his head, arms, wrists, legs, ankles and chest. ‘You’re in.’

‘This isn’t going to be pretty,’ the Doctor advised Jack. 

‘Didn’t think it would be,’ Jack admitted. ‘You going for the full whack, then? With the regeneration pain?’

‘Only way to test it’s working,’ the Doctor replied. 

‘When should I stop it?’

‘If something physically starts happening to me, the machine goes wrong, or I shout out your name.’

‘Okay.’ Jack hovered his hand over the start button. ‘Ready?’

The Doctor took a deep breath and readjusted himself. ‘Yes.’

‘Good luck,’ Jack said, and hit the button.

**STAGE ONE** the progress readout said.

The machine burst into a screech, as suddenly the Doctor jolted quite badly. He gasped, his eyes wide, as his face screwed up with utter agony and he cried out, panting for air.

**STAGE TWO**

The Doctor’s body suddenly relaxed, before suddenly his arms jolted, clearly trying to go up. Jack stood, watching with his heart in his mouth as the Doctor began to howl.

**STAGE THREE**

The Doctor’s eyes snapped shut and his head tried to go back, but the strap and the rest stopped it. The machine started to tremble, screech, and  _ clunk!  _ with an ominous amount of force. The Doctor’s howling increased exponentially in volume ...

‘JACK!’ the Doctor screamed through gritted teeth, his face contorting, his neck bulging with arteries and veins of the sheer stress on his body ...

Jack quickly whacked the stop button. Nothing happened as the machine’s high-pitched sounds and shaking increased. Jack was panicking now. With the Doctor’s harrowing screams ringing in his ears, he dived to the power feed, reached forward and pulled the entire thing out. 

The resultant electric felt like being hit by a very long, very powerful lightning strike, and he died on the spot.

* * *

When Jack revived, all was dark. Gasping, he rolled onto his front and caught sight of the Doctor coughing and struggling out of the machine. Jack immediately struggled upright and reached him.

‘Doctor,’ Jack said anxiously, getting rid of the headpiece and the straps, and carefully placing him on the floor. 

The Doctor coughed again. ‘Well, that … didn’t work,’ he gasped.

‘You’re right about that,’ Jack replied, checking his hearts. 

‘Dampers have … slipped … on the output,’ the Doctor said between pants for air, his eyes watering. ‘It ... nearly killed me. Thanks for … stopping it.’

‘No problem,’ Jack said, satisfied both his hearts were beating adequately. ‘I ripped out the power feed.’

The Doctor nodded, coughing chestily. 

‘Lights have gone, I think we shorted out the whole place,’ Jack said, checking out of the door to the Hub beyond. 

‘Gotta fix it,’ the Doctor gasped out. ‘Security woulda … gone down.’

Jack nodded, and watched as the Doctor attempted to stand up, but was mostly failing. Jack obligingly grabbed him, putting his arm around his shoulders. The Doctor seemed to be made of jelly – he could barely keep himself upright.

Jack dragged him out of the door, and inch by inch, they managed to get up the steps.

‘This is stupid,’ the Doctor moaned. ‘Just leave me and … fix it.’

Jack nodded, placing him gently on the floor just outside the Hub entrance. ‘Back in a sec.’

He ran down some steps, into the security area. Without looking at the screens he went for the fuse box, started flicking everything back into place, but stopped dead when he heard threatening voices. He couldn’t get the first few sentences, but by the time he reached the door, the exchange was becoming louder.

'I honestly don’t have a clue what you're talking about,’ the Doctor's voice said.

‘In the name of all that is holy you will tell us the location of the Holy Relic of Syn’ta!’ an alien voice demanded.

Jack peeked around the edge of the door, where he could see a group of Tryzions hovering over the Doctor, pointing their weapons at him. Jack reached for his gun, but quickly realised with a pang of horror that he’d left it in his office.

‘No idea what that is.’

‘If you resist you shall be compelled to answer, in the name of the Holy One!’ the Tryzion said, and raised its gun to the Doctor. 

‘Wait, wait, wait,’ the Doctor said. ‘Don't compel me, just tell me what it is and I'll tell you if it's here.’

‘The Holy Relic of Syn'ta!’

‘So what's this thing of this god?’ the Doctor asked. ‘Because I don't know  _ jack.’ _

He stressed the last word quite profoundly. He knew Jack was there. Problem was, Jack hadn't come up with a plan yet. He looked around, desperate for something to use, and spotted the transmat to Torchwood Tate. He could probably get there, but the sound could alert the Tryzions to his presence.

‘You dare blaspheme the name of the almighty one!?’ the leader screeched.

‘I’m not blaspheming, I just don’t know what you’re talking about ...’

‘Da?’ a little girl’s voice suddenly asked from somewhere across the Hub. Jack’s heart skipped a beat. It was Kiana, standing there in her pyjamas, rubbing her eyes.

‘Kiana, get out of here!’ the Doctor shouted anxiously, but it was too late. The Tryzions went straight for the eleven-month-old.

‘Da!’ Kiana squealed as the Tryzian’s swept her up in their grip.

Jack couldn’t hide any longer. He dived out of his hiding place, his hands in the air. ‘Okay, stop, hold it there. Leave the girl alone and we can talk.’

‘You have the Holy Relic of Syn’ta?’ the leader asked.

‘Maybe we do, but I’m not telling you anything until you let the girl go,’ Jack shot back, his eyes narrowing.

‘Then we will sacrifice the child in the name of Syn’ta!’ the Tryzian leader shouted, about to raise his gun.

‘You do that and I’m not telling you a fucking  _ thing,’  _ Jack warned, low and threatening. ‘In fact, I’ll kill you. All of you. So let the girl go and let’s talk about this, so I don’t have to get alien blood all over my shirt.’

The Tryzion leader hesitated.

‘If you want someone to threaten, threaten me, I’m so much more threaten-able,’ the Doctor said keenly. ‘I mean, look at me, I can’t even move. I’m helpless. That’s so much easier.’

The Tryzians seemed to relent a bit, and let Kiana go. 

‘Get out of here, Kiki,’ Jack said, not taking his eyes off of the Tryzian leader.

‘Da,’ Kiana said for the third time, about to cry.

‘Go to your room, okay? I’ll be there in a few minutes.’

‘Go on, Kiana,’ the Doctor prompted.

Kiana didn’t look in the least bit happy about that, but turned and left. Instead, the Tryzians pointed their guns at the Doctor.

‘Tell us where the Holy Relic resides!’ the leader ordered Jack.

‘Okay, I’ll take you,’ Jack said. ‘But bring him, so I know he’s still alive.’ He pointed at the Doctor.

The Tryzian leader nodded to its associates, and two of them grabbed hold of the Doctor, hauling him upright. Jack shared a look with the Doctor, who just nodded. Jack nodded ever so slightly in return, and with about five guns on him, he took the Tryzians down the stairs to the vaults.

He could hear the Doctor's feet dragging along the grating behind them as they descended down into the very depths of Torchwood. Before Jack knew it, they’d reached the vault with the Moirai inside. Jack paused for a moment, then, with guns on him and his best friend, he keyed in the code and the vault hissed open. 

There it was, the glowing blue sphere. The crowd of Tryzions gasped, several dropping to their knees.

‘Blessed be this day!’ the leader cried. ‘Give it to us.’

Jack hesitated. ‘I can’t.’

‘Give the Holy Relic to us!’ the Tryzion leader demanded, angry.

Jack backed away, his hands in the air. ‘Take it. I can’t touch it.’

The Tryzion leader’s eyes narrowed. ‘What is this human trickery!?’

‘I can’t touch it, it’ll kill me,’ Jack said.

‘I’ll take it,’ the Doctor said quickly, clearly seeing this taking a turn for the worse. ‘I’ll give it to you.’

The Tryzion leader nodded. They practically threw the Doctor at Jack, who only just about caught him. He quickly pulled him up. The Time Lord’s legs were now retaining a bit of his weight, but he still wasn’t completely upright. Jack guided him to the vault, and the Doctor reached in and took the key. Together they turned, and the Doctor regarded the Tryzions.

‘Before you take this, you should seriously consider what you’re …’

‘Give the Holy Relic here!’ the leader demanded, thrusting their hands out. The Doctor sighed, and obligingly held it out.

Suddenly, something metal skidded through the Tryzion’s legs, past the Doctor and hit the wall. Jack looked down.

‘Stun grenade!’ he cried, throwing the Doctor bodily away. All of the Tryzions ducked, shouting in alarm, as seconds later the grenade detonated.

* * *

Jack came around for the second time in ten minutes, just in time to see a figure in black hovering near the Doctor, scrabbling around him. He was alert immediately.

‘Get away from him!’ Jack cried.

The figure didn't stop. By the time Jack got up the figure had found the Key, shoved in in their cloak and made for the door. 

'Stop, in the name of Syn’ta!’ the leader cried, who'd also come around. The figure bolted out of the door. The Tryzions all struggled up, following their leader in pursuit of the cloaked figure, leaving the Doctor and Jack alone.

'Doc?’ Jack asked anxiously, moving to the heaped body. The Doctor’s eyes opened slowly, gazing unfocused up at Jack.

‘Doctor, this person came in and took the Moirai,’ Jack said quickly. ‘The Tryzions went after them.’

‘Ugh,’ the Doctor murmured, struggling to sit up and rubbing his head. Suddenly, he looked very pale. Jack saw it coming before it happened, but he could only step back as the Doctor commenced throwing up.

After a few hurls he stopped, looking terrible. He looked up at Jack, his eyes watering. ‘Do you ever get the feeling like this isn’t your day?’


	4. The Walking Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor realises they have to pursue the keys, and they set off to the graveyard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don is the Tenth Doctor's metacrisis, who died right at the start of this series in the prologue of Destiny to save Rose.

‘What the hell happened?’ were Rose’s first words that morning as she came out of the TARDIS. The Hub was in a complete mess, things scattered around the floor worse than a teenager’s bedroom. Ianto was across the Hub, straightening a computer monitor, Gwen was picking up fragments of broken objects, Leah and Kiana were putting things into boxes, and Jack was directing it all, barking orders. When he saw her, he quickly took her aside.

‘Those religious people broke in last night looking for the Moirai,’ he said. 

'Oh, god,’ Rose muttered. 'Where is it now?’

'Good question,’ Jack said. 'While we were dealing with them, another person burst in, threw a stun grenade and nicked it. The Tryzions went after them.’

'Geez,’ she murmured. ‘Where’s the Doctor?’

'Medbay.’

Rose’s eyes widened. 'What? What happened?’

'Uncle Jack, I dunno what this is and I think it’s gonna blow up!’ Leah suddenly complained.

'Ask him,’ Jack said quickly to Rose, and went to assist the five-year-old.

A little worried, Rose waddled as fast as she could to the Medbay. There she saw her husband sitting up on the bed hooked up to some drips, his head in a pail.

‘Jack told me, are you okay?’ she asked anxiously.

'Yeah, I'm fine,’ he replied, his voice echoing in the pail.

Rose stared at him. ‘You’re sitting in the Medbay with your head in a bucket.’

He looked up at her. He looked greener than radioactive material. ‘Yeah, um, I've been throwing up on and off for eight hours.’

‘You've taken Brax’s medicine?’

‘I've almost overdosed on Brax’s medi–’

He interrupted himself by throwing up. She quickly sat next to him, rubbing his back. 'I thought you were done with this for a bit.’

'I think the electric shock did it,’ he said afterwards.

'Um, what?’

He winced, like he’d just said something he wasn’t supposed to. ‘Um, yeah,’ he said. ‘Had a bit of an accident.’

Rose was panicking now. ‘What the hell are you talkin’ about?’

‘Re–’ he managed before he threw up again. ‘Regeneration simulation machine,’ he finally got out. ‘We were testing it and the dampers weren’t on correctly. I got five hundred amps right through me. Jack saved me.’

‘Oh my god,’ Rose muttered.

‘It’s okay, I’m fine,’ the Doctor insisted. ‘Lost feeling for a little bit but we’re back now.’

‘When did you start makin’ the regeneration machine?’

‘About the time I stopped coming to bed,’ the Doctor replied. ‘I wasn’t sleeping, neither was Jack; thought we might as well make it.’

‘Oh,’ Rose muttered, just before he threw up again. It was heartbreaking just how fed up he looked. She took him into a hug, kissing his cheek. 

‘Make it stop,’ he almost begged her.

‘I know,’ she moaned, and tried to take his mind off of it. ‘So we’ve lost that Moirai thing, yeah?’

He nodded. ‘The Tardis can’t track it. Either they’re hiding it very well, or it’s been taken off world.’

‘Who took it?’

‘Don’t know, neither of us saw them properly. Jack said it was someone in a black cloak. I didn’t see anything, too busy being unconscious. The security was down too, so no cameras.’

‘Oh,’ Rose muttered, frowning. ‘That’s not good.’

‘No,’ he agreed. 

'What are we gonna do?’

He finally pulled the pail away. 'I don't know. We need to get Brax and call a meeting.’

* * *

'Are you  _ sure _ that what you had was a key of the Moirai?’ Brax asked seriously an hour later, sitting in the conference room with Jack, Rose, Gwen, Ianto, the Doctor and Leah.

'I'm going to assume it was,’ the Doctor replied. ‘But people have died. It doesn’t matter whether it’s the Moirai or not, it’s something that people are willing to kill over.’

‘Any idea on who has got it now?’ Brax wondered.

The Doctor shrugged. 'Whoever took it was a professional. They were armed and prepared, and in and out in a flash. We haven't got a clue who they were or where they've gone. We have to assume that someone now holds a key of the Moirai, and we don't know who.’

'Then there's only one thing to do,’ Brax said. 'You had the vision. We know where the next key is. We have to find it first and stop this before it starts.’

The Doctor sighed. 'Yeah.’

'Even if this is not the Moirai, it's powerful. It needs to be contained.’

‘Exactly what I was thinking,’ the Doctor replied. ‘Anyone got any reason why this is a bad idea?’ he asked the group, almost hopefully. No one said anything. 

‘We’re gonna find the next key?’ Leah asked keenly.

‘Yes,’ Brax replied, gazing at his brother. ‘It is the only way.’

The Doctor paused, and then stood up. ‘Right. Who fancies a trip to a graveyard?’

* * *

‘We’re here,’ the Doctor announced as they landed, pulling a face. ‘It’s been a while.’

Rose nodded, silent. Everyone else looked at the Doctor as he led the way out, through the TARDIS door and into the graveyard.

It was quite a large, but very hidden-away place, with a church that had seen better days and unkempt flora creeping towards the graves, large and thick and shielding the place from the outside. It was as though it were in its own little bubble. There was no sound aside from the birds and the rustling of the tree leaves in the breeze. Jack craned his neck to see if there was any sign of life at all beyond the vegetation, but they seemed to be in the middle of nowhere.

‘Where are we?’ Gwen asked.

‘Aylesrock, south west England,’ the Doctor replied, heading off towards the gravestones with everyone else in tow.

‘Why here?’ Jack wondered to Rose as they walked.

‘What?’ Rose asked.

‘Why bury Don here?’

She shrugged. ‘Came on holiday around here, once. Thought it was really pretty. I couldn’t remember the name but the Doctor found it by how I described it. We thought it was peaceful.’

‘Does anyone live here?’

‘Not many people anymore,’ Rose said. ‘We found out that during World War Two there was a small village here, but all of the men, fathers and sons, were over 18 and went to fight. All of them died, leavin’ all their wives and daughters. Everyone filtered away after that to the town and beyond. There’s a holiday cottage on the way to the big town nearby. That’s where I stayed with Mum.’

‘Peaceful?’ Jack echoed, laughing a little. ‘Sounds more haunted than peaceful.’

‘I just didn’t want anyone to disturb him,’ Rose said. 'Where we buried my dad was right next to this train track and the local kids were always trashin' the place. I didn't want that for Don.’

Jack nodded as the Doctor came to a stop beside a particular grave, with fresh flowers laid out by the headstone.

‘If you haven't been here for a while how are those flowers still blooming?’ Gwen asked.

‘Good question,’ the Doctor said, frowning.

'It is probably the thing we are calling the Moirai,’ Brax explained. ‘Whatever it is, is powerful. Time may have fractured around it. Let’s find it. Thete, recognise anything?’ 

The Doctor briefly looked around. 'No.’

'Let's search.’

'What are we lookin’ for?’ Rose asked. ‘What did you see in your vision, again?’

'A tomb,’ the Doctor replied. 'I think it was through some undergrowth.’

'Okay,’ Brax said, and set off. Ianto, Gwen, Rose and the Doctor followed. Jack was about to follow, but he noticed Leah was staying by the graveside. He knelt down next to her, reading the grave.

**Here lies Don Smith**

**2008-9**

Below that was an inscription in gallifreyan.

'What does that say?’ Jack asked the girl.

'N-kai’praka’eon, n-ara eon’praka’kai. We caused you, and you caused us,’ Leah translated, and looked at Jack. 'He was only a year old? Was he a baby mummy and daddy had before me?’

‘No. Long story.’

‘Can you tell me, please?’ Leah asked, her eyes lighting up.

Jack checked for the whereabouts of the others, but they were off searching for the tomb. 'Okay. A long time ago, way before you were even a thought in your mommy and daddy’s heads, Daddy had a friend called Donna. She was amazing. But something happened, and out of her and your daddy's DNA there was a two-way metacrisis. You know what that is?’

'Yeah. A hybridised organism,’ Leah replied.

Jack nodded. 'Donna took on some of the personality traits of your daddy, and a new person was created. He looked like your daddy, but he had some of Donna's traits. He called himself Don. When we all split up, your daddy tried to leave your mommy and Don on the parallel world.’

'Why?’ Leah asked, confused. 

'He thought she'd be happier there with Don. He was trying to give her a happy ending. But your mommy and Don were having none of it. They screamed at him until he took them back with him to our world. Then they lived on the Tardis together, travelling around the universe, until one day there was an accident. Your daddy was hurt, badly, and they all had to run back to the Tardis. But on the way back, they were being chased. Don, to save your mommy, took a poisonous dart. He died pretty quick. Your mommy told me that it was after that your daddy kissed her for the first time. He’s never said why, but she thinks Don said something to him.’

‘Oh, cute,’ Leah said, beaming. ‘But what happened to Donna?’

‘She couldn't cope with having a Time Lord brain. Your daddy had to wipe her memory. She completely forgot your daddy, the Tardis, everything. She’s still alive, she’s in London, but your daddy can never see her again.’

‘Oh,’ Leah muttered, looking back at the gravestone. She paused. ‘They seem nice. Would they have liked me?’

'They’d have loved you,’ Jack replied, and looked back at the gravestone. ‘So long ago.’

* * *

The Doctor had branched off from everyone else. He had spotted a patch of undergrowth off of the beaten track, and was currently wading his way through stinging nettles. He emerged out the other side, and, hidden away, just like he’d seen in the vision, was a tomb carved in stone with a wooden entrance, looking as old as time itself.

‘Over here!’ he was about to yell, when suddenly he heard a quiet ‘pft!’, and immediately a harsh pain erupted in his head. He yelped and fell to the floor, closing his eyes for a few moments before he opened them again, and realised someone was standing in front of him.

He looked up, and froze.

_ ‘Doctor,’ _ Don said.

‘Don,’ the Doctor muttered, pushing himself to his feet again with thoughts rushing through his head. Was this another vision? It seemed far more real and vivid than the others. ‘Is this a vision?’ he asked.

The half-faded man ignored the question.  _ ‘Did you make her happy?’ _

The Doctor considered him. It had been seventeen years for the Doctor, but he still remembered that day like it was yesterday. Even if this was a vision, he suddenly didn’t care. He owed this man far too much. ‘Yes,’ he replied. ‘I did what you told me to do.’

_ ‘And?’ _

‘We have a daughter, and a son on the way,’ he answered. ‘We’re married and bonded.’

Don smiled.  _ ‘You did it?’ _

‘You don’t have to sound so surprised,’ the Doctor said with mock affront.

Don laughed.  _ ‘I'll admit, when I died, I didn’t have a lot of faith in you to do it, Spaceman.’ _

‘Thanks,’ the Doctor said, grinning a little.

_ ‘Are you happy, though?’ _

‘Yeah,’ the Doctor replied, smiling. ‘I’ve … never been happier.’

Don smiled.  _ ‘So, you’re looking for something, right?’ _

‘The Moirai,’ the Doctor said. ‘Any ideas?’

_ ‘Oh yeah, got a few,’  _ Don answered, and beckoned the Doctor as he walked along a clear path back to the graveyard. The Doctor followed, until they were into the main area, and he paused.

‘Okay,’ he muttered slowly, staring at the sight of hordes of people gathered around the graves. They were all like Don – half-visible apparitions. Men, women, children, babies. Some, despite being half-visible, looked like tangible humans whilst others had blood on them, some with some limbs missing or otherwise injured in some way. Fatally, the Doctor realised. These were the people he’d heard the screams of in the vision. 

All of them were just repeatedly experiencing their deaths, over and over, standing on their graves. One woman had her hands in a position as if clutching a steering wheel, saying,  _ ‘why is that guy driving through a red light?’  _ before suddenly screaming, throwing up her arms to shield her face, and then looping back to the start with her hands on the imaginary wheel. The entire graveyard was awash with screams, prayers and desperate last words of people in their final moments.

The Doctor had a thought, and checked himself. He could see the ground through his legs and feet. He was half-visible too. He ran a hand through his stomach. He was a ghost, the Doctor realised. Or, at least, whatever manifestation Don was that the Doctor had resorted to calling a ghost. He had no idea how to even begin comprehending this.

‘What’s going on?’ the Doctor asked Don. 

_ ‘Everyone you see is dead. Time’s broken here, and the apparitions just end up reliving their deaths. Over and over. It's mad.’ _

‘This is the fragments of time around the Moirai,’ the Doctor realised, checking his palm. The scar was glowing a bright blue, clearly active. ‘Forming a time trap, of sorts. Like a hammer smashing a car window. This place is hugely unstable and fractured.’

_ ‘Yeah. Time hasn’t moved on in this graveyard for so long. Things don’t grow, or die, or rot, or anything. They just keep looping.’ _

‘That’s why the flowers were still fresh on your grave,’ the Doctor realised. ‘The Moirai  _ must  _ be inside the Tomb. It’s the only place it can be. I need to get inside. Do you know anything about a nameless girl?’

_ ‘There’s a girl stuck in the tomb,’  _ Don replied.  _ ‘She just cries and screams.’ _

‘If I come out of this vision, I can open the door,’ the Doctor said.

_ ‘That’s not the problem, here,’  _ Don replied.  _ ‘She’s not physically trapped. Lemme show you.’ _

He led the Doctor to the closest grave. There was a man, wide-eyed and terrified. ‘ _ Let her go!’  _ he screamed, throwing out his arms, as if to protect someone. Seconds later he gasped, screamed and groaned as the Doctor’s eyes looked down to his stomach, and he realised the man had been stabbed to death. Next to him was a woman, begging for mercy before having her throat slashed. They’d been murdered.

_ ‘Look at the gravestone and say their names,’  _ Don advised him.

The Doctor looked. 

**Patrick and Ellie Taylor**

**1978-2003, 1980-2003**

**Loving father and mother of Charlotte**

**You will be in our hearts forever**

‘Patrick, Ellie,’ he stated.

Suddenly, the ghosts stopped their repetitive cycle. 

_ ‘Patrick?’  _ Ellie asked, astounded.

_ ‘Ellie,’  _ Patrick whispered.  _ ‘We’re dead. He killed us.’ _

_ ‘Oh god,’  _ Ellie wailed.  _ ‘But I don’t wanna be dead …’ _

_ ‘Who’s looking after Charlotte?’  _ Patrick asked the Doctor desperately.

‘She’s fine, she’s got people who care about her,’ the Doctor lied. He had no idea.

_ ‘I don’t want her to be alone,’  _ Ellie sobbed.

‘She’s not alone,’ the Doctor insisted. ‘She’s happy.’

_ ‘Thank god,’  _ Patrick whispered.

_ ‘Charlotte’s okay?’  _ Ellie asked, her eyes shining.

‘Yes,’ the Doctor replied.

She smiled.  _ ‘Thank you,’  _ she said, and suddenly both her and Patrick reverting back to their deaths throes.

_ ‘I dunno how it works but it does,’  _ Don said.  _ ‘It just brings them out of it for a bit.’ _

‘Power of a name, old magic,’ the Doctor said. ‘It was an alleged way of controlling the dead in ancient times. So powerful it can cut into the displacement of time the Moirai is causing.’

_ ‘Yeah?’ _

‘Maybe,’ the Doctor said, pulling an expression.

Don laughed. 

* * *

They went back to the tomb. The Doctor tried to see if he could walk through the door, being a ghost, but the door and the stone walls of the tomb were impenetrable, as though there were some kind of forcefield.

‘Who’s buried in this tomb?’ the Doctor wondered.

_ ‘Dunno,’  _ Don replied.

‘Hoc est corpus meum,’ the Doctor read off of the heading over the tomb. ‘This is my body. Well, that's pretty accurate.’

_ ‘Yeah,’  _ Don agreed.

The Doctor leant forward, and listened. Inside he could hear a little girl crying, terrified.

‘Hello?’ he tried.

_ ‘She won’t answer, not without us saying her name.’ _

‘The nameless girl,’ the Doctor mused. 'So the problem is, there's a girl trapped in the tomb, but you can't break her out of her death throes to tell her to come out because you don't know her name.’

_ ‘Yeah,’  _ Don said. 

‘So we've got to find out her name and tell her to come out,’ the Doctor said. ‘Then we can go in and get the Moirai key. Right. Easy.’

_ ‘Is it?’ _

‘Probably not,’ the Doctor conceded, turning back to him. ‘Wait, if everyone here is repeating their deaths over and over, then why aren’t you?’

_ ‘Why aren’t you?’  _ Don countered.

The Doctor stared at him, his eyes widening. ‘Wait. I’m dead?’

_ ‘Figure it out, Time Boy,’  _ Don replied.

‘When did I die?’ the Doctor asked, alarmed. ‘Why haven’t I regenerated?’

Don shrugged.

‘Hold on,’ the Doctor muttered, checking himself. He couldn’t see any marks. 

_ ‘You should find a reflective surface,’  _ Don advised.

The Doctor checked the surroundings, and saw a large puddle. He moved over, and looked.

His reflection was warped in the water, but that wasn’t enough to distort him completely. He could see his own head, slicked with blood. He recognised the pattern of injury very well. ‘Someone shot me in the head. It killed me instantly. I couldn’t even regenerate,’ he realised, and looked at Don, alarmed. 'But … how!?'

Don shrugged again.  _ 'What's the last thing you remember?' _

'I heard a noise, and then …'

The Doctor's jaw dropped a little as he recalled that extremely painful moment just before he blacked out. ‘I can’t be dead. ‘Not like this. I’m not ready. Not anymore.’

_ ‘Is what everyone else who dies thinks,’  _ Don said. 

‘I’ve gotta go back,’ the Doctor said anxiously, and ran back to the spot he'd apparently died in. There was nothing there. ‘Rose! Brax! Someone!’ he yelled up to the sky, but got nothing back. He forced himself to calm and think rationally for a moment. Maybe he wasn’t dead. Maybe he was having a vision. Maybe the head pain had signalled the beginning of a vision. Maybe he was close to the Moirai and it was manipulating his mind. Maybe it was a dreamscape. Or maybe, he just had absolutely no idea how or why this was happening.

Wherever he was and whatever was going on, it was clear he had to adapt to his situation, and hope that things would clear up with it.

He straightened up, and looked at Don. ‘Okay,’ he said. ‘Let's find out her name.’


	5. Named

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor tries to find the girl’s name.

The Doctor decided that their best chance of finding out the girl’s name would be Rose’s domestic approach. Asking the neighbours.

So he and Don went around the graveyard, reading people’s names off of the headstones to bring everyone out of their death throes. It took a few tries to get the process right. The first few attempts, the ghosts would fret about loved ones so long that by the time the Doctor had reassured them, they’d be back into their death cycle. However, eventually he devised the technique. He called everyone’s name twice. He’d discover their loved one’s name in the first breaking of the death cycle, and in the second breaking of the death cycle, he’d reassure the ghosts of their loved one’s safety quickly before asking them if they knew anything about the girl in the tomb. None of them had any information so far. He’d met crash victims, like Claire, murder victims, like Patrick and Ellie, people who’d had terrible accidents, like Anthony who’d fallen from a window, but nobody had any information on the girl in the tomb.

It was only a small graveyard, and twenty-five graves later, and they were rapidly running out of dead people to ask. As he and Don worked, the Doctor was losing hope in ever finding out the girl’s name, and in turn, hope that he’d ever get out of this place. 

The situation had been turning over in his mind constantly, despite the fact he was absolutely terrified of working it out. If he was now stuck here, it meant he would never return to Rose, Leah, or see Theo. 

When he boiled it down to the most basic level, he was apparently stuck in this world of the alleged dead, being allegedly dead himself. Which was also a mystery. He’d apparently been shot in the head. By what or whom he didn’t know as it had been so quick and fatal, but he could have a good guess. The black-cloaked figure would know the location of this key, and would be very eager to take out their competition. He’d been murdered. Apparently. 

At the same time, maybe none of this was actually happening. Maybe he was just lying on the grass outside the tomb having a vision of some kind. However, if this was a vision, this was the most realistic and longest one he’d ever had. But without anyone he knew were alive and well in sight, he had to face the fact that maybe, just maybe, this was true.

But Don appeared to have a consciousness of some kind. Whether that was because the Doctor’s own imagination was projecting that onto him, the lergri was making him, or the Moirai was genuinely somehow breaking time and space around it and causing these ghosts to appear, himself included, the Doctor didn’t know. He didn’t particularly want to know, in all honesty. Because if he discovered that he really was dead, he wasn’t going to be very happy about that.

They arrived at another grave.

**Esther Elizabeth Parkes**

**1901-2003**

**Loving sister, mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother**

The ghost of Esther was lying down on top of her grave. She was an old lady, absolutely still and silent.

The Doctor glanced at Don, and then looked at her. ‘Esther,’ he stated.

She opened her eyes to look up at the Doctor.  _ ‘I died?’ _

‘Yes,’ the Doctor said. ‘I’m sorry.’

_ ‘Are my granddaughter and her husband alright?’ _ Esther asked. 

‘What are the names of your granddaughter and her husband?’ the Doctor asked, ready for next time.

_ ‘I don’t know,’  _ Esther said, confused.  _ ‘i wasn't so good with names towards the end. This god awful sickness was slowly taking it all away from me.' _

‘You had dementia,’ the Doctor realised.

_ ‘I do remember that they were there when he poisoned me.’ _

The Doctor blinked. ‘Sorry?’

_ ‘I believe he did, anyway.’ _

‘Do you remember his name?’

Esther frowned, struggling, but she did remember eventually _. ‘Francis. I always thought he was planning it for quite a while. I had quite an estate. I wanted my great-grandchildren to have it.’ _

‘Do you remember any of their names?’

_ ‘... No.’ _

Esther reverted back to her death throes.

The Doctor paused, looking around the graveyard.

_ ‘You’re not gonna ask again?’  _ Don wondered.

‘Don’t you think,’ the Doctor began, ‘that there’s quite an unhealthy proportion of people in this graveyard who have died in dramatic ways?’

_ ‘What?’ _

‘We haven’t met anyone here who’s died from an illness, or in anyway peacefully,’ the Doctor pointed out.

Don shrugged.  _ ‘So?’ _

‘Haven’t you been reading the graves?’

_ ‘What?’ _

‘Look at the gravestones,’ the Doctor told him, pointing to three in turn. ‘Esther Elizabeth Parkes, 1901-2003. Loving sister, mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother. Jacqueline Mary Wright and Liam Wright, 1949-2003, 1951-2003. In our hearts forever. Jennifer Hughes, 1989-2003. Loving daughter and great-granddaughter. Friend to all.’

_ ‘I don’t get it.’ _

‘The dates _ ,’  _ the Doctor stressed. ‘Everyone in this graveyard died in 2003, except for you.’

Don frowned.  _ ‘No way. That can’t be right,’  _ he said, checking a few more. ‘ _ Oh my god,’  _ he realised.

‘All the headstones are the same design, too. Same print. Same wear and tear.’

_ ‘They were all buried at the same time? But how?’ _

‘Families tend to be buried in the same places,’ the Doctor said. 

Don stared at him.  _ ‘Are you saying what I think you’re saying?’ _

‘I think,’ the Doctor began, ‘that one rich family were single-handedly wiped out by someone who  _ really  _ wanted Esther’s estate.’

_ ‘Oh. But how does that help us find out the girl’s name?’ _

‘Call it a hunch,’ the Doctor said, ‘but you know who we haven’t met yet?’ 

_ ‘Who?’ _

‘Francis, the man who Esther says murdered her, and Charlotte, Patrick and Ellie’s daughter.’

_ ‘The girl’s Charlotte …’ _

‘Not necessarily,’ the Doctor said. ‘Charlotte could still be alive. Maybe it’s a sister, or another girl in the family. Or maybe she’s completely unrelated.’

_ ‘But it has to be. We’ve gotta try it, at least.’ _

‘Not until we’re sure,’ the Doctor said. ‘I don’t know the rules of this place, and I don’t want to find out what happens if we say the wrong name.’

Don nodded, getting it.  _ ‘Okay, what do we do?’ _

‘Go around all of the graves again,’ the Doctor said. ‘Ask them what relation they are to Esther. We can build a family tree, and find out the gaps.’

* * *

He and Don met again near the tomb, exchanging notes. They did indeed have an entire family laid to rest in the graveyard, with the exception of Francis, Charlotte, and another girl, Annabelle.

_ ‘So it’s Annabelle or Charlotte,’  _ Don surmised. ‘ _ And we don’t know which one. Or even if it’s one of them.’ _

The Doctor thought for a moment. ‘If they’re all buried here, it means that Esther’s estate is nearby. This graveyard might even be part of it. But when we buried you there was no mention of any private landlord around here.’

_ ‘So Francis never got the estate,’  _ Don realised.  _ ‘Maybe he’s in prison, or did a runner.’ _

‘No,’ the Doctor muttered, running his hand through his hair. Then he got up, and walked to the tomb. He glanced at Don. ‘I don’t think he ever left. Francis!’ he called into the door of the tomb.

_ ‘What!? I’m dead!?’  _ a voice yelled back. Don gasped.

‘Starved to death, did you?’ the Doctor wondered, his voice laden with hate as the little girl inside the tomb continued to cry and scream. ‘You were cut out of Esther’s will because you didn’t have any children. You saw red. You went mad. All the family was gathered to pay their respects to dying Esther, so over the course of one night you poisoned Esther, stabbed Patrick and slit Ellie’s throat as they were witnesses, and realised pretty quickly that unless every line of your family was dead you weren’t going to get any of Esther’s estate. You had to do it fast, too. You began a one-man killing spree across Aylesrock. You pushed your great-nephew through a window. You tampered with your sister’s brakes, she crashed her car and died. You stabbed your niece to death, blamed it on your nephew-in-law and stabbed him too. You strangled, stabbed, and poisoned your way to being the only legitimate heir to Esther’s estate. You killed almost everyone in this graveyard for a bit of money. Your entire family. But at the end there were two left. Two little girls, Charlotte and Annabelle, both standing to inherit your mother’s fortune ahead of you. You started a manhunt. You chased them to this graveyard. They ran inside the tomb. you followed, and killed them. But you weren’t that smart, were you? The door closed and jammed. You couldn’t get out. So you sat there in that tomb with their rotting bodies, and slowly and silently starved to death. The end.’

_ ‘Please, I …’  _

‘Don’t beg me,’ the Doctor spat. ‘Annabelle! Charlotte!’

_ ‘Mummy? Daddy?’  _ a little girl’s voice said.

_ ‘He hurt me so bad,’  _ another little girl sobbed.

‘It’s okay, he’s not going to hurt you anymore,’ the Doctor said. 'You’re safe.’

_ 'I'm scared.’ _

'Don’t be. There's nothing to be scared of. I'm not going to let anything happen.’

_ 'He wouldn't stop,’  _ the other girl cried.

'I know, I know, it's okay. Charlotte, Annabelle,’ he repeated to make sure they didn't go back into their horrific final moments. ‘It’ll never happen again. I promise you. I’m stopping this right now. ’Come out.’

Slowly, two little ghost girls emerged. One was blonde, the other brunette, both so small and innocent. They looked up at him, utterly terrified, and the manner of their deaths clear. The Doctor smiled at them reassuringly.

‘Charlotte, Annabelle, we’re going to your parents,’ the Doctor told them, and led the way back to the main graveyard. He called the parent’s names, and watched as the family reunited in the afterlife, warning them to keep saying each other’s names. Then, after a while, he slunk away back to the tomb, and to the patch of grass he’d died on, staring at his blood-headed reflection in the puddle of water. 

Don appeared after a few minutes.  _ ‘Okay?’  _ he asked.

‘I’m still here,’ the Doctor said, looking at him. ‘I thought … I thought if I solved the riddle and found out the girl’s name, I’d wake up. But I’m still … dead.’

_ ‘I don’t think so,’  _ Don said.

‘What?’

_ ‘You were talking about ancient folklore earlier.’ _

The Doctor shrugged. ‘It’s just folklore.’

_ ‘But what’s the important thing to remember about the world of the dead in ancient folklore?’ _

The Doctor shrugged again. ‘I suppose, to quote a scholar, that there exists a largely unseen world that is parallel to ours, a world with its own rules and logic, a world that seems to comprehend us but eludes our own understanding. The living will never understand the rules of the Underworld, or the processes surrounding it.’

_ ‘And what do the dead know?’ _

‘Oh, lots of stuff. Mainly that they’re prophetic, and they accept that they’re dead.’ The Doctor paused, thinking about that. ‘Wait. I didn’t know I was dead, and I can’t accept it. And I’m not prophetic, at least ... not in that way.’

_ ‘Odysseus and Menippus had something in common, that maybe you have in common too,’  _ Don told him. 

‘They all visited the Underworld when they were alive,’ the Doctor said, his eyes widening. ‘They descended to gain knowledge and prophecy, and then they went back up.’

_ ‘So how did they get out?’ _

‘They found the light,’ the Doctor realised, jumping to his feet. He looked around, and saw a small breaking of light through the trees. He beamed, and looked back at Don. ‘Thank you.’

Don grinned.  _ ‘Aren’t you going to ask me for a prophecy before you go?’ _

‘Oh, dead one. I plead that you use the council of wise Tiresias to grant me knowledge, such as Menippus and Odysseus before me,’ the Doctor said, grinning.

_ ‘You will be happy,’  _ Don replied, smiling.

‘That all you’ve got?’ 

Don smirked.  _ ‘That’s all you need.’ _

The Doctor laughed. ‘Yeah,’ he said, and gazed at his metacrisis. ‘I’ll find the Moirai, take it away, and this place won’t be broken anymore. You can rest in peace.’

_ ‘Thank you.’ _

‘No, thank  _ you _ . For everything.’

_ ‘You’re welcome,’  _ Don replied, mock saluting.  _ ‘Have a good life, Doctor.’ _

'And you have a good death.'

They both grinned at each other, and the Doctor left.

* * *

The Doctor opened his eyes, and found himself lying in a puddle, pain searing through the side of his head. He gasped, looking up to see a black-cloaked figure in the undergrowth, gun in hand.

‘Hey!’ he cried, struggling up and running to the figure, but they ducked, and seconds later the door of the tomb exploded. The Doctor was thrown off of his feet as several cries of alarm came from through the undergrowth.

‘Doctor!’ Rose cried.

‘Over here!’ he yelled, scrambling up again. The figure ran into the now open tomb, and the Doctor went in pursuit. He followed the figure in, past the skeletons of Charlotte, Annabelle, and Francis, and down the stone steps, and faced the figure by the coffin of the tomb’s occupant.

‘I know you think this is going to give you ultimate power, but it’s not worth it,’ the Doctor said quickly, his hand raised. ‘Just let the Moirai lie where it is.’

The figure raised its gun.

‘Who are you? What’s your name?’ the Doctor asked, staring down the barrel. ‘Let’s talk. Please. Just talk to me. Whatever you want from the Moirai, I can help. You don’t have to do this.’

The figure was still for a moment, and the Doctor thought he might be getting through. He dared to take a step closer.

The figure suddenly burst into action. It fired a shot at him, and pushed the stone lid of the sarcophagus. It reached down and pulled out a shining blue sphere. The Doctor dived for the figure, grabbing them. The figure began to wrestle him, and after a moment’s struggle it threw the Doctor into the sarcophagus, crashing down onto a skeleton.

The bullet train feeling smacked into his head.

* * *

‘Doctor!’ Rose cried, bursting into the tomb with Brax and Jack, and nearly stepping on some skeletons in the doorway. There was a figure in a black cloak hovering next to the slightly-open sarcophagus, holding the key of the Moirai. Jack flew down the steps, but the figure raised its arm, activated a teleport, and disappeared in a wash of red energy. Jack refocused, and realised there was an arm hanging out of the sarcophagus. He darted around, and found the Doctor with blood on his head, and clearly in the middle of a vision. He scooped him up, accidentally touching the skeleton in the sarcophagus. 

‘He’s in a vision,’ he told the others as Rose rushed down the steps.

‘Residual energy must be in the spot the Moirai was, and caused a vision of the next key,’ Brax realised. ‘Get him back to the Tardis.’

* * *

‘And you have no idea what really occurred?’ Brax said after the Doctor had explained what had happened to him, with Jack and Rose listening.

‘Nope,’ the Doctor replied, tentatively touching his head where the bullet had glanced him. It had been treated, and Rose was currently wiping the blood off of his jaw with a wet tissue. ‘If I believe it, I went to the Underworld, and met the dead.’

‘Are you sure it wasn’t a vision?’ Brax persisted. ‘Because this is ridiculous. There’s no such place as the Underworld. The dead are dead, Theta. There is no “other realm”. That is ludicrous.’

‘I know, I know what I sound like. But when I came out of it, I could speak. So it couldn’t have been a vision,’ the Doctor reasoned. 

‘Perhaps it was some sort of dreamscape or something. Perhaps, somehow, you created that entire world in your head in the half a second before you were shot, basing itself on your knowledge of Greek folklore.’

‘Maybe,’ the Doctor murmured, unconvinced.

‘You do not genuinely believe you went to the Underworld, do you?’ Brax asked, scoffing slightly.

‘I don’t know,’ the Doctor replied, ‘but it felt so real.’

‘It  _ must  _ be the artefact we are calling the Moirai,’ Brax stated. ‘Perhaps it manipulated you, the hunter. Perhaps it was trying to defend itself. Perhaps it’s sentient, and it was trying to keep you away.’

‘If I didn’t die … I mean, if I didn’t go there, then we’d have never solved the riddle,’ the Doctor reasoned.

‘I need to do some research,’ Brax moaned, scratching his head. ‘There  _ must  _ be a book on this somewhere.’

‘Good luck,’ the Doctor told him as he left to the library.

‘Well, he’s not buying it,’ Jack supposed.

‘He’s too logical,’ the Doctor replied. ‘He’ll never believe this is even the Moirai.’

‘And you do?’

‘Oh, I’m pretty convinced, now.’

‘You really think you met Don?’ Rose asked, finishing cleaning him up.

‘All I know is he knew things only Don would know, and he asked things only Don would care about,’ the Doctor replied. 

‘Without Brax here to comment, you really think you went to the Underworld?’ Jack asked.

The Doctor sighed. ‘I was surrounded by the dead. I talked to the dead. I solved a murder mystery, and then I went into the light and came out. I think that just one key of the Moirai is so powerful that it can break time and space around it. It can bring back the dead, although in ghost-like form. And who knows how long it’s been here? Maybe it’s the reason the human race even has ghost stories. The Moirai creating echoes of the dead throughout human history, rippling out from here into the past, future, and present. I feel like that was real. Something to do with the time sensitive lergri in me, and the effects of the Moirai. I’m in the right situation, at the right time, in the right place. Something aligned, there.’

‘But you’re talkin’, like, destiny,’ Rose realised.

‘Some people are fated. Some things are fixed. Some things just have to be. Maybe, we’re in one of them, and we just don’t know it,’ the Doctor replied. ‘Or maybe the Moirai just made me hallucinate everything. Either way, we’ve got to find the next key. This other person has it, and they’re not going to stop the treasure hunt.’

‘Where is it? You saw it in your vision?’

The Doctor nodded. ‘I know the planet. But first, we bury Charlotte and Annabelle with their parents.’

‘What about Francis?’ Jack asked.

‘No,’ the Doctor replied firmly, his eyes narrowing slightly. ‘He can stay as the restless dead. And don’t say his name.’


	6. Underwater Menace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Jack head into a lake to find the next key.

They laid the two girls to rest, and the Doctor did a scan with the TARDIS. It seemed to indicate that any time distortions were clearing up in the graveyard. At least, if it had been real, the spirits would be able to finally rest in peace.

They all said their goodbyes to Don’s grave, and trudged back to the TARDIS. Brax was still in the library, so the Doctor decided they’d hunt the next key without him. They dropped Ianto and Gwen back at Torchwood, and headed off to the next place. Bizarrely, the Doctor warned Jack to wear something appropriate for swimming.

‘In the vision I saw this planet,’ the Doctor explained. ‘And two people. Lykas and Lokas.’

Jack raised an eyebrow. ‘Seriously?’

‘Who are they?’ Rose asked.

‘I know!’ Leah said eagerly, sticking her hand up.

The Doctor gestured for her to explain as he programmed the TARDIS.

‘They’re legends,’ Leah explained. ‘In this book I read in the library there was this whole thing ‘bout them. Back when the universe was new there was loads of death and destruction and warlords and stuff. Lykas and Lokas were these two brothers who kept the people safe. They went around the universe saving lives. That stuff.’

‘Like Robin Hood or somethin’?’ Rose supposed.

‘Yeah,’ Leah said. ‘No one thinks they were real. There’s no graves or anything. No one knows how they died.’

‘You saw them?’ Jack asked the Doctor.

‘Yes,’ the Doctor replied. ‘At least, that’s what they called each other.’

‘Coincidence?’ Jack wondered. ‘I mean, they can’t actually be real, can they?’

The Doctor pulled a face. ‘I’m starting to lose faith in the word “real”,’ he confessed. ‘I saw two people of a species I’ve never seen before. The riddle was, “on the fabled world of epic tales, two heroes lie in the deep. When at last their whimpered end is unveiled, finally all will weep.”’

‘Sounds real,’ Rose muttered as the TARDIS landed with a jolt. The Doctor suddenly dug some things out of his pocket and gave them to Jack. One was a strange, cylindrical, silver device, awash with lights, with a silicon-like piece attached, and the other was a pair of goggles.

‘Sorry, you’ll need these,’ he said.

‘What is it?’ Jack asked, checking the silver device.

‘Breath aid,’ the Doctor replied. ‘It’s a big lake. Lykas and Lokas were underwater when I saw them, and this is the only lake that fits. We’ve both got just under an hour of oxygen. Should be plenty.’

‘Okay,’ Jack replied.

The Doctor swept out of the door, with Jack, Rose and Leah following. They had landed on the edge of some kind of huge chasm, like the Grand Canyon, except it was mostly circular and full of water. The drop from where they were standing to the water below was quite dizzying.

Leah immediately waltzed up to the edge. The Doctor quickly grabbed her by the back of her shirt.

‘Stay away from the edge,’ he told her with a steel edge to his voice, hauling her back.

‘I was just looking,’ Leah protested. ‘And can’t I come?’

_ ‘Definitely  _ not,’ Rose said immediately, creeping forward ever so slightly to peer over the edge. The Doctor obligingly held her as she was immediately dizzied by vertigo, and she quickly turned to wrap her arms around him for security. 

‘This one’s me and Jack,’ the Doctor told Leah and Rose. 

‘You could at least  _ ask  _ me if I’m okay with that,’ Jack muttered, peering cautiously over the edge. ‘Jesus Christ, that’s high. We’re jumping in?’

‘Yes,’ the Doctor replied, and guided Rose and Leah back to the TARDIS doors. ‘I want you both at least five metres from the edge at all times, okay? In fact, if you want to go in the Tardis at any point, feel free.’

‘Great idea,’ Rose said quickly, and dragged Leah into the TARDIS, despite the girl’s protests.

‘Right,’ the Doctor said happily, grinning. He immediately began to strip, until he was down to his swimming gear. Jack followed suit, sporting a pair of Speedos. The Doctor then stepped up to the edge, looking down and bouncing on his toes, limbering up like an Olympic diver ready to win gold.

‘Oh my god, don’t do that,’ Rose wailed from the doorway.

The Doctor shot a grin back at her, and obligingly stepped back. He looked at Jack. ‘You know scuba diving hand signals?’

‘Yeah,’ Jack replied.

‘Well, then,’ the Doctor said. ‘Let’s go swimming.’

He took a few steps back, put his breathing aid in his mouth, and started to run. He leapt off the edge, and hurtled downwards. Jack tentatively looked over the edge, and watched as the Doctor hit the water with minimal splash, and a few seconds later he emerged, giving the surface signal for “okay” with his arms over his head, connected in a ring. 

‘He’s okay,’ Jack said as he returned the signal, and the Doctor swam clear. ‘Right. Going in.’

‘Look after each other,’ Rose said quickly, still holding onto Leah.

Jack gave Rose a reassuring smile. He put the breathing aid in his mouth, took some steps back, and jumped before his hardwired biological terror could take him over.

It felt like he was falling for hours. He was almost bored of the drop before he hit the water, and really had to struggle to get back up to the surface, to meet the Doctor already swimming towards him. 

‘Okay?’ the Doctor asked, pulling the breathing aid out of his mouth as they both hovered on the surface. ‘Nothing broken?’

‘Fine,’ Jack replied.

The Doctor looked back up to the cliff, where they could just about see Rose’s head poking out, so very far away. He repeated the okay gesture to let her know they were fine.

‘Where we headed, then?’ Jack asked.

‘Um, first, I thought I should warn you so you’re not surprised, there's a bit of marine life in here,’ the Doctor said.

‘So? It’s a lake, it's gonna have fish.’

The Doctor pulled a face. ‘Yeah. Fish. Loads of fish.’

Jack frowned. ‘... Why are you saying it in that tone of voice?’

The Doctor’s eyebrows knotted. ‘You've always had this thing about eels, haven't you?’

Jack’s eyes widened. ‘Oh geez. There's eels in here?’

‘Well,’ the Doctor began in a high-pitched voice. ‘Eel. Singular, not plural.’

Jack breathed a sigh of relief. ‘Thank god.’

‘Though it's fairly big,’ the Doctor continued, looking casual.

Jack stared at him. ‘... How big?’

‘Um, well, you know a cat ...’

Jack was immediately relieved again. ‘That ain’t very big.’

‘I mean wild cat,’ the Doctor clarified. ‘Like a tiger or a lion.’

‘Okay, I can tackle that.’

‘Well, it’s a tad bigger than that.’

‘A tad?’ Jack repeated. ‘So how big is it?’

‘Well,’ the Doctor started again in his high-pitched voice. ‘You know a blue whale –’

‘Jesus fucking Christ.’

‘– it's just ever so slightly smaller than a blue whale.’

‘There's a giant fucking eel in here.’

‘Um, yeah.' 

‘You didn't warn me!?’

‘Couldn't with Rose up there, she'd have gone into labour.’

Jack groaned. ‘Please tell me something good. It's friendly, right?’ 

‘Oh, sure.’

Jack breathed a sigh of relief through gritted teeth. ‘Thank god.’

‘A friendly, flesh-eating eel.’

_ ‘What!?’ _

‘So, yes, just, you know, watch out,’ the Doctor said, smiling reassuringly.

‘I hate you. I actually hate you. I’m gonna kill you. I swear I’m gonna kill you.’’

‘It should be dormant at the moment. If we don't cause too much trouble it won't wake up,’ the Doctor said.

Jack’s eyes narrowed. ‘Well, that's okay then, isn't it,’ he snapped. 

‘Anyway, that’s not the problem,’ the Doctor said. ‘That’s not what killed Lykas and Lokas. They were ripped apart by a shoal of fish.’

‘Oh, this just gets better and better,’ Jack spat.

‘They’re not man eating, they’re just sharp,’ the Doctor told him. ‘They were panicked by the giant eel and Lykas and Lokas were caught in the rush. I don’t know what happened after that. Anyway, just thought I’d warn you. Otherwise, it’s in and out, no problem.’

‘You’re dead, I swear.’

‘This way,’ the Doctor said chirpily, sticking the breathing aid in his mouth and diving down.

Jack groaned again, and followed suit. He followed the Doctor down a little ways. The Doctor stopped, turned, and gave the universally-recognised question and OK sign in succession to check Jack was alright. Jack scowled, and returned the universally-recognised middle finger sign.

The Doctor turned, and started heading downwards. Jack followed. It was almost quite therapeutic as they kept descending into the depths of the lake. They searched for twenty minutes for anything interesting, but asides the pretty marine life, there was no sign of the Moirai, or the giant eel.

What Jack had assumed to be a large underwater alien rock formation suddenly moved. He jolted, nearly losing his breathing aid but managing to catch it in time. He’d found the eel. He caught the Doctor’s gaze, and quickly made the sign for “problem” by rotating a flattened hand from side to side, and pointed down. The Doctor started swimming towards him, when suddenly something big and toothy flashed in front of him. The Doctor stopped himself immediately, and Jack watched, horrified, as he realised the toothy thing was heading straight to a shoal of fish, all of which immediately scattered, regrouped, and headed straight in Jack’s direction. The Doctor quickly made the gesture to hastily ascend by thumbing up, but Jack didn’t have the time to start propelling himself before the fish hit him, their razor-sharp fins slicing through his skin. Blood-tinged water began to plume around him. He quickly tried to stem it, but he’d been cut too many times. The fish swam away, and the feeling of underwater calm returned.

He gestured okay to the Doctor, despite the blood and the sharp pain, to let him know he wasn't too badly hurt. But the Doctor was frantically making the “danger” gesture with his fist clenched, and thumbing upwards to tell him to go to the surface. Jack frowned, moving his hand up and down to tell the Doctor to calm down, following it with an “okay” gesture. But the Doctor persisted, repeating the danger sign, and telling Jack to go up.

Jack decided not to question him any further. He started going up, but the reason for the Doctor’s panic quickly made itself evident. The thing that had moved below him was starting to move even more, and as Jack looked down, he realised that the fish had cut the eel, and now the eel was waking up.

It was getting too late to swim upwards, as the eel began to make even more movements. The Doctor quickly made the gesture for him and Jack to buddy up, followed by the one to hold hands, and started towards him. Jack met him, and they found each other’s hands, just in time for the eel to move its tail quite dramatically, pushing the water. The force sent the Doctor and Jack head-over-heels through the water, out of control, but they kept a firm grip on each other’s hands. Just as they were righting themselves, the eel moved again. This time the spin was so violent Jack's breathing aid flew out of his mouth and spiralled away, out of reach and out of view.

As they settled again, Jack frantically squeezed the Doctor's hand, and gestured across his neck to signal he had no air. The Doctor clearly took a breath and gave his breathing aid to Jack. Jack gratefully took a few gulps of air and tried to give it back, but the Doctor indicated no, and gave the hand signal for okay. He gestured to go up again, and together they began to kick to get back to the surface. But another movement from the eel sent them flying back down again, with such speed they both crashed into an underground rock formation. As Jack's back slammed into it he nearly lost the breathing aid, but managed to retain it. He checked the Doctor, and realised the impact had knocked the breath out of him. Jack quickly took a deep breath, and gave the breathing aid back to the Doctor, who gratefully took a few breaths before handing it back. 

The eel was above them now, huge and terrifying. The force of it in the water was forcing them downwards, deeper into the depths of the lake. Then, Jack saw its face. It was massive and terrifying, with jutted teeth and huge, shining black eyes, and it was looking straight at them. His cuts had healed, but the blooded water was still lingering. He felt the Doctor tap his arm, and he looked to see him pointing at an opening in the rock formation. Without hesitation, they swam towards it with every modicum of speed they could muster. They reached the opening, just before the eel’s horrific face slammed into the rocks. Jack felt something grip onto his leg. Immediately the pressure left, but a serious, horrific pain began, and red began to rise around him. He forced himself not to scream, keeping the breathing aid in his mouth. The Doctor looked back, and immediately increased his speed. Suddenly, they emerged out of water inside the cave, inside an air pocket. The Doctor gasped it in gratefully.

‘Not breathable for you,’ he realised. Panting, he then swam forward to the edge of some flat rock and hauled Jack up, dragging him to safety. ‘You’ve lost a leg,’ the Doctor said, pulling off Jack’s goggles. ‘Breathe deep and slow.’

Jack decided he wasn’t going to look, and obeyed the Doctor, trying desperately to maintain his breathing with the horrific pain in his leg.

‘Go with it,’ the Doctor said, gazing into his eyes. ‘Concentrate on your breathing.’

After ten seconds, the limb regrew, and the pain dissipated. Jack groaned in relief, and finally looked down. His leg was there, but there was quite a puddle of blood below it. He took a few more breaths, and then took it out to speak, ‘if I wasn’t gonna kill you before, I  _ definitely  _ am now,’ he said, and put it back in his mouth.

The Doctor smiled slightly. ‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘How many breaths have you got left?’

Jack checked the device. ‘150.’

The Doctor winced. ‘Not even ten minutes. And the air in here isn’t going to last long for me.’

‘How is air in here even possible?’ Jack asked.

‘It’s not air, not really,’ the Doctor said. ‘Combination of some dense and complex alien gases from the algae that aren’t breathable for you. But hey, at least you didn’t die.’

‘What?’

‘We have to be at least a hundred metres down, the pressure on top and the …’

‘Don’t waste your air,’ Jack interrupted. ‘I don’t care. We’ve gotta get out. How long does your respiratory bypass go for?’

‘Err, four minutes or so in this kind of environment and exertion.’

Jack swore. ‘There no way you can get back up, even with the breathing aid. You’ll die.’

‘I was hoping you wouldn’t work that out,’ the Doctor muttered. ‘And to be honest, I’m not holding out that much hope, because I think I know how Lykas and Locas died, now.’

‘What?’

The Doctor pointed across the cave. There, in the corner, were two alien skeletons sat side by side, dressed in rusted armour with Lykas’ fabled sword and shield by one, and Locas’ jewelled staff by the other.

‘They died in here,’ Jack realised.

‘Yep,’ the Doctor said, popping his “p”. ‘And we’re about to go the same way.’


	7. The Killing Lake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Jack struggle to escape from their underwater tomb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor's evoked memories come from Paroxysmic, where a miscarriage caused the Doctor and Rose to have a major relationship breakdown that produced serious repercussions four stories later in 'Time'.

Jack thought for a moment, and then jumped up. ‘I can go up.’

‘You’ll die.’

‘Yeah, occupational hazard,’ Jack dismissed. ‘This breath aid will get me a bit up, then I’ll drown, but I’ll revive, go a bit further, drown, then revive, and just keep going to the top. I’ll get there eventually.’

‘No,’ the Doctor said immediately, his expression serious.

‘What? It’ll work. Then I can get back to the Tardis and find Brax to get to you.’

‘No,’ the Doctor repeated.

‘Why not?’

‘Jack, I’ve already killed you once, and I’m not doing it again.’

‘Are you serious? You’re gonna suffocate and die down here. And I told you. I forgive you for that. You had to do it. If you hadn’t slit my throat the Va'A'gnorns never would’ve believed you were subservient and you’d be dead.’

The Doctor ignored him. ‘This cave goes deeper, maybe there’s some way out through here,’ he stated, and headed towards the skeletons.

‘Long shot,’ Jack said. ‘Let me do this for you.’

‘No.’

‘Doctor!’ Jack shouted.

‘Don’t shout, you’ll lose your air quicker,’ the Doctor said.

‘Doctor,’ Jack repeated, calmer. ‘I can save you. Let me save you.’

The Doctor stopped, and turned to him. ‘Jack, I’ve  _ never  _ forgiven myself for what I did to you on Sirrus. I’m fed up with you dying. I hate seeing you die. I don’t care if you’re immortal, it hurts you. I’m not going to ask you to die for me.’

‘I want to,’ Jack said firmly.

‘It’s not happening.’

‘Can you just stop being a stubborn ass!?’

The Doctor ignored him, stooping down to look at the two skeletons. ‘Wait a minute,’ he said, and reached down to one of the skeleton’s hands.

‘Doctor, can you just –’

‘Looks like our friends weren’t accidentally washed up here,’ the Doctor interrupted, holding up a strange circular box.

Jack faltered. ‘What’s that?’

‘It’s a key,’ the Doctor replied.

‘What? What does it open?’

‘Judging by their position, manner of death, and this, I’d say it’s a key to something in this cave. Something they couldn’t find. There must be keyhole somewhere for this.’ 

Jack sighed. ‘Right. Okay, that’s it.’

‘What?’

‘I’m gonna get you out of here.’

The Doctor turned to him, his eyes wide. ‘No.’

‘I don’t think you get a choice,’ Jack replied, and started backing to the edge of the rocks to go back into the water.

‘Don’t you dare.’

‘Watch me.’

The Doctor darted forward to grab his arm. ‘Jack, out there is a giant man-eating eel, now awake, hungry, and annoyed. It’s going to eat you.’

‘I don’t care.’

‘It’ll eat you alive, and then once you’re dead inside it, you’ll come back, die again, and just keep on dying. If you’re lucky, you’ll be too dead to feel the stomach acid burning you. By the time it’s processed you, you’ll come out the other side, resurrect, and I’d have died two days before.’

‘It’s your only chance.’

‘It  _ will  _ eat you. It knows your blood. It’s tasted you. It’ll actively hunt you down. Jack, there is no chance that you’re going to get to the surface before I suffocate. You can’t save me. You can only save yourself.’

Jack stared at him. ‘But … But I always save you. Leah and Rose first, then you. That was the promise.’

‘Not this time,’ the Doctor replied. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘You’ll regenerate, it doesn’t matter how long I take,’ Jack replied.

‘Jack, I didn’t want to tell you this, but once this air runs out, that’s it. Even if I regenerate I’ll immediately suffocate. Right now, my life span with regenerations is about ten minutes. So you can either head up now, or you can stay here. I’m going to try and find a way out, because I don’t want to die, but if I can’t, I don’t want to …’

He trailed off.

Jack stilled. He didn’t need the Doctor to finish that sentence. He didn't want to die alone. ‘Okay,’ he said, and looked at the key in the Doctor’s hand. ‘Let’s find this thing.’

The Doctor smiled, and nodded. He then turned back, and clearly feigned looking surprised. ‘Oh, here it is,’ he said, and put the key into a specifically-shaped hole. Half a second later, there was a rumbling sound as old as time itself, and a portion of the wall slid back to expose a tunnel within. The Doctor grinned at Jack. ‘I love secret tunnels,’ he said, and walked inside.

* * *

‘Where’s Theta?’ Brax asked Rose, walking into the console room holding a book. 

'Oh, um,’ Rose started, pointing out the door. 'Next key.’ 

Brax nodded, and strode out of the door. He stopped on the edge of the cliff, stared for a moment, and then walked back in. 'Are you serious?’ he asked.

‘Yeah.’

‘By Rassilon’s beard,’ Brax cursed, his head in his hand.

‘Tell me about it,’ Rose muttered. ‘They should be back soon.’

‘Hold on,’ Brax said, frowning. ‘What planet is this?’

Rose shrugged.

‘Limax Minor 5,’ Leah stated.

Rose thought about that. ‘Why do I know that name?’

‘Please don’t tell me that’s the Killing Lake,’ Brax moaned.

‘He didn’t say it had a name,’ Rose said, and then registered what he’d said. ‘Wait. The Killing Lake? It’s called the Killing Lake?’

‘Yes.’

‘... Please tell me that’s one of those funny names like the Dead Sea or some kinda native tongue thing.’

‘It’s called that because there’s a giant man-eating eel in it.’

‘... You are kidding.’

‘No.’

‘Oh my god!’ Rose cried. ‘The bloody idiot!’

‘Hold on,’ Brax said, and went to the monitor. He tapped a few buttons to bring up the biorhythms. 

**Theta Sigma (registered passenger #1) biorhythms checklist**

**Heart rate: (1) Quite fast (2) Fast | Blood pressure: Mid-high | Blood sugar: Excellent | Breathing: Strained | Central Nervous System: Excellent | Body Temp.: OK | Electrocerebral activity: Excellent**

**Infections: Unknown entity ID ERROR**

**Foreign substances: General sustenance / Drug compound(s) - B515-799-43-7/10, C728-001-91-2/7**

**Warnings: Unknown entity ID ERROR**

**Location: Limax Minor 5, 1.6670° N, 8.9137° W**

**-END-**

**Further information? Y/N**

‘He’s fine,’ Brax realised. 

‘Of course he’s fine,’ Leah said positively.

* * *

The Doctor and Jack walked side by side through the tunnel. The Doctor was feeling more positive, as they were starting to ascend. Not by much, but at least they were becoming closer to the surface. He was keeping an eye on the amount of breaths Jack had left, and kept reminding him to maintain his breathing.

Although the Doctor now had plenty of air around him, he knew he wouldn’t last long on it. This air barely qualified as air. A mixture of alien gases from the algae and the decay of organic detritus was thick enough to push back the water, but it was playing havoc with his aerobic system. His in-built filtration was under a huge amount of strain, working overtime to get some kind of breathable gas inside him, and garnering very little for its efforts. This kind of air was only breathable for him for a while. Soon, it would turn to poison inside him. But Jack didn’t need to know that. 

Finally, they reached the end of the tunnel, and emerged into a huge open expanse inside the cave, which was strangely warm. There was a pedestal in the centre, but it looked empty. Regardless, the Doctor stepped forward.

Immediately he felt a paroxysm of emotions smack into his head – fear, anger, hatred, bliss, joy, love, confusion, to name a few – all arriving in equal and unbearable amounts, raw and sharp inside his head, his memories attached to the emotions burning in his mind. He screamed out and stumbled backwards, tripping over his own feet and falling back onto the rock.

‘Jesus!’ Jack exclaimed, stooping to him. ‘What happened?’

The emotions had gone as quickly as they’d come. The Doctor gasped in air for a moment, before he managed to get his breathing back under control. ‘Some kind of barrier,’ he said. ‘Emotional memory barrier.’

He got up with Jack’s help, and tentatively reached a hand forward. His fingers brushed some sort of forcefield, rippling at his touch. He felt the emotions again for a brief moment, but quickly pulled his hand away. ‘The Moirai must be creating a shield.’

‘So what do we do?’

The Doctor swallowed. ‘Just going to have to bear it,’ he stated. ‘Seems to take your memories and draw out the raw emotion to try and overpower you.’

Jack winced. ‘God, we need someone who doesn’t feel any emotion.’

‘Should’ve brought Brax,’ the Doctor joked half-heartedly.

Jack grinned. ‘C’mon. Get this thing so we can get out.’

The Doctor nodded. He braced himself, and stepped forward again.

The paroxysm of emotions hit him again, but this time, he steeled himself against them. Feelings and memories were slamming into his head, a mixture of positive and negative. He could see Rose laughing, then crying, and then his own burning hatred for her when she’d told him she’d lost their baby.

_ ‘Even though we didn't know about it, I just ... I couldn't protect it, yeah? I couldn't feel it. I thought I'd feel it, but I couldn't. And I couldn't protect it from the creature. It died inside me and it's like it was all my fault.’ _ _  
_ _  
_ _ ‘Don't be stupid. How can it have possibly been your fault? It's biology!’ _ _  
_ _  
_ _ ‘Shut the hell up about your science stuff! You haven't even cried! You can't feel this!’ _ _  
_ _  
_ _ ‘Just because I haven't cried doesn't mean I can't feel it!’ _

He tried desperately to force the memory out of his head, but it stayed resolutely inside. The memory they had spent so long running from was now overriding every sense he had.

_ ‘Just because I haven't cried doesn't mean I can't feel it!’ _

The memory persisted, repeating over and over in his mind. 

_ ‘Just because I haven't cried doesn't mean I can't feel it!’ _

He stopped, and began to cry. The overwhelming emotion was killing him inside. The mere thought that he could have treated Rose so badly was ripping him apart. He forced himself to step forward again, but it was like stepping through tar. Just as he thought his brain might burst, he finally emerged out of the other side, and feelings and memories disappeared. He gasped, taking a few moments to steady himself before he looked back at Jack, who looked very anxious.

'Jesus, Doctor, you okay?’

‘ Y-yeah,’ he stammered out. 'Don't do it.’

'Wasn't planning on it,’ Jack confessed. 'Grab the key and let's find our way outta here.’

The Doctor nodded, and turned to the pedestal. He checked, double-checked, and then triple checked. There was no sign of the key whatsoever. 'It's not here.’

'What did you say?’

'It's not here,’ the Doctor told him, louder. 'It’s gone.’

'Maybe we're in the wrong place?’

'It was here, definitely here, I can feel its power. Residual energy.'

'You mean someone's got here before us?’

'Looks like it,’ the Doctor confirmed. 

‘Forget it, then. Come back.’

The Doctor nodded, turning back to Jack. He was about to step back, but then he stopped. 

‘What?’

‘Jack ... I don’t think I can.’

‘What d’you mean?’

‘I can’t … I can’t do it.’

Jack’s eyes narrowed. ‘No. Come on. I’m not interested in your goddamn self-sacrifice stuff. Staying here isn’t gonna make a blind bit of difference whether I live, and I couldn’t care less if I die anyway. Get the hell back here.’

‘No, Jack,’ the Doctor croaked, and disconnected his gaze as he summed up the courage to say something he rarely said. ‘... I’m scared.’

Jack fell silent for a moment. ‘... That bad?’

The Doctor nodded.

‘It’s okay. But you gotta get out.’

‘I know, but … ugh,’ the Doctor moaned, dropping to his knees. ‘Jack. We lost a baby and I took it out on Rose.’

‘You didn’t understand what had happened. That was a completely new area for you. You forgave her, and she forgave you.’

‘I was  _ so _ angry …’

‘You’re not him anymore,’ Jack stated firmly. ‘That Doctor’s grown up. You can take it. C’mon. You gotta get back to Rose, Leah and Theo.’

‘But I …’

‘Doctor, you’re an alien. Even humans can’t magically emotionally deal with a miscarriage. You didn’t stand a chance. But you got through it. You and Rose. You’re out the other side, now.’

The Doctor swallowed, nodded, and stood up. He rolled back his shoulders, gazing at the space between him and Jack. ‘Right. Here goes nothing.’

He temporarily leant back on the pedestal to try and propel himself. He realised just half a second too late that he’d used the wrong hand, just as the bullet train slammed into his head.

* * *

‘Doctor!’ Jack yelled, panicking as the Doctor collapsed. ‘No, no, no, not now!’

There was nothing he could do but breach the barrier. He started to run, expecting all of what the Doctor had described, but absolutely nothing happened. He reached the Doctor, and could do nothing but stare, horrified, as he realised the repercussions of this. The Doctor would be unable to speak or move for at least ten minutes.

Jack swore, not only for the situation in general but also at the Time Lord himself for being so utterly stupid. This was it. He had to find a way out.

He ran off again, scouting the area for something that could constitute an escape. He eventually found an opening back to the lake, and dived in. The water was warm, and as he emerged back into the lake he realised why the cave and water were so warm. They were close to a volcano, and several geysers were firing up jets towards the surface. A mad plan came into his head. It was insanity, but now it was their only chance.

He returned to the Doctor. The blue glow had faded, and the Time Lord’s eyes eased open.

‘Inoomahdodooda,’ the Doctor said, lying supine and useless on the ground.

‘Doctor, I’ve got an idea. There are some geysers out there. If I ride the edge of one I might be able to get to the surface before I run out of breaths. I’ll get back to the Tardis. Just stay breathing, okay.’

‘Ahooehamahka,’ the Doctor said, looking very unhappy.

Jack very quickly made sure he was comfortable, adjusting his limbs and pulling his wet hair away from his eyes. He gave him a quick kiss on the forehead, and darted back to the exit. He got into the water, took a deep breath from his breath aid, and started to swim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand pause. I shall return-eth!


	8. Heroes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack is in a race against time to save the Doctor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sincere thank you for sticking with me, you are all made of shiny, sparkly diamonds, and I deeply appreciate the time you all take to read, and especially review. Again, thank you.

Jack had ridden the geyser to the surface of the lake, with minimal burns. He emerged on the surface, without a clue where the eel was. As he gasped in the air, he desperately waved to the cliff he knew the TARDIS was parked, but there was no one visible.

‘Rose!’ he yelled desperately.  _ ‘Rose!!!’ _

Nothing.

‘Someone!’ he cried.

Suddenly, a head bobbed up. It was distant, but Jack knew it was Brax. Relief washed through him.

‘Brax! Help!’ he yelled.

Brax disappeared. Jack almost sank into despair, but ten seconds later he re-emerged, and threw something long and thin down the side of the cliff. It was a wire, Jack realised. He swam as fast as he could possibly manage to the edge. He could feel the water stirring around him, and his heart rate doubled. The eel had returned. He  _ had  _ to get out of the water.

He reached the edge as the water moved. He clambered desperately up, uncaring of the cut and grazes of the sharp rocks. The wire had angled awkwardly, sloped over some rocks just out of reach.

There was nothing for it. He launched himself for the wire. Through pure luck, he grabbed it, and clung on with everything he had. He then began to scramble up. It only took twenty seconds until every muscle in his arms and shoulders were aching badly, begging him to just let go. But he forced himself onwards, teeth gritted, cutting himself some more on the rocks as he scrambled as fast as he could to the top. 

It felt like a lifetime. By the time he was ten metres from the top he was slowing down rapidly, the pain absolutely  _ excruciating _ . He was screaming with the effort, his feet constantly losing their places and the rock lacerating his soles. The thought that the Doctor was still lying in that cave underwater, about to suffocate was at the forefront of his head. The Doctor couldn’t die. Not on Jack’s watch. He kept going, kept screaming, kept struggling, until finally a hand grabbed him and hauled him up.

He collapsed immediately. ‘Doctor,’ he gasped. ‘Stuck ... underwater in ... a cave … running out … of air ...’

* * *

As time trickled away, the Doctor was lying on the cave floor, gasping for air. He was getting less and less air with every passing moment, and the air he had breathed was now turning toxic inside him. But there was nothing he could do, not yet. The sooner he used his bypass, the quicker he’d suffocate. So he just laid there, staring at the cave ceiling, trying to think positive thoughts.

One minute.

Two minutes …

Three minutes …?

Four minutes?

Five? 

The Doctor had already accepted that he had no idea how long it had been. Five minutes or five nanoseconds, it was one of the two. With the progressive lack of air, his brain was turning to mush. It was becoming harder to think, and harder to see. The cave ceiling was beginning to blur. His head felt light. He felt sick. But he knew Jack was coming.

It was time to activate his bypass, whatever that was. He tried, but quickly realised that he, in fact, had suddenly forgotten how to. Alarm bells rang in his head, but for some reason he was laughing inside. His brain was so foamy that he couldn’t remember how to activate his respiratory bypass. Why was that so funny?

Suddenly he felt something wet wash over him. He strained to turn his head, and despite the blurriness, he registered that there was suddenly a lot of water gushing into the cave, at quite an astonishing rate.

His instinct told him to move. He tried desperately to shift a limb of any kind, but he could only just about manage to lift a leg two inches before it dropped back down, useless.

He could do absolutely nothing as the water slowly enveloped him.

* * *

Brax was urgently scanning the surrounding underwater area for the cave formation Jack had described. Within twenty seconds he identified the most likely place, and carefully piloted to land inside it. He ran to the door, threw it open, and half a second later water exploded into the TARDIS, throwing Brax off of his feet.

Everyone screamed. Jack dived to grab Leah, holding onto her as Rose clung to the chair. The movement of the eel in pursuit of Jack had caused the water to break the balance of the air pressure and flood the cave. And somewhere, the Doctor was swirling around in it.

Jack gave Leah to Rose. ‘Get into the corridor!’ he cried, and started towards the door, using the console, the grating and the rail to haul himself through the flood to the doors. The TARDIS cloister bell was ringing, and she was groaning, trying to keep the force of the water away from Rose and Leah and they desperately made their way to the corridor.

Holding onto the railing by the door, Jack checked his breath aid. Ten breaths left. He took only one, and went into the water.

Fighting the power of the current, he swam around, trying to find the Doctor. He spotted the Time Lord caught up amid a collection of rocks, about to be washed out of the cave. He was struggling badly. His eyes were wide. He had no breath left in him. He was two seconds away from drowning.

Jack let himself be carried with the current, and grabbed a rock the Doctor was near. He shoved the breath aid into his mouth. The Doctor took in a breath, and immediately bubbles began to eject around his mouth as he coughed. Jack found himself subconsciously counting the breaths disappearing as the Doctor struggled to get his breathing under control. Nine, eight, seven, six, five ...

Finally, Brax appeared with the wire tied around his midriff. He swam straight towards them. There was a strong surge of water, and the Doctor was suddenly heading out to the lake. Jack lunged for him, but missed. 

Just before the Doctor got washed out of the cave, Brax raised a harpoon gun, and shot it straight at his little brother. It drilled straight into the Doctor’s torso. Blood erupted, and even through the crashing water Jack heard the Doctor’s  _ scream  _ of pain as he abruptly stopped, and the breath aid with its last few breaths was washed away. Brax activated the puller, and the Doctor began to get hauled back to the TARDIS. Despite the fact he’d just been harpooned by his own brother and now he was bleeding, the Doctor threw out his hands to grab hold of Jack’s arm in passing. But it quickly became clear that Jack’s weight was making it difficult for the harpoon to pull them back, and was causing a significant amount of pain for the Doctor.

_ Let go!  _ Jack screamed almost soundlessly,  _ pleading  _ with the Doctor. He was absolutely desperate for air, his chest about to burst ...

The Doctor didn’t. He kept holding on with a vice-like grip, screaming out. After a moment, Brax came out and threw his arms around his brother, and began to swim back. Jack nearly passed out, but seconds later they burst into the TARDIS, and he just about got a breath of air before they were submerged again. Then they surfaced once more, Brax quickly grabbed his brother and hauled him above the water. The entire console room was waist deep.

'Theta, breathe!’ Brax demanded, smacking him on his back.

The Doctor choked. ‘You sh-shot me!’ he cried, gasping.

'It’s only penetrating trauma to your left lumbar region,’ Brax said, wading around the console to move them. 'Jack, keep him still.’

Jack looked down at the area the Doctor had been harpooned. The harpoon was embedded deep into the left side of his abdomen, blood washed by the water coursing down his stomach. He wrapped an arm around him, pulling him through the water to the console. The cloister bell was still ringing. The Doctor was gasping, shaking, and desperately rested a hand on the rotor, moaning.

'Just b-breathe,’ Jack said between pants for air, keeping him protected. 

‘He sh-shot me,’ the Doctor gasped again. ‘It’s not even my b-birthday!’

Jack had no idea what he was talking about. ‘Just b-breathe. I-in and out.’

The Doctor gasped, absolutely soaked. He clung onto the TARDIS and Jack in equal measure, shaking. Then suddenly, he was coughing quite badly.

‘Brax!’ Jack choked, holding onto the Doctor. As Brax waded towards them, the Doctor slumped, and passed out.

* * *

Braxiatel had attempted to calmly take Rose aside to explain what had happened. As Jack cleaned the Doctor up, he could hear the ‘calm’ discussion through the walls.

‘You  _ shot _ him with a  _ harpoon gun! _ ?’ 

‘It was the only way to stop him washing away,’ Brax protested.

‘But you  _ shot  _ him with a  _ harpoon gun!’  _ Rose screamed.

‘I missed any major internal systems,’ Brax insisted, business-like.

_ ‘What!?’ _

Jack sighed, looking at the Doctor. They’d extracted the harpoon and bandaged the wound up, and he was on oxygen therapy from asphyxiation, as well as some general cuts and scrapes. He hadn’t woken up yet. In the state Rose was in, Jack couldn’t say he blamed him. 

‘The scanner says he’s fine, he’ll just need to rest up for a couple of days,’ Brax said.

‘Oh, so that’s bloody all right then, isn’t it!?’

The Doctor suddenly moaned. Jack looked down, just as the Time Lord came around. 

‘All right?’ Jack asked. ‘Know where you are and everything?’

‘Yeah, infirmary,’ the Doctor muttered. ‘Why can I hear yelling?’

‘Rose and Brax are having an argument. Well,  _ Rose  _ is having an argument, I don’t think Brax gets that he’s having an argument.’

‘Can you tell them to stop arguing?’ the Doctor moaned.

Jack stared at him.  _ ‘Please  _ don’t make me go out there.’

‘How would you like it if I shot  _ you  _ with a harpoon!?’ Rose screamed through the wall.

‘Fair enough,’ the Doctor muttered.

There was a pause as they both just listened to Rose and Brax’s argument. Jack decided to try and distract them. ‘Why didn't you let me go?’

‘What?’ 

‘After Brax shot you, you wouldn't let go of me,’ Jack explained. ‘You should've let go.’

The Doctor sighed. ‘I thought we already had this conversation. Don’t make me have the same conversation twice.’

‘Doctor, it doesn't matter. I can't die. You should've let me go. If you had you wouldn't have had to go through the pain.’

The Doctor looked straight at him. ‘Jack. Your life isn't dispensable. Please don't think of it like that.’

‘I'm happy to die to save you.’

‘Well, I'm not. Just because you can't die doesn't make your life meaningless.’

Jack frowned. ‘Is that what I'm doing?’

‘Yes.’

‘Oh,’ Jack muttered. ‘Sorry.’

‘Don’t worry,’ the Doctor dismissed. ‘You’re fine.  _ You  _ didn’t shoot me with a harpoon.’

‘Guess I didn’t,’ Jack supposed. ‘Can you drop me back home after this?’

‘Sure,’ the Doctor replied. 

Jack nodded. It was at that point they both realised that the argument had stopped. They looked at each other.

‘What me to check Brax is still alive?’ Jack wondered.

‘Yes, please.’

Jack got up, just as Rose came storming back into the infirmary. ‘That  _ complete  _ and  _ utter  _ ba …!’ She saw the Doctor, and her thunderous face turned into a beautiful smile. ‘Are you okay?’ she asked, moving to wrap her arms around him.

‘Never better,’ the Doctor replied, grinning back.

‘I can’t believe he shot you with a harpoon gun …’

‘It’s not the first time,’ the Doctor said. ‘Last time it was my birthday.’

Rose blinked. ‘Um, what?’

‘Theta, are you alright?’ Brax asked, stepping inside the infirmary.

‘Oh, great,’ the Doctor replied insincerely. ‘What’s the damage?’

‘It's mostly asphyxiation. I'm clearing out the poison. Just rest for a few days and you'll be fine.’

‘And the harpoon,’ Rose said loudly.

‘Oh, yes. It missed all of your internal systems. It may sting for a bit.’

‘You might sting for a bit in a minute,’ Rose grated.

‘I will, err, be in the console room, trying to get the water out,’ Brax said, and quickly left.

Jack looked at the Doctor and Rose. ‘I'll give you a hand,’ he said, shooting the Doctor a smile before leaving.

Rose kissed him. ‘Why didn't you tell me about the eel?’

‘Thought it best not,’ the Doctor confessed.

‘God, you prat.’

‘I get shot by a harpoon and I'm the prat?’ the Doctor wondered.

‘You're the one that dived into a lake that had a giant man eating fish in it,’ she pointed out.

‘Ah, yes. Sorry.’

‘Sorry,’ Rose repeated.

‘Yeah. Really sorry.’

She tried to looked angry, but it turned into a laugh. ‘Did you even find the Moirai?’ she asked.

The Doctor shook his head. ‘It was gone. I think someone was there before us.’

‘The black cloak guy?’

‘Probably. I had a vision though.’

‘What was it?’

‘You're not going to like it,’ the Doctor warned her.

‘What?’

‘It's in the Shadow Proclamation. Not the new one, the old one, just before it all went a bit, err, fudgy.’

‘Oh god.’

‘Yeah,’ the Doctor agreed. ‘I saw the courtroom and a condemned man. The riddle was, “where pale-faced ladies sit above their domain, one innocent man is condemned. Sentencing should not be passed, for this is not his end”. I think we’ve got to prove him innocent in court. I don’t know, something like a lawyer.’

‘You can’t though, you gotta rest up,’ Rose said, looking pointedly at the heaped dressings on his abdomen, and the nasal cannula delivering him both concentrated oxygen and something to neutralise the potency of poisonous air still in his lungs. 

‘I’m fine,’ the Doctor dismissed. ‘Just need a sleep and I’ll be as right as rain.’

‘You’re restin’ and that’s that,’ Rose told him. ‘I’ll do it.’

‘Really?’

‘I’ve seen Judge Judy and Perry Mason. Anyway. I’m bored.’

He smirked. ‘Okay. Jack wants to go back to Torchwood anyway, so we’ll stay there tonight, I’ll coach you on how the high court works and we’ll head out tomorrow.’

She beamed, and made to kiss him. ‘Wait,’ she interrupted herself. ‘We can’t wait. The guy has the key.’

‘This key needs time travel,’ the Doctor said. ‘Very precise time travel at that. They might have some form of time travel but it’s not going to be precise like the Tardis. They’ll probably be spending a few days bouncing around trying to get to the right point. We’ve got time. We’ve got the Tardis.’

‘All right, don’t get all high and mighty about the Tardis,’ Rose said, grinning. She kissed him fully. ‘Now get some sleep and let Brax and Jack do all the hard work, cleanin’ out the console room.’

* * *

Four hours later, the Doctor woke up, dared to get dressed, made sure his oxygen was full, and headed to the console room to inspect the damage. He found Jack, Brax, Rose and Leah all in it, holding buckets and towels. The console room’s water content had considerably lessened, and the TARDIS was purring contentedly again. 

‘Thete, you should be resting,’ Brax said.

‘Relax, Brax, I made myself portable,’ the Doctor replied, pulling out a box from his pocket that was attached to his nasal cannula, before checking the monitor.

Brax sighed heftily as Leah ran to her dad for a hug. He stooped, containing a groan to hug her back. 'You okay?’

'Yeah,’ she said. ‘That was scary.’

‘It was, wasn’t it,’ he agreed. ‘Still, we’re all fine, and at least the Tardis got a nice deep clean.’

She giggled. He kissed her, and checked the monitor. ‘All traces of the Moirai gone. Limax Minor 5 is stable.’

‘Have we been here before?’ Rose suddenly asked.

‘Don’t think so,’ the Doctor said, frowning. ‘Why?’

‘The name just seems familiar.’

‘We  _ have  _ been here,’ Jack said, looking at the Doctor. ‘Back when Leah was in hospital, those creatures tried to sell you to the Sycorax. This planet was the exchange point.’

Rose’s eyes widened. ‘Really?’

The Doctor frowned. ‘I don’t remember that.’

‘You  _ were  _ pretty out of it,’ Jack said. ‘Your arm was nearly a detachable part of you.’

‘Oh,’ the Doctor said, looking at the offending arm and flexing his fingers. He then looked back at the monitor and tapped some more buttons. ‘I’d better send a message to Zak and Leya.’

‘Why?’ Rose asked.

‘We need a press release from an indirect source,’ the Doctor explained, ‘to tell the universe that Lykas and Locas were real, and died on Limax.’

‘Are you sure that is wise? That is like saying King Arthur and Robin Hood were real people,’ Brax stated. ‘Besides, no one will believe it.’

‘He’s got a point,’ Jack said. ‘The skeletons got washed away.’

The Doctor shrugged. ‘Even if some don’t believe it, it doesn’t matter. With everything that’s bad in the universe – incurable diseases, warlord tyrants, simple-minded people killing innocent people on a daily basis for deeply evil, irrational motives – there’s nothing wrong with giving people a little hope that there are some heroes out there.’

Everyone fell silent, nodding.

‘We’ve got ‘em in here,’ Rose stated, hugging him. 

He grinned, his ego petted, and sent the message.


	9. Delayed Post-Regenerative Trauma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor explains Rose’s role for the next key. Brax searches for explanations as to his brother’s apparent strange behaviour.

‘Three, please,’ the Doctor was saying to Ianto as he took down his pizza order. ‘On one, I want anchovies, barbecue sauce, chillies, pineapple, peppers, sausage, and tuna. On the second I want olives, pepperoni …’

‘Slow down,’ Ianto protested.

‘Sorry. On the second, olives, pepperoni, tomatoes, ham, onions, and beef. The third, bacon, chicken, feta, chillies, sausage, pepperoni, peppers, and … Rose, what are the little yellow things called again?’

‘Sweetcorn?’ she wondered.

‘Yes! And sweetcorn.’

‘Anything else?’ Ianto wondered sardonically as everyone stared at the Doctor. 

‘Yeah. I want two tomato sauce dips, onion rings, and mozzarella bites. And then I want three pots of ice cream. All chocolate. And brownies, if they’ve got them.’

‘Jesus Christ,’ Jack muttered as Ianto walked away.

‘Hungry?’ Gwen supposed.

The Doctor shrugged. ‘Sort of.’

Rose decided to move on the conversation before she threw up at the prospect of the Doctor’s dinner. ‘So, the Shadow Proclamation court?’

‘Did you say Shadow Proclamation?’ Jack asked.

‘Shadow Proclamation?’ Leah asked, suddenly wide-eyed.

‘Shadow Proclamation,’ the Doctor confirmed. ‘Pre-corruption.’

‘Oh,’ Jack muttered, glancing at the others. Leah sank a little in her seat. 

The Doctor noticed her. ‘Leah?’ he asked.

The little girl looked at the group, then jumped off of her seat and ran out of the door.

’Rose, explain the Shadow Proclamation, I’ll find her,’ the Doctor said. Rose nodded. He used the table to get up, and made after Leah. 

He got out of the room as Leah disappeared into the TARDIS.

‘Leah!’ he shouted, a hand on his side. ‘Please don’t make me run!’

He reached the TARDIS, and heard sobbing. He entered, and knew almost immediately where she was. He moved around to the floor plate Brax has dislodged to get inside the systems, and saw her little feet poking out of the gap in the underbelly of the console.

He carefully climbed down, and trying not to moan, he stooped and climbed in. He maneuvered himself to  lie down on the bed of wires next to her. He looked at her, bathed in the ethereal golden glow that surrounded them. She was in tears.

‘What you hiding in here for?’ he asked.

'C-cos it's safe,’ she replied through her sobs.

‘Safe from what?’

'The Shadow P-Proclamation people.’

Then he knew exactly what this was about. After the Shadow Proclamation had become corrupt, they'd imprisoned him, Rose, and Leah. He'd been tortured. Leah hadn't seen that, but she'd seen the aftermath, and had developed PTSD. It was only a bit ago she'd stopped having nightmares and wetting the bed.

'It's okay. It's not going to happen again,’ he assured her. 'We’re visiting them at a point before they became corrupt. Anyway. You don't have to come. You can stay here and play with Kiana.’

'But I have to b-be brave, but I’m r-really, really scared.’

‘I know. But nothing bad is going to happen, I promise you.’

'They’ll h-hurt you like they d-did before.’

'They won't. This is a time before they corrupted. They're not interested in us.’

‘No?’

‘No.’

She sniffed. ‘I w-wanna come.’

‘Only if you want to. You don't have to, please remember that.’

'I g-gotta be b-brave to be a Time Lady. If I r-run away I’ll n-never be a T-Time Lady.’

‘Hey, I'm a Time Lord and I've spent most of my life running away,’ he said. 'Nothing’s going to stop you becoming a Time Lady. Certainly not this. Anyway, part of being a Time Lady is to be smart enough to know when to fight and when to run away. You can run away. You'll still be a Time Lady. The best Time Lady ever.’

‘Okay.’

‘So you're not coming?’

‘N-no.’

‘Okay,’ the Doctor said, and kissed her forehead. 

‘C-can I stay in h-here?’ she asked.

‘Of course you can. You can do whatever you want to do. Want to be on your own for a bit?’

‘Y-yeah.’

‘Okay. Please come and find me or Mum if you want to talk. Don’t bottle it up. We’ll be in Torchwood.’

'Okay.’

He smiled, and reached up to wipe a tear away from her cheek. 'Love you.’ 

'I love you too, D-Daddy.’

* * *

‘Is Leah okay?’ Rose asked when the Doctor re-entered a few minutes later.

He nodded. ‘Bad memories,’ he replied. 

Rose got up. 'I’ll go and see her.’

The Doctor quickly put a hand on her arm. ‘She wants to be alone. I told her to come and find us if she wanted to talk.’

'But …’

'She’s fine,’ the Doctor insisted. 'Now. Proclamation.’

'You're really doing this, aren't you?’ Gwen said, her chin in her hand.

'Don't think we get a choice,’ the Doctor mused. ‘Right. The High Court of the Shadow Proclamation you’ve seen. Big room, circular. It’s a law that the court always has to be filled, because the audience actually act as the jury. There’s a judge, who sits at a big, grand-looking desk. He controls everything. The one on trial stands in the middle. The witnesses sit in a witness box until they’re called. The lawyers each have a desk. The audience go in, then the witnesses, then the lawyers, then the judge, and then the one on trial. Everyone goes through a “truth field” when they enter.’

Rose frowned. ‘Is that the blue airport-security kinda thing I went through for your trial?’

He nodded. ‘It gives you a short, high concentrated dose of a kind of gas that inhibits certain areas of the frontal lobe. It stops you being able to form any lies. Once everyone’s in, it starts. The judge summarises the case, the defendant submits their plea, and then the prosecution have twenty-five minutes to heap on as much evidence as they can.’

‘Twenty-five minutes?’ Jack repeated.

‘Twenty-five minutes is all you get. There’s a ten minute break, and then the defence has twenty-five minutes. After that, the judge proposes guilty or not guilty, and a telepathic field, which monitors everyone’s thoughts and feelings, processes how the audience feel. The judge checks the readout, and the one on trial is prosecuted, or not prosecuted. Everyone shuffles out, ten minute break, and they go back in. The whole thing starts again.’

‘Twenty-five minutes,’ Jack repeated again disbelievingly.

‘Justice is swift,’ the Doctor replied, grinning. ‘In Universal time, they get through about twenty cases per day.’

‘That’s insane.’

‘It’s a big universe. So many criminals, so little time.’

‘So who’s the guy on trial?’ Rose asked.

‘Dunno,’ the Doctor replied.

‘What's he meant to have done?’

‘Dunno.’

‘So we've got twenty-five minutes to defend this guy, and we don't have the first clue about him.’

‘Nope.’

Rose sighed. ‘Where are you gonna be?’

‘In the audience.’

Rose’s eyes widened. ‘Wait, you're not with me?’

‘We’ll meet the defendant together before it starts, and I'll see you in the break between the prosecution and the defence,’ he tried to assure her.

Rose’s face fell. ‘Oh.’

‘Sounding like a bad idea now?’ the Doctor wondered, grinning.

‘No, I can do it,’ Rose insisted.

‘That's the spirit,’ the Doctor enthused.

‘You’ve gotta tell me exactly minute by minute how it works, though.’

‘Of course.’

* * *

The dinner arrived halfway through the Doctor’s explanations. Everyone watched, mesmerised, as the Doctor proceeded to dunk chocolate brownies into tomato ketchup, and then licked it all off. 

‘Got a craving?’ Gwen supposed.

‘You should try it,’ the Doctor replied. ‘I don’t know why I haven’t thought to put ketchup and brownies together before.’

Everyone silently retched.

‘So, have I gotta wear a special outfit or somethin’?’ Rose asked, trying to move the focus away from her husband. ‘Like lawyers wear those robes and wigs?’

He nodded. ‘You do have to wear a special outfit, but it's okay, I've got one that'll fit you in the Tardis.’

‘Why do you have an outfit of a Shadow Proclamation High Court lawyer in your wardrobe?’ Ianto wondered.

‘Role play?’ Jack suggested lewdly. ‘Anyway, you two do realise that you haven't asked for any time off?’

Everyone laughed.

‘Please may we have time off to save the universe?’ Rose asked, grinning.

Everyone laughed again, just as Brax entered. 

‘Delayed post-regenerative trauma,’ Brax told his little brother, interrupting the conversation to slam an ancient gallifreyan book next to him in a plume of dust that caused the Doctor to choke. ‘Causing vivid hallucinations and vomiting, to name a few.’

Everyone looked at him. The Doctor contained a sigh and ate the last of his ketchup-dunked brownie to open the book to the marked page. It was so dusty, his fingers were immediately coated in brown sticky stuff. 

‘Delayed post-regenerative trauma,’ the Doctor read aloud. ‘Up to five years after regeneration, some gallifreyans may feel the following effects: hallucinations, nausea, vomiting, headaches, dizziness, fainting, increased appetite, delusions, mood swings, increased energy, self-mutilation, and suicidal tendencies.’

‘Well, that turned dark,’ Jack muttered as everyone looked at the Doctor, sitting there with ketchup all over his mouth and fingers.

‘The gallifreyan affected may also have problems comprehending the real world. The condition is not curable, but in reported cases of this condition, the affected gallifreyan will usually resume normality after a period of three months,’ the Doctor continued. ‘In cases of severe delusion or if the gallifreyan is deemed a clear suicide risk, hospitallers should consider sectioning the affected gallifreyan for a minimum period of four months.’ The Doctor looked up at Brax, his eyebrow raised. ‘Really?’

‘This is everything you’ve been experiencing,’ Brax told him. ‘The visions; the whole underworld affair.’

‘You can’t be serious,’ Jack said.

‘I am. It is the only way we can explain what has been going on.’

‘Well, I dunno about you, but I haven’t had many suicidal tendencies recently,’ the Doctor said brazenly.

‘You did jump into a gaping chasm to near-certain death,’ Ianto pointed out.

‘Hey, I was saving the world,’ the Doctor protested. Everyone laughed except for Brax.

‘Theta, you are not taking me seriously,’ Brax said sternly.

‘And you’re surprised?’ the Doctor said airily. 

Brax sighed, frustrated. ‘A word, Theta,’ he said, stepping out of the room into the corridor.

The Doctor looked at his friends, rolled his eyes, and followed his brother into the corridor, closing the door behind them.

‘Not going to try and section me, are you?’ the Doctor wondered brazenly.

‘Frankly, I am finding it hard not to,’ Brax replied.

The Doctor held out his hands. ‘Come on then, it’s been a while, but I love the challenge of a strait jacket.’

‘Stop it, Theta,’ Brax snapped, annoyed. ‘Take this seriously and please listen to me for once.’

‘I  _ am  _ listening, Brax, but this is ridiculous. For once in your lives, stop finding logical excuses for things you can’t immediately understand. I had to learn that, and now it’s your turn.’

‘What’s going on?’ Rose asked, emerging from the room and closing the door behind her.

‘This is an issue between Theta and I,’ Brax said firmly, staring into his brother’s eyes.

‘Yeah, um, these walls ain’t soundproof,’ she informed him. 

‘Brax wants to section me, apparently,’ the Doctor told her.

Rose rolled her eyes. ‘Yeah, we heard.’

‘Well, this is nice, but can I go back to dinner, now?’ the Doctor wondered.

Brax gritted his teeth, grabbing his brother’s arm and yanking him forward. The Doctor yelped in pain. ‘Listen to me!’

Rose immediately pulled away Brax’s hand from her husband’s arm, furious. ‘Back off,’ she snapped.

‘Hey, hey, calm down, happy faces,’ the Doctor interjected, trying to project his good mood, but he was ignored.

‘I have diagnosed Theta, and now we have to protect him!’ Brax shouted.

‘What the hell is wrong with you!? He’s gettin’ the side effects of our baby and he’s got a lergri in him, of course he’s bloody throwin’ up and having visions.’

‘What on Gallifrey would you know, stupid human!’

Everyone, both in and out of the room, stilled, silent. The Doctor stepped in immediately. 

‘Brax, you didn’t mean that,’ the Doctor said firmly, all joking aside.

Brax’s face dropped. ‘No, I didn’t. Rose, I’m sorry.’

‘Oh, you bloody meant it,’ Rose growled. 

‘Rose, he apologised,’ the Doctor said firmly, and turned to his brother. ‘Brax, I get it. You’re scared. You’re scared this isn’t making sense. And you know what? Look at me. I’m scared too. I thought I was clever, but the Moirai is just completely beyond reasoning. I’m not suicidal, I’m not self-harming, I’m just feeling very,  _ very _ pregnant and I’m subject to visions of the future that I’m not asking to have. Maybe I did hallucinate, but maybe I didn’t. Maybe this just isn’t logical.’

Brax faltered.

‘Maybe you should go back to London for a bit,’ Rose suggested, her voice full of bile.

‘Rose, don’t –’ the Doctor tried, but Brax was already leaving. The Doctor quickly caught him up. ‘Brax.’

Brax turned to him, his eyes narrowed. ‘You've spent too long with humans, Theta. You've forgotten what it means to be a Time Lord.’

The Doctor stared at him. 'You don't mean that.’

'I think I do,’ Brax snapped. ‘Your wife has turned you into a mindless human.’

The Doctor continued to stare at him, his eyes burning. ‘Don’t you  _ dare _ insult her.’

‘Mixing up your logic and your emotions?’ Brax wondered, bile in his tone. ‘You never  _ could  _ separate those two, could you?’

‘Maybe I  _ like  _ it that way, Brax.’

‘You are blind, Theta Sigma. Blinded by the stupid humans you surround yourself with. You are not even  _ trying  _ to see it. You are just flapping around in your little human world, pretending to be one of them, only a little bit more clever. Doing all the primitive human things, like sleep and sex, and worse than that, you are insulting your roots by trying to make a mostly human girl into a Time Lady.’

‘What!?’

‘It’s not like Leah can ever become a Time Lady no matter how much you try and pretend,’ Brax spat. ‘Give it up.’

‘You’ve thought this all along, haven’t you!?’

‘Yes.’

The Doctor stared at him, absolutely furious and unable to believe what he was hearing. Brax gazed at him for a moment, before he stepped into the transmat.

‘Go on, leave!’ the Doctor snapped. ‘It’s all you’ve done for a thousand years, so why stop now!?’

Brax said nothing as the transmat activated, and he disappeared.

The Doctor didn’t linger. After Brax had left, he went straight into the TARDIS without even acknowledging the others.

* * *

Rose had heard the argument, felt his anger, and decided he needed company, so she followed him in. He was trying to shift the floor plate back into place, but his side was clearly causing him a lot of pain, and he couldn’t move it. He yelled in frustration, grabbing a stray spanner and hurling it at the grating with quite a clang. He then sank to his knees, holding his side, and started to cry.

‘Doctor?’ Rose tried.

He looked up, his eyes red. ‘L-leave me al-lone.’

She considered that, and decided against it. ‘Nah, I won’t,’ she said, moving forward. Carefully she knelt down beside him, pulling him into a hug. He gave up then, and al-but fell into her.

‘W-why am I c-crying?’ he gasped. 

‘Cos Brax is an arsehole and you’re feelin’ pregnant,’ she replied calmly. ‘It’s okay.’

There was a knock on the TARDIS door. ‘You two alright?’ Jack’s voice asked.

Rose looked at the Doctor, and knew exactly what he wanted her to do. She got up and went to the door, opening it only slightly so he couldn’t see inside. There was Jack, looking confused. 

She gave a reassuring smile. ‘We’re fine, I’ll come and get the food in a few minutes, yeah?’

‘Where’s the Doctor?’

‘He’s fine. Just give us a bit.’

‘Sure?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Okay, just gimme a shout if you need me,’ Jack said, and left. Rose closed the door and went back to her husband, who was still crying on the floor. She just held him until the tears ran out.

She knew him well enough to know that the last thing he wanted to do right now was discuss it. ‘Still hungry?’

He nodded.

‘I’ll get the food and we can finish off, yeah? How about a picnic in the botanical gardens like we used to? We could get Leah if she wants. Just us three, well, four,’ she said, gesturing down.

He smiled a little. ‘S-sounds good.’

She grinned and kissed his cheek, getting up.

‘Th-thank you,’ he suddenly said.

‘It’s okay. What are dumb human wives for?’ she joked.

He laughed as she left.


	10. Guilty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose attempts to defend an accused murderer in the Shadow Proclamation court.

Rose was feeling like a complete idiot as she walked through the Shadow Proclamation, the Doctor at her side, wearing the most ridiculous outfit she’d ever seen. 

She thought the Doctor had been joking when he had pulled it out of the wardrobe. It was a bulky robe-like thing with material that looked and felt like a Pac A Mac, coloured fluorescent green with tassels attached to the lapels. To add insult to injury, the hat was somehow even worse, like a brown felt version of Horatio Nelson’s bicorn. Her cuffs were thick and heavy, and made of some material that was severely irritating her skin.

‘Stop messing with the cuffs,’ the Doctor muttered to her as they walked to the court. They’d tried to see the defendant before proceedings, but the note had been passed to him, and he’d barely glanced at it before throwing it away. Therefore they were now walking into the court without a single clue who they were going to be defending, and what from.

‘It’s itchy!’ she protested. ‘And by the way, I haven’t seen anyone else wearin’ this outfit. You’re totally windin’ me up, aren’t you?’

‘What? On Earth the colour of royalty is gold, and here it's fluorescent green. It commands a lot of respect in this part of the universe,’ he informed her. ‘And relax. You look adorable.’

‘Adorable?’

The Doctor shrugged. ‘Yeah, adorable.’

She scowled at him.

‘What? Adorable’s good isn’t it?’ he asked, confused.

‘Yeah, if I’m a bloody puppy.’

‘Just relax. People respect the outfit,’ he insisted, just as they passed someone who dothed their cap to Rose, bowing slightly before moving on. ‘See?’

‘I still think you’re havin’ me on.’

The Doctor rolled his eyes, and changed the subject as they reached the truth field, which had a building queue of varying lifeforms. Clearly there was some kind of problem as a mechanic was working on some system. They took a place in line together.

‘Nervous?’ he wondered.

‘Yeah,’ she confessed.

‘You don’t have to do anything for the prosecution’s case, just listen and take it in, and think where the weak points in the case are,’ the Doctor said in an undertone to her. ‘Then we’ll meet at the halfway point and compare notes. The only things you’ll be asked in this half is to confirm your name and enter the plea.’

She nodded. ‘Okay,’ she said, and looked at the truth field. The queue was starting to move. 'Hey, if they've got this truth field, why even have trials?’

'What?’

'If the accused person can't lie, then just ask them if they did it,’ Rose pointed out. 'Be way quicker.’

'Wouldn't work.’

'Why not?’

'Well, imagine if you were a chef at a restaurant, and one night after eating there all of the customers got food poisoning. You'd think it was you, wouldn't you?’

'Um, I guess.’

'But what you don't know is that all of the customers had been to the same event earlier and all ate the same thing. That's where they got the poisoning, not your restaurant.’

'Oh.’

'People have a tendency to blame themselves for the worst things, whatever the species,’ the Doctor explained. 'The truth field measures guilt more than actual culpability.’

'Then why have it at all?’

‘It allows a completely fair trial,’ the Doctor responded. ‘The witnesses can’t lie.’

The queue began to move. They proceeded through the truth field together, coming to stand in front of two judoon, and two doors. Even though there was no threat and their aliases were fine and within the boundaries of the truth field, the judoon still made her a little nervous. She recalled with startling clarity what they’d done to her, Leah, the Doctor, and the entire universe. 

The Doctor brought her out of her thought trail by taking her hand in a gentlemanly manner, and pointing at a right-hand door. ‘Your entrance, milady,’ he said, bowing.

‘Thank you, Theta,’ she said, smiling at him.

‘As your personal aide, I shall be on hand in the court in a visible location,’ he continued, glancing briefly at the judoon. ‘I wish you the best for these proceedings, as always.’

Her smile increased. ‘Thank you, Theta,’ she said again. ‘I’ll see you later.’

‘I shall await that time impatiently, milady,’ he said, dipping a gracious bow before he turned and joined the crowd heading through the left-hand door. Rose took a breath, and headed through the right-hand door.

She emerged on the bottom level of the courtroom. She’d been here only once before, for the Doctor’s corrupt trial, where she’d been sitting in the witness box unable to do anything to stop what the Proclamation were doing to him. She’d almost forgotten just how unbelievably big it was - rings of seats stacking upwards for what seemed like forever. The Doctor had explained it to her in their preparations – it was a multi-dimensional space, folded in on itself many, many times. What looked like three floors was actually three hundred. He’d stated the entire court could hold a million people, and it was law that every seat had to be filled for every trial. The audience, which doubled as the jury, were randomly selected from across the known universe, and served as jury for a month at a time.

In the centre on the ground floor was the witness box to the side, which had a greasy, fat alien man in it. The judge’s desk seemed to stretch for three floors in front of her, currently empty. In the centre of the room was a circular-shaped platform where the defendant stood, on show to absolutely everyone at all times. They hadn’t arrived yet. To her left and to her right were two desks on diagonals - one for the prosecution, and the other for the defence. The prosecution was already there in the same vulgar robes she was in.

The entire court looked like it was made of carved wood, the floor included, but she knew it wasn’t. It was huge, breathtaking, and terrifying in equal measures. She was only reminded to move forward when the judoon walked past her, and she walked to the defence desk.

She took a seat and waited, scanning the audience to see if she could see the Doctor. To her utter delight, she found him almost immediately – mainly because he was waving quite enthusiastically to try and attract her attention. Their eyes connected. He beamed, and took his seat.

Getting a million people into one room didn’t take as long as Rose thought. Three minutes later, someone called for silence, and the entire court hushed as the hum of teleports died. Then, the judge entered from behind his desk. She recognised him as a shamboni. He was dressed in a variant of her robes, but far more glorious than her own attire. He took his seat. 

'The 119,253,987th case of the Shadow Proclamation is now in session,’ the judge said, his voice booming around the court. 'I am Judge Fahjo.’

‘I am Jarr Vinnag, prosecution,’ the man on the prosecution desk said.

Rose nearly forgot herself in the shock. ‘I’m … Lady Rose of Tardis,’ she stated finally.

‘Please bring out the defendant,’ the judge boomed.

Rose watched as, just like the Doctor’s trial, the judoon escorted out the defendant. It was a shockingly young boy. However, unlike the Doctor at his trial, he wasn’t roughed up. He was taken to the central platform. Harmless barriers erected and the boy sat in the seat, looking terrified. It dawned on Rose just how corrupted the Doctor’s trial had really been.

‘The defendant, prisoner number H7383, is accused of arson, with three counts of manslaughter, and he had intent to cause grievous bodily harm. How does the defendant plead?’

Rose realised everyone was looking at her. She stood up, taking a steely breath. ‘Not guilty, Your Honour,’ she stated.

The boy looked at her, wide-eyed and horrified. That obviously had not been his intended plea.

‘Not guilty accepted,’ the judge said. ‘Therefore, we shall proceed straight to a trial. Prosecution, you have twenty-five minutes to lay out your case. Proceed.’

‘Thank you, Your Honour,’ the opposing greasy-haired green alien said, his smile smarmy. ‘I shall call my first witness, Parr Tceen, head of the Tceen and Sons company.’

The greasy fat alien in a suit promptly stepped up to the box. He was smiling. There was something about his face Rose really didn’t like.

‘You are Parr Tceen, correct?’ the prosecutor asked.

‘Correct.’

‘And you are head of the Tceen and Sons company?’

‘Correct.’

‘Could you explain to us what sort of business you are involved in?’

‘We secure apprenticeships for young people.’

‘Thank you. Could you explain, in your words, exactly what happened on the day of the incident?’

‘Well,’ the man began, glancing at the boy in the holding area. Rose swore he was almost amused by the sight of him. ‘That morning, around an hour after my shift began, my receptionist informed me that she had a young man wanting to see me about an apprenticeship. I saw him, but unfortunately he wasn't suitable. I informed him of the rejection. He threatened me and my staff, and left the office. Ten minutes later, a fire began in the lower offices. I can only thank all that is holy that most of my staff and apprentices had not yet arrived. I would also like to add to the court that I am deeply saddened by the death of three individuals in the fire, and my thoughts are with their families.’

‘Also, as item two, we have a signed statement from the receptionist to confirm these events,’ the lawyer added. 

‘I can confirm this is in my possession, and matches entirely with the witness’ story,’ the judge confirmed to the entire court.

‘Thank you, Your Honour. Mr Tceen, you may step down.’

The witness left the box, and the Prosecutor went straight on with the next part. ‘Item three,’ he said, pulling out a sealed bag containing a piece of paper, and placing it in front of the judge. ‘This is a signed confession from the accused.’

Rose’s eyes widened, and looked up to where the Doctor was sitting. He raised his eyebrow. A signed confession?

‘It was signed on the day of the fire after the defendant’s arrest,’ the lawyer continued. ‘Witnessed by three officers.’

Well, Rose thought, looking at the boy. That wasn’t great. She looked at the Doctor again, he looked at her, and shrugged.

‘Item four. This is an extract from the CCTV footage outside Mr Tceen’s office. It clearly shows the defendant entering and exiting at the times Mr Tceen specified.’

The entire court watched a hologram in the centre of the room, clearly showing the correct time, and the boy coming and going.

Rose quietly sighed.

‘Item five. These are the defendant’s clothes on the day of the fire,’ the lawyer stated, holding up a sealed bag containing some clothes. ‘They have traces of the fuel used to start the fire on them, as confirmed by forensic scientists contracted by this court in the judge’s notes.’

‘I confirm that this is in my possession and is fully validated,’ the judge confirmed to the entire court.

‘Thank you, Your Honour. Item six,’ he continued, and Rose seriously wondered just how much worse this could get. ‘In the historical criminal records for the planet, the defendant is confirmed to have started a fire at the children’s home where he resided when growing up. Due to his age, he was not fully prosecuted, but the defendant clearly has a history of arson.’

Rose sank in her seat. It  _ had _ gotten worse.

‘As you can see, the defendant is proven to have been there at the time, with the fuel on his clothes, and a signed confession. He has a history of arson, and had a clear motive. I rest my case.’

He sat down. Rose blinked, surprised. She wasn’t sure, but not taking the full time and instead using seven minutes to lay out an entire prosecution case with such confidence could not be a good sign.

‘Thank you,’ the judge said. ‘The court will adjourn for ten minutes.’

* * *

Rose came out of the courtroom, feeling utterly deflated. She had absolutely no idea what she was supposed to do in the boy’s defence. The Moirai had said to prove him innocent, but Rose was now about 98 percent sure that, actually, the boy was completely and utterly guilty. Not only that, but he’d killed three people. Could she really defend a murderer?

The Doctor was nowhere to be seen, so she followed the signs and made her own way towards the room where the defendant was being held, genuinely wondering if it was too late to change her mind about wanting to do this. She entered the room, and saw the boy sitting there. Immediately she stopped.

It had been a little different looking at him from a distance, but now she was up close, she could see just how young he really was. He was fairly humanoid, with pale blue skin and messy black hair, and so very young. Looking at him, Rose couldn’t believe that this boy was even capable of committing murder.

He looked at her briefly, and then looked away again, dejected. ‘Why did you plead not guilty?’

‘Because that’s what you are,’ Rose told him.

‘I’m guilty,’ the boy insisted. ‘Can you change the plea?’

Rose frowned. Her gut was telling her that he was lying. Her gut was usually right. ‘Why would you wanna plead guilty when you’re not?’

‘I  _ am  _ guilty.’

‘I think you’re lyin’.’

‘That’s your problem. I’m guilty. That’s all there is to it.’

Rose sighed. ‘You got family?’

‘Change the plea,’ he said, ignoring her.

‘Mum, dad?’

‘They’re dead.’

‘Brother or sister?’

The boy sighed. ‘Sister.’

‘Swear on her life that you're telling me the truth.’

The boy hesitated. ‘I-I can't do that. 

‘Because you’re lyin’,’ Rose said. ‘Tell me what happened so I can help you.’

‘I don’t want you to help me.’

‘But you’re innocent,’ Rose said, confused. ‘You basically just admitted it. Why won't you let me help you?’

‘Go away.’

‘You gonna go to prison for somethin’ you didn’t do.’

‘I said go away.’

Before Rose could get any further, the door suddenly opened and the Doctor stuck his head in, looking a bit jittery.

‘You took your time,’ she said as he grabbed her arm and pulled her out into the corridor. ‘Whoa, what’s wrong?’

‘Security’s heavy. I've only got a bit so listen up. Take apart each piece of evidence piece by piece. Most of it is circumstantial, and they’re all lying. Do that first, then introduce new evidence.’

Rose frowned. ‘But the truth field …’

‘I didn’t think anything of it, but we saw someone messing with it earlier,’ the Doctor said. ‘I’ve just tested it. It doesn’t work anymore.’

‘Oh my god,’ Rose muttered. ‘We gotta tell someone.’

‘No,’ he said quickly, glancing around. ‘That’ll render the whole trial null and the boy will just come back at a later date. Use it to your advantage.’

‘What?’

‘You know you can lie. The prosecution might know, but they won’t be able to point out you’re lying without exposing themselves.’

‘Oh.’

‘The CCTV isn't valid. You can see the cut where the footage has been edited to put the boy in it. The lighting changes at frame 346, and 347 is a replicated frame.’

'Oh.’

'The lighter used to start the fire is a hugely common brand on that planet. All in all, the defendant is protecting someone. Find out who, and use it. Also,’ he showed her some pieces of paper. 'Grabbed these in the Tardis. They’ve all been validated. This is proof that Tceen’s business was haemorrhaging money, and he'd just taken out a new insurance plan just before it all got conveniently burnt down.’

'Oh my god,’ she said, looking at the paper. 'He did it?’

'Maybe, but not your job to prove that. It's your job to provide a credible alternative to your client,’ the Doctor said. 'You can't prove the boy not guilty, so try and suggest that maybe someone else is guilty.’

Rose nodded. 'Okay. But he's got a history of arson.’

'Find out the circumstances. It might not be what it seems. Start with what you know and work from there.’

‘But what about the confession?’ 

‘That's not admissible, because …’

Suddenly large Judoon hands clamped down on the Doctor's shoulders. Rose hadn't even noticed them.

‘No contact with the defence is permitted by the public!’ the Judoon grated.

'But I am aide to milady!’ the Doctor protested as the Judoon dragged him back away from Rose.

‘Why's it not admissible!?’ Rose cried, but the Doctor had already been dragged around the corner, his protests fading away. Rose sighed. ‘Great,’ she muttered, and walked back into the room where the boy was still sitting.

‘Right, you’ve got some explainin’ to do,’ Rose stated, slamming the pieces of paper onto the table in front of the boy. ‘I know you didn’t do it and I’m now pretty sure that Tceen had a part in it. ‘Why are you coverin’ someone who’s gonna happily put you in prison?’

‘What?’ the boy asked, staring at the paper. ‘What does it say?’

‘It says Tceen’s business was failin’ badly and he’d just taken out some insurance just before the fire. I think he did it. What I can’t figure out is who you’re protectin’ and why.’

‘It’s got nothing to do with you.’

‘No? I’m your lawyer and I need your help. If you don’t start tryin’ to defend yourself then you’re gonna go to Volag-Noc,’ Rose stated. ‘You know what that’s like, yeah?’

‘.... No.’

‘Someone I know who was completely innocent went there, and he got put in solitary confinement for twelve years. He went insane. For ages after he was saved he kept thinkin’ that he was in that cell and everythin’ around him was a hallucination. This one time, I found him sitting in the shower in his clothes, crying. The water was almost burnin’ him it was so hot. I asked him what was wrong and he said he was still in the cell. I told him he wasn’t, and he asked me why he was still so cold.’ She paused, trying not to cry. She’d never said that out loud to anyone before about exactly how damaged the Doctor was after his twelve years in Volag-Noc. It had been a long-standing secret between her and the Doctor. ‘It made him terminally ill. Then he died. You really wanna voluntarily go  _ there?  _ Go  _ there  _ for that greasy-haired idiot? _ ’ _

The boy hesitated. He looked scared at her words. ‘... Not for him.’

‘Then who for!?’ Rose demanded.

_ ‘Court will resume in two minutes,’  _ a disembodied voice said from overhead as the door opened and some judoon arrived. The conversation was over.


	11. The Verdict

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose lays out her case, and the Doctor takes a decision on what to do with the Moirai.

They passed through the truth field. 

‘I am a banana,’ Rose tried to say to test the truth field, but she found she almost seemed to forget the words as they came into her head. She tried again.  _ I can fly.  _ Again, she couldn’t quite manage to form the lie in her head. The truth field was fixed. She couldn’t lie.

Quite a large part of the plan that had formed in her head was immediately out the window as she was escorted back into court. She couldn’t see the Doctor in the courtroom despite her efforts. He was gone. The judoon had probably detained him, she realised. But that now meant she was on her own.

She gulped as the judge took his seat, and the court hushed. ‘Defence, you have twenty-five minutes to lay out your case. Proceed.’

Rose stood up. ‘Thank you, Your Honour,’ she said, trying not to let her voice shake as she felt the eyes of a million people on her. ‘Okay. Item one was – um, oh, yeah – it was the witness statement from, er, Mr Tceen. That’s … Well, it’s wrong cos it’s circumstantial, and doesn’t really, um, prove anything.’

Everyone stared at her. There was an awkward silence. Mr Tceen was grinning, the prosecution was smirking, and the boy was about to cry. 

No, Rose decided suddenly. She wasn’t going to be the one that messed up the hunt for the Moirai. The Doctor was counting on her, wherever he was right now.

‘Item one!’ she tried again, strong and loud. ‘I call Mr Tceen to the stand!’

Mr Tceen frowned. The prosecution looked confused. There was a slight hesitation.

‘Mr Tceen, you have been called, please make your way to the stand,’ the judge ordered. Mr Tceen quickly took his place.

‘Objection, Your Honour, this is not conventional …’ the prosecution began, but the judge cut him off.

‘It is perfectly acceptable for the defence to call whichever witnesses they see fit, regardless of which party has brought them, article 167 clause 3. Overruled,’ the judge drawled, and looked at Rose. ‘Proceed.’

‘Thank you, Your Honour,’ Rose said, trying not to smirk at the prosecution as he’d been earlier. ‘Mr Tceen. You said earlier that you saw my client that morning. You saw him leave the office, and said that he looked like he was in a bad mood. However, there’s absolutely no piece of evidence from you that would suggest that my client then set fire to your buildin’. How angry was he when he left you, exactly?’

‘He wasn’t that angry,’ Mr Tceen admitted. Rose blinked. She hadn’t expected that. Wait. The truth field. It had been re-established, and now he couldn’t lie as he’d had before. That was what the Doctor had meant. But she couldn't expose that he'd lied. She had to do this carefully.

'So he was a little angry, but not enough to burn down your buildin’, yeah?’

'I suppose not …’

‘So would it be fair to say he seemed a little annoyed, left, and you dunno what he did next?’

'I, well ... no.’

Mr Tceen was looking horrified. The prosecution's eyes were wide. They hadn’t been planning this.

‘Item one, the witness statement, is rendered as circumstantial and inconclusive,’ the judge announced. ‘I recommend the jury do not use item one as particularly significant in their deliberations.’

‘Thank you, Your Honour,’ Rose said.  _ Now  _ she was getting the hang of this. ‘Item two. Mr Tceen, can you describe your relationship with your receptionist?’

‘We’re close.’

‘How close?’

‘Very close,’ Mr Tceen replied, cringing badly at what was coming out of his mouth.

‘Were you having an affair?’ Rose asked. 

To her complete surprise, Mr Tceen immediately looked as though he’d been shot. ‘Yes,’ he mumbled.

Rose’s heart skipped a beat, and she swore she felt Theo have a little moment inside her. She’d been half-joking. ‘Um, well, does this means your receptionist had an interest in statin’ exactly what you’d asked them to state?’

‘Yes …’

‘This renders item two of the written witness statement as null and void,’ the judge declared. ‘Discount this item from your considerations, jury.’

‘Jesus Christ,’ Rose mumbled under her breath, before straightening up. ‘Thank you, Mr Tceen, you may leave the stand.’

He did, staggering slightly and clearly ashamed.

She mentally flicked through the pieces of evidence in her head. She could do the CCTV, next. ‘Item four was the footage from the cameras outside Mr Tceen’s office. Your Honour, can we review the footage?’

‘Yes,’ the judge said, and did something technical behind his desk. Seconds later, the hologram appeared as before. As the footage played, Rose spoke over it, ‘this footage allegedly shows my client as enterin’ and exitin’ the office just five minutes before the fire.’ The footage ended. ‘Your Honour, may we take a look at frame 345?’

They did. All seemed very in order – the boy was just about to enter the corridor to the office. Rose quietly prayed that the Doctor had seen it correctly. ‘If we could go forward one frame, please?’

It was so subtle Rose almost didn’t catch it, but the Doctor had been right. As the boy appeared in the picture heading to the office, the lighting changed. ‘If we could flash back and forth between 345 and 346 for a moment, so the jury can see the lighting change?’

They did. It became exceptionally obvious very quickly.

‘This change in light suggests that this piece of footage of the boy enterin’ and exitin’ the office is taken from another time of day,’ Rose stated. ‘Mr Tceen stated he saw him that mornin’, but maybe it wasn’t five minutes before the fire.’

‘Objection!’ the prosecution suddenly interrupted. ‘Your Honour, you cannot disregard a piece of evidence based on a slight lighting change!’

‘Hold on, mate, I haven’t finished yet,’ Rose said.

‘Overruled,’ the judge said. ‘Please continue, Lady Rose.’

‘Thank you, Your Honour,’ Rose replied. ‘If we could now advance to frame 347, and flash between 346 and 347?’

The Doctor had been right again. 

‘Here you can clearly see the replicated frame,’ Rose told the jury. ‘Which is a hallmark of rushed editing. I put it to the jury that this piece of footage has been faked. Indeed, my client visited the office, but when that was is inconclusive. Not to mention that the footage was the only thing that wasn’t validated by the judge.’

‘Objection!’ the prosecution yelled.

‘Overruled,’ the judge drawled, not interested in what the prosecution had to say. ‘Item four, the CCTV, is now declared as null and void. It is not proof that the prosecution has tampered with it, but it certainly cannot be used as evidence. Jury, you are to disregard this item in your deliberations immediately. Defence, proceed.’

Rose was shaking slightly. Her adrenaline was sky high. It seemed to be going well, but she hadn’t won this yet, she reminded herself.

‘Item five,’ she continued, ‘was the traces of lighter fluid found on my client’s clothes. However, I put it to the court that this ain’t proof that he started the fire. That lighter fluid is a very common brand on that planet. There are a million and one reasons he could have had lighter fluid on him. Item five is completely circumstantial.’

Now, she’d hit the brick wall. She had to sort out item three, the confession, and item six, the history of arson, and she had no Doctor cards left to play. They were the strongest pieces of evidence the prosecution had. There was only one way she could start to tackle those. ‘I call to the stand the defendant.’

There was a ripple of murmurs from the entire court. She got the impression that this wasn’t normal.

The prosecution looked infuriated. ‘Objection!’ he yelled. ‘This is in breech of High Court law!’

‘This  _ is  _ unconventional,’ the judge agreed, ‘however, it is not explicitly stated in the laws of the High Court of the Shadow Proclamation that the defendant cannot be called to the stand. Proceed.’

More murmurs. Rose watched, her heart pumping at ten to the dozen as the boy was escorted by an armed judoon guard to the stand. She had no idea what she was about to ask. Start with what she knew, the Doctor had said.

‘Your parents are dead, and you lived in a children’s home, yeah?’

‘Yes.’

‘When did they die?’

‘When I was four,’ the boy replied.

‘You have a sister, don’t you?’

‘Yes.’

‘Is she younger or older than you?’

‘Older,’ the boy replied. He was keeping it short, Rose realised. He wasn’t going to give up anymore information than he had to.

‘Are you close?’

‘Yes.’

‘Have you left the children’s home, now?’

‘Yes.’

‘When?’

‘We were thrown out two years ago.’

‘Where have you been living?’

‘On the street.’

‘Objection!’ the prosecution interrupted yet again. ‘This is completely irrelevant.’

‘Lady Rose, please get to the point,’ the judge agreed.

Rose swallowed. ‘I’m sorry, Your Honour,’ she said. ‘Okay. It’s true you have a history of arson, yes?’

‘Yes,’ the boy muttered, his eyes darting all over the place. He was terrified.

‘Could you explain to the court exactly what occurred?’

‘Please, no,’ the boy muttered, tears in his eyes.

‘You have been asked a question, defendant,’ the judge reminded him.

The boy swallowed. ‘... The investigation ruled that after I was caught shoplifting, the keeper of the children’s home punished me, and in revenge that night I went to the basement and started a fire that destroyed half of the building before the emergency services had it under control.’

He was picking his words carefully, Rose realised. He wasn’t lying, but he was very much avoiding the truth. He was using the investigation’s ruling, and not using himself. ‘What was your punishment for shoplifting?’

‘I was beaten and locked in the silence room,’ the boy replied.

‘What’s that?’

‘It’s a little room where you’re not allowed to talk or move, or you get electrocuted.’

The entire court had a reaction to that. Rose’s breath caught in her throat a little. She knew enough about the universe now to know any civilised planet that adhered to the Shadow Proclamation would not be doing that. ‘But that’s illegal in universal law.’

‘I don’t know,’ the boy replied, shrugging.

She felt a bit ill, unconsciously resting a hand on her belly where Theo dwelled. ‘Did the original investigation take into account the abuse you received before the fire?’

‘No,’ the boy muttered.

Another wave of reaction from the crowd.

‘So they didn’t ask you anythin’? You weren’t interviewed, or someone who represented you wasn’t interviewed?’

‘No.’

‘So the original investigation wasn’t that thorough, was it?’

‘I guess not,’ the boy murmured.

‘Item five is declared null and void,’ the judge stated. ‘The original investigation of the fire was clearly not carried out in accordance with basic universal law. History of the boy’s arson cannot be validated.’

Rose still felt a little sick at what she’d inadvertently unveiled, but she had to continue. She still had the confession to deal with. She had no idea how she was supposed to disprove it, and it was the strongest piece of evidence available.

‘Item three is the signed confession,’ she stated for the court. ‘How long after the fire did you sign the confession?’ 

‘Um, a few hours, I guess.’

‘You guess?’

‘I dunno.’

‘Why not?’

‘I didn’t know when I was signing it.’

‘Objection, this is constructing nothing,’ the prosecution interrupted.

‘Lady Rose, if you have nothing significant to say about item three, I suggest you move on,’ the judge ruled.

‘No, but the confession is inadmissible,’ Rose said quickly.

‘Then prove it or move on,’ the judge declared.

Rose bit her lip. ‘Wait. It’s inadmissible because …’

‘Because?’ the judge wondered.

‘Because …’ She looked at the boy, trying desperately to find why the Doctor had said it was inadmissible. ‘Because .... Oh my god,’ Rose muttered as everything came together in her head. He never read anything she’d given him. He was an orphan in an abusive children’s home. He didn’t seem to know when he’d signed the confession. It only meant one thing. ‘It’s inadmissible, because … Your Honour, may I have item three?’

‘I don’t see how this is relevant,’ the judge stated.

‘It is. Can I have it?’

The judge paused for a moment, and then gestured for her to receive it. Reluctantly, the prosecution handed over the bag with the paper confession inside. Rose walked to the stand, and gave it to the boy. ‘Please read this,’ she said.

The boy looked at her. His eyes were wet and wide. ‘I can’t,’ he croaked.

‘You have been asked to perform a duty, you will enact it,’ the judge told him.

‘But I can’t.’

‘Why not?’ Rose asked keenly, tensed.

‘Because … I can’t read.’

The court gasped. The boy looked utterly ashamed, his head in his hands. 

‘Objection!’ the prosecution screamed. ‘This is ridiculous!’

‘Overruled!’ the judge boomed. ‘Prosecution, if you overrule without reason one more time you will be held in contempt. Defence, proceed.’

‘Thank you, Your Honour,’ Rose said, and looked at the boy again. ‘At any point when you were signin’ the confession were you told what you were signin’?’

‘No,’ the boy said. He looked very, very pained.

‘So you were just told to sign it?’

‘... Yes.’

‘So in fact you had no idea you were signin’ a confession.’

‘No.’

‘Item three is rendered null and void,’ the judge stated. ‘Jury, you will disregard the signed confession in your deliberations.’

Rose glanced at the prosecution. He looked as though he were about to explode. She held back a smirk, and turned back to the boy. ‘Thank you, you may step down. Now, I introduce a new piece of evidence. Item seven. This,’ she held it up to the court the clutch of paper the Doctor had given her as the boy was escorted back to the platform. ‘Is the account of Mr Tceen’s company, clearly showing his business was failing badly and losing money. This is accompanied by item eight, a huge insurance policy Mr Tceen took out just a week before the building burnt down.’

‘I can confirm these documents have been validated,’ the judge stated.

The prosecution was bubbling over in seeping hatred and anger for what she was doing, but he couldn’t say a word. She tried not to raspberry him as she checked the time. ‘The defence rests,’ she stated, just fifteen minutes in.

‘Thank you, both prosecution and defence,’ the judge said. ‘I remind the court that for the prosecution, item one is inconclusive. Item two is inadmissible. Item three is inadmissible. Item four inadmissible. Item five is circumstantial. Item six is void. For the defence, items seven and eight are validated. I will measure the court’s feeling of the defendant's culpability within the next ten seconds.’

The silence that followed was terrifyingly long. Rose gritted her teeth, crossed her fingers, and stared at her desk. She was  _ sure  _ she’d done enough, but the doubt was ever creeping ...

‘The jury finds the defendant …’

Rose unintentionally squeaked.

‘... Not guilty.’

Rose had to seriously stop herself from jumping up and down and whooping with joy. The crowd exchanged a few words, before they were hushed.

‘Thank you to the jury, and both the prosecution and defence,’ the judge said. ‘Never before in my career have I come across a case such as this. I commend the defence for using the justice system to its full effect in the name of fairness. As High Judge of the High Court of the Shadow Proclamation, I will postpone all activity in this court as I reflect on these events very carefully over the next few weeks, until I am satisfied that this court acts with the greatest of justice and fairness for all those involved in criminal prosecutions. Furthermore, I shall be ordering both this case and the case of the fire at the children’s home to be explored by the Shadow Proclamation Internal Corruption Unit, and I issue a new investigation into the Tceen building fire to commence immediately. The defendant has been found not guilty, and is allowed to go free.’

The boy staggered slightly as finally the judoon guns were off of him. It was over. He looked at Rose, but he still looked so despaired. And Rose had worked out why.

Both fires had been caused by his sister, both in revenge for ills done to her little brother. He had been trying to save her. Now surely she would be condemned.

That made the victory somewhat bittersweet.

* * *

She met the Doctor outside the truth field. He was beaming at her, overjoyed as he met her in a hug. ‘Well done!’

‘Did you see it?’

‘Of course, I did, I wasn’t gonna miss that,’ he assured her. ‘You were amazing.’

‘What happened to you?’

‘I was briefly arrested, then they realised it was a waste of time, but then I couldn’t get back in,’ the Doctor told her. ‘But I saw all of it on the monitor. ‘ His eyes drifted to a point behind her. ‘Jeeko,’ he said. Rose looked, and saw the boy she’d been defending emerging from the truth field. She immediately felt a little embarrassed that she hadn’t even known his name.

Jeeko stopped, and looked at them. He didn’t seem to know what to say.

‘We know it was your sister who set the fires,’ the Doctor said.

Jeeko’s eyes welled up again.

‘Hey,’ the Doctor said. ‘She’s ill, that’s all. Now she’s going to be able to get the help she needs to overcome it.’

‘I … guess,’ Jeeko muttered.

‘This case is going to be a landmark,’ the Doctor told him. ‘You were very nearly the victim of a huge miscarriage of justice. Use this and move forward. Life doesn’t have to be alleyways and abuse. You’ve got the entire universe at your feet.’

Jeeko nodded. ‘Yeah, I will.’

‘Just enjoy life, yeah?’ Rose advised him. ‘Do what you wanna do. Don’t let anythin’ stop you. It’s not like you can’t learn to read.’

Jeeko straightened up, looking a bit more positive. ‘Yeah, you’re right. And … thank you.’

‘It’s okay,’ Rose said. 

‘But … I don’t have anything to pay you with,’ Jeeko murmured, bowing his head to the ground.

‘I’m not interested,’ Rose told him. ‘I want you to do what you want to do with your life, and be really successful. You can pay me back by havin’ a really good life, okay? You’ll be fine, your sister will get better. Just believe that.’

He looked up again. ‘... Thank you,’ he repeated, but didn’t look too happy about that. He suddenly seemed to have a thought, and dug inside his pocket. He pulled out a shining blue ball. A piece of the Moirai, Rose realised immediately as Theo reacted inside her. She even staggered a little, and the Doctor subtly caught her. ‘This is all I have. It’s a family heirloom. I want you to have it. Please, I don’t have any use for it. I insist you take it. It just glows. I dunno if it does anything good.’

Rose glanced at the Doctor. She’d almost forgotten that was the reason why they were here in the first place. He nodded at her, and he carefully extended his right hand so as not to have a vision, taking it. ‘We’ll take very good care of it.’

* * *

Back in the TARDIS infirmary, Rose was on a high as she finally was able to throw off the heavy itchy robes, leaving her in her underwear as her husband applied itching cream on the rashes that had formed. ‘God, that feels great not wearin’ that anymore,’ she sighed as he rubbed the cream onto her.

He grinned as she instinctively kissed him. ‘Do you want me to tell you what you’ve done today?’

‘Saved a kid, found a bit of the Moirai?’ she supposed.

‘You’ve caused three landmark moments in universal history and brought down an entire planet’s government in fifteen minutes, you know.’

Rose frowned. ‘Um, I did?’

‘You called the defendant to the stand. No one has ever done that before at this point in universal history. That judge changes the methods of the High Court because of this case. You’ve revolutionised the entire court system. From this point onwards, whole cases have turned on the weight of the evidence the defendant has given. They discovered many people were wrongly prosecuted and they were set free.’

‘Um, I just saw it on Crown Court,’ Rose admitted, blushing slightly. 

‘You’ve also caused a thorough investigation into children’s homes,’ he said. ‘From now, their processes are more closely monitored and many people are prosecuted for child abuse.’

‘Oh.’

‘And, you’ve secured the release of one of the most revered people in universal history.’

‘What?’

‘The boy,’ the Doctor clarified. ‘That judge takes him under his wing and he learns to read and write, studies Law, trains under that judge, and over his career he presides over some pretty pivotal cases. He’s known to be one of the best judges who ever worked in the Shadow Proclamation High Court.’

‘Oh.’

‘Not only that, but a follow-up investigation into legal processes and plutocracy on his home planet, which is part of Tceen’s world, causes the government to collapse and be replaced by a much fairer system.’

‘Oh my god,’ Rose muttered, stunned. ‘But I was makin’ most of it up.’

The Doctor grinned. ‘The Shadow Proclamation is still in its infancy at this point in time. You’ve just evolved the system. Because of this system, many planets sign up to the Shadow Proclamation and universal law. You’ve created a fairer and more just universe. Well, for the time being. You’ve also saved Jeeko’s sister. In an alternative timeline, after Jeeko was sentenced she committed suicide. Now, she’s arrested for the crimes, serves a sentence through diminished responsibility owing to mental health issues caused by the children’s home. But she gets treatment, overcomes it, is released, and uses her brother’s status to advocate awareness of mental health problems and the effect of systematic abuse.’

‘So it’s not bad for her?’

‘No,’ the Doctor replied. ‘You’ve changed the universe for trillions of people. Not bad for fifteen minutes, eh? The universe owes you a debt.’

She laughed again. ‘This is such an advert for Judge Judy.’

He laughed.

‘This is what the Moirai is then, isn’t it?’ Rose mused, staring at the sphere they’d left on the table. ‘It’s takin’ us on a journey through time and space to … well, change history?’

‘It looks that way, yes,’ the Doctor said. ‘Or, rather, to make history happen as it should. Crucial moments that wouldn’t have happened otherwise. These are all fixed points. We’re just making them happen.’

‘Somethin’ I don’t get, though.’

‘What?’

‘Has it … Has it occurred to you that all the places we’re goin’ for the Moirai are all places we’ve been before?’

The Doctor winced a little. ‘It did cross my mind.’

‘It’s weird. It’s like … I dunno,’ she said, sighing a little. ‘It’s like … we were always destined to do this.’

The Doctor didn’t answer that. ‘Do you know the significance of the word moirai?’

‘No?’

‘It’s greek. It means “apportioners”. Divide and share. But you know what else?’

‘What?’

‘In greek mythology, each mortal was said to have a life thread. The Moirai controlled them, able to cut the thread to end a life.’

Rose frowned. ‘No, wait, but I know that. That’s …’

‘Exactly.’

‘The Fates ...’

‘Yes.’

Rose thought about that. ‘Okay, that’s freaky.’

‘Isn’t it just,’ the Doctor muttered, and pulled back. ‘Cream all on,’ he said, changing the subject. ‘Back to Torchwood, I suppose.’

‘Thanks,’ she said, and cupped his face in both her hands. She ran her hands down his neck and under the collar of his shirt, her thumbs resting on the dip of his collar bones.

He gestured at his nasal cannula and harpooned side. ‘If you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking, then I’m not exactly going to be fantastically energetic.’

She giggled. ‘Nah,’ she said. ‘Let’s go back to Torchwood and you can tell everyone I changed the universe.’

He laughed. ‘Yes, milady.’

* * *

Everyone had gathered in the meeting room to hear what had happened at the Shadow Proclamation court. Rose has boasted her part as the Doctor had simply sat there, rolling the moirai fragment along the table with his fingers, deep in thought. He hadn’t yet used it to have a vision.

'Doctor?’ Rose suddenly interrupted his thoughts. 

He looked up to find everyone staring at him. 'Pardon?’ he asked. 

'I was just sayin’ how you haven't looked at the next vision yet.’

'Ah,’ he muttered, and took a deep breath. 'The thing is … I'm not going to.’

'What?’ Ianto asked, surprised.

'But you've gotta finish now,’ Jack said. 'We're nearly halfway through.’

'We've got this fragment, and we can be very sure due to where it's come from that this other person hasn't got anywhere near it. Without this fragment, they don't know where to look next. And you know what?’ He looked up at Jack. 'Where's your gun?’

Everyone looked at each other, confused. 

'What the hell you want my gun for?’ Jack asked.

‘Just give it here,’ the Doctor said.

Frowning, Jack pulled out his gun from its holster and pushed it down the table to the Doctor. He caught it, checking it was loaded and the safety was off. ‘Cover your ears,’ he advised the others. They did. He then threw the fragment towards a panel of bulletproof glass away from the crowd, and shot at it in mid-air. It shattered, and everyone jumped in alarm as the bulletproof glass splintered and the bullet dropped just a few metres beyond it.

‘Jesus!’ Jack cried.

‘You just destroyed it,’ Rose realised.

‘Good shot,’ Ianto complimented.

The Doctor put the safety on and pushed it back towards Jack across the table, who caught it, stunned.

'We don't see it, the people chasing don't see it. We can stop this dead in its tracks and not keep playing this seriously dangerous game,’ the Doctor said.

‘And you had to shatter one of my windows to do it,’ Jack supposed in a mutter.

‘It’s over,’ the Doctor stated, standing up. ‘No more Moirai. Not for us, or for anyone else.’

‘But it was fun,’ Leah protested.

‘I agree,’ Gwen concurred.

‘Well, it’s over,’ the Doctor stated. ‘And I’m happy. Some questions have answers that the universe can do without.’


	12. Maternity Support Stockings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor gets to grips with new pregnancy symptoms before a terrifying experience forces him to reconsider his own reality.

A few weeks later, and Doctor had  _ really  _ started to feel unwell. 

He’d already been dealing with the fresh onslaught of pregnancy symptoms as they entered the final week of the second trimester. He had backache, leg cramps, constipation, he couldn’t sleep, he’d put on weight, and his feet had become so swollen he could no longer fit them comfortably in his converse. He was hating every single minute of it. 

He kept having to remind himself of who he was. He was part of one of the most legendary races ever to have lived. He could defeat armies and save entire civilisations. He was the Doctor. He was a Time Lord. He was completely undefeated. So it was quite, quite embarrassing, when because of Theo pressing down on his wife’s bladder, every time he sneezed he wet himself, usually with everyone looking at him.

He was off of oxygen therapy, but his wound from the harpoon still hadn’t cleaned up. When they’d woken up on a Tuesday morning he’d felt absolutely terrible. Rose had obligingly made him breakfast in bed, but very soon it became apparent that he was quite ill. After she’d got dressed and he still hadn’t moved much, she immediately launched in Mother Hen mode.

‘You shouldn’t be this sick,’ she told him resting a hand on his forehead. ‘You’re hot.’

‘Thanks,’ he mumbled, gazing at her through sunken eyelids.

‘Maybe you’ve caught somethin’,’ she said, resting his fingers on his neck to check his glands. ‘Your glands are swollen. I’ll call Martha, yeah?’

‘I’m fine,’ he insisted.

She rolled her eyes and pulled up his shirt to check his wound. She peeled back the bandages, and gasped.

‘What?’ he asked.

‘Um, yeah,  _ definitely  _ callin’ Martha,’ she said, and left to find a phone.

He struggled to sit up. He looked down, and saw the wound. It was swollen, red, and oozing pus. He was infected. 

He sighed. He needed to summon up the courage to get to the Infirmary.

* * *

Martha arrived twenty minutes later to check him and Rose over.

'Theo is perfect, but you're definitely infected,’ Martha said the the Doctor. 'Maybe your body is so exhausted from the pregnancy it's struggling to cope with this. Plus all the medication you're on probably doesn't help.’

‘Probably,’ the Doctor agreed. 'Also …’ He looked at Rose. ‘D’you remember when that giant Creipian Maneating Spider appeared in the second console room?’

Rose immediately stiffened, her eyes wide with fear at the very memory of walking in to find the nine foot wide spider poised on the time rotor. ‘Oh god. Yeah?’

‘Remember I shot it with a harpoon gun?’

‘Yeah?’

‘It was the same harpoon gun Brax shot me with. It wasn’t cleaned.’

‘Oh. So … what exactly?’

‘It plunged straight into the poison sac of the spider. It was coated in poison.’

‘You’re poisoned?’

‘No, I’m immune to the poison, but it might have contributed to the infection,’ he said. 

'So what do we do?’ Rose asked.

'All the standard things, keep it clean and dry, you know,’ Martha told them. ‘And  _ try _ to rest. Knowing your biology, you’ll be fine. I'll tell Brax for you.’

‘Don't bother,’ the Doctor said immediately.

Martha paused, frowning. ‘Are you two okay? You haven’t spoken for weeks.’

The Doctor smiled at her. Rose knew him well enough to know it was fake, but Martha wouldn’t know. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll tell him myself.’

'Okay,’ Martha said, convinced. 'Anything else I can do?’

‘Nah, thank you.’ 

‘Okay, I'll be off then,’ she said. ‘Rose,  _ please _ make sure he rests.’

She giggled. ‘Thanks for rushin’ over.’

‘It’s fine. Call again if you need anything.’

‘Why does no one have any faith in me?’ the Doctor moaned as Martha left. She giggled again and kissed him, just as Jack entered and saw them. 

‘What’s wrong with him now?’ he asked.

‘His harpoon wound has an infection,’ Rose replied.

‘Always something with you, isn’t it?’ Jack said, rolling his eyes. ‘You all right?’

‘I’ll be fine,’ the Doctor said. 

‘I got you a present,’ Jack said, and threw something in a bag at him. ‘Since you’ve been moaning about your swollen feet.’

The Doctor opened it and pulled out what was inside. Rose immediately giggled.

'Um, thank you for getting me some tights?’ the Doctor supposed.

‘They’re maternity support socks,’ Jack told him. 'Compression.’

The Doctor pulled the socks out of the packaging. They were striped and multicoloured. 'Okay. Thanks,’ he said, entirely seriously.

'You're actually gonna wear 'em?’ Rose asked, bemused.

He pulled his leg up to put them on. 'At this point I'm willing to try anything.’

* * *

The Doctor had to swap his clothes for something looser due to the weight he'd put on, opting for some loose-fitting smart black jeans with a t-shirt. On the plus side, after Jack's gift, he was now able to fit his feet inside his converse. He checked himself in the mirror, and immediately regretted it. He looked as awful as he felt – sweaty, bloated, and generally just a complete mess.

Rose had tried to get him to stay in bed and sleep it off, but he didn't do bed bound very well. So instead, he and Rose agreed that for the next few days at least, things would be low key for him to give his body a chance to recover. So he decided that he was going to do exactly what he'd been intending to do – a birthday treat for Leah, seeing as he'd missed her fifth.

The regeneration simulation machine wasn't quite finished yet, but he decided to show her it anyway. Jack covered Leah’s eyes and guided her into the room.

'Remember it's not quite finished yet,’ the Doctor told her. 'So don't get  _ too  _ excited when you see it.’

'I wanna see,’ Leah moaned, Jack's hands still covering her eyes. The Doctor nodded to him and to Rose, and he promptly pulled away his hands.

Leah blinked a few times to focus, saw the machine, and frowned. She clearly had no idea what it was. ‘Um, thank you?’ she supposed politely.

‘It’s a regeneration simulation machine,’ the Doctor told her. Immediately she laughed with delight, running up to the machine.

‘Can I have a go? Please?’ she asked keenly, looking at her dad with bright, wide eyes.

‘I told you, not quite yet, I need to do a test run to make sure it’s safe,’ the Doctor replied. ‘But it’s here and you’ll be able to use it very soon.’

She beamed and ran back to him, throwing her arms around him for a hug. ‘Thank you!’

‘You’re welcome,’ he said, grinning. ‘Late happy birthday!’

She giggled and kissed his cheek.

'Thank Uncle Jack too, he helped,’ the Doctor said. 

Leah ran to her uncle and hugged his midriff. 'Thank you, Uncle Jack!’

'You're welcome,’ he replied, laughing.

‘In the meantime, I thought we could go somewhere for your birthday,’ the Doctor said as she pulled back. ‘Where do you want to go?’

‘Um, anywhere I want?’

‘Anywhere,’ the Doctor confirmed.

‘Err … um … err … um …’ she repeated over and over, pulling on her hair as she thought and thought, as if it was one of the most impossible questions she’d ever been asked in her life. ‘Um … um …’

‘Anytime today,’ the Doctor teased.

‘Um, can we go to the zoo?’

‘The Universal Zoo?’

‘Yeah!’ she said.

* * *

Jackie was intrigued by the premise of the Universal Zoo, so with Tony at school, she came along. They discovered when they landed that it was dress-up day, so they immediately went back into the TARDIS bar the Doctor, and re-emerged twenty minutes later in full costume. Leah was now a princess with a tiara and a wand, Rose was a hippy, and Jackie was now Cruella de Vil. Rose forced the Doctor into a stetson so he at least slightly looked like a cowboy. They then began their day out, with Leah leading the way.

They visited the Pluxo penguins, famed for their ability to backflip. They observed the yellow spotted ants, all able to dance in synchronicity. The black kandeer were elephant-like mammals that were so large they made the ground tremble when they stepped. They petted the docile brown bakons of the Hax region, whose colours changed according to the mood of the person petting them. Leah’s turned a bright purple to signify contentedness, Rose’s a yellow for happiness, Jackie’s a green for intrigue, and the Doctor’s a brown to reflect his current physical condition. They watched the bronze-tailed gigahaws, where monkey-like animals naturally and spontaneously performed some impressive magic tricks, and saw the Zoloris paka-pakas performing their famed ritual, surrounding a birthing paka-paka mother in a circle to protect her.

They also visited the old favourites - the invisible topiazaries, which were completely invisible, and the combustible monkeys, who exploded on the sight of strangers and reformed from the ash when no one was looking.

‘The entire planet is a zoo,’ the Doctor was explaining to Jackie as they ate lunch. He was already halfway through his second meal. ‘Every animal is living in its natural habitat. All we’re doing is teleporting around visiting each continent. It’s meticulously planned so the planet’s animals live in complete harmony within the exact climate they came from, and are able to live completely freely within their piece of the planet. Many of these animals are the last of their race and would be extinct without being brought here.’

‘Last time we came here there were loads of cages,’ Rose said thoughtfully.

He nodded. ‘It used to be a lot worse, but in the past few years they completely changed everything around, so it’s less like a zoo and more like a sanctuary. In fact, that’s what they rename this place in a few years. The Universal Animal Sanctuary.’

‘Oh, that’s good,’ Jackie said.

‘Can we see the apugapus next?’ Leah asked, staring at the zoo guide.

‘What do they do that’s weird?’ Jackie wanted to know.

‘Nothing, really,’ the Doctor replied.

‘They don’t do anythin’ weird? That’s a let down.’

‘Not all of the Universe is a thrill,’ the Doctor noted. Suddenly there was a scream from nearby, and within seconds everyone around them was running, panic in the air.

‘What’s happenin’?’ Jackie asked anxiously.

‘My cue,’ the Doctor said, getting to his feet. 

‘Just can’t have a day out with you, can we? Always gotta be some invasion!’ Jackie complained as Rose dived to Leah.

‘Everyone, run away!’ one of the zookeepers yelled over the screams. ‘One of the boggarts has escaped!’

The Doctor looked at the others. ‘Get away, don’t get near the boggart,’ he ordered. 

‘Here we go,’ Rose muttered, taking Leah and her mum’s hands.

‘Did you just say boggart?’ Jackie asked, stupefied. ‘Ain’t that Harry Potter?’

‘They’re these things from a part of our galaxy that’s full of anti-matter,’ Rose explained. ‘They’ve got these defence systems. The females morph into the thing you love most so you won’t hurt them, and the males morph into the thing you’re most scared of so you’ll run away.’

‘Oh,’ Jackie muttered.

‘So if it’s a male we got a problem. If people don’t run, they’re gonna get killed …’ She bit her lip, and looked at the Doctor. She suddenly pulled a hair band off of her wrist, took his hand, and pulled it over. He was about to ask why, but she suddenly looked so serious. ‘Be careful.’

He nodded, and left.

* * *

‘Clear the area!’ the zookeeper was screaming as the Doctor reached him. ‘Sir! Please clear the area!’

The Doctor whipped out his psychic paper. ‘I’m a leading expert on boggarts, can I help to contain it?’

The zookeeper hastily pointed to the north. ‘It’s by the Pluxo penguins!’

‘Thanks!’ the Doctor replied, and jogged as fast as his side would let him in the direction. As the cacophony of the panicked crowd faded away to background noise, the Doctor turned the corner, and stopped dead.

There was a giant circle of people lying on the ground, many of them clearly having a heart attack, and some not even moving. Some had died or were dying of shock from seeing their biggest fear, and some the boggart had dispensed with for itself. He could even see a couple of penguins, clearly having seen their most feared predator, lying lifeless on the ground. It was near silent, asides from the moans and cries of the dying around him. In the middle of the ring of bodies was a single figure. The boggart had already assumed the shape of his biggest fear.

His mother.

She looked straight at him, but didn’t move.

Swallowing, the Doctor cautiously made his way forward. As he picked his way through the people some were gargling, and some tried to cling onto his ankle, begging for his help. He had to stop the boggart before he could help them. He focused his gaze onto his mother, forcing himself forward until they were ten metres from each other.

‘I’m the Doctor, and what you’re doing here needs to stop.’

His mother looked at him. ‘Oh, Theta. Why must you always be the hero?’

‘Stop this. These people are dying,’ the Doctor snapped, taking a few paces forward. ‘And don’t think pretending to be my mother is going to have an effect on me. Whatever you want, boggart, I can help you.’

‘Oh, but Theta,’ his mother said softly, stepping forward to place her hand over his left heart. ‘This  _ is  _ your biggest fear. You’re so, so scared, but you can’t tell anyone what you’re thinking, can you? Because if you think too hard about it, you know you’re going to work out that it’s true.’

‘I have no idea what you’re talking about,’ the Doctor grated.

‘Your biggest fear is that the single lergri trapped inside of you is your own mother,’ she said. ‘She is the one keeping you linked to the army that’s going to wipe out your favourite planet. But you can’t stop that, can you? Because this is all that’s left of your mother – what’s currently inside you. If you find a way to get the lergri out of you, you would be killing her. And little Theta just can’t summon up the courage to do that, can he? This would be the fourth time you’ve killed her, after all.’

‘I’ll do whatever I have to do to save Planet Earth,’ the Doctor replied firmly. 

‘Even murdering your mother?’

‘What are you expecting? Want me to run away screaming?’ the Doctor asked, feeling himself welling up. ‘I can’t help my mother. She betrayed me. I let her in and she and the lergri tried to take over Earth. She made me throw myself into the rift. She made me miss five months of my family’s lives. I missed Leah’s fifth birthday because of her. Rose nearly shot me because of her. She nearly destroyed my life. And now I’m a complete slave to whatever vision of the future she wants to chuck my way at random intervals.’

‘I’m so sorry, Theta.’

‘Stop apologising, and stop pretending to be her,’ the Doctor snapped. ‘I  _ know  _ the lergri in me is her, because they think I couldn’t possibly want to effectively kill my own mother. Well, you know what? I’m close. I’m  _ this  _ close,’ he stated, his finger and thumb a centimetre apart. ‘I’m fed up of it. I want her to get out of my head and leave me alone.’

The image of her began to tremble.

‘Oh, can’t hold on, can you?’ the Doctor spat. ‘You’re realising that this isn’t my biggest fear anymore. Because this is hate _.’ _

As soon as it came out of his mouth, the Doctor was even shocked himself, as he realised what he’d said had come from the hearts. It was true. He hated his mother, now. For everything she'd caused. Everything she'd put him through. Her and the rest of the lergri, using him. Lying to him.

He resented her for that.

'I hate her,’ he whispered, his eyes widening. 'I … just … I  _ hate _ her.’

His mother screamed a harrowing, awful scream, the image of her flashing in and out as the image shifted quickly between the boggart, his mother, his father, a Dalek, the Master, Toby, Davros, Brax …

It shrieked and flew forward, talons out. He quickly dived, but stumbled to the side and cried out as his harpoon wound ripped through with pain. He tripped on a corpse, and more pain erupted as he hit the ground.

The boggart was on him within seconds. He tried desperately to move, but the boggart’s talons were already raising …

* * *

‘Doctor!’

The Doctor gasped, his eyes suddenly burning as the light abruptly changed and his head screamed with pain. He cried out, curling in himself as he tried desperately to ride out the pain.

Someone was holding him. He managed to get open his eyes slightly as he saw Rose above him, looking anxious.

‘You’re okay, you’re fine, I’m here, we’re here.’

The Doctor panted for air, his eyes focusing on his surroundings. He was on the floor in the TARDIS console room, next to the chair.

‘What happened to the boggart!?’ he tried to say, but it came out in an incomprehensible slur, as always. 

‘Don’t worry, okay?’ Rose said quickly, unable to understand his slurring. ‘You just had a vision, that’s all.’

He’d been in a vision? When exactly did he start having the vision? He didn’t remember. He didn’t remember at all. He tried to get up, but as ever, his limbs were very weak.

Rose quickly put his hands on his shoulders to stop his attempts. ‘You were havin’ a vision, you’re fine. Whatever happened didn’t happen, okay? Don’t worry. Don’t get up yet.’

He swallowed, and realised Jackie and Leah were there too, both looking very worried. 

‘Daddy, stop it,’ Leah complained, upset, as she reached down to hug his head. ‘You’re meant to be taking me to the zoo.’

They hadn’t gone yet? The Doctor’s head was spinning. He had no  _ idea  _ what was real and what wasn’t …

‘Okay, don’t crowd him,’ Rose said. ‘Mum, can you take Leah for a bit? I’ll sort him out.’

Jackie nodded, despite Leah’s protests to be with her dad, and left out into the corridor. Rose obligingly dropped to him.

‘Just gonna wait until you can talk,’ she said, clearly trying not to let on how scared she was. She pulled his head into her lap, cradling his cheek. 

* * *

After his speech returned three minutes later, he was finally sitting up, and they were facing each other. He explained to Rose the entire vision.

‘That’s way longer than the others you’ve had,’ Rose noted, wide-eyed. ‘That’s like a whole day. What’s the last thing you remember really happenin’?’

‘I don’t know,’ he confessed. ‘I don’t know where the vision started.’ He thought about that. Because of Leah, they must have been headed to the zoo. ‘Were we heading to the zoo?’ he asked Rose.

‘Yeah, we all walked in ready to go and you collapsed mid-flight,’ she said. ‘You don’t remember?’

‘I don’t remember the headache I usually get or anything.’

‘This isn’t good, is it?’ Rose moaned.

He sighed, rubbing his eyes. ‘No, it isn’t.’

‘What are you thinkin’?’ she asked.

‘I think I’m scared,’ he muttered.

‘Yeah?’

‘Rose, I had no idea I was in a vision. I don’t remember the headache. My slurring periods are getting shorter. At what point does everything just start flowing into each other? How am I going to know when I’m in a vision and when I’m not? What happens if I wake up inside a vision? When do I … lose track of what’s real?’

She gazed at him for a moment. ‘Okay,’ she finally said. ‘So I know what’s real, but you don’t. So I’ve gotta be the one to keep you on track.’ She thought briefly, and then nodded. ‘Okay.’ She pulled a green hair band off of her wrist and slipped it over his. ‘Every time somethin’ happens which I recognise from a vision you’ve talked about, I’ll put a hairband on your wrist. So every vision you have, you’ll have the hairband. Every other time you won’t. That way you can work out if it's real or not, cos if I know about it and you're experiencin’ it for the first time, you know it's a vision. Just keep checkin’ your wrist.’

He nodded. 'That makes sense.’

She smiled and took the band off. ‘We'll get through this.’

He nodded and smiled. 'Yeah. Always.’

‘So what do we do now?’

‘Well …’ he said, scratching a sideburn. ‘We’re either going to avoid the vision, or just get on with it.’

‘What?’

He bit his lip, and then decided. ‘I’m not ruining Leah’s birthday because of the lergri. We’re going to the zoo.’


	13. Daddy's Taking Us to the Zoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The family head off to the zoo as fate seems to cut their path.

_ I don’t believe in fate. _

Those were the words the Doctor was repeating in his head as the day played out. Sure, the lergri had been right once, but that didn’t mean they were going to be right twice. The lergri only wanted to get into this universe after all, so maybe the first vision of Rose shooting him had been to gain his trust, and now they were trying to lead him down a certain path. Maybe this vision wouldn’t occur at all. Maybe they just  _ wanted  _ him to do it for part of a grand plan he wasn’t yet aware of.

Yet the day played out exactly how it had in the vision. They got dressed up, then visited the Pluxo penguins; the yellow spotted ants; the black kandeer; the brown bakons; the bronze-tailed gigahaws; the Zoloris paka-pakas; the invisible topiazaries; and then the combustible monkeys. The same conversations were had. Everything was completely the same. He’d tried to change it, but kept finding he was distracted from his intentions, and could never quite manage to do anything that could possibly change what had happened in his vision. He’d tried to suggest they changed path, but suddenly Jackie would yelp or Leah would run off. Everything was against him. He always noted that the queue to get in the teleport for the boggart region was consistently full. He even couldn’t see any zookeepers to ask about the boggarts.

He wanted to go and check the boggart enclosure himself, but the thought that the lergri might be tricking him was at the forefront of his mind. If he left Leah, Rose, and Jackie, he couldn’t protect them. Maybe something was going to happen to them and the lergri were trying to steer him away from them. He couldn’t take them with him either - for one thing, Leah wasn’t going to go anywhere near the boggarts after her last experience, and for another thing, if he led them straight towards where the danger was, that was going to make things even worse.

_ I don’t believe in fate. _

He was a time traveller. There were fixed points, but that was as far as his idea of fate reached. However, right now, he wasn’t so sure.

In the end, he decided he was getting overly paranoid, and the lergri had every reason to trick him. Besides, he was getting fed up with how much the lergri had taken over his entire mind. He was thinking so much that he was barely focusing on Leah. He wasn’t going to let them ruin her birthday. It wasn’t going to happen.

Despite this, he was feeling an impending sense of dread as he got his second lunch and the conversation turned to keeping the animals humanely.

‘The entire planet is a zoo,’ the Doctor found himself explaining to Jackie the second time that day. ‘Every animal is living in its natural habitat. All we’re doing is teleporting around visiting each continent. It’s meticulously planned so the planet’s animals live in complete harmony within the exact climate they came from, and are able to live completely freely within their piece of the planet. Many of these animals are the last of their race and would be extinct without being brought here.’

‘Last time we came here there were loads of cages,’ Rose said thoughtfully.

He nodded. ‘It used to be a lot worse, but in the past few years they completely changed everything around, so it’s less like a zoo and more like a sanctuary. In fact, that’s what they renamed this place in a few years. The Universal Animal Sanctuary.’

‘Oh, that’s good,’ Jackie said.

‘Can we see the apugapus next?’ Leah asked, staring at the zoo guide.

‘What do they do that’s weird?’ Jackie wanted to know.

‘Nothing, really,’ the Doctor replied.

‘They don’t do anythin’ weird? That’s a let down.’

‘Not all of the Universe is a thrill,’ the Doctor noted, and waited for it. For quite a long moment, nothing happened. He was about to sigh with relief, when suddenly there was a scream from nearby, and within seconds everyone around them was running, panic in the air.

‘What’s happenin’?’ Jackie asked anxiously.

His hearts sank. ‘My cue,’ the Doctor said, getting to his feet. 

‘Just can’t have a day out with you, can we? Always gotta be some invasion!’ Jackie complained as Rose dived to Leah.

‘Everyone, run away!’ one of the zookeepers yelled over the screams. ‘One of the boggarts has escaped!’

The Doctor looked at the others. ‘Get away, don’t get near the boggart,’ he ordered. 

‘Here we go,’ Rose muttered, taking Leah and her mum’s hands.

‘Did you just say boggart?’ Jackie asked, stupefied. ‘Ain’t that Harry Potter?’

‘They’re these things from a part of our galaxy that’s full of anti-matter,’ Rose explained. ‘They’ve got these defence systems. The females morph into the thing you love most so you won’t hurt them, and the males morph into the thing you’re most scared of so you’ll run away.’

‘Oh,’ Jackie muttered.

‘So if it’s a male we got a problem. If people don’t run, they’re gonna get killed …’ She bit her lip, and looked at the Doctor. She pulled a hair band off of her wrist, took his hand, and pulled it over. Now he knew why. She suddenly looked so serious. ‘Be careful.’

He nodded, and left.

* * *

‘Clear the area!’ the zookeeper was screaming as the Doctor reached him. ‘Sir! Please clear the area!’

The Doctor whipped out his psychic paper, his excuse already made. ‘I’m a leading expert on boggarts, can I help to contain it?’

The zookeeper hastily pointed to the north. ‘It’s by the Pluxo penguins!’

‘Thanks!’ the Doctor replied, and jogged as fast as his side would let him in the direction. As the cacophony of the panicked crowd faded away to background noise, the Doctor turned the corner, and stopped dead.

He'd seen it before, but now it was real, and it was harrowing. The circle of the dead and dying. People he'd failed to protect, he realised. And once again, in the ring of corpses, was his mother.

It was still such a shock to see her standing there. He swallowed, and cautiously approached her. Once again he was picking his way through the massacre, with the dying gasping for his help. 

Help he could have given around six hours ago.

He locked eyes with his mother, and stopped at ten metres.

‘I’m the Doctor, and what you’re doing here needs to stop,’ he stated firmly.

His mother looked at him. ‘Oh, Theta. Why must you always be the hero?’

‘Stop this. These people are dying,’ the Doctor snapped, taking a few paces forward. ‘And don’t think pretending to be my mother is going to have an effect on me. Whatever you want, boggart, I can help you.’

‘Oh, but Theta,’ his mother said softly, stepping forward to place her hand over his left heart. He knew this was a bad position to be in, but feeling her touch, even if it was faked, made his hearts skip a beat. ‘This  _ is  _ your biggest fear. You’re so, so scared, but you can’t tell anyone what you’re thinking, can you? Because if you think too hard about it, you know you’re going to work out that it’s true.’

‘I have no idea what you’re talking about,’ the Doctor grated. He knew, but he wasn't giving the boggart the satisfaction of that fact.

‘Your biggest fear is that the single lergri trapped inside of you is your own mother,’ she said. ‘She is the one keeping you linked to the army that’s going to wipe out your favourite planet. But you can’t stop that, can you? Because this is all that’s left of your mother – what’s currently inside you. If you find a way to get the lergri out of you, you would be killing her. And little Theta just can’t summon up the courage to do that, can he? This would be the fourth time you’ve killed her, after all.’

‘I’ll do whatever I have to do to save Planet Earth,’ the Doctor replied firmly. 

‘Even murdering your mother?’

‘What are you expecting? Want me to run away screaming?’ the Doctor asked. He wanted to cry at the sight of his mother’s voice and form doing this to him twice. ‘I can’t help my mother. She betrayed me. I let her in and she and the lergri tried to take over Earth. She made me throw myself into the rift. She made me miss five months of my family’s lives. I missed Leah’s fifth birthday because of her. Rose nearly shot me because of her. She nearly destroyed my life. And now I’m a complete slave to whatever vision of the future she wants to chuck my way at random intervals.’

‘I’m so sorry, Theta.’

‘Stop apologising, and stop pretending to be her,’ the Doctor snapped. ‘I  _ know  _ the lergri in me is her, because they think I couldn’t possibly want to effectively kill my own mother. Well, you know what? I’m close. I’m  _ this  _ close,’ he stated, his finger and thumb a centimetre apart. ‘I’m fed up with it. I want her to get out of my head and leave me alone.’

The image of her began to tremble.

‘Oh, can’t hold on, can you?’ the Doctor spat. ‘You’re realising that this isn’t my biggest fear anymore. Because this is hate _.’ _

He'd been shocked enough by his vision self realising that, but now he'd  _ really  _ said it, it was now undeniably true. She was the catalyst for everything that had happened, and now because she was messing with his head so much, he'd talked himself out of the vision. The consequences of that were horrific. The bodies were still littered around him. He'd known. He could have prevented this. But her motivation and her betrayal before had diluted his judgement. 

He resented her for that.

'I hate her,’ he whispered, his eyes widening. 'I … just … I  _ hate _ her.’

Just as before, the boggart reacted badly to the revelation. His mother screamed a harrowing, awful scream, the image of her flashing in and out as the image shifted quickly between the boggart, his mother, his father, a Dalek, the Master, Toby, Davros, Brax …

It shrieked and swooped forward, talons out. He quickly dived, but stumbled to the side and cried out as his harpoon wound ripped through with pain. He tried to avoid the corpse he knew had tripped him up before, but he couldn’t. He hit the ground, pain in his side.

He flipped over to see the boggart bearing down on him again. He tried to scramble away, but the talons were already raising …

There was suddenly a loud ‘pft’ from somewhere in front of him, and the boggart shrieked, dropping its talons. As the Doctor dragged himself to his feet, his hand on his side, he realised Rose was standing there, holding one of the zookeeper’s standard issue tranquiliser guns, and there was one now in the boggart’s back. 

It screamed with rage, and dived for Rose.

‘Rose!’ the Doctor yelled, launching himself forward, but the pain in his side was so severe he could barely stand up. He immediately tripped over the same body he’d tripped over before, hitting the ground for the second time. He forced his head up, and realised Rose was now on the ground with the boggart hovering over her. As he struggled forward, it changed shape to reflect Rose’s biggest fear.

It was the Doctor himself.

‘What!?’ the Doctor gasped, still lying on the ground. But he didn’t have time to think. The boggart was about to kill her.

Some sort of superpower rose up from within him as he suddenly found himself on his feet and running straight at the boggart. It raised its talons, and he ploughed into it just as it was about to strike. They tumbled together, rolling over and over until a corpse stopped them, where the Doctor found himself pinned down by the boggart, now staring up into his own face. 

It was bloody and littered with scars, and his eyes were as black as night. He was wearing the most evil grin the Doctor had ever seen.

‘Your wife’s biggest fear is you,’ the boggart mocked in his own voice. ‘That’s a bit awkward, isn’t it?’

The Doctor tried  _ so  _ hard to push him off, but he was completely pinned down. His side was hurting so much he was on the verge of  _ crying  _ ...

‘Now I know your biggest fear,’ the boggart stated, and morphed into Rose, and leant down so their faces were inches apart. ‘Oh, Doctor,’ it said in her voice. ‘You scare me so much.’

He  _ was  _ crying, now. He couldn’t stop it. The pain in his side and the pain in his hearts combined with the pregnancy was too much. The boggart started to laugh with her voice at the sight of him completely losing it.

‘I don’t want you anymore, Doctor,’ it said in her voice as it raised its talons.

‘To hell I don’t!’ Rose suddenly yelled, and the Doctor looked up to see her standing beside them, holding something long, thin, and very solid-looking. Half a second later, it slammed straight into the boggart.

The boggart cried out as it fell off of the Doctor, morphing back into the Doctor’s shape and looking up at Rose. She hesitated. The boggart threw itself forward again, but the Doctor was there to meet it. He grabbed its arm, pushing the claws away from her. For a moment they struggled as the talons came within centimetres of his face. Then, the boggart began to falter as finally the tranquilliser took hold and it started to slow down. With Rose's help, he managed to pin it down, keeping it there until finally it succumbed.

The Doctor let out a groan and collapsed to the ground, feeling like he'd been shot. Rose dived to him immediately, pulling the hairband from his wrist.

‘You’re bleedin’,’ she said quickly, pulling up his shirt. He vaguely looked down, and saw red. 'Wound’s opened. It's okay.’

'You're scared of me,’ he croaked.

She didn't answer. She learnt down and kissed his forehead. 'I love you, okay?’

'But you're scared …’

'Don't, yeah?’ 

‘But …’ 

‘Did you kill it!?’ a voice suddenly yelled. The zookeeper was running towards them.

'I tranquilised it,’ Rose replied quickly, pointing to the boggart, now in its natural form, sleeping on the ground in amongst the bodies. 'Quick - these people need help.’

* * *

'I’m fine,’ the Doctor was insisting to the paramedic who was trying his hardest to examine him. 'Please, go and help someone else.’

'But you're bleeding,’ the paramedic maintained, puzzled.

'I'll be fine - old wound - just help everyone else.’

The paramedic harrumphed, but obligingly moved away. 

The boggart had been contained, and now scores of ambulance ships littered the park. The Doctor had been escorted to one of them, despite his insistence that he was okay. Now, he was just sitting on the back, watching the scene. Quite a few more people than he'd presumed were still alive, which made him feel a bit better, but not a lot. People were being covered with sheets as he watched. People he could have saved. He desperately wanted to help the injured, but his side was so painful he could barely walk, even with all of his endorphins flowing. His only respite was to hunch over and occasionally groan.

Just before the ambulances had arrived, Rose had mumbled something about finding Jackie and Leah, and left before he'd had the chance to reply. He really wasn't looking forward to their next conversation. The mere thought that Rose was scared of him was mortifying. He'd spent most of their time together trying to ensure that wasn't the case. But he'd failed, and that hurt more than any physical injury.

He groaned again, gritting his teeth and rocking slightly as his side made a loud complaint. He was fed up with it. He was fed up with the injury. He was fed up with being pregnant. He needed to go back to the TARDIS and find some deep, dark recess to sit in for a few weeks.

Rose appeared just a few minutes later, scanning the area for him. He almost considered hiding, but before he had the chance to move she was already there.

‘Hey,’ she said cheerily. ‘Found Leah and Mum, they're back in the Tardis. You okay?’

He looked at her cautiously. For once in his life, he didn't quite know what to say.

She sighed, sitting down next to him and straightening out his clothes as she spoke, ‘I'm not scared of you, yeah?’

‘But the bog-’

‘Thank you, sir, ma’am!’ the zookeeper from earlier suddenly interrupted, beaming from ear to ear. ‘Thank you so much!’

‘It’s okay,’ Rose replied, glancing at the Doctor, who was just gazing at her.

'If not for you perhaps the whole planet might have been killed!’ he said, shaking their hands despite the fact he was wearing rubbery, sticky protective gloves.

The Doctor looked out at the corpses. 'Yeah,’ he muttered.

'We found this in the boggart enclosure,’ the zookeeper continued, digging into his pocket. 'We've never seen it before. We thought it might be a boggart egg of some kind?’

He pulled out a small, blue, glowing sphere.

'Oh my god,’ Rose muttered, staring at it. 

The Doctor looked at her, and then back at the sphere. They hadn't even been looking for it. The most sought after and sparse artefacts in the universe, supposedly impossible to find, were now just dropping into their laps.

He had no idea what to think about that.

Either way, it was going to give him a vision. And right now, he needed to escape.

He pulled off the bandage on his left hand that still covered the scar, and reached out.

'No, don't!’ Rose cried, grabbing his arm as he touched the sphere …

Suddenly the Doctor's sight began to spiral out of control. Everything merged like a kaleidoscope as the zoo spun away from him. He could feel Rose's hand tighten on his arm as she started to scream. He turned to her, but couldn’t see her.

‘Hold on!’ he yelled, but she was already gone, breaking away into nothing.

He felt himself being thrown backwards, although there was no pain. He landed on his back, and forced open his eyes.

Blackness.

He gasped in air, looking up to see he was in the near darkness, surrounded on four sides by dark stone walls. He looked up, and realised the little light he could see in was breaking through a hatch above him. There was a constant flow of water, and he looked right to see a small water spout embedded in the wall, running water into a small metal-reinforced hole just below. There was a slot to the left, a little higher up, a chute where he knew from past experience the food was delivered through.

He knew this. He knew it well. He’d spent twelve years stuck inside one of these, completely alone. And now he was back. Back inside his Volag-Noc cell.

* * *

Rose opened her eyes, and found herself in a stone cell. To her complete relief, despite her situation, the Doctor was there too. He wasn’t looking at her. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor, staring blankly at the opposite wall.

‘Doctor?’ she grunted, pushing herself onto her knees. ‘What happened?’

He didn’t answer. Frowning, she crawled to him. ‘You’re not seriously gonna ignore me, are you?’

He didn’t do anything. Something wasn’t right, here. 

‘Doctor,’ she tried again. Nothing.

Slightly horrified, she raised her hand and waved it in front of his eyes. He didn’t react. She clapped sharply, inches from his nose. He didn’t react to that either.

‘Doctor, can you hear me?’ she asked fearfully.

Absolutely nothing.

‘Please, please, if this is about the boggart or somethin’, let’s talk, please don’t ignore me …’

He wasn’t doing anything.

‘Doctor!’ she moaned, and tried to take his chin in her hand, but to her complete horror, it passed right through him. She gasped a little, wide-eyed as she reached to the wall for support, and nearly fell through that too.

‘You can’t see or hear me,’ she realised, and looked at their surroundings properly for the first time. She’d never seen it, but he’d described his experience in solitary confinement to her in explicit detail, and this was exactly it. 

She got the feeling this wasn’t going to go well.


	14. Solitary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor struggles with his past demons as he loses his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very dark, with mental torture and references to self-harm. This has a whole ton of references to a previous story in this series - Echoes. 'Trevor' is an arbitrary name Jack created in Paroxysmic for the Doctor's less than pleasant dark side. Enjoy! :D

**Twelve years previously**

_ When his hologram had appeared to tell him his only option to save his family was to subject himself to imprisonment, the Doctor had known that he was going to be in Volag-Noc for twelve years.  _

_ Once he’d ensured his Echo was safely heading back to Earth and Leah’s Echo was with Hunfrid and his tribe, he’d given himself up to the authorities, and prepared himself for twelve years without his family. The Shadow Proclamation had held a kangaroo court, everyone of them pretending that he was his Echo, despite the fact they clearly knew he was the real Doctor, and that he was entirely innocent. He’d been found guilty of nonsensical charges within the space of two minutes, and taken to Volag-Noc. Without a single fleck of mercy, they’d taken him straight into the feared and legendary Screaming Souls block. They’d thrown him into one of the highest security cells they had available – an oubliette. They’d locked the door above, and left. _

* * *

The Doctor had been pacing for ten minutes now, clearly trying to deal with some very complex feelings about his current situation. Rose could do nothing but watch him. He couldn’t see or hear her – she was like a ghost. She could walk out if she wanted to, but she wasn’t going to leave him. Not like this. Not after last time.

Since his last experience, she’d taken it upon herself to learn about solitary confinement, the effect it had, and what people in solitary should do to keep themselves busy. It was okay for her, she’d never experienced anything like this before and she could probably hold out for a while, especially since she had the Doctor to watch. But he didn’t. To him, he was alone, and it had taken him right back to the state of mind he’d been in before. He could fall a lot faster this time if he let it get to him.

But he wasn’t doing any of the techniques to stay busy. Not yet, anyway. He was just walking back and forth, seemingly deep in thought. The only sound were his footsteps, and the flowing water out of the pipe behind her.

‘Okay, let’s deal with this,’ the Doctor suddenly said in the silence, almost making Rose jump out of her skin. ‘It’s happened again. I’m stuck in a place I can’t get out of. Last time it sent me insane. But not this time. It won’t happen this time.’

He was talking to himself, Rose realised. Good. He’d need stimuli, and his own voice was a good start.

‘Rose,’ he suddenly said, as if speaking directly to her. Rose jumped again, looking at him, though he wasn’t looking at her.

‘Doctor, I’m here, can you –’

‘I need to talk to someone. I need to feel like I’m having social interaction,’ he said.

He was pretending, Rose realised.

He stopped, and looked around. ‘First of all, where am I?’ he asked himself, looking around. ‘It has to be Volag-Noc,’ he reasoned. ‘It’s the same cell as before. I have to be on the Screaming Souls block.’

He paused, and looked up at the hatch.

‘But is it a vision?’ he wondered, and checked his wrist. ‘No hairband. So either you couldn’t get a hairband to me, or it’s not a vision.’

Rose checked her wrist too. She had her hairband, and also her watch. Her watch only really served to help her monitor her sleep and food cycles these days, since she’d become fed up in a life of time travel to keep asking the Doctor when she was supposed to sleep, but right now it was serving another function. It said 3:02. It had said 2:58 around about the time they had left the zoo. 

‘Let’s pretend it’s not a vision. Maybe the key was a teleport. So, this is real, and I’m stuck.’ He swallowed suddenly, looking at the floor. ‘Wait. You were holding onto me, Rose. If it’s a teleport, it’s taken you somewhere too. But … you’re not here. So where are you?’

‘I’m here,’ Rose said anxiously. ‘I’m right here.’

‘You have to be somewhere in the vicinity,’ he said, unable to hear her. ‘I don’t know where. But wherever you are, you’re still in danger, and I need to save you … and myself.’

She chilled a little at his last words.

‘I need to get out.’

* * *

_ The first few weeks he’d spent assessing his surroundings – every single nook and cranny, hoping to find some magic way out. To fulfil the time loop he couldn’t leave Volag-Noc, but maybe he could at least escape out of the Screaming Souls block and into the general population. _

_ There were only four possible exits to his oubliette. One, was obviously the hatch above him, but he couldn’t reach that, and the walls were too smooth and slanted back to climb. He’d tried jumping, or trying to form some platform with his prison-issued clothes in a kind of hammock, but he couldn’t securely fix them anywhere as the walls were so smooth. Exit two was the hole to drain the water coming from the spout, but it was reinforced with metal, and he had no chance of getting anywhere with that. The third was the spout itself. After two days he managed to pull it out, but there was only metal beyond the stone. Four, was the food chute. He discovered quite rapidly that with the corruption and dissent in the Shadow Proclamation, food was at completely random intervals. Sometimes it was only a few minutes between them, or sometimes weeks. It would be delivered loose on the tray, like a disc drive. On one occasion, he’d knocked the food tray and realised with a bit of force he could probably get it off. He proceeded to snap it. As he was wondering what to do with a broken tray, a little while later another food delivery came. The tray had been replaced. _

_ Slowly, an escape plan began to form in his mind. Whenever the food slot came out, he grabbed the tray and pushed it down with his entire body weight. Once it was snapped off, he placed it directly underneath the hatch to form a platform to the hatch. He did it on every food delivery for a week, and ended up with nine trays. It wasn’t exactly the Great Escape as the tower was only ten centimetres high, but it was progress, and he began to feel a bit more positive. _

_ The next food delivery, he got ready to snap the tray, but to his complete horror, there was no tray. The self-repair had failed, or spotted what he was doing and now refused to repair it. His food came out of the slot and straight onto the ground, more often than not rolling into the water spout. _

_ All four possible exits were not so possible, it turned out. _

_ So instead, he decided to wait. The judoon had to return at some point. Even if the Shadow Proclamation were falling apart, they still had a duty of care to the prisoners of Volag-Noc. _

* * *

Rose watched the Doctor walk over to the water pipe, resting his hands on the metal, and giving an experimental tug. Then he stopped, stepping back.

‘No, Rose. I tried that before. It didn’t work. There’s some kind of dense metal beyond these walls. I can’t get out through the walls.’

He then looked up at the hatch above him.

‘Can’t reach that either,’ he said. ‘I could never reach it.’

He ran his hands through his hair, before groaning and resting a hand on his side. He sat down on the stone, and peeled back the dressings to look. Rose edged forward to take a peek. It was bloody again. He sighed, dropping his shirt, and leant back against the wall. She sat next to him. It was quite eerie how she could be this close to him, but the bond insisted on feeling like he was a mile away.

‘It’s okay, you’ll get out of here,’ she told him, despite the fact she knew he couldn’t hear her.

‘Rose, I’m really, really sorry,’ he suddenly muttered.

‘You’ve got nothin’ to be sorry for,’ she said.

‘I never meant for you to be scared of me. I tried so hard.’

‘It’s not you,’ she said. ‘It’s the dark side of you. Not you. I love you.’

‘I just don’t understand why,’ he moaned, his head in his hands. ‘I thought we were fine.’

‘We  _ are …’ _

‘Where did I go wrong?’

‘You didn’t,’ Rose insisted. ‘Oh god, stop thinkin’ about this, please.’

‘I know these past few months have been difficult, but I honestly was trying.’

‘I know you were …’

‘But if you’re scared of me, who else is scared of me?’ he asked. ‘Leah?’

‘No!’ Rose said loudly and quickly. ‘Don’t think that, don’t even go down that road.’

He suddenly laughed. Rose blinked, surprised.

‘Listen to me,’ he muttered. ‘I’m talking to an imaginary person. And I’m trying to stay sane?’

She couldn’t help but laugh at that.

‘Okay, I need to keep my brain active, Rose. So I’m going to sing. I know I’m tone deaf, but it’s not like Simon Cowell’s here to buzz me.’

She laughed again. ‘You’re not tone deaf.’

‘What that song you always want to dance to when you’re drunk?’ he wondered. 

‘Shake It Off?’ she asked.

‘Black Coffee,’ he said after a moment’s thought.

‘Yeah, I’ve got a few I guess,’ she conceded.

He cleared his throat and began, a little awkwardly, ‘night swimming, beach walking, always silent, never talking, then you call my name and I know inside I love you …’

‘Oh my god,’ she murmured, laughing. ‘I didn’t know you knew the words.’

‘Sail away, I miss you more until you see the shore … There I will be waiting, anticipating … Each moment is new, freeze the moment. Each moment is cool, freeze the moment.’

She giggled, and joined in, ‘I wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else but here ... I wouldn’t wanna change anything at all. I wouldn’t wanna take everything out on you … Though I know I do, everytime I fall …’

She stopped as she realised he wasn’t singing anymore. He was crying.

‘No, don’t. Don’t do that,’ she said softly.

He just cried.

* * *

_ Seven months later, with absolutely no contact whatsoever from any authority, the Doctor decided that the judoon weren’t going to come back. They probably weren’t even monitoring him. He could die down here for all they cared. But he wasn’t going to let that happen. _

_ At first he’d refused to eat the food that had been on the floor, but he gave that up after a month. He knew that part of surviving solitary confinement was by creating a sense of self, and that came from dignity. He had to eat the floor food for survival, but he otherwise kept himself clean. He used the water to clean himself and the cell. He even used and broke every tray trying to get a bit of rock from the wall. He managed it eventually, but the bit that had broken off was too brittle to use in any escape attempt. He very carefully began to sharpen the rock on the walls instead. It didn’t do anything to the wall, but it gave him something vaguely sharp. He ripped off a bit of his clothes, and wound it around the rock to make a handle. He then had a fully functioning shiv. He used it to shave, and to cut his hair.  _

_ The first few years had been okay. He was well-versed in torture resistance through Time War training. He knew how to cope in solitary confinement. He had little tricks he could pull, and certain techniques he could use to endure the perpetual silence and utter lack of social contact. He’d spent most of the first year in a hibernation, and half of the second in a deep trance, only waking up to clean himself. But within five years, he was starting to find it a challenge. He wasn’t getting enough food. As the days passed, his energy depleted, until he got to the point where his time sense started to feel less precise. He began to mistrust it. He eventually decided that his time sense was no longer reliable.  _

_ After that, everything started to go very badly wrong. _

* * *

The Doctor had gone quiet, and Rose was seriously beginning to worry. 

Her watch now said it was 4:24pm. It had been an hour and a half. After he’d stopped crying he’d been through the Rose Tyler dance party collection of songs, and then he’d just sank into silence, staring at the wall. She knew this wasn’t good. He needed to do something.

‘Doctor, please, get up, do somethin’. It’s gonna get bad if you stay like this,’ she moaned.

‘Rose, I think I’m in trouble,’ he suddenly muttered.

‘Yeah, I’ll say,’ she said.

‘I’ve been here two weeks and no one’s come.’

Rose frowned, and checked her watch again. ‘No, it’s an hour and a half. Doctor, it’s only been an hour and a half.’

‘Eight years, and no one’s come.’

Rose’s eyes widened. His time sense was already going haywire. His mental trauma from last time had sent him quickly back to his previous state …

‘It’s okay, it’s okay,’ she moaned, feeling herself about to cry. He was crashing, badly, and there was nothing she could do about it.

* * *

_ Eight years had gone by, but the Doctor didn’t know that. _

_ It felt like twenty or thirty, or maybe an eternity. He knew he was becoming very, very ill. He was malnourished, and he couldn’t sleep. He didn’t feel safe. The walls were cracking, moving, and groaning around him. If he went to sleep, they’d crush him.  _

_ He felt completely numb. His thoughts were fleeting, his emotions were only fear and tears. _

_ He kept his cleaning ritual. He was aware at the back of his mind that his psychology was in a really bad way, and keeping himself clean seemed to be helping. But one day when he touched the water to clean himself, he became afraid. The running water was the only sound he had, and when he stopped it, it felt like he was dead. _

* * *

He suddenly got up with a groan, and lumbered to the water spout. He let out a cry of pain that broke Rose’s heart as he lowered himself to kneel on the floor, and pulled up his shirt again, peeling back the bandages. He began to throw water on it. He was cleaning it.

‘Good, yeah, keep goin’,’ she encouraged.

* * *

_ One time he’d been shaving, and he’d accidentally cut himself. Some kind of sensation shot out across his cheek, and his skin went strangely warm. _

_ Pain, he realised. It was called pain. And it was a feeling. A feeling he hadn't felt for years. A kind of touch that was so unfamiliar, but so sensational. _

_ He stopped trying to shave, and instead stared at the shiv, which now had a thin line of red on it. Blood, he recalled. It looked so vivid. It had been a long time since he'd seen any other colour than grey. _

_ His cheek was still hurting. It was a feeling. And it was good. _

_ He lifted his left arm, and the shiv in his right hand. He placed the sharp end on his arm, and dragged it. _

_ By the time he thought to stop, he had about fifteen cuts up his arm, all of which were bleeding. Something was telling him that this was wrong, but at the same time it felt so right. _

* * *

Rose watched him as he cleaned the wound. Then, he was becoming a little more vigorous.

‘Doctor?’ she asked, watching him throw the water onto himself. Then suddenly he stopped, and looked down. The wound was still displaying signs of infection.

Then, to her horror, he suddenly tightened his hand into a fist and slammed it into his belly wound. Rose gasped.

'No, what are you doin’!?’ she cried as he groaned and curled in on himself. Despite this, he straightened up and did it again. He screamed this time. 'Stop it, stop it right now!’

He did it again, and again, ignorant of her protests. He kept doing it until he had blood on his hand and he was gasping, moaning. He sank to the floor, his arm stretched out, his bloody fingernails scraping against the stone.

‘Jesus, fuck,’ she cursed, running to him. ‘You don’t have to have pain as a sensation, please, please, we’ll get through this …’

‘Ten years and no one’s come ...’ he gasped.

‘Hour and a half,’ she said, tears in her eyes.

‘I can’t feel you anymore, Rose. I can’t feel anyone. I can’t feel myself. Rose, are you dead?’ he moaned.

'No, no, I'm not, I'm right here ...’

He suddenly looked straight at her. ‘Then am I dead?’

Her breath caught in her throat. ‘Doctor?’ she asked.

‘I knew it. It was all a lie,’ he moaned. ‘I fell for it. Rose, I fell for it.’

‘Fell for what?’ she asked.

‘I thought I’d got out, but I didn’t, did I? I’m still here. I’ve always been here.’

‘No, you did. This is just somethin’ to do with the Moirai. I swear.' She paused momentarily, realising that they were now having a conversation, and he was staring at her. 'Wait a minute. Can you hear me?’

He giggled a little. ‘I’m not deaf.’

‘Oh my god,’ she said, somewhat relieved as she moved forward. ‘Doctor. I’m here. It’s okay, I swear. You’re just flashin’ back cos it’s so similar. You’ve not been in here that long, just an hour and a half. You’re gonna be fine. We’re gonna get out. Please, Doctor.’

* * *

_ ‘You’re gonna be fine. We’re gonna get out. Please, Doctor,’ Rose was saying. _

_ ‘Did I tell you I loved you before I left?’ he asked. _

* * *

‘Yeah, you did,’ she said, remembering that night. ‘We … we made love and you told me you loved me.’

‘Good,’ he muttered. ‘Cos I ... don’t think I’m gonna make it.’

‘Don’t you say that,’ she chastised. ‘We’re gonna be fine, I’m gonna look after you …’

‘Help me,’ he begged.

* * *

_ ‘I can’t,’ she replied, sobbing.  _

* * *

‘I will,’ she told him firmly. ‘Whatever happens I’m here for you, we’ve been through too much together to fall at this, whatever it is.’

‘Why am I here?’ he moaned. 

‘It’s the Moirai, it did somethin’, you said somethin’ about a teleport …’

* * *

_ ‘The Proclamation did this to you,’ Rose told him. ‘They put you in here and forgot about you.’ _

_ ‘What do I need to do?’ _

_ ‘You need to kill them before they kill me.’ _

* * *

‘You need to carry on what you were doin’,’ Rose said anxiously. ‘Keep singin’. Please. Keep singin’.’

‘You’re right,’ he muttered, blinking rapidly a few times. ‘I’m not sane anymore. They’ve ruined me. They’ve killed me. They need to die …’

Rose abruptly realised that he was no longer having a conversation with her as he pushed himself up, and his face began to change …

‘I need to kill them all.’

* * *

_ ‘Yes,’ Rose encouraged. ‘Kill them. I know you can do it. You’re so good at that. You’re the superior species, yeah? Show ‘em why. Then they can’t hurt me.’ _

* * *

The Doctor’s eyes narrowed, and lost anything left of that spark of love in his eyes. His body tensed, his jaw set, and suddenly he seemed a whole lot more threatening. Rose gasped, stumbling back, and hit the wall.

Hit the wall.

She turned, pressing her hands against the stone. She could feel it. It was solid.  _ She  _ was solid …

She turned back. The Doctor was staring at her.

He looked like he was about to tear her apart.

* * *

_ Rose suddenly changed to one of the Shadow Proclamation Architects. A lady in a black dress with white hair and red eyes. _

_ He abhorred her with every single atom in his body. _

* * *

‘You need to die,’ he spat, staring unblinkingly at Rose.

Rose froze, utterly petrified. ‘No, no, Doctor, it’s me, I’m me, it’s Rose!’

He took a step towards her. ‘I like your fear,’ he teased. ‘Not so big now in your high tower, are you? Pathetic, stupid little architect. Trying to contend with a Time Lord. Trying to contend with me. You have  _ no idea  _ what I can do _.  _ I think I’ll use your body to make an example to your architect friends.’ He suddenly smiled, an idea hitting him. ‘I know! I’ll chop you up into teeny-tiny pieces and throw them all up in the air, to see if they make a body shape when they land. I wonder what the chances of that are? I reckon if I cut you up into twenty-four pieces, it would be something like 1 in 1.333735776850284 times ten to the power 33, but I’m going to need a volunteer or thousand for a case study before I submit a paper.’

‘Please,’ Rose gasped, her heart racing so fast it felt like it was about to burst out of her chest.  _ ‘Please!!!’ _

‘Don’t just stand there, you’re making this too easy,’ he said disparagingly. ‘Run around and scream a bit.’

She could barely breathe. ‘Doctor, it’s Rose! Whatever you’re seein’ isn’t real! I’m  _ me!’ _

‘Don’t wanna play?’ he mocked. ‘Well, this’ll be less fun for me, but hey, it’s your death I suppose. You should go the way you want to.’

He reached out, gripped her neck with his bloody hands, and squeezed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I only feel a LITTLE bit bad that I'm leaving with you this end for a few days while I prep the next load xD


	15. Trevor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor completely loses his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reference to the slave owner who took Rose and her first encounter with "Trevor" is in Paroxysmic, chapter 11 :D

Rose’s neck felt like it was about to snap. She could feel Theo inside her, reacting to what his father was doing. Her eyes were bulging, her eyes watering, and she couldn't breathe …

She had to fight.

She threw up her hand and smacked him straight across the face as hard as she possibly could. He stumbled, surprised, letting go of her. She gasped, choking, desperate to get in some air. She held her belly, digging her hand in slightly as she felt Theo move inside her. She needed to escape, but she had nowhere to go …

The Doctor was pressing his hand to his mouth, looking both aghast and delighted at the same time. She’d hit him so hard she’d split his lip, she realised.

‘I’m sorry!’ she yelped.

‘Oh, she’s going to fight,’ he grated, dabbing at the blood. ‘I  _ love  _ it when they fight.’

‘Doctor,’ she gasped, still struggling to get her breath back. ‘Please, I’m Rose, I’m your wife, I’m carryin’ your child, please snap outta this!’

Clearly her words weren’t registering properly with him. He grinned the most evil grin she’d ever seen, and stepped forward again. 

‘HELP!’ she screamed to the skies. ‘HELP!!! SOMEONE!!!’

‘Scream a bit more, go on,’ the Doctor teased.

She slid to the floor, crying through fear and shock. She was going to die. He was going to kill her. And when he finally snapped out of it, he was going to realise what he’d done. He’d be broken – destroyed. He wouldn’t survive that.

She curled in on herself, holding her belly as she sobbed unrelentingly, her entire life falling apart.

‘I love this moment,’ the Doctor suddenly said. ‘This is the moment where you’d do anything I wanted you to, because feeling your own mortality is so very scary. I could just kill you, or I could force you to commit suicide. I could make you give up any information you have, or I could use your position in society in an operation and you are guaranteed to have complete allegiance to me. But unfortunately for you, this isn’t for intelligence or your position. This is just personal vengeance, so there’s absolutely nothing that you can say or do that’s going to save your life. But anyway. I’ve postponed this long enough. I’ve got things to do. Daleks to kill. Forms to fill.’

He knelt down next to her and grabbed her jaw, using it to throw her on the ground. The pain was inconsequential as he stepped over her.

He placed his converse on her neck. She closed her eyes.

_ ‘Look  _ at me,’ he suddenly grated. 

‘No,’ she sobbed, keeping her eyes firmly closed.

_ ’Look  _ at me!!!’ he demanded, pushing his foot a little on her neck. She choked, struggling to breathe again. A fresh onslaught of tears arrived. ‘I want you to look at me!’

She forced open her eyes, his vision swimming as she saw him towering over her, his eyes afire.

‘Good,’ he said. ‘I like to look people in the eye when I kill them. It’s polite. Any last words?’

He eased the pressure off of her neck slightly so she could talk. She gasped in air briefly, before meeting his gaze.

‘... I love you,’ she managed.

‘Nothing?’ he wondered, clearly still not hearing or seeing her properly. ‘Nothing to say? How about “I regret nothing”, or “thank you”, or even “please don’t kill me, I’m begging you, I’ll do anything”?’

‘I love you,’ she repeated.

Still he’d heard nothing. ‘Oh well, I did try,’ he said, readying himself to kill her. ‘Goodnight Vienna.’

The pause was excruciating.

Suddenly there was a clang from overhead, and seconds later something heavy landed behind the mad Doctor. The mad Doctor turned, surprised, just as hands grabbed his shoulders and swung him around to hit the opposite wall.

She recognised the outfit of the new person. It was the Doctor.

The new Doctor assumed a fighting stance, and delivered a perfectly-placed roundhouse kick to the mad Doctor’s head. The mad Doctor hit the ground, knocked out as something blue flew out of his pocket. Half a second later another person dropped down with a rope. Jack.

‘I’ve got it covered!’ Jack cried, pointing his gun at the mad Doctor. The new Doctor turned to Rose, and she immediately saw Trevor in his eyes. The calculating, relentless part of him she had feared for so long was now staring at her ...

She whimpered and cried a little more, as he advanced towards her. But as he did his face softened and his eyes lit up with the look of the Doctor she recognised.

‘Rose, he’s not real, he’s not me,’ the Doctor told her. ‘It’s a boggart. It’s just a boggart.’

She looked up, still crying and shaking. She looked across to the creature Jack was keeping at gunpoint and realised it had morphed back into the boggart’s usual form.

The Doctor stooped to her. ‘It’s a mad boggart,’ he explained carefully. ‘He’s not me. He’s not real. He was never real. Whatever he did and said wasn’t me.’

She looked at him. He was sending love through the bond as he gazed at her. She was terrified of touching him, and of him touching her.

He knew that too. ‘I understand if you’re scared of me,’ he said. ‘I promise I won’t come any nearer. But please let us help you.’

She couldn’t say anything. It took a lot of determination, but she forced herself to reach out and press a hand to his chest. He was solid, and the pleasing spark of electricity she only felt when she touched him washed through her. She felt his heartsbeat, rushing at quadruple speed.

‘He was never real,’ the Doctor said softly. He still hadn’t touched her. ‘We need to check you and Theo are okay.’

She hesitated as her brain tried desperately to adjust to the new reality. ‘It was a boggart?’ she croaked, struggling to process facts.

‘Yes,’ he said, measured and calm. 

She started crying again, hugging herself.

‘I’ll leave if you want me to,’ the Doctor said. ‘If you’re more comfortable with Jack, I understand.’

‘No,’ she gasped, and to her own surprise, she reached out a hand and took hold of his shirt, pulling him weakly to her. ‘I trust you.’

‘Are you sure?’ he asked.

She hesitated, her hand loosening its already weak grip.

‘You don’t have to. I can go,’ the Doctor said. ‘I know this is difficult.’

She burst out in another sob. ‘Please hold me.’

He paused. ‘You’re absolutely sure?’

She nodded, unable to get anymore words out.

‘If you want me to let go, just say, and I will.’

She nodded again. He slowly and carefully reached out, and wrapped his arms lightly around her. After a few seconds, she panicked a little and pushed him off. He obligingly backed away to at least a metre.

‘That took a lot of courage,’ he said. 'Well done.’

She just took his hand. He obliged, though didn’t hold too tight.

* * *

‘I woke up in an oubliette about a mile away from yours,’ the Doctor explained as they waited for the results of the scan in the TARDIS infirmary. He was still refusing to touch her of his own volition. ‘I worked out the key had been a teleport, and that you’d gone with it too and you couldn’t be far away. I still had my phone, so I called Leah to get the Tardis back to Torchwood, and then Jack to let him know what to do. Once he'd got me out, I felt you panicking. Then we started hearing you screaming for help. We got there as quick as we could. Not quick enough,’ he added mournfully. ‘But the boggart in your cell had been driven mad. It was probably overjoyed to realise someone was there with it, and had a field day.’

‘But I wasn’t solid,’ she said, her voice still shaking. ‘I couldn’t touch it. It was like I was an echo. How could it see me?’

‘The Moirai teleported me fine, but you were an unexpected passenger not in direct contact with the teleport. It would have taken a while for you to phase in. But the boggart would have sensed your presence. They’re highly telepathic, that’s how they manifest fears for people so well and so quickly. It knew you were there, and started to toy with you.’

‘But when you got there you were Trevor.’

The Doctor suddenly laughed. ‘Trevor? Is that what you call it?’

‘You know about Trevor?’ Jack asked, frowning.

‘If you mean the volatile side of me that comes out when my family is in danger? Of course I do,’ the Doctor said.

‘You remember bein’ Trevor?’ Rose asked.

He nodded, confused. ‘Why wouldn’t I?’

‘You never talk about it …’

‘Don’t think I’m proud,’ the Doctor said. ‘That part of me is dangerous.’

‘But you killed that guy …’

‘What guy?’

‘That slave owner, when I got shot. Your face went dark and you stormed after him ...’

‘Oh! I didn’t kill him. What makes you think I killed him?’

‘Your face turned, like you were gonna kill someone. All your clothes from that day disappeared. I thought …’

‘That I couldn’t get the blood out?’ the Doctor wondered. ‘Actually it was because after he shot you, “Trevor” emerged and I threw the slave owner into a septic tank. I got it all over me. I couldn’t risk infecting you so I stripped and left my clothes there.’

Jack snorted with laughter. ‘Are you serious?’

‘You never told me ...’ Rose muttered.

‘That I ran half a mile to the Tardis, completely naked, carrying you?’ the Doctor suggested. ‘That was right at the start of our relationship. I didn’t think it was going to get me any brownie points. Besides, you’ve never asked about what happened.’

‘But Brax said it was like assassin mode, somethin’ to do with the Time War …’ Rose said, wide-eyed. ‘Like conditionin’.’

‘It probably is,’ the Doctor confessed. ‘But this isn’t the Time War. Trevor’s only purpose now is to protect my bonded partner and my children. I can’t help it, and I’m so sorry if it scares you. But all Trevor wants to do is save your life. He’s not something for you to be afraid of.’

The scanner beeped to indicate the scan was complete. 

The Doctor checked, and nodded approvingly. ‘Okay, you’re fine, Theo’s fine,’ he announced. ‘Bit of bruising on the neck but it’s superficial.’

Rose nodded, and looked at Jack. ‘Can you give us a few minutes?’

Jack looked at the Doctor, hesitating.

‘Rose,’ the Doctor said quickly. ‘I don’t know what the boggart did and said, but I can have a really good guess. I know you might feel uncomfortable around me, and I understand that, and that’s okay. I asked Jack to stay here no matter what so that you can feel safe.’

‘But I need to prove to myself that I’m not scared of you,’ she said quietly.

‘Don’t feel you have to prove anything. If you need Jack here to feel safe, I completely get it. It’s going to take some time for you to get past some barriers. Any feelings you have towards me we can work out later, but for now, I need you to feel relaxed. You’ve had a serious mental trauma. This might take some time. Don’t force anything on yourself, please. Besides, anything you say here doesn’t leave this room. Right, Jack?’

The immortal nodded. 'Goes no further.’

She swallowed. 'I don't want to be scared of my own husband.’

'I know. What happened exactly?’ he asked, and she explained what had gone on. By the end of it he was looking very sad. 

'It was like the solitary was makin’ you crazy all over again,’ she said. 'I couldn't do anythin’.’

He gazed at her for a moment. 'The boggart was playing with you in a macabre way. After I got out of solitary and back to you, I told you what happened to my psyche when I was imprisoned, and the boggart read your mind and played out what I told you. I told you that I pretended to talk to you. I told you I hallucinated you and when the hallucination changed to an Architect I attacked it. Of course, originally there was no one there and I did nothing to anyone, but the boggart put it on you. The boggart took what you knew and made it real. But it wasn't. No matter how mad I was, I would never hurt you. Trevor would stop me. The bond wouldn't let me.’

'It was like a Time War you.’

‘Who I was in the Time War and who I am now are two completely different people,’ the Doctor said. ‘Time War me was made for a purpose, a purpose that is no longer needed. You should know that. You’ve been in a bit of my Time War memories. Was he anything like me?’

She shook her head. ‘No. He was nothin’ like you.’

‘I know it’s difficult to understand since I regenerate, but that man’s dead now. He’s gone. I’m nothing like what I used to be, and a lot of that I owe to you,’ he said. ‘Think of him as one of my ancestors. I might have his blood, but we’re not the same, and we never will be.’

'Okay.’

He smiled at her reassuringly. ‘Go to bed and get some rest, okay?’

'I don't think I can sleep.’

‘I can give you something that'll help you drift off if you like,’ he offered. 'Dreamless.’

After a moment, she nodded.

‘Get yourself to bed,’ he said. ‘Don't worry, I won't come in, okay?’

Silently, she nodded again.

* * *

‘This is so messed up,’ Jack said seriously to the Doctor three hours later as they sat together in the kitchen. Rose had gone to bed, and the Doctor wasn’t going near the door.

'I know,’ the Doctor muttered. ‘But the boggart scared her out of her wits and it's going to take her a while to feel normal again.’

‘Actually I was talking about that,’ Jack said, pointing to the two new keys on the table in front of the Doctor. One from the zoo boggart, and one that had dropped from the mad boggart in Volag-noc.

‘Yeah,’ the Doctor agreed, picking one up and shivering slightly at the feeling. He paused for a moment. ‘Jack, if your life was starting to seem predetermined, would you go with it, or would you try to fight it?’

Jack frowned, looking at him. ‘I have no idea.’

‘We weren’t even looking for the keys. They were just there. The most difficult things to find in the universe and we can't barely stop ourselves tripping over them. They're in all the places we've been before. They’re just coinciding with what we’re doing. We’re in the right place at the right time, doing the right thing.’

‘But that's like destiny,’ Jack realised.

‘I know. So do you accept and follow this predetermined path, or do you fight it?’

'I think  _ you're _ the expert on the future,’ Jack pointed out.

‘Am I?’ the Doctor asked vaguely.

‘Did you look at this vision yet?’ Jack asked.

The Doctor shook his head. ‘Is there even any point?’ he wondered. ‘We’ll probably walk right into it.’

‘Well, d’you wanna go with this or fight it?’

‘I don’t believe in fate,’ the Doctor said firmly. ‘There are fixed points and certain things have to happen, but this isn’t one. We’re not in a fixed point.’ He swallowed, and looked at Jack. ‘I think I want to fight it, because I don’t want to believe everything is predetermined.’

‘If you wanna do that, then you gotta look at the vision,’ Jack pointed out. ‘So you know what you need to avoid.’

The Doctor sighed, running his hands through his hair and dropping back to slouch in his chair. He raised his left hand, glancing at Jack, who nodded. 

‘You got two keys?’ Leah suddenly shouted happily, running into the room. 

The Doctor recoiled his hand, startled. ‘Can you not do that?’ he moaned.

‘Sorry,’ she said and ran up to the table, resting her chin on it to look at the keys. ‘I thought you weren’t gonna do ‘em anymore?’

‘I thought that too,’ the Doctor agreed. 'Yet here we are.’

‘Can I come on the next one?’ she asked eagerly.

'I don't even know what it is,’ he said.

‘Can I anyway?’

‘We’re not going after it,’ the Doctor said firmly.

‘Why not?’

‘We’re just not.’

‘But it’s fun.’

‘Just trust me, okay? This is something we don’t need to do.’

Leah looked incredibly disappointed, but accepted it. ‘Is Mummy okay? She’s been in your room all day.’

‘Yeah, she’ll be fine,’ he said. ‘She’s just had a bit of a shock and needs a bit of peace and quiet for a while.’

She nodded, and hugged him without prompt.

He stroked back her hair. ‘Hey ... are you scared of me?’ 

‘Um, no,’ Leah said, confused. ‘Um, well, I think you’re nice, but you’re a bit dumb sometimes.’

Jack snorted with laughter as the Doctor pulled a mock look of aghast. ‘Thanks very much,’ he replied. ‘Can’t please you, can I?’

She giggled. ‘I love you, Daddy.’

‘I love you too,’ he replied, kissing her. 

‘Can we do more school?’ she asked.

‘Oh, yeah. What lesson are we having next?’

‘Bonds.’

‘Ah, okay. Get into the study, I’ll be there in a minute,’ the Doctor told her.

'Okay!’ she said happily, and ran off.

‘Can I come?’ Jack asked.

‘You want a lesson?’ the Doctor asked.

‘Call me intrigued,’ Jack replied.

The Doctor shrugged and gestured. ‘This way.’


	16. Bonding 101

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor teaches Leah about bonding, before concocting a plan to make Rose feel better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unlike most other things I do, bonding is strictly a creation of fan-lore, so isn't reflective whatsoever of accurate Who. But it's a fun concept either way :D
> 
> There is a small smidgen of smut towards the end, but believe me, it doesn't get far :P

‘Right then, class,’ the Doctor began, facing Jack and Leah as he leant on the desk. ‘Bonding.’

Jack had never been in the study before. It was strange how much this room looked like a Victorian classroom, with a couple of desks and books lining the walls, and a blackboard. Jack looked at Leah sitting at the desk next to him, who was already scribbling something down in gallifreyan. ‘Should I be taking notes?’ he wondered.

‘Shush!’ Leah demanded.

‘All right, sorry,’ Jack said, folding his arms and staring at the teacher.

The Doctor snorted with laughter, and picked up a piece of chalk. He jotted a few gallifreyan symbols, and then wrote the word ‘bonding’ beneath it.

‘My god, you use a blackboard?’ Jack asked.

‘What’s wrong with a blackboard?’ the Doctor wondered, pausing.

‘You’re an alien who lives on a spaceship and you use a blackboard.’

‘Uncle Jack!’ Leah moaned. 

‘Sorry,’ he said again.

The Doctor rolled his eyes. ‘Leah, I’ll teach this all in English for Uncle Jack.’

‘Okay,’ she said, and quickly made a note on the corner of her writing pad.

‘Bonding. Bonding, in summary, is a physical and mental connection between two people,’ the Doctor said, drawing two stick figures next to each other and connecting them with a line. ‘Think of it like a bit of rope, attached to your body and your mind, connected to someone else. These two people are usually related like me and you, Leah, or very, very close, like me and Mum.’

‘Can you form a bond with anyone, though?’ Jack wondered.

‘Uncle Jack!’ Leah complained again.

‘Hey, I’m just asking,’ Jack protested.

‘If you wanna ask a question you stick your hand in the air and say “haal-gea”,’ Leah informed him, demonstrating. ‘Then Daddy will say “haal”, and then you can ask.’

Jack blinked, hearing a tangle of syllables that he was sure he couldn’t even begin to pronounce. ‘Um, what?’

‘Just stick your hand up and say “question”,’ the Doctor said.

Jack promptly raised his hand. ‘Question.’

‘Ask,’ the Doctor said.

Jack paused. ‘Errr … I’ve forgotten what I asked.’

Leah giggled as the Doctor sighed, turned, wrote Jack’s name on the board and put a mark next to it.

‘Hey, what’s that for?’ Jack wondered.

‘That’s a mark for disrupting class,’ the Doctor told him. ‘You want to be a Time Lord? You’ve gotta learn like a Time Lord. Five marks and you’re ousted from the class. To get back in you have to take an exam. If you fail it, you’ll never pass the class, and you’ll never be a Time Lord.’

‘That’s a bit harsh,’ Jack complained.

The Doctor put another mark next to his name.

‘Hey!’

Another mark went up.

Jack shut his mouth.

‘Right,’ the Doctor began again with a beaming smile. ‘You can form a bond with anything that’s telepathic, so that’s pretty much every species in the universe, although you will have varying degrees of success depending on how much telepathic capability they have.’

He drew a line, and on one side wrote “natural”, and on the other side wrote “artificial”. ‘First of all, placing the bond. There are two types of bond placement. Natural, where it occurs between gallifreyans naturally,’ he explained, jotting notes in the natural column, ‘or artificially, which is one you place yourself. My bond to you, Leah, is natural, and mum’s is artificial. When it’s natural, it forms between gallifreyans before they’re born. When you were inside Mum’s tummy, Leah, I naturally connected with you on a basic bond level. And it’s growing all the time. As you get older, it gets stronger. When you reach First Maturation, it’ll be fully established. Right now, because you’re so young, I can feel you more than you can feel me.’

‘Question!’ Jack said, raising his hand.

‘Ask,’ the Doctor replied.

‘What’s First Maturation?’

‘It’s the moment where a gallifreyan becomes an adult,’ the Doctor replied. ‘For me, it was 200-years-old, for Leah, being womb-born, it’ll probably be around fourteen or fifteen.’

‘Ah, okay,’ Jack said, and watched as the Doctor wiped away one of his strikes. 

‘Interesting questions reduce your marks,’ the Doctor explained as Jack frowned, confused.

‘Oh, nice,’ Jack said, and grinned. 

‘My one to mum is artificial, which means I placed it myself. Doing this requires a ritual of a kind. You need a bit of an adhesive when you apply it to a lifeform not acutely telepathic, so you create a “bond potion”, which is essentially a kind of chemical that can enhance telepathic capabilities. For the drinker, It heightens their telepathic receptiveness, sinking them into an impressionable state. When me and your mum did it, went into the Zero Room so we couldn’t have any interference, your mum drank that, and when she was in a physical stupor, I went inside her head and essentially tied myself to her.’

‘So you basically drugged her,’ Jack said.

The Doctor rolled his eyes and put the mark back up. Jack sighed, and shut up.

‘You should never,  _ ever  _ attempt to create a bonding potion without knowing exactly what you’re doing,’ the Doctor continued. ‘You need exactly the right amounts of ingredients specific to that individual person, else you might cause permanent brain damage.’

'Haal-gea,’ Leah said.

'Haal,’ the Doctor cued.

'If bonds between gallifreyans are natural, then why do I need to make an artificial one with Uncle Brax?’ Leah asked.

‘Being in Volag-Noc blocked him off. I couldn't feel him, he couldn't feel me, so there's no chance he would know about you. By the time he was unblocked, it was too late. If you wanted to bond with him, I would have to help you to open up your telepathic area since you're still quite young.’

'Okay!’ Leah said, furiously taking notes.

‘The strength of the bond relies on your relationship with that person. The natural bond fluctuates in strength as the years go by, but an artificial bond needs the two people to be absolutely and completely at ease with each other when it's placed. Before me and your mum bonded, we talked for hours about everything we were feeling and thinking, and anything we hadn't told each other about ourselves, so we were hiding nothing from each other. Once we were both content, I did it.

‘A bond usually has three distinct classifying features - guard, respect, and love. When it's a natural bond, these features develop at different rates by themselves. My bond to you, Leah, is developing as predominantly guard, so my bond’s priority is to keep you safe. When the bond is artificial, you have to designate these features yourself. When I made the bond with your mum, I predominantly made it love. Then, once the bond’s up and running, you know it's there.'

'Haal-gea,’ Leah said.

'Haal.’

'What does it feel like?’

'Well, that changes depending on what type of bond you have.’ The Doctor thought about that. ‘With mum, it feels like something inside my chest, sitting between my hearts. Something warm. Something good. Something that sings when she's close and cries when she's far away. Something that wants her to be with me all day every day.’

‘Cute,’ Jack said, grinning.

'What about me?’ Leah asked.

'You? You're in here,’ he said, pointing to his core, just below his ribs. ‘Something to protect and nurture, to keep warm and safe.’

‘What about your mum?’ Jack wondered.

'Here,’ the Doctor said, his hand resting on the area where his collar bones met, just at the base of his throat. ‘In every breath.’

‘What about Brax?’ Jack asked.

‘End of my left big toe, I think,’ the Doctor joked, and moved on quickly, keeping up to date with his notes on the blackboard. ‘The bond does several things. Primarily, it allows you to feel the emotions, cravings, and physical nature of the person you're bonded to. I can sense you and mum, and how you're feeling. We can also feel physical injuries, which usually manifests itself as tingling, like pins and needles. You can’t actually manipulate other people’s emotions, but you can encourage them. You can push emotions across the bond, which they’ll receive. Like when your mum was feeling really, really scared, I pushed love through the bond. It’s not a fix, but it’s a crutch for them.

‘Another thing the bond does is make you safe. No matter how out of your mind you are, you will never ever harm someone with a strong bond to you. It's just not physically possible. You can probably throw a light punch, but you can't kill them or cause any real damage. The instinct to shield, love, and respect is too strong.’

'Question,’ Jack said.

'Ask.’

'What if you  _ don't  _ have a strong bond? Can you punch ‘em hard?’

'Oh, punch away,’ the Doctor replied. 'If your relationship with that person goes a bit south, the bond is less potent, and you can do what you want. The instincts aren't strong enough. Essentially, the bond relies on the health of the relationship. But that’s always a slow degradation. You wouldn’t be able to do that after one snap argument – that kind of thing could take years.’

He took a mark off of Jack's name for an interesting question. Jack beamed.

‘Additionally, the instinct to protect is so strong for me, that if anyone or anything was to threaten either you or Mum, Leah, I will quite literally fly into an instinctive fight response to protect. I’ve done it several times before. Namely, earlier today when Mum was being threatened.’

‘Question,’ Jack said.

‘Ask.’

‘Like when you KO’d the Master?’ Jack wondered.

‘Exactly like when I, um, “KO’d” the Master,’ the Doctor affirmed.

‘When did you do that?’ Leah asked.

Jack explained, ‘when your mum was pregnant with you, the Master basically had one of his little power trips. He was threatening your mum. Your dad had a flip, and then smacked the Master’s head into the wall and knocked him out.’

‘Oh,’ Leah said, looking confused. ‘But you don’t hurt people, Daddy.’

‘Hey, I’m not proud,’ the Doctor said. ‘But that’s what your bonded partner and unborn child being threatened does to you.’

‘The Master did deserve it, though,’ Jack reasoned. ‘I really enjoyed it, anyway. Now there’s a guy I’d never tire of punching.’

‘Next,’ the Doctor continued, ignoring him, ‘although the bond can never be removed, you can block it. When this happens, this means that you’ll feel like your bonded person is feeling fine all the time, no matter how they actually feel, or in some cases you won’t feel the bond at all. And lastly …’ the Doctor wrote “death” on the board in big letters. ‘If someone with a bond dies, it can be very, very difficult. The bond suddenly severs, and if there’s no support from another bond, then it could send you insane.’

‘Like your future self,’ Jack realised, and looked at confused Leah. ‘Before you were born.’

‘Can you stop talking about things I wasn’t born for?’ Leah complained.

‘Oh no, this is important,’ the Doctor said. ‘In an alternative future that we prevented, you and your mum both died, and my future self had nothing left. Both of the bonds had been severed and in that case, madness is an inevitability. He was trying to keep it together, but he’d already gone insane. He was completely broken. In addition to that, his body reacted badly. He was having seizures, his bone density had dropped, he was very, very fragile in body and mind. He would have successfully killed himself if he’d not had the idea to change his own past, which is an insane notion in itself for a Time Lord. In the end, he sacrificed himself quite willingly to save us. He wasn’t afraid to die. In his head he thought he had nothing to live for.’

‘Oh,’ Leah muttered, looking sad.

‘Yeah,’ the Doctor agreed. ‘But that’s very rare and very unlikely to happen. And that’s about it for bonding, I think.’ He set down the chalk, and looked at them both. ‘Any questions?’

Jack looked at Leah. Leah looked at Jack. Neither of them said anything.

‘Then congratulations, you’ve both passed the lesson,’ the Doctor said, grinning.

Jack reached up to give Leah a high-five. She obliged, smiled sweetly, and closed her notebook.

* * *

Two weeks later, and the Doctor still hadn’t looked at the next vision. Jack had been right, but despite this, he still didn’t want to look. He just couldn’t bring himself to. Not only was he terrified of his life being entirely pre-determined, he was also nervous about the key landing him in a situation like last time. He couldn’t be away from Rose – not at this time.

Rose had managed to convince him that Jack could go back to full-time Torchwood, but that was as far as it had gone. Despite her efforts not to be, she was still scared of him. The TARDIS remained parked in the Hub, and the Doctor was back to doing work for Jack, with the occasional ghost-like appearance from Rose, clearly trying to be normal. He was sleeping in a spare room, away from her. He had to announce his presence before he entered a room she was in, and do slow movements around her. He understood fully why, but that didn’t make him feel any better about it. His wife was now twenty-nine weeks pregnant with their second child and he couldn’t touch her. They hadn’t had any kind of a conversation in that time. They were effectively separated.

He couldn’t even discuss his problems with her. As week 29 hit, he was finding moving around a challenge in itself as it didn’t take too much for him to be short of breath. He was still constipated, and although his harpoon wound had finally cleared up to leave only a scar, his abdomen was hurting. He was also trying to find a toilet every hour to wee like Manneken Pis, as Jack had so politely informed him when the Doctor had been making tea. Right after that, the Doctor’s mood crashed and he’d thrown the mugs at the wall. Jack hadn’t mentioned his toilet habits since. 

A couple more days of barely seeing Rose languished by, and the Doctor decided he’d had enough. He was pining for her. The bond was protesting at her absence. He was borderline miserable, and he wasn’t used to feeling so alone these days. He didn’t like it. He made a decision, and at 6pm knocked on the door of their room.

‘It’s me,’ he announced. ‘Can I come in?’

‘Um, okay,’ Rose replied, and he opened the door.

He hadn’t set foot in their room with her in it for a fortnight, so Rose looked a little shocked to see him there, curling in on herself a little. He offered her a smile.

‘I’m through with this,’ he told her. ‘I need you. So I’m going to fix this. I’ve got a plan.’

‘Yeah?’ she asked.

‘You’re scared of me because you think I’m out of control, right? You feel you can’t predict me?’

She nodded slowly.

‘Then let’s sort that out,’ he said, and straightened up. ‘From now until tomorrow morning, I’ll give up my autonomy and do absolutely anything you tell me to. Go.’

Rose blinked. ‘Um, what?’

‘Give me an order,’ he told her.

‘Oh,’ she muttered, frowning. ‘Um … geez, this doesn’t feel right.’

‘It’s going to help a lot,’ the Doctor told her. ‘I’ll do anything you ask me to. Absolutely anything.’

She thought for a moment. ‘Um, lift up your right arm.’

He promptly did so.

‘Okay, put up your left arm with it.’

He raised the other.

‘Wiggle your fingers.’

He did. She laughed. He stayed completely deadpan.

‘Okay, that’s weird,’ she said. ‘Laugh so it doesn’t feel weird.’

‘Hahaha,’ the Doctor delivered on cue, still wiggling his fingers.

She laughed more. ‘Oh, that didn’t help that weirdness. Okay, put your arms down.’

He did.

‘Sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.’

‘Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are …’ he sang in a somewhat creepy high-pitched voice, ‘up above the clouds so high, like a diamond in the sky, twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are.’

She laughed again. ‘Oh god, this is fun. Okay, sing the Teletubbies Theme.’

‘Short or extended?’ he asked.

‘There’s an extended version? Do that!’

‘Time for Teletubbies! Time for Teletubbies! Time for Teletubbies! Time for Teletubbies! Tinky-Winky, Dipsy, Lala, Po! Teletubbies, Teletubbies, say hell-oh! Eh oh! Tinky-Winky, Dipsy, Lala, Po! Teletubbies, Teletubbies, say hell-oh! Eh oh!’ he sang loudly with all the appropriate voices.

‘Oh my god,’ she only just managed to get out through the laughter.

‘Baa baa baa baa baa-baa-baa-baa-baa! Baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa! Tinky-Winky, Dipsy, Lala, Po! Teletubbies, Teletubbies, big huuug! Mary Mary quite contrary, how does your garden grow? With silver bells and cockle shells and pretty maids all in a row! I’m so glad that’s finished, what a terrible racket! Again, again! Tinky-Winky, Dipsy, Lala, Po! Teletubbies, Teletubbies, say hell-oh! Eh oh! Tinky-Winky, Dipsy, Lala, Po! Teletubbies, Teletubbies, say hell-oh! Big huuug!’

Rose couldn’t do anything for laughing, her face hurting from the amount of smiling she was doing, but she didn’t care. ‘Oh god, okay, sing the Tweenies theme … but in gallifreyan.’

‘Cheyy, cheyy, eon’ber’hii-n? Cherr ara hii terna Tweenies! Cheyy, cheyy, joh’eon’holl? Cherr ara hii terna Tweenies! Loo terna kai, hii terna kai, i’berr ara ai-vee ara wi-holl! Shaa terna kai, almm terna kai, shikla, joh’lei’eon’holl? Cenio … Cherr ara hii-n! Ei’Bella! Ei’Milo! Ei’Fizz! Ei’Jake! Ei’Doodles! Cherr ara hii-n!’

‘Oh my god, stop!’ Rose begged, crying with laughter.

‘I’m not done yet,’ the Doctor protested. 

‘Stop, just stop!’

‘Stopping,’ he said, grinning a little. ‘You know, gallifreyan is a deeply respected language revered by my people and the universe alike for its infinite complexity and majesty, and I’ve just used it to sing the Tweenies.’

She laughed again. ‘Go get me some tea.’

He mock saluted and left immediately. She quickly retrieved a notepad and pen, and started to jot things down. When he came back with a cup of tea and a plate of biscuits, she gave it to him.

‘What’s this?’ he asked.

‘A list of things for you to do in Torchwood in front of everyone,’ Rose replied, her tongue between her teeth.

The Doctor looked at the list. ‘All of them?’

‘All of them,’ she confirmed.

‘You’re loving this, aren’t you?’

‘Maybe,’ she replied, beaming.

‘This last one too?’ he queried, pointing. ‘Every time someone says my name I’ve gotta start singing and dancing “I’m A Little Teapot”?’

She snorted. ‘Yeah.’

He sighed. ‘Well, I asked for it,’ he supposed.

‘You’re gonna do it?’

‘Of course I am,’ the Doctor replied. ‘I said I would.’

* * *

After Rose had finished her tea, they left to go out into Torchwood. They met Leah enroute and explained the situation. She giggled, and followed eagerly through the console room and out of the doors. Everyone was gathered by Gwen’s computer, locked in discussion. On the family’s arrival, Jack looked up.

‘Oh, hey,’ he said.

Rose jabbed the Doctor in the back. He nodded, strolled straight up to Jack, grabbed his face in both hands and kissed him. 

Everyone immediately stopped talking as they watched, confused and mesmerized by the sight before the Doctor finally pulled back.

'... What?’ Jack managed to get out as everyone stared.

The Doctor immediately held up his hands and closed his eyes, his head to the heavens. ‘I pledge allegiance to the Mighty Rabbit of Agmorra!’ he declared.

Everyone continued to stare at him.

'Are you okay?’ Jack asked seriously.

The Doctor put his arm around Jack, gesturing and looking into the distance. 'Come, comrade, we shall fly on the magic carpet to the land of Garbo to consult the Monkey Man!’

'Oh my God, he's actually lost it,’ Jackie muttered.

'Has he hit his head?’ Gwen wondered.

'Rose, Leah, what the hell’s wrong with him?’ Jack asked the girls standing in the doorway, but they were in fits of laughter.

Whilst they'd been discussing his mental state, the Doctor had slipped off his shoes and placed them in the middle of the group. ‘Praise! Praise! Praise the shoes, blessed by the Mighty Rabbit of Agmorra!’ He threw out his hands to take theirs. 'Everyone, form a circle and praise!’

Everyone was too stupefied to do anything but join in as Rose’s laughter shot up an octave.

The Doctor began to move so they were circling his shoes. 'Praise! Praise!’

'Doctor, you're …’

The Doctor immediately dropped his hands at Jack's words. 'I'm a little teapot short and stout, here's my handle here's my spout …’ he sang with the appropriate moves.

'Doctor!’ Jackie cried.

'I’m a little teapot short and stout …’ he started again.

'Rose, seriously, what's going on?’ Jack shouted, looking at her, but she and Leah were crying with laughter.

'When the kettle's boiling hear me shout! Tip me up and pour me out!’ the Doctor completed.

'This is a prank,’ Jack reasoned. 'Gotta be a prank.’

'Shush!’ the Doctor suddenly said, his face becoming incredibly serious. 

'What?’ Ianto asked as, bizarrely, everyone promptly fell silent.

'Listen!’ the Doctor implored in a whisper.

'To what?’ Jackie wanted to know, also whispering.

'Can you hear that?’

'What?’ Gwen asked.

'It's the sound of …’ – he paused briefly – '... Oxygen.’

There was a long, long silence.

'Seriously, Doctor …’ Jack tried again.

The Doctor immediately and loudly started singing and dancing again. 'I'm a little teapot short and stout! Here's my handle, here's my spout!’

‘He needs a psychiatrist,’ Jackie said, wide-eyed. 

‘Fire! Fire! Fire!!!’ the Doctor suddenly screamed, and ran back inside the TARDIS.

‘Rose?’ Jack tried again, stupefied. 

Rose tried to get some words out, but completely failed. Instead, she waved a hand, and followed the Doctor inside.

* * *

Six hours later, it was turning out to be one of the best days of Rose’s life. The Doctor had been taking every order she’d been giving him, including reciting the alphabet backwards, doing a cartwheel, bouncing on the bed until he had no breath left, eating three tubs of ice cream within eight minutes, and attempting to break the world record for the longest time spent spinning a basketball on the end of a toothbrush stuck in his mouth. 

After that, he’d cooked her her favourite dinner whilst dressed and acting as a French waiter. He’d then made some chocolate brownies, and on Rose’s whim had poured an entire bag of flour over himself. Still covered in flour, he then ran her a bubble bath with the most bubbles she’d ever seen in her life. Whilst she was taking it, he stayed in the next room, repeatedly belting out a passionate rendition of Figaro’s Aria from the Barber of Seville.

When she re-emerged he was just finishing his eighty-fifth aria, still caked in flour. She realised that whilst she’d never been more attracted to him in her life, she’d been a little mean and ordered him to have a shower. 

When he finished, he poked his head around the door, his hair all standing on end. ‘Um, Rose, I don’t have any clothes to change into here.’

‘That’s okay,’ she said. ‘Come out here and lie on the bed.’

He frowned a little. ‘Are you sure?’

‘Yeah.’

He came out, completely naked, and dropped down onto the bed.

‘Lie face up, spread-eagled.’

He did what she told him to, but looked a little concerned. ‘You don’t have to do this.’

‘It’s okay,’ she said. 

‘Don’t do anything because you feel you have to.’ 

‘Nah, I want to,’ she told him. ‘I want to feel you again. Besides, I’m in control, yeah?’

He nodded. ‘Always.’

‘Then for the next two hours you don’t say anythin’. You just do exactly what I tell you to. Is that okay?’

‘If it’s okay with you,’ the Doctor replied.

Still fully clothed, she moved to straddle him. The Doctor gasped and winced quite badly.

‘What?’ she asked.

‘You’re carrying around a lot more weight these days,’ he managed to squeak out, pointing at her belly.

‘Deal with it,’ she replied, and leant forward to kiss him. The problem was, her belly was so large it took some core strength she didn’t have to get low enough to do it, and then she struggled up again, the whole thing taking about two minutes. By the end of that one kiss, they were both sweating and out of breath.

‘Rose, please, I know I’m meant to take orders but I’m in serious pain here, you’re crushing my kidneys …’ he whined.

She rocked back, trying to catch her breath. He shrieked loudly. Alarmed, she resumed her previous position.

‘What did I do?’ she asked, wide-eyed.

‘You sat your entire weight on my …’

‘Oh god, I’m sorry,’ she gasped. She hauled herself off, and he gratefully took in some air. Then they just laid there, both sweating and gasping.

‘Shall we just pretend we did it?’ she wondered, panting.

‘Well, it feels like we did,’ he replied.

They both laughed, looking at each other. ‘I’m sorry,’ she suddenly said.

‘Don’t worry, I’m getting feeling back in my legs, now,’ he assured her.

‘I mean about the past few weeks.’

‘Oh,’ he realised. ‘It’s okay. I understand.’

‘Look at you,’ she said, looking at him lying there gasping, naked, thin, and probably about to come up in bruises from having a thirteen and a half stone plonked straight onto him. ‘How the hell can I be scared of that?’

‘Well, thanks,’ he said insincerely, rolling his eyes.

She giggled. ‘You know what I mean.’

He smiled. ‘Can I sit up?’ he asked.

‘Yeah.’

He struggled up onto his elbows, still panting. ‘Thanks.’

Her eyes dropped to where his harpoon wound was. Due to their temporary separation, she’d not known how it was. ‘Oh god, I didn’t even think. How’s your stomach?’

He followed her gaze to the scar. ‘It’s fine, that wasn’t the problem,’ he assured her. ‘It was the general crushing of my midriff and lower regions.’

‘So you’re healed?’

‘Yes.’

‘Good,’ she said, reaching out to take his arm. ‘Can you sleep here, tonight?’

‘Of course I can, if that’s what you want,’ he replied.

‘Kiss me.’

He edged over and did so. She smiled and ran her hand over his face. Their dire attempt to have sex had taken so little time that his hair wasn’t even dry.

She rolled over onto her other side. ‘Hold me,’ she said.

He did, wrapping his arms around her from behind. 

‘Night,’ she said, utterly content.

‘Nighty night,’ he replied.


	17. The Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor is taken to the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, were you having fluffy fun in the last chapter? I apologise ... :P

‘Ready?’ Rose asked.

The Doctor looked at them all – Rose, Leah, and Jack, standing over him as he sat on the chair of the console room, the next key in his right hand, ready to transfer to the left. ‘Yes.’

‘Got your phone?’

He nodded.

‘Remember, if it takes you somewhere …’

‘I know, call you so you can come and get me,’ the Doctor said. ‘I wasn’t quite sure the fifteenth time you told me, but now I’m clear.’

‘Hey, don’t be sarcastic,’ she reprimanded him, lightly hitting his shoulder and grinning.

He beamed back, and nodded to them. ‘Okay, here goes nothing.’

‘Good luck,’ Jack said.

The Doctor looked at Leah, who smiled sweetly. He quickly kissed her, and then offered his final smile, before throwing the key to his left hand.

* * *

He opened his eyes, and realised he was still sitting in the chair in the console room, but Jack, Rose and Leah were nowhere to be seen. It was eerily silent.

‘Hello?’ he called. No response.

He frowned, standing up and checking his wrist. No hairband. He must have been teleported, which made no sense since the TARDIS was steeled to teleport attacks. He should have been caught in a temporal prison. He fished out his phone, making to dial Rose, when he realised the date on the device.

**3rd April 2029**

2029? 

Two people suddenly emerged from the adjoining corridor, both of them talking furiously with each other. One was a blond teenage boy, and the other the Doctor knew immediately was Leah as a young woman.

Before he had a chance to process that, they both looked up, saw him, and stopped dead.

‘You escaped,’ the boy realised.

‘No, wait,’ Leah said, her hand in the air. ‘That’s not him.’

‘But it looks like him,’ the boy pointed out. ‘You mean it’s a shapeshifter?’

Leah hesitated, frowning. In response to this, the boy bravely marched straight up to the Doctor. ‘Who are you and why do you look like the Doctor?’ he demanded to know.

The Doctor decided to be frank. ‘I  _ am  _ the Doctor, and I think … I think I’ve time travelled.’

Leah’s eyes widened. ‘Oh, wait! I remember. This is when you’re trying to find the Moirai, isn’t it?’

He nodded, puzzled. ‘You know?’

‘When you came back you said you travelled to the future and met us,’ Leah replied.

‘Oh!’ the boy exclaimed, clearly remembering something he’d been told at some point in his life. ‘That  _ thing!’ _

The Doctor looked at the boy again, considering his thick uncontrollable blond hair, his lean build, his prominent jawline, his brown eyes. A perfect example of genetic inheritance between him and Rose. Now he knew exactly who he was. ‘Theo.’

Theo mock saluted. ‘Hey, Dad.’

‘You haven’t been born yet for him,’ Leah told Theo.

‘Aww, sucks,’ Theo joked.

‘What’s going on here?’ the Doctor asked them. ‘Where is everyone?’

‘We had an ambush,’ Theo told him. ‘Uncle Jack called us to help out with something. He was being all vague about it cos I don’t think he knew what it was, really. Soon as we got here we got ambushed. Everyone else got taken off somewhere. Me and Leah are only here cos we were still in the Tardis when it happened.’

‘Taken by what?’ the Doctor asked.

‘We don’t know for sure,’ Leah replied.

‘It was so weird,’ Theo said. ‘I saw the one that took Mum on the Tardis monitor. They were like shadows. It just kinda appeared, then dropped down onto Mum and wrapped itself around her, and then it disappeared, taking Mum with it. Look, I’ll show you.’

He ran over to the monitor, tapped a few buttons and turned the screen to them. There they watched exactly what he’d described.

‘I thought it could be something from the Howling Halls,’ Leah said as it finished.

The Doctor nodded. ‘Seems like an Elemental Shade of some sort. Which is very, very bad news.’

‘Why?’ Theo asked.

‘Because after Elemental Shades abduct their prey, it’s about twenty minutes until the person returns, dead.’

There was a brief silence.

‘How long has it been?’ the Doctor asked them.

‘About ten minutes …’

‘So, we’ve got ten minutes,’ the Doctor surmised. ‘Plenty of time. What’s your plan?’

‘I think sonic waves can shock them,’ Leah said quickly. ‘We were gonna get ourselves abducted, then activate sonics, so we could get to wherever they’ve taken everyone but not get caught in the same trap. Then we’ve got these.’ She held up some small device, and Theo held up a second. ‘It’s a teleport primed to go back to the Hub. Carries four people. So with me, Theo, you, real Dad, Mum, Gran, Uncle Jack, and Kiki, we should be able to take everyone at the same time.’

‘How many uses?’

‘Just one for each.’ Leah paused. ‘... You think we need more?’

‘Nope, one is perfect,’ the Doctor assured her. ‘Right, everyone got something that can emit sonic waves?’

Leah dug into her pocket, and held up what looked like a customised version of the sonic screwdriver. It was classy-looking, silver and gold with a rubber handle grip. Theo did the same, holding up another version of the sonic screwdriver, coloured in metallic blue with a few flashy lights on it. The Doctor completed the group by holding up his own. He beamed, delighted.

Theo held his up to meet in the middle, the Doctor and Leah copying in turn. ‘All for one… ’ Theo began.

‘And one for all!’ they all chorused, grinning.

‘Let’s go!’ Theo yelled with delight, and ran out of the TARDIS door.

‘Theo!’ Leah cried, but he was already gone. She looked at her dad. ‘He’s always like this,’ she told him, and followed.

* * *

They emerged out of the TARDIS and into Torchwood. All the lights were on, but it was quiet. 

‘So what do we do?’ Theo asked. 

‘Wait,’ the Doctor said. 

‘What, just stand here and wait to be – AGH!’

Theo yelped as something black swooped on him, enveloping him.

‘Theo!’ Leah yelled in alarm, making to move forward, but the Doctor quickly stopped her as he vanished.

‘Wait,’ he repeated, his eyes scouring the room. Then, seconds later, something black moved in front of him, and he was enveloped.

It felt like being wrapped up in a black duvet to suffocating proportions, but he didn’t struggle. He felt himself being moved. Five seconds later, he activated his sonic. The shadow seemed to quiver, and three seconds later the blackness disappeared and he was heading to the ground.

He landed on his side, rolling a little to spring back up to his feet. Theo was already up, helping up his sister.

The Doctor looked around. It was dark, and it was some kind of cave with a sandy ground. They stood in a tunnel, and at the end of the tunnel was a large room, two metres deep in what looked like pink jelly. A Shade nest, the Doctor realised, and everyone would have been plopped straight into the jelly. He caught sight of what must have been his future self’s converse-clad foot, poking out of the jelly.

‘They’re in the larder, ready to go,’ the Doctor said, pointing to the jelly.

‘Is that Dad?’ Theo asked anxiously, running to the foot.

‘Don’t touch the web!’ the Doctor said quickly, and Theo stopped dead. ‘It’ll pull you in. Use your sonics, the web might dissolve from around trapped objects. Someone’s got to get me because I can’t touch him.’

‘I got him!’ Theo said, grabbed the converse. ‘Dad!’ he called. ‘Dad, say something!’

He pulled on the shoe, but the future Doctor was going nowhere. Leah joined him, running her sonic around her future dad’s leg. The web dissolved a little, and Theo managed to pull him away slightly.

‘This is like super glue!’ Theo complained, digging his heels into the dirt to try and get some extra purchase. ‘Dad! Wake up!’

‘Help!’ came a muffled voice from somewhere nearby, and the Doctor caught sight of a hand poking out of the web, waving its fingers. He knew it was Jackie.

‘Jackie, don’t move, the more you struggle the more it’ll pull you in!’ he shouted, moving forward and sonicking the area around the hand. The web released a little, and he grabbed her hand, pulling her. Slowly but surely Jackie emerged as though the web was giving birth to her, covered in mucus and looking hysterical.

‘About bloody time!’ she complained as he supported her upright. She then jumped, shocked, as Leah and Theo finally managed to get his future self out of the web, pulling him across the ground. ‘Wait … there’s two of you!’

‘Time travel, Jackie, keep up,’ the Doctor said, turning back to the web. The Doctor furiously scanned it, but couldn’t see anyone else through it. They’d been completely swallowed up, and were probably slowly suffocating. He whipped out his sonic and buzzed. ‘Theo, Leah, sonics!’ he ordered. Theo and Leah copied him, blasting sonic waves into the web. It slowly began to recede, revealing a few more hands and feet stuck in it. 

The Doctor ran inside the gap that had opened up. ‘Be quick, it’ll close on itself in a minute!’ he warned, and grabbed the nearest foot. His sonicked around it, and eased out a black-haired teenage girl. Kiana, he realised.

She emerged, gasping for air. ‘Dad was next to me!’ she cried.

‘I’ll get him, go to Jackie,’ the Doctor said quickly, and the girl obediently ran off. As Leah and Theo located their mother, the Doctor found a slither of a World War Two Trenchcoat.

He commenced sonicking, but Jack was buried exceptionally deep. He finally managed to get enough coat to grip, and he pulled as hard as he could. ‘Jack!’

There was no reply. He was probably unconscious. The Doctor sonicked some more until he got a part of a leg. He tried again, but his strength was waning, and Jack was heavy.

He looked back, and saw Theo and Leah had got Rose out, lying her unconscious body next to his future self.

‘Help!’ he cried, and they immediately ran back to him to give him a hand. Together, and with a bit more sonicking, they managed to pull Jack until he came out with a plop, also unconscious.

‘Dad!’ Kiana cried, holding onto Jackie.

The three pulled him back to the others. 

‘We need to get out of here,’ the Doctor gasped, struggling for breath. ‘Before …’

There was a sudden wash of blackness right next to Leah. She cried and stumbled backwards, falling straight into the web, which immediately closed in on her.

‘Leah!’ the Doctor cried.

‘Dad!’ she called back, struggling. She rapidly started to sink.

‘No, don’t struggle!’ the Doctor ordered. Leah obediently fell limp, but there was no time left. Even as the Doctor dived forward to sonic her out, the black shadow crossed his path again, and enveloped his daughter.

‘LEAH!’ he screamed, desperate. But in the blink of an eye, she had been consumed, and she was gone.

‘LEAH!!!’ Jackie called from next to him, her voice raw and pleading.

The Doctor’s hearts simultaneously sank. ‘No, no, no, no!’ he yelled, and grabbed the teleport device Leah had dropped from the floor. He took Rose’s hand. ‘Jackie, Kiana, grab me! Theo, bring your dad and Jack!’

Everyone grabbed who they were supposed to, and the Doctor activated the teleport.

In a whoosh, they landed in the Hub. The Doctor dropped everyone’s hands and ran forward, directly to where Leah was now lying, unmoving.

‘Come on, come on!’ he yelled, turning her over and checking her vital signs. Nothing. He immediately began to do chest compressions to each heart.

Theo arrived next to him, wide-eyed and terrified. ‘Dad? Dad, what’s going on!?’

‘Oh my god, she’s dead!’ Jackie cried, clinging onto Kiana.

‘No, she’s not, she’s going to be okay!’ the Doctor shouted angrily, still doing chest compressions. He then checked her vital signs again. Nothing. 

‘Dad, the bond in me to her is breaking,’ Theo gasped, in tears now.

‘No, no it isn’t!’ the Doctor screamed despite his own bond screaming inside of him, his eyes wet as he resumed chest compressions. ‘Come on, Leah!’

Nothing.

‘Oh my god, no!’ Jackie screamed, bursting into tears.

‘Regeneration!’ the Doctor gasped, in tears now. ‘Time to regenerate, Leah!’

There was no telltale sign of regeneration energy on her. He put his fingers on her temples, closing his eyes. ‘Come on, you can do it, you know how, just do it!’

* * *

The vague thought that his children were too human to regenerate crossed his mind, but he pushed it out, searching desperately inside Leah’s mind for a spark of life. He became so desperate he started sending telepathic shots through her mind, trying to startle her brain into some sort of life. Finally his attacks seemed to conjure up some response, and he threw himself into her mindscape.

_ ‘Leah!’ the Doctor screamed into the blackness inside his daughter’s mind. ‘Time to regenerate!’ _

_ ‘Dad …’ came a weak call. _

_ ‘That’s it, come on, come to me, follow my voice!’ he begged. ‘We’re going to regenerate!’ _

_ ‘I can’t …’  _

_ ‘Yes, you can! You’ve practised, you’ve learnt, you can do it, and I’m here with you!’ _

_ ‘Dad,’ her voice gasped. _

_ ‘Come on!’ _

_ He paused, waiting for a response. Finally, a ghostly half-form of his adult daughter seemed to shimmer into existence in front of him, tears running down her cheeks. _

_ ‘That’s it, you’ve got it, we can do it!’ he told her, reaching out. ‘Just take my hand!’ _

_ She reached out with a shaky arm, but her hand passed right through his. _

_ ‘Just a little more belief, come on, I’ve got you!’ he coaxed. _

_ ‘Dad, it hurts, I’m scared,’ she gasped. _

_ ‘I know, I know!’ he said. ‘But you’re going to be fine, you’ve just got to believe it!’ _

_ She closed her eyes, steeling herself. Then, she reached out again, and their hands connected. _

_ ‘Yes!’ the Doctor yelled, delighted. ‘That’s it! Allons-y!’ _

_ He started to run, shifting through Leah’s mind as he did to to get to the regeneration hotspot, flying through her thoughts and memories. He deliberately found a memory she could take comfort in, and forced it to the front. Then he heard his own voice, speaking to Leah years before: _

_ ‘You always say I worry. I worry so you don't need to worry. Y'know, after you were born, after you'd done the rounds and everyone had seen your beautiful little face ... I held you in my arms and made a solemn promise to you that you would never have to be scared. Don't be scared, because I'll do that for you. Nothing is ever, ever going to take you from me. I promise.’ _

_ They reached the regeneration hotspot. The landscape had taken on the metaphor he’d taught her when she’d been younger. Two gates. One shining with regeneration energy, the other certain death. _

_ They only had a couple of minutes until Leah’s body and mind were truly dead. _

_ ‘You know what to do,’ the Doctor told her. ‘Just do it, and I’ll see you in a minute.’ _

_ ‘Come with me,’ Leah begged. _

_ ‘I can’t, not for this,’ the Doctor replied.  _

_ ‘Please,’ she cried. _

_ ‘I can’t,’ he stressed. ‘This is for you to do alone. But I believe in you.’ _

_ ‘But I’m so scared,’ she gasped. _

_ ‘I know,’ he said. ‘But you can do this.’ _

_ ‘But it hurts so much,’ she gasped. _

_ ‘Once I get out I can share the pain, halve it,’ he said. ‘But for that I have to go, and you have to walk through that gate. Promise me you’re going to do that.’ _

_ ‘But … what if I’m not strong enough?’ _

_ ‘You are. You’re my daughter and you’re strong, you’ve always been strong. You fight back. You always fight back. You’re strong in your hearts and your mind. So, so strong. You’re a Time Lady, and you’re my daughter, and this is going to be hard, but you will do it, and you’ll ace it just like you ace everything.’ _

_ ‘I’m n-not a proper Time Lady,’ she sobbed. _

_ ‘Yes, you are. You are better, more clever, and stronger than any Time Lady I ever knew on Gallifrey. You are passionate, beautiful, and you have so much strength of spirit. You’re more than a Time Lady, and your mum would want me to remind you that you’re a Tyler too. You and Theo are gallifreyans with the passion of a Tyler and that makes you and Theo far superior to me or any old gallifreyan in every single way.’ _

_ She looked at him, tears coursing down her face. ‘Daddy,’ she gasped, as if she was five-years-old again. _

_ He held her tight. ‘Promise me you’ll walk through that gate.’ _

_ She hesitated. _

_ ‘Promise me,’ he repeated. _

_ ‘I … promise.’ _

_ ‘I’ll be there for you when you wake up. I won’t move. I’ll stay right there. I’m going to make sure you’re fine.’ _

_ She was shaking badly. He held her again, embracing her mind with his own. _

_ ‘I love you,’ she choked through her tears. _

_ ‘I love you too,’ he said. ‘So, so much. More than anything. Now, are you ready?’ _

_ She swallowed, and nodded. _

_ ‘You’re regenerating lying down, which is going to be a little bit harder, but you’ll be absolutely fine,’ he said. ‘Remember, focus. Absolute and complete focus. You’ve practised this, you know what to do.’ _

_ ‘Okay,’ she sobbed. _

_ ‘I’ll see you in a minute.’ _

* * *

He came back out of Leah’s head, and vaguely registered that people were gathered around him, his future self included. Rose was crying, and his future self was wide-eyed and terrified, but he was holding Rose back to stop her interfering. He knew what needed to be done.

‘Stay with her,’ his future self begged.

The Doctor vaguely nodded and kept his fingers to Leah’s temples, monitoring her regeneration. He felt her move to the light as his connection to her began to warm up. She was doing it. The bond warmed and warmed more and more, until it became uncomfortably hot. Then, it was burning. Then, it was lava. He cried out as he took some of the pain. He could feel Leah screaming, and she suddenly became blurry in his head.

‘No, no, focus!’ the Doctor urged, screaming both out loud and in his head. But she wasn’t. She was panicking. She was losing focus on her next form, and she was already passing through the metaphorical gate.

If she carried on, she was going to severely damage her next body.

He channelled himself inside her head, forcing himself to take the telepathic blow that was heading her way. With the impact his entire mind and body took a painful hit. He was sent reeling from her physical body like he’d been electrocuted, and at the same time Leah exploded with regeneration energy.

He passed out.

The Doctor opened his eyes, and found himself standing in the TARDIS console room.

For a moment he stood there, still, as only the background hum of the TARDIS provided a noise. He was slightly worried that he couldn’t seem to remember what had happened or how he’d got here. 

After a moment’s hard thought, everything came back like a tidal wave. He stumbled a little as the memory hit him like a ton of bricks. He’d been in the future, Leah had been killed, she’d started to regenerate, but she’d panicked and he’d had to take the mental blow for her … He looked around quickly. Where was Leah? Had she successfully regenerated?

He was about to tear the world apart to find her, when he suddenly heard her voice.

‘But we know they’re susceptible to sonic waves! It’ll work!’ she said.

A teenage boy’s voice joined hers. ‘You’re totally sure these are Howling Hall Shadows?’

In came Leah and Theo, just like before. They stopped at the sight of him.

'You escaped,' Theo realised, staring at him in the same way as before.   
  
'No, wait,' Leah said, her hand in the air. 'That's not him.'   
  
'But it looks like him,' Theo pointed out. 'You mean it's a shapeshifter?'   
  
Leah hesitated, frowning. As before, Theo bravely marched straight up to the Doctor. 'Who are you and why do you look like the Doctor?' he demanded to know.

The Doctor began to feel quite,  _ quite  _ confused. It was the same. Everything was the same. He was back here. Was he going to have to watch Leah die all over again? 'I  _ am  _ the Doctor, and I think …’ – he paused briefly – ‘... I think I've time travelled.'

It was the same sentence.   
  
Leah's eyes widened. 'Oh, wait! I remember. This is when you're trying to find the Moirai, isn't it?’

He quickly decided to jump past the conversation, desperate to deny the future. ‘When I came back I said I travelled to the future and met you.’   
  
'Oh!' Theo exclaimed, as before. 'That  _ thing!' _

The Doctor had stolen Leah’s line. That was all he’d done. The conversation was still following the same pattern. The same words.

He  _ had  _ to fight this.

‘Everyone’s been taken by Elemental Shades?’ the Doctor supposed.

Leah frowned. ‘Yeah, and …’

‘You’ve got a plan to use sonic waves to disrupt them,’ he supplied. ‘We’ve got ten minutes.’ He pulled out his sonic. ‘Present arms.’

A little confused, Leah and Theo drew out their sonics. Without waiting, the Doctor led the group out of the door.

He’d already made his decision. He wasn’t going to accept his daughter was fated to die, today. Leah was going to live.    
  



	18. The Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor causes something horrific.

Everything happened as before. The Elemental Shades arrived, took them, and they ended up next to the room full of jelly. Theo and Leah got his future self, and he pulled out Jackie.

‘About bloody time!’ she complained as he supported her upright. She then jumped, shocked, as Leah and Theo finally managed to get his future self out of the web, pulling him across the ground. ‘Wait … there’s two of you!’

‘Time travel, Jackie, keep up,’ the Doctor said for the second time, turning back to the web. He knew where Kiana, Rose, and Jack were, it was just a case of getting through, and quickly as possible. He whipped out his sonic and buzzed. ‘Theo, Leah, sonics!’ he ordered. Theo and Leah copied him, blasting sonic waves into the web. It slowly began to recede, revealing a few more hands and feet stuck in it. 

‘Be quick, it’ll close on itself in a minute!’ the Doctor warned as he grabbed Kiana’s foot. He got her out. ‘I’ll get Jack, don’t worry!’ he said before the teenage girl could say anything. ‘Go to Jackie!’

He checked Leah and Theo, who’d just located Rose. ‘Hurry it up!’ he urged as he started sonicking to get Jack out. He caught Leah and Theo dragging their mum to safety, but once again, he was finding Jack too heavy to shift.

‘Theo, help!’ he called. Theo moved forward, and so did Leah. ‘No, Leah, go back!’ the Doctor yelled. To his complete relief, she backed away and let Theo help. After a struggle, which took twice as long with only two of them, Jack emerged with a plop.

‘Dad!’ Kiana cried, holding onto Jackie.

The Doctor quickly pulled him back to the others. ‘We need to get out of here,’ the Doctor gasped, struggling for breath. ‘Before …’

There was a sudden wash of blackness right next to Theo. Just as Leah had, he cried and stumbled backwards, falling straight into the web, which immediately closed in on him.

‘Theo!’ the Doctor realised, his hearts hammering ten to the dozen. No, not Theo. He was too young. He wasn’t receptive enough to telepathy. He wouldn’t be able to regenerate. No. _No._

He yelled and dived forward, but the black shadow crossed his path again, and enveloped his son.

‘THEO!’ he screamed, desperate. But in the blink of an eye, he had been consumed, and he was gone.

‘THEO!!!’ Jackie called from next to him, her voice raw and pleading.

The Doctor’s hearts were screaming with pain and anguish for what he’d just inadvertently caused. ‘No, no, no, no!’ he yelled, and grabbed the teleport device Leah was still holding. He took Rose’s hand. ‘Jackie, Kiana, grab me! Leah, bring your dad and Jack!’

Everyone grabbed who they were supposed to, and the Doctor activated the teleport.

In a whoosh, they landed in the Hub. The Doctor dropped everyone’s hands and ran forward, directly to where Theo was now lying, unmoving. Without waiting to check for vital signs, he put his fingers on Theo’s temples, trying desperately to get something. He found a slight slither of activity, and began to telepathically shoot it repeatedly, once again attempting to get it to respond to him, just like he had with Leah. But unlike Leah, Theo wasn’t responding. He was too young. He didn’t have control. His brain wasn’t fully developed. The telepathic capacity was limited.

Despite this, the Doctor kept hitting it, _bludgeoning_ it to try and elicit _something_ from his son. After what felt like an age, he felt someone grab hold of his shoulders and pull him away from Theo. As the real world returned, he realised people were screaming at him and Jack was restraining him.

‘Stop it!’ Rose was wailing.

He looked at her, realising she was crying. His future self looked very angry.

‘Get away from him!’ Jackie joined in, screaming.

Confused, he looked down at Theo. He froze, horrified. Blood was pouring out of his son’s nose, eyes, mouth, and ears and pooling around his head, soaking his blond hair. The Doctor’s hands were covered in his son’s blood. He’d telepathically beaten his son’s brain, destroying every little piece of it. But that wasn’t the worst bit. Theo was having a horrific seizure, screaming his throat raw. 

He was still alive.

The Doctor hadn’t checked for vital signs.

He’d been alive while the Doctor was beating his brain.

‘No, no!’ the Doctor gasped, every single cell in his body feeling like it was dying inside of him. ‘Theo!’

‘Get the fuck away!!!’ Rose screamed, diving to Theo. His future self was there immediately, checking him. The Doctor could only stand there in the grip of Jack, staring at the bloody mess he’d just created. He was now completely numb. He felt like throwing up. He went deaf as everyone’s voices seemed to drop to murmurs. He could barely breathe, barely think. People were saying things and doing things, but all he could see was his blood-drowned son lying there.

It was an image that was going to burn in his eyes for the rest of his life.

* * *

Jack had taken him to the Torchwood cells, chained his wrists and ankles, and left without a word. 

Since then, the Doctor had been sitting on the edge of the bed, hunched over and staring at the floor. He had no idea how long it had been. He couldn’t tell. Time meant nothing anymore. He didn’t even care. Nothing mattered anymore. He’d murdered his son. His handsome, clever, charismatic, funny, loyal son. A son that hadn’t even been born for him yet.

He wished dearly that someone would come and hurt him for it. He kept hoping Jack would come and beat him to death with a sledgehammer. He deserved it. He wanted it.

After some time, his future self emerged outside of the cells, holding Jack's gun. The Doctor looked up, but couldn’t look himself in the eye.

For a moment, silence reigned.

‘... Is he dead?’ the Doctor finally asked.

‘His body’s alive, but his brain’s been destroyed, bar some basic functions,’ his future self replied. He sounded so clinical. ‘Everything that made Theo has gone. All he can do is breathe, blink, and sleep. I can’t get anything from his head. I can’t talk to him. He can’t say anything. He’s not thinking anything. He’s not going to get better.’

‘I didn’t mean … I … I thought he was dead,’ the Doctor choked out. ‘I was trying … trying to get some response. I was trying … to get him to regenerate.’

‘He can’t regenerate, and he’ll never learn to regenerate, now. He’ll never learn anything. All that’s left of Theo is the vessel. You all but physically killed him. He'll be like it until he dies.’

The Doctor started to cry. ‘I can’t …’ He stopped himself, and tried some different words. ‘There’s got to be something. I’ve … I mean, I’ll do anything. _Anything._ ’

‘He can’t be helped,’ his future self replied simply.

‘Then kill me,’ the Doctor begged, looking at the gun his future self was holding. ‘Please, kill me.’

‘What good would that do?’ his future self replied contritely. 

‘I want to die,’ the Doctor said firmly.

‘You can’t though, can you?’ his future self snapped. ‘You know the future. You’ve got to live with this for the next fifteen years of your life, or you’ll be creating a horrific paradox. You’ve got to live every day and every night, knowing what you … what _I_ did. I murdered my son. I knew, all this time, that it would happen. For the last fifteen years I’ve seen it happening over and over in my head; my dreams; my nightmares. Theo lying there, bleeding, screaming, and fitting. It’s burnt into the back of my eyelids. But I couldn’t stop it happening. I couldn’t wipe the memory. I couldn’t tell anyone. I couldn’t even kill myself. I had to get to this point to complete the time loop. I struggled to live with it. I loathe myself every single day. I get up, I look in the mirror, and I see what I did. All this time.’

He paused, and looked at the gun he was holding. 

‘The time loop’s done, now,’ he said. ‘You want absolution? Here it is.’

He raised the gun and placed it under his own chin, aiming towards his brain stem.

‘Enjoy this moment,’ his future self said. ‘This is the only thing you’ve got to look forward to now.’

The Doctor stared at him as his future self closed his eyes, and braced himself.

‘Freedom,’ was all he said, and pulled the trigger.

Then, silence.

The Doctor’s eyes dropped to stare at his own corpse, half of his head blown away. Then he realised the gun had flown out of his future self’s hands and landed next to his cell door. He stood up, moving to the door and reaching through the food slot with his bound hands. He just about got hold of the gun, and pulled it back through.

He checked. Four bullets left.

To hell with paradoxes. He wasn't going to spend the next fifteen year remembering what he’d done.

He raised the gun, sitting it under his chin. He took a deep breath, just as his future self had. His finger quivered on the trigger, finding the sweet spot. Then, he pulled.

* * *

The Doctor opened his eyes, and saw Rose standing over him, a stethoscope in her ears. Next, came the feeling of his back’s bare skin resting on a cold, hard floor, and the feeling of the chestpiece of the stethoscope resting over his right heart. He could suddenly smell Rose’s perfume over the usual musky smell of Torchwood as she leant close to him, mouthing something. Then, he could taste the remains of his breakfast from that morning - a zinogrian buttered bread he’d had with raspberry jam. Rose’s words seemed to finally get volume, as her voice and the sound of his surroundings returned.

‘You’re still in the future,’ she said. ‘You’ve just saved Leah and been blasted back. What you just saw ain’t real, okay?’

The Doctor wondered briefly whether to believe her or not, but realised it was true when he saw his future self step into his vision.

‘Theo didn’t die,’ his future self said quickly. ‘It didn’t happen and it’s never going to happen.’

The Doctor tried to get some words out, but realised his mouth wasn’t working properly. He couldn’t even move. His entire body was completely disagreeing with his intentions.

‘You just got blasted with incredibly powerful telepathic feedback,’ his future self said, knowing exactly what he was thinking. ‘You’ve had a bodily shock and you’re in partial paralysis. It’ll get better soon.’ 

The Doctor felt sick, and very, very confused. What had happened to Theo?

Again, his future self knew exactly what he was thinking. ‘The lergri in you took most of the hit to save your life and gave you a vision of a potential future. Theo’s fine. He’s here. It’s not going to happen. Theo,’ his future self prompted, and the teenager stepped into his vision.

Theo smiled and waved. ‘Hey,’ he said.

The Doctor’s hearts skipped a beat as his mind gave him a brief flashback of Theo covered in blood.

‘Not real, never happened, never will happen,’ his future self repeated. 

Theo’s grin broadened. ‘Still here, love you, Dad,’ he said. He’d clearly been told what to say by his future self, as it was exactly what the Doctor wanted to hear. ‘Not dead, or brain dead, or whatever.’

The Doctor’s mind, body, and soul flooded with a feeling of pure, unadulterated relief. Theo was okay. He’d just seen some poisoned version of events as the lergri had been completely shocked by the blast. With that assurance, he began to get some feeling back in his limbs. He tried to move, but future Rose stopped him.

‘Give yourself a couple of minutes,’ she said.

‘You saved Leah’s life. She’s successfully regenerated. It worked. Remember only that,’ his future self said.

'We'll get you scanned to check you're okay, wait for your speech to come back, then take you back to your time,’ future Rose said.

'Thank you,’ the future Doctor said sincerely. 'Thank you for being there for her.’

Future Rose nodded leant down and hugged the Doctor tightly, kissing his cheek. ‘Thank you,’ she said. 

Once the shock had gone, the Doctor realised he was in the TARDIS infirmary. His future self had limited his sights and sounds of the future, so everyone had left except for his future self and future Rose. He was scanned, and as his future self analysed the scanner results, future Rose explained that Leah was in the Zero Room, deeply asleep, being closely monitored by the TARDIS. 

After ten minutes of inconsequential, future-avoiding one-sided chat from future Rose, his future self came back, holding printouts. ‘You’ve got a little bit of brain damage, not surprisingly, really,’ he said, holding up one of the scans where the Doctor could see a couple of white patches indicating damage on bits of his brain. ‘You don’t know it until I tell you, but with every vision you have you’ve been hurting your brain. This has just quickly done the damage you would have got anyway. Try saying something.’

‘Arnurduh … ‘ the Doctor replied, and immediately stopped. That hadn’t worked.

‘What’s he tryin’ to say?’ future Rose asked the future Doctor.

His future self grinned a little. ‘I was trying to say the alphabet.’

‘It comes back in a bit, don’t worry,’ future Rose said, registering the Doctor’s look of slight shock.

’You’ll find it difficult to talk for a bit,’ his future self said. ‘But everyone’s helpful. Even Jackie.’

‘Hey!’ future Rose protested.

His future self grinned at that. ‘Everything comes back soon enough. Also ...’ He reached into his pocket and pulled out a shining blue sphere. ‘Congratulations, you’ve found your seventh key.’

Future Rose took it from the future Doctor and slipped it inside the Doctor's pocket.

* * *

Future Rose helped him walk to the console room to the captain's chair, sitting him down in it as the future Doctor programmed. They landed just outside the Cardiff Tourist Information Centre at night. Future Rose helped him up again and guided him to the door of the information centre, as the future Doctor sonicked it open to allow them passage. He also sonicked the security camera, and it fizzed and died.

The room was dark. His future self pulled out a torch and lit the way. Future Rose carefully lowered him to the floor.

‘We’ll leave you in here and Ianto will find you,’ his future self said. ‘I’m leaving a note for everyone so they don’t panic.’

Future Rose gave him a quick kiss on the forehead.

‘See ya in a couple of seconds,’ she joked, and placed a note next to him. Then, they were gone, and in the distance he heard the sound of the TARDIS taking off. Then, he was in the dark and the quiet. 

About five seconds later, he heard Ianto’s voice, 'the camera stopped, I’m just having a look now.’

The light switched on. There was a brief pause. The Doctor waited. 'Doctor!’

There it was.

Within twenty seconds, footsteps were running inside. Rose was next to him first, which was quite a feat for a seven-month-pregnant woman, the Doctor thought.

‘You were s’posed to call if you got teleported!’ she complained, and his lack of reply clearly unnerved her. ‘Doctor?’

‘Narpeed,’ was all he managed to say.

Her brow furrowed. ‘What? Jack, he’s slurrin’.’

‘Rose,’ Jack said from somewhere he couldn’t see. ‘Take a look at this note.’

She opened it. ‘Dear everyone,’ she read aloud. ‘This is a future version of the Doctor writing this letter. First of all, don’t panic. The key transported your Doctor to the future, where he solved a severe problem we had. In doing so, he has had a very bad telepathic shot through his head, leaving him with some brain damage. He’s ended up a bit weak in his limbs and he’s unable to speak properly, but he’s fully aware. He’ll get better over the next few weeks, so don’t worry. Love, the Doctor. PS, the next key is in his pocket. Don’t keep it in the Tardis for more than an hour.’

Rose reached into his pocket and pulled out the sphere. She reacted, as always, with a hand on her belly, before holding it up to Ianto. ‘Can you get this in the vault, Yan?’

Ianto nodded and left as Rose returned her attention to her husband.

‘Jack, get him to our bed,’ she said.


	19. Eggs-raiys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor's lack of ability to communicate causes frustration.

‘Aah, beh, say, dooay, eh, egf, jay, age, ai, jey, keh, ella, en, enm, ouh, pey, coo, arr, ss, tay, oon, fi, dubaoo, eggs, wah, zerd,’ the Doctor said as he attempted to say the alphabet for what felt like the 100th time.

‘You’re still sayin’ eggs,’ Rose pointed out, giggling.

‘Eigs,’ the Doctor tried again. ‘Acks. Eihgs.’

‘Don’t worry, unless you need to say the word “x-rays”,’ Martha joked.

‘Eggs-raiys,’ the Doctor repeated, looking at Rose, who increased her giggles.

‘Stop baiting her,’ Martha chastised. 

The Doctor shrugged, grinning a little. Rose took his hand under the table and squeezed it.

It had been two weeks since he’d come back from the future, and his speech had drastically improved. To begin with he hadn’t been able to communicate whatsoever, only able to slur out ridiculous sounds that had no resemblance whatsoever to anything he was trying to say, but he’d improved. He was still fairly indecipherable, but at least the noises he was making now were slightly closer to his intentions. He couldn’t really remember what had happened in the future, either. Clearly his messing about in his own timeline had affected his memories of it.

Everyone had been extremely understanding and helpful, aware that he was brain damaged from something quite like a stroke, and needed a bit of patience. For the first few days, he’d been disappointed that he couldn’t speak, and had spent a lot of the time dreaming of rants he dearly wished to make to everyone who was treating him as though he were made of gossamer. Despite this, he’d recognised that his verbal equivalent of a drunk karaoke rendition of a Cher song was quite funny to people listening. Jack's over helpfulness had been endearing, and Jackie's lame jokes about him had been funny. He’d also needed some help getting dressed as his dexterity left a lot to be desired, and those times had formed some quite intimate and loving moments between him and Rose.

After the first few days, he’d started to get frustrated. He hadn’t been able to talk or write at all, and telepathy was off the cards too, as he needed to let his brain heal. All he had been able to do to communicate was use gestures, and Rose still had to help him get dressed. It had slowly driven him up the wall, until at the end of the first week, he’d been angry. A lot at himself, but also at the people around him. Jack’s progressively irritating over-helpfulness and Jackie’s increasingly coarse jokes had started to grate on him more and more severely.

In the end, he’d withdrawn, hiding inside the TARDIS, keeping himself to himself, not speaking a word. He’d spent most of the time either in Theo’s new room, in the library, or in places that he knew no one would ever find him. He’d also taken back up Venusian aikido, partly as a way of meditating to try and channel some of the tumultuous emotions he’d been going through, and also as a way of perhaps gaining more control over his body. He’d stopped eating properly, stopped keeping himself tidy and presentable, and generally fell into a rut, until Rose had found him and lectured him about pointlessly feeling sorry for himself, and that everyone was getting worried about him. She’d helped him to neaten himself up, and forced him back into civilisation. He’d loved her and hated her for that in equal measures.

However, it had turned out to not be so bad. Clearly Rose had instigated a plan with Torchwood, as Jack stopped being annoyingly over helpful, Jackie stopped with her jokes, and everyone else stopped acting like he was about to detonate at any second. Martha had come to visit, and he realised that she’d been part of Rose’s plan too when somehow twenty minutes after she’d arrived they were involved in speech therapy. After Martha had left everyone had suddenly started to want to play a myriad of word games with him.

He didn’t have the words or the will to stop any of it, so he’d just obeyed. Now it was three days later, and Martha was back for the third time. He had to admit it, whatever she was doing was working. Three days previously he’d gotten nowhere near, but with her help he had come on in leaps and bounds.

‘Take a few deep breaths, and tell me what you had for breakfast this morning,’ Martha said.

He inhaled and exhaled, and began, ‘yosamadimehshum …’

‘Hey, we talked about this, slow down,’ Martha ordered. ‘Just pretend you’re talking in slow-motion.’

‘Yeah, like you’re talkin’ to a whale,’ Rose said, laughing.

‘Rose … ma-deh …. miii … soom … toesd … und … ah ...’

‘Stop,’ Martha prompted. ‘Shorter sentences. So Rose made you some toast. What did you put on it?’

‘Shtorbury … jaim,’ he replied. 

‘You had strawberry jam. What did you do after that?’

‘Rose … heyupped … miii … to … geit … drass-de,’ he replied. ‘Den … wei … waint … intao … Torshwoad.’

‘Rose helped you to get dressed and you went into Torchwood,’ Martha repeated, smiling. ‘Where was Jack when you went into Torchwood?’

‘Een … hees … oafish.’

‘In his office,’ Martha said. 

The Doctor sighed a little. Now he sounded like a _slow-motion_ drunk karaoke rendition of a Cher song.

Rose noticed his reaction. ‘Hey, don’t be down. You’re gettin’ better,’ she told him, rubbing his back. 

‘Three days ago I couldn’t understand a word you were saying, now I’m understanding you. That’s really good,’ Martha said reassuringly. ‘Just speak slowly and in short sentences, and keep practicing your hotwords.’ To follow that, she handed him the sheet of words she’d picked up as being difficult for him and required practise – hot words, she liked to call them. ‘I think by the end of the week you’ll be almost normal and ranting at us like usual.’

He half-smiled at her. ‘Finks,’ he said.

‘You’re welcome,’ she replied.

‘Let’s go down the word list,’ Rose encouraged as Martha left.

The Doctor looked at the hotwords. Torchwood. Straw. Berry. Me. We. Toast. Dressed. He sighed again.

Rose was watching him carefully. ‘Okay, we don’t have to do it now,’ she said immediately, taking the bit of paper and slipping it into her pocket before gazing at him for a moment. ‘Why are you so down?’

‘Fail … lack … nn … eedyiood,’ he replied.

‘You feel like an idiot?’ Rose clarified, and he nodded. She rolled her eyes. ‘I thought we talked about this? We all know something’s happened to you and it’s gonna take you a bit to get better and we’ve got no problem with that. No one thinks you’re an idiot, so there’s no point in feelin’ it, yeah?’

‘Durunk … sleoh-meoh … Shar … soing,’ he muttered.

‘Drunk slow-mo Cher song?’ she repeated, laughing. He nodded again. ‘Well, yeah, it is a bit, but c’mon. Give yourself a break, yeah? You’ve basically had a stroke and we gotta count ourselves lucky that you’re gonna fix eventually, and yeah, it’s gonna be hard, but all you’re doin’ is making it harder on yourself by thinkin’ all negative about it. Have I gotta lecture you about not bein’ a moody selfish git again?’

He shook his head, smiling slightly at that.

‘Good, I got a smile,’ she said, and kissed his cheek. ‘You’re a million miles better than you were yesterday. I mean, yesterday we couldn’t have even had this conversation, yeah?’

He shook his head.

‘Say it,’ she encouraged. He hesitated. ‘Say everythin’ you wanna say. No one cares. I don’t care. The only person who cares that you can’t talk is you. Besides, I like Cher.’

He laughed at that. ‘Ah … loaf … you.’

‘I loaf you too,’ she replied, beaming. He laughed again, and they hugged each other. When they pulled back, she was gazing at him.

‘Wod?’ he asked.

‘Now we can talk, d’you wanna tell me about what happened in the future?’

He paused briefly. ‘Ah ... dun’t ... maimbar,’ he replied.

‘You don’t remember?’

‘Nah.’

She frowned. ‘Is that right?’ she asked.

He shrugged. ‘Meshane ... in ... ma ... ewn ... chimelanes ... atta ... shink,’ he said. ‘Canht … reshane.’

‘Messin’ in your own timeline, out of sync, can’t retain?’ she repeated to check she understood him correctly. He nodded. ‘So you have no idea how you ended up like this? I mean, I know your future self wrote it was something to do with a telepathic shot, but do you remember anything else?’

He frowned, recalling only two things. ‘Lah … nn … Cheo … wah … duh, nn … mah ... foossure ... shelf ... sayed ... ah ... saiv’d ... Lah.’

‘Leah and Theo were there, and your future self said you saved Leah? That’s all you remember?’

‘Yer.’

‘Was I there?’

He thought about that. He didn’t remember her. ‘Doino.’

‘Guess we won’t find out till we get there,’ she mused, before she shrugged and smiled. ‘Somethin’ to find out, I guess.’

He nodded. She kissed him, before taking his hands. Then she stopped, frowning.

‘Wod?’ he asked.

‘Have you looked at your lergri scar since you got back?’ she asked.

He looked down at his left hand, which was still bandaged as it had been for a couple of months to stop him knocking it. ‘Nah,’ he said.

She pulled back the bandage, and revealed his palm. There was nothing there.

She looked up at him, wide-eyed. ‘It’s gone. Doctor, the scar’s gone. Does that mean the lergri’s not in you anymore?’

He stared, dumbfounded. He’d never thought to look at his palm. Clearly something that had happened in the future had some effect on the lergri. Was it gone?

‘Shkan,’ he said.

* * *

Nothing, they realised as they checked the scanner printout. The lergri wasn’t registering. It was dead, or thrown out of his head, or whatever the terminology was for the concept he always failed to understand.

They both paused, looking at each other, before the Doctor suddenly beamed a thousand-watt smile.

‘Gawn!’ he said joyfully. ‘No ... moare ... veeshuns!’

She giggled and hugged him, infected by his joy for a few seconds before she pulled back, thinking seriously about that. ‘Wait, that means no more Moirai.’

‘Goo’,’ he replied, looking at the scan to double and triple-check it was truly gone. ‘Agh, am … sew … haypay.’

She grinned, but something in her wasn’t agreeing with his joy. ‘But … how can the lergri be gone? Being in you was their only link to the real world. They wouldn’t give it up … would they?’

He thought about that. ‘Pwosheking ... me?’ he proposed.

‘Protecting you? From what? The telepathic blast?’

‘Yer.’ He mused for a moment. ‘Pobby … wasd … mah … mum.’

‘Yeah, it probably _was_ your mum,’ she agreed. ‘Only your mum would … well, if it was her that was always the one inside you, she’s the only lergri that would put saving you over loyalty to the other lergri.’

‘Yer,’ he said, and looked a bit sad.

She hugged him. ‘Well, for her to disappear from you and for you to end up like this, she’s gotta have taken a hit, yeah? Maybe she saved your life. You’ve got some brain damage, but imagine if you got hit full force? You’d probably be dead. She’s saved your life.’

‘Buh … ish … see … dayd?’

‘Is she dead?’ Rose repeated. ‘I … dunno. But hey. Their connection’s gone. As long as we don’t get inside another paradox or anythin’ then they’re stuck. That’s good, yeah?’

He nodded. ‘Yer.’ He sighed. ‘Sad … ah … wasd … anghee … ahd … er.’

‘Hey,’ she said, rubbing his arms. ‘You had a right to be angry at her, yeah? She was part of the thing that got you stuck in the rift for five months. She betrayed your trust. Yeah, she was reluctant, but whose side was she on when they tried to break through you and take over Earth? Maybe … maybe she felt she owed it to you, in a weird kinda way.’

He nodded.

‘Okay, so, the lergri’s gone. No more moirai, no more visions,’ Rose summarised. ‘And your future self gave us the next key. It’s in the vault. We can make sure no one touches it, and then no one will ever find the eighth key.’

He nodded again. 

‘Let’s just forget it all and concentrate on gettin’ you better,’ she decided. ‘Now, let’s work on those hotwords.’

* * *

‘Cos you can’t read to me I’m gonna read to you,’ Leah told the Doctor when he put her to bed. She’d picked a book and climbed under her duvet. He recognised the book she had in her hand; it was the first book he’d given her that was in full gallifreyan. She’d been asking him for ages about getting such a book. He had commented when he’d given it to her that storybooks for the Time Academy-destined children of Gallifrey were sparse, owing to a lifetime to servitude to the Panoptican; a life of learning and study, and little time for play, so he’d had none in his library to give her. So instead, he’d written one for her, based on a story he’d heard when he was with the Shobogans on Gallifrey, as a moral tale they told their children. Leah had never read it alone, before. It used the more complex aspects of gallifreyan which he knew she wasn’t entirely comfortable with using, yet.

She opened the book, and began.

‘There were once two gallifreyans, a brother, Kershan, and a sister, Inaralia,’ she said without pausing. ‘They were inquisitive children. One day, they decided to leave their village, walk in opposite directions, and eventually meet up at their den to tell each other everything they'd seen.

She turned the page. The Doctor was impressed at her lack of hesitation.

‘Travelling east, Kershan encountered a Time Lord, who was the Lord President of Gallifrey, surrounded by his entourage. The Time Lord asked Kershan one question: “What do you want to be, strong or clever?”. Kershan regarded the highly-educated, robed Time Lord, and replied he wanted to be clever. The Time Lord approved of the answer, and took him to the Capitol. He was secured an education to be a Time Lord.

‘Inaralia, going west, encountered a War Lord that headed an army that had slain many people. The War Lord asked her the same question. “Would you rather be clever or strong?”. Inaralia, surrounded by muscled brutes and weapons, replied that she wanted to be strong. The War Lord approved of her answer, and took her under his wing.

‘The brother and sister grew up in different worlds, Kershan ruled by books, and Inaralia ruled by weapons. Kershan became clever beyond all those around him, while Inaralia became the best fighter Gallifrey had known. Each grew up to take the place of the one that had found them. Kershan became Lord President, and Inaralia took place at the head of the army. They each lived long and satisfactory lives.

‘When they had grown and seen all that they could see, they both went to the den, as they had promised. They told each other all that had happened to them. They then each asked the other the question they'd been asked so long ago. “Would you rather be clever or strong?”. Kershan, the Lord President of Gallifrey, knew he could not feel safe without strong guards to protect him. “I am not strong, but I rely on the strength of those around me to be happy. I would give the same answer as I did when I was a child,” Kershan stated. Inaralia, the head of the greatest army, knew she could not succeed in her battles without those to think through strategies for her. “I am not clever, but I rely on the intelligence of those around me to be happy. I would also give the same answer as I did when I was a child,” Inaralia stated.

‘Their questions answered, Kershan and Inaralia gave up their roles, and returned to their village they had left so long ago. The end.'

Leah finished, looking up at him. She had read the entire story with only a few hesitations. Her gallifreyan was almost perfect. He clapped his hands and hugged her to let her know what an accomplishment it was.

She beamed. ‘I know what it means, Daddy, I worked it out,’ she said eagerly. ‘It means even if you’re the best at something you’re still not better than other people. Everyone’s good at something and we all need each other to be happy so we can help each other with our faults. And you should never regret what you turn into either.’

He nodded, grinning. 

‘I wanna be both,’ she continued. ‘I wanna be clever _and_ strong. Can you write me the next story? You said in the next story they go north and south.’

He nodded again.

‘I know how I’m gonna make Theo tough. I wanna help teach him gallifreyan and I can tell him how to be a Time Lord, once he stops being all floppy baby. He’ll be strong and clever and everything. I’ll look after him, cos I’m his big sister and big sisters have gotta look after their little brothers.’

He nodded for a third time, smiling.

She beamed back and reached up for a hug. ‘Good night, Daddy.’

‘Oonai,’ he responded automatically.

Leah smiled at him. ‘I know you meant good night,’ she said, and laid down. He pulled up the covers and kissed her forehead.


	20. Baby Shower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor experiences his first baby shower, as his emotions spiral out of his control.

Today was baby shower day.

The Doctor wasn’t supposed to know about it, but the combination of being slow to speak these days and also naturally being quite stealthy meant he’d walked into the planning meeting and listened for two solid minutes before anyone had noticed he was there. Gwen had then made him promise under pain of death that he wouldn’t tell Rose about it. Not that he really knew what a baby shower was. He didn’t recall having one before. He really hoped it didn’t mean that all of his friends were going to put his wife and unborn son through some strange human pre-birth cleaning ritual, but admittedly that did sound like something humans would do.

They were now in the thirty-second week of pregnancy. He’d done a scan earlier. Theo was now a fully-formed humanoid with all the humanoid bits; eyes, nose, mouth, ears, hair, and even fingernails and toenails. He was filling out with fat, and he was also being proactively helpful by turning head down, getting ready for birth. 

Otherwise, the Doctor had had heartsburn like nobody’s business, and at about 3am that morning he’d woken up to the feeling of painless contractions. He’d panicked for thirty seconds, about to wake up Rose and enact his carefully-devised birthing plan in a whirl of stress, before he’d recalled the concept of Braxton-Hicks contractions and realised it was that when it stopped as quickly as it had started. A little creeped out, he hadn’t been able to go back to sleep, and spent the rest of the night staring at the ceiling, contemplating his near-future in screaming, arguing, and being knee-deep in baby poop.

To avoid the furore of baby shower day and his own internal monologue, he’d spent the morning finding little jobs to do in Torchwood that meant he could be away from it, which was how he’d ended up down in one of the storage rooms, divising a deeply complex cataloguing system for all the alien artefacts there, despite the fact that as Torchwood had been destroyed, they currently only had two. As such, his constructed waste of time wasn’t enough to keep his brain fully occupied.

He sat down, and fell into a haze of reality. He was about to go through the rigmarole of baby parenting again, he realised. He flashbacked to Leah’s first few months. Crippling sleep deprivation, arguing with Rose, the repeated wailing sounding like nails down a chalkboard. Then there were the rushed nappy changes, the complex burping system, and the constant, tortuous feeling that if he left the baby alone to sleep it would explode, or implode, or otherwise find some way to leap out of its cot and kill itself. Then there was the rollercoaster of anxiety about what exactly he was supposed to do with it, and the constant terror that if he played peekaboo at that precise moment, what possible mental problems could arise five years down the line?

Eventually when Jack came to find him, he was sitting on the floor slowly rocking backwards and forwards chewing his bottom lip, his eyes the size of dinner plates.

‘Um, you all right?’ Jack asked, standing over him.

‘What amma doin’?’ the Doctor asked, looking at him.

‘No idea,’ Jack said, looking around him for any clues. ‘Pretending to do something useful?’

‘No, ah mean … Am gonna have a babeh, ’ the Doctor said, not blinking.

‘Yeah, er, I’d have thought you’d have noticed that before now,’ Jack said, frowning.

‘But am havin’ a babeh,’ the Doctor repeated. ‘I can’t havva babeh.’

‘... Are you having a nervous breakdown?’ Jack asked, raising his eyebrows. 

‘Yes,’ the Doctor replied without any hesitation.

‘So you’re having a baby. What’s the deal? It’s not like you haven’t done this before.’

‘Bud thad was five yars ago,’ the Doctor replied.

‘So? You see one baby, you’ve seen ‘em all,’ Jack said.

‘Bud I’m scurred,’ the Doctor admitted.

Jack clearly saw this was going to take longer than he could stand up for. He dropped to sit down next to his best friend. ‘Okay. Talk to me. When the hell did this start?’

‘I hadda Brackton-Hecks last naight.’

‘You had a Braxton-Hicks? That’s good though,’ Jack pointed out. ‘Means everything’s going like it should.’

‘Bud is real,’ the Doctor croaked.

‘Of course it’s real.’

‘Am scurred.’

‘Scared? What are you scared of?’

‘Dunno … nut bein’ able ta love him?’

‘Not being able to love him?’ Jack repeated, puzzled. ‘How can you not?’

‘Ah luff Leah so much … I dun’t think ave got enuff love lef’ for anothar one.’

He then burst into tears. Jack sighed. He handed the war-hardened, universally-loved and feared Time Lord a handkerchief, who blew his nose loudly into it.

‘Look, you’re just hormonal. In about eight weeks you’re gonna be sitting in the TARDIS infirmary holding your son wondering what you were crying about,’ Jack told him firmly. ‘Come to the baby shower. Rose wants you there.’

The Doctor sniffed, handing back Jack’s now snot-covered handkerchief. ‘Okay.’

* * *

As it turned out, a baby shower had nothing to do with an actual shower, and the Doctor found himself sitting between Rose and Leah in the rest area of Torchwood, surrounded by Torchwood, balloons, and wrapped gifts.

‘God, I wasn’t expectin’ this,’ Rose said happily. ‘Thank you so much!’

‘Open ‘em, c’mon,’ Jackie prompted.

Rose beamed and handed the nearest gift to the Doctor. ‘You wanna open this one?’

‘Err, okay,’ the Doctor replied. He felt everyone staring at him as he pulled off the gift wrap, and revealed a tiny Babygro, coloured dark blue with little spaceships all over it.

‘I know it’s corny but I loved it,’ Gwen said, beaming.

‘It’s so cute, thank you!’ Rose said happily, looking at the Doctor, who was staring at the Babygro in his hands with wide eyes. ‘What?’ Rose asked.

‘You don’t like it?’ Gwen wondered.

The Doctor looked up at her, his eyes welling. ‘It’s … sho … tiny!’ he burst out, holding the Babygro to his chest to cuddle it.

Everyone else looked at each other.

‘Can I open the next one?’ Leah asked eagerly.

Still staring at her overemotional husband, Rose nodded, and gave her the next one.

‘That’s my one!’ Jackie declared.

Leah opened it to reveal a little teddy bear in a cute striped suit. Everyone reacted with various pitches of “aww”.

‘Canna see?’ the Doctor asked, finally putting the Babygro down and taking the teddy from Leah. He held it in his hands, staring at the adorable striped suit outfit the bear was wearing. ‘He’s gotta liddle suit!’ he wailed, and promptly dissolved into tears. Rose patted him reassuringly on the back.

The next item was a set of baby bibs, followed by various toys, more clothes, and even a spa gift set for Rose. Leah gained a couple of presents too. They had even thought to go and get the Doctor some larger clothes in his style so he wasn’t condemned to jogging bottoms and t-shirts for the remaining eight weeks of pregnancy. The Doctor cried at everything, to the degree that Jack had to get him his own box of tissues. By the end of it, he’d filled a bin.

Rose thanked everyone for their gifts, and as they left to sort out the cake she then spent a few minutes hugging her husband.

‘Geez, if you cry anymore you’re gonna dehydrate,’ she complained. 

‘Can that actually happen?’ Leah wondered.

‘Ah carn shtop it!’ the Doctor complained. 

‘Leah, hug your dad,’ Rose ordered the little girl. ‘I can’t get him to stop.’

Leah hesitated. ‘But he’s covered in snot.’

‘Hug him!’ Rose repeated urgently as a fresh onslaught of tears arrived at Leah’s comment. Leah obliged, when suddenly the transmat from the other Torchwood activated, and Brax stepped out, holding a gift bag. Rose froze immediately, glancing at the Doctor.

‘Err, Theta?’ Brax wondered. The Doctor had tears pouring down his face. ‘Are you well?’

The Doctor wailed at the sight of him and hugged a cushion.

‘Sorry, err, I will just leave these here,’ Brax said, indicating the gift bag.

‘It’s fine,’ Rose said. ‘What have you got?’

‘I heard we were getting presents for the tots,’ Brax said, stepping forward to hand over the bag to Rose. ‘I am not entirely sure what you are supposed to get an infant, so I tried to make some things similar to what we had on Gallifrey.’

Rose frowned, and pulled out the first present. It was a bag of small plastic pieces, similar to Scrabble-pieces, but they had gallifreyan markings on them. They were obviously very lovingly and carefully crafted. The Doctor recognised it immediately and he looked at Brax, stunned.

‘This game is good,’ Brax said, smiling slightly. ‘It’s called “Yecyerea”. It means …’

‘One billion,’ Leah interrupted, taking the bag of pieces from her mum and looking through, delighted. ‘How d’you play?’

‘It’s a number game,’ Brax said. ‘You can play it on your own or with other people. You start on one hundred, and the goal is to get to one billion using randomly drawn tiles. You can use any mathematical function to get there and however many tiles you like.’

‘Oh!’ Leah said happily, beaming.

‘We used to play it competitively at the Academy, either in groups or solo against one another,’ Brax stated. 

Rose pulled out the next game. It was a deck of fairly large cards, with carefully and beautifully-written gallifreyan markings on the edges. The Doctor knew that too.

‘That’s called “Klopa’nian”,’ Brax said. ‘Meaning “same word”. It is very good for learning high gallifreyan, and my favourite game when I was young. Everyone starts with eight cards, each with a random word on them. The first player puts down a card, and the next player puts down a card of a word that either sounds or means something similar, and if it’s correct, they draw another card from the pack. If you don’t have any cards that fit, you lose a card. Once you are out of cards, you are out of the game.’

Leah looked delighted, taking the cards from her mum and looking through them. ‘This is so good!’

Rose pulled out another item, this time a carved wooden toy of what the Doctor knew to be a bird from Gallifrey. He froze, shocked that Braxiatel had even remembered that.

‘This one is a toy trunkike, a gallifreyan bird,’ Brax said. ‘They have some lore attached to them, passed down from the ancient gallifreyans. They said if you keep a carved wooden trunkike next to where you sleep, they will catch your bad dreams in their claws and take them away so you will never dream of that ever again.’ He paused, looking at his little brother. ‘Modern gallifreyans rarely had dreams, and they liked to dispel such lore. However, your father dreamed. I gifted him one of these before I …’ He paused, obviously not over-enthusiastic about his next words. ‘... Before I left Gallifrey.’

Finally Rose pulled out something which she recognised. ‘A Rubik’s Cube,’ she realised. 

‘That’s a gallifreyan game?’ Leah asked, bewildered.

‘Originally, yes,’ Brax said. ‘And it was your father’s favourite. You can play this one in five dimensions.’

Leah beamed at her uncle. ‘Thank you, Uncle Brax!’

‘You are welcome,’ Brax replied, smiling in return. 

‘Mummy, Daddy, can I go play?’ Leah asked eagerly.

‘Of course, don’t forget there’s cake,’ Rose said. Leah jumped up, hugged Brax, then took all the toys she wanted to play with, and rapidly disappeared to find her playmate, Kiana.

Brax gestured to the bag. ‘Check the bottom.’

Rose did, and pulled out a bag with two pill capsules inside, one red and white, the other green. ‘What are these?’

‘The red and white capsule is for Theta,’ Brax said. ‘I know you said you had problems during labour with pain management, so I have been working on this for you. It is my own creation. It is completely unique to your physiology, Theta. It will numb the pain receptors, temporarily deaden muscles, lower your state of consciousness, and release a concentrated amount of oxytocin to your brain. You will sink into an impressionable, dream-like state, but you will retain background cognitive functions, so, for example, you will be able to answer questions. You will be somewhat, er, “spaced-out” and you are unlikely to remember much afterwards, but you will still feel painless contractions and be able to make decisions.’

‘Oh,’ Rose said, wide-eyed as the Doctor gazed at the capsule, still holding the trunkike.

‘The second is for you, Rose,’ Brax said. ‘I am aware you two also have problems through overactive fertilisation. This pill capsule will permanently prohibit the release of eggs into your uterus. You will no longer have a menstrual cycle. If you decide you do not want anymore children, you should take it. It is specifically calculated for you, Rose. You should feel absolutely no after-effects of any kind.’

‘Oh,’ Rose repeated. ‘But that’s … wow.’

Brax offered a smile. ‘It is permanent, however, so you must be sure when you take it.’ Brax then looked at them both. ‘I hope that this starts some way towards an apology.’

The Doctor was still struggling to process the trunkike. ‘Yah remaimbered,’ he said, holding up the model.

‘It was one of the very few smart things I did for you,’ Brax said. ‘Of course I remembered.’

‘Fankoo,’ the Doctor said solemnly.

‘That’s okay. And I am very, very sorry for how I acted. I am very aware of how unsympathetic I can be, and for that I apologise deeply. I am very set in my old ways, sometimes.’

‘Apology accepted,’ Rose assured him.

Brax stepped forward to the Doctor. ‘Martha told me you were having some problems communicating and with your dexterity,’ he said. ‘May I examine you?’

The Doctor nodded. Brax stooped to him, and examined his jaw.

‘No muscular paralysis,’ he mused. ‘As I thought, some brain damage, caused by a massive overload of telepathic energy. Martha told me there is a huge concentration of damage in the frontal lobe. Have you been in a healing coma at all?’

‘Ner,’ the Doctor replied, shaking his head.

‘Good,’ Brax said.

‘Why’s that good?’ Rose wanted to know.

‘Injuries of this nature – telepathically, I mean – cause a very specific type of damage, and therefore it needs a very specific way of healing,’ Brax said. ‘A healing coma would in fact be more damaging to him.’

‘Why?’

‘If he were to fix it with a healing coma, the healing would restore the damaged areas to only a quarter of their function.’

‘Oh,’ Rose said. ‘What d’you think, though? He’s gonna be fine, yeah?’

‘Has he been getting plenty of sleep?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Then yes,’ Brax replied, and pulled back from his brother. ‘And I really am very sorry, Theta.’

‘It ahkay,’ the Doctor assured him, and found himself crying again. Crying in front of Torchwood was one thing, but crying in front of Brax was hugely embarrassing.

‘Are you still taking the medicine I gave you?’ Brax wondered, gazing at him.

‘We ran out,’ Rose lied to be polite. They still had some, but the Doctor had stopped taking it.

Brax reached into his pocket, and pulled out a filled needle gun. ‘I brought some more for you, if you’d like it,’ Brax said. ‘It could help with this.’

The Doctor nodded, wiping at his face. ‘Yer. Fanks.’

Brax administered the dosage, before his eyes dropped to the Doctor’s unbandaged hand. He frowned, and took his brother’s wrist, turning his palm upwards. ‘The lergri’s gone?’

‘Yeah, we think it died savin’ him,’ Rose said. 

Brax paused to think about that, and then let go of his brother. ‘Good.’

‘Can we do anything to speed up his healin’?’ Rose wondered.

Brax paused, thinking. ‘Well, he could … oh, never mind.’

‘No, say it,’ Rose encouraged.

‘Well … we could try lindos therapy.’

* * *

As they had cake, Brax explained to everyone what exactly lindos therapy was. The Doctor was listening too, because despite having a doctorate in gallifreyan physiology, he’d never heard of it. Then again, he mused, he’d also not heard of template regeneration before Brax had pointed it out.

‘Just before the Time War, there were scientists working with the lindos hormone,’ Brax explained. ‘That is the hormone that has a huge part to play in regeneration. They produced a few papers on experiments on PRD, or Permanent Regeneration Damage, and how extended exposure to the lindos hormone in post-regeneration could help to mend problems caused by bad regenerations. By putting the patient into deep sleep and injecting a measured amount of lindos hormone into their bloodstream, it can partially mimic the process of regeneration, but at a far more localised level.’

‘So you’re sayin’ by just puttin’ him to sleep and injecting this stuff, he’ll fix?’

‘That’s the theory,’ Brax confirmed. ‘But it is experimental.’

‘What are the risks?’ Jack wondered.

‘It could trigger a regeneration,’ Brax replied. ‘As such, I would not recommend we try it unless he has a relapse.’

Rose frowned, looking at the Doctor. ‘He might have a relapse?’

‘Telepathic damage is somewhat unpredictable,’ Brax answered. ‘When Gallifrey existed, this was not a problem, the hospitallers would be able to contain the damage. But now there are no gallifreyan hospitallers, the damage cannot be contained. We just do not have the equipment. It might simply heal on its own, or the damage might suddenly grow rapidly in size. At that point, I am afraid it might be necessary, or we risk permanent brain damage.’

Everyone immediately looked at the Doctor, who was biting into some cake. He stopped mid-bite and looked around at them all, his teeth half sunk into the icing.

‘How we gonna know if it suddenly gets worse?’ Rose asked, a little anxious.

‘I am not sure,’ Brax confessed. ‘However, I think it will be fairly obvious. Perhaps increased speech problems and deteriorating motor skills.’

Rose turned to the Doctor. ‘Say somethin’.’

‘Wod d’ya wan meh to say?’ he asked.

She nodded and hugged him. ‘You’re okay.’

The Doctor resisted the urge to laugh at that, finishing his bit of cake instead. Okay wasn’t a word he’d use for himself recently.

‘Just keep an eye. It probably won’t happen, but I do like to be cautious,’ Brax said, gazing at his brother. ‘I suggest he gets some rest.’


	21. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leah finally gets to try the regeneration machine. The Doctor has a unique nightmare, before an argument with Rose sends him to Torchwood Tate for an adventure in the London Underground.

Thankfully, there was no relapse. Instead, over three more days the Doctor’s speech progressively returned back to normal, and so did his dexterity. It was somewhat of a relief for him. Having the ability to rant was something this regeneration really couldn’t cope without.

Brax had hung around, seemingly assuming the position of the Doctor’s own shadow, keeping his eye on him. It almost felt to the Doctor like Brax  _ wanted  _ him to relapse so he could immediately swoop in and save him. The Doctor wasn’t quite sure how he felt about that. Rose clearly had come to abide Brax again, but the Doctor wasn’t quite so sure. Shooting him with a harpoon again to save his life was forgivable, but the fact the Doctor had stood there and listened to Brax belittle the human race and his family to his face wasn’t something the Doctor could just disregard. Maybe he was getting a little sensitive in his old age, he thought, yet the thought continued to linger.

Torchwood had been a little quiet, so the Doctor had returned to finishing the regeneration simulation machine, suddenly feeling quite motivated as soon as his dexterity had returned. He wasn’t quite sure what had brought on the sudden determination to finish the machine, but he had a gut feeling that he knew he had to get Leah practicing.

Eventually, he finished it. With Rose’s assistance he checked it was working, and thankfully this time it didn’t short out the whole Hub. Once he’d checked the machine’s connections a thousand times and tested it another hundred, he was finally confident enough in its safety to let his daughter have a go.

Brax arrived as the Doctor was finalising everything. ‘Jack said I’d find you in here. What are you doing?’

‘Regeneration simulation machine,’ the Doctor replied.

'Really?’ Brax asked.

The Doctor paused in his work, looking at his brother. 'It's for Leah, so she can practise regeneration. Theo too, when he's ready.’

'Oh. Good idea,’ Brax replied. 'You really could have done with one of those when you were learning.’

Rose laughed. 'Did you just make a joke?’

Brax let a ghost of a smile appear on his usually quite stoic face. 'Perhaps,’ he dismissed. 'Is it ready?’

'Yeah,’ the Doctor said, nodding. 'I was just about to get Leah.’

'I will fetch her, I think she's in the vault playing with the Rubik's Cube.’

'Okay, thanks,’ the Doctor said, and his brother left. The Doctor paused for thought.

'What?’ Rose asked.

'Does he seem a bit … off to you?’ the Doctor wondered.

'What d’you mean?’

'Ever since he came back it's like he's … playing a version of himself,’ the Doctor mused.

'I don't understand.’

'It's like he's acting just to please me.’

'And you're surprised?’ 

'Pardon?’

'He said some really horrible things. He's probably regrettin’ everythin’ he said and he wants to make it up to you,’ she pointed out.

'That's the problem.’

'What?’

'My fraternal bond is completely normal. If he's regretting anything he’s not feeling it.’

'But that's good, isn't it?’

He shrugged. 'After everything that's gone between us you'd think something would happen to it. But no. It's completely normal.’

She thought about that. 'Maybe he's shut you off? I mean, just temporarily shut off the bond to you?’ she suggested.

'Why would he do that?’

'Doctor, I know he's this logical person but he can't be completely emotionless. He's your big brother, he's gotta be way too embarrassed by knowing that you can feel what he's feeling.’

'I … suppose,’ the Doctor muttered, just as the door opened and Brax came in with Leah, and the conversation ceased.

* * *

_ ‘Sleeping in the barn, again?’ Braxiatel’s voice asked in the dark. _

_ The little Doctor choked back a sob and peeked out from under the blanket. There stood his brother, staring at him with his arms folded. _

_ ‘Braxiatel, you came back.’ _

_ Braxiatel nodded. ‘You know, Father is getting pretty frustrated with you. I mean. it’s anyone’s guess who he hates more at the moment, you or me.’ _

_ ‘I don’t care about him,’ the little Doctor cried. _

_ ‘If you say so,’ Braxiatel replied, unconvinced. He climbed up the ladder, and stood next to the bed. ‘Your mother is saying you have nightmares. Is this true?’ _

_ The little Doctor buried his face under the blanket again. _

_ ‘Well?’ Braxiatel persisted. _

_ ‘Yeah,’ the little Doctor choked out. _

_ ‘Well, sleeping in this scary old barn isn’t really going to help, is it?’ Braxiatel pointed out. ‘I understand. You don’t want the cousins to see you cry, do you?’ _

_ The little Doctor didn’t reply, his face still buried under the blanket. _

_ ‘I know what’s happened. I know what they’ve done to you. But running away and hiding isn’t going to help.’ _

_ ‘Running away always works,’ the little Doctor replied quietly. _

_ ‘Did it work last week when they threw you into the mine and locked the door and left you there?’ _

_ ‘I shoulda run faster,’ the little Doctor replied, shaking. _

_ ‘Look at me,’ Braxiatel said. _

_ The little Doctor didn’t move. _

_ ‘Look at me,’ Braxiatel repeated, firmer. _

_ The little Doctor reluctantly peeked his head back out from the blanket to look at his brother. _

_ ‘You can’t just cry and run away all the time,’ Braxiatel said firmly. _

_ ‘You sound like Father,’ the little Doctor sobbed. _

_ Braxiatel hesitated, his face falling at that. ‘Do you know why you dream?’ he suddenly asked. ‘Have the hospitallers told you?’ _

_ ‘No,’ the little Doctor muttered. _

_ ‘So they haven’t found out what’s wrong with you?’ _

_ ‘No one tells me anything,’ the little Doctor replied. _

_ ‘You’re pretty special, you know,’ Braxiatel stated. _

_ ‘I’m wrong,’ the little Doctor corrected. ‘Glospin told me I’m an evolutionary throwback and my brain isn’t right.’ _

_ ‘I really hope you’re not listening to Glospin,’ Braxiatel said sternly. ‘He came out of the loom the wrong way round, so he can’t help speaking through his ass.’  _

_ The little Doctor laughed a little, and Braxiatel smiled.  _

_ ‘There’s something abnormal with you, we know. But it doesn’t have to be something bad,’ Braxiatel said. ‘No doubt they’ll find a cure for you, but in the meantime, you have to remember that dreaming makes you special. You are one of the very few gallifreyans now who dream. I’ve never had a dream. I long to have what you have. Every time I close my eyes, to have some magical images appear. Yes, sometimes they are scary, but they also are good. So what I thought you should do is encourage the bad ones to fly away, then you are only left with the good ones.’ _

_ The little Doctor looked at him, confused, before Braxiatel reached into his pocket and pulled something out. It was a carved wooden trunkike. The little Doctor stared at it, wide-eyed. _

_ ‘I hope you appreciate this, I had to go to the lowtown black market to get it,’ Braxiatel said. ‘I assume you know the stories. Carved trunkikes take away bad dreams in their claws and fly them far, far away.’ _

_ ‘That’s just a story,’ the little Doctor said. _

_ ‘Of course it’s a story, but there are many stories that are true,’ Braxiatel countered, smiling at his little brother. ‘Give it a try.’ _

_ The little Doctor reached out his hand and took the trunkike. Braxiatel widened his smile. The little Doctor gazed at him for a long moment. _

_ ‘Thank you,’ he finally said. _

_ Braxiatel nodded. _

_ Suddenly and without any apparent cause, something sparked under Braxiatel, and then he was abruptly on fire. He screamed a harrowing scream as the little Doctor watched, frozen with utter terror, as his brother began to melt before him … _

* * *

The Doctor jerked awake, his eyes snapping open, w ide and terrified. He gasped in air, panting, abruptly realising he was in the TARDIS in his bed, and Rose wasn’t there.

He took a few moments to breathe, thoughts rushing through his head. He’d just perfectly dreamt one of his memories, except Brax most definitely hadn’t burst into flames originally. 

He looked to his left, and saw the trunkike on his bedside table. He’d forgotten to give it to Leah. He took hold of it, flipping it over in his hands. ‘Well, you worked well, didn’t you,’ he muttered sarcastically to the carving.

‘Wonder if the Doctor’s awake yet?’ he suddenly heard Rose ask from beyond the door.

‘Yeah, just getting dressed,’ he replied, pushing the dream out of his head, placing the carving back on the table before getting up.

* * *

He arrived in the kitchen when Rose and Leah were. That surprised him – usually Brax was already there, stalking him.

‘Where’s Brax?’ he asked.

‘Torchwood in London, Martha needed him,’ Rose replied. ‘Oh, Jack wants to talk to you when you’re ready. Rift gettin’ some weird readings apparently.’

‘You’d think he could sort that out on his own by now,’ the Doctor mused, looking at Leah, who giggled.

‘Toast or cereal?’ Rose asked.

‘Toast, please,’ the Doctor replied.

Oh,’ Rose said, sounding surprised. ‘Okay.’

‘What?’ the Doctor asked, looking at her. ‘… Sorry, what did you just say?’

‘I didn’t say anythin’,’ she said.

‘Sorry, thought you asked,’ he said, shrugging slightly. ‘Toast anyway, please.’

‘Daddy, can we try the regeneration machine again?’ Leah asked eagerly through a mouthful of cereal.

‘Sure,’ the Doctor answered, smiling.

She beamed. ‘When?’

‘Err, this afternoon?’

‘Okay!’ she said happily, finishing her cereal and rushing off. The Doctor watched her go.

‘I wish you didn’t have to put her through this,’ Rose said suddenly.

‘I know, but she has to learn,’ the Doctor replied, looking back at her.

She turned, pausing in the toast-making. ‘Um, what?’

‘She has to learn or she’ll have problems regenerating,’ the Doctor clarified.

Rose was looking at him strangely. ‘Are you feelin’ alright?’

‘Um, what?’

She moved to him, stooping to gaze in his eyes and check his forehead temperature. ‘Have you taken your pregnancy medication today?’

‘Not yet,’ he said, confused.

‘Go and take it, you’ll feel better.’

‘I’m fine,’ the Doctor replied, puzzled.

‘Just go and take it,’ she said. 

‘Rose, I’ll do it after breakfast, you know, like I always do?’ he said.

She sighed. ‘Okay,’ she said, and gave him a cup of tea and some toast, taking the seat opposite. The Doctor could sense her boiling over slightly.

‘I had the strangest dream,’ the Doctor said, trying to change the subject to qualm her irritation. He knew from years of experience that he and Rose should never start the day with an argument. Things never went well after that. Several planets had nearly been felled in the wake of one of their arguments.

‘Yeah?’ she asked, not really sounding interested.

‘I dreamt about the night Brax gave me the trunkike. Absolutely exactly how it happened.’

‘Cool,’ Rose said dully. 

‘Then Brax burst into flames and melted on the spot.’

‘Nice.’

He sighed a little. ‘... And then you stripped naked, turned into a fairy, and danced the tarantella.’

‘Great.’

He sighed again. Turned out they were already in an argument. ‘Okay, what’s wrong?’

‘Nothin’,’ she said, getting up to retrieve the butter, but as she was turned away she spoke again, ‘you think I’m an idiot, don’t you?’

‘You’re a dumb human,’ he stated in a deadpan voice, trying to get her to laugh.

Her reaction to that was nothing that the Doctor could have anticipated. She spun around, her expression somewhere between shocked, horrified, and hurt. Her voice was barely audible, ‘what ...?’

He stopped, stunned. ‘... What?’

‘... Why would you say that?’

‘I was joking,’ he said, confused. ‘Calm down.’

She stared at him, looking so hurt and lost. Seconds later, she stormed out of the room.

‘Rose!’ he called, but already knew she wasn’t coming back anytime soon. Somewhat puzzled, he chewed on his toast thoughtfully. She was probably just having a bad mood day, he reasoned. She’d come round later.

* * *

After breakfast, the Doctor headed out into Torchwood, where Jack was busy kicking the rift manipulator machine.

‘What are you doing?’ the Doctor wondered, stopping next to him with his hands in his pockets.

‘It’s giving us readouts that we know aren’t real. Piece of sh–’

‘Hitting it isn’t going to help,’ the Doctor interrupted.

‘Works for most things,’ Jack countered. ‘And don’t act all innocent, I’ve seen you kick the Tardis.’

‘And weirdly enough, it’s never worked,’ the Doctor replied. ‘Okay, tell me what’s happened from the start.’

Jack sighed and handed him a clipboard. ‘Readings for the past eight hours. They don’t make any sense. What do you think?’

The Doctor checked the chart. The line representing the amount of feedback they were getting from the rift was looking like an outline of the landscape of the Rocky Mountains.

‘Looks like the refractor’s come loose,’ the Doctor commented, and moved to the offending object. He checked it. ‘Look.’ He moved the antennae-like object with one finger from side to side.

‘Oh,’ Jack muttered. ‘I swear to god I checked that.’

The Doctor whipped out his sonic, getting to work.

‘What’s happened with Rose?’ Jack asked. ‘She stormed out here all in tears.’

‘I have no idea,’ the Doctor confessed. ‘I made a joke and she flew off the rails.’

‘It was a pretty mean joke, Doctor,’ Jack said.

‘It wasn’t that mean,’ the Doctor protested. ‘She asked me if I thought she was an idiot and I joked she was a dumb human,’ he said, looking back up at Jack. ‘That’s not mean … right? It’s not like I haven’t joked about that before. She’s always laughed.’

Jack frowned. ‘She said you just called her a dumb human for no reason.’

The Doctor thought about that. ‘I think she’s conveniently forgetting the set-up to my punchline,’ he replied, and finished the repair.

‘So you’re not in a pregnancy mood? I figured it was that.’

‘I feel fine,’ the Doctor replied, smiling at him. 

‘Good,’ Jack replied. ‘Hey, she’s probably just woken up in a bad mood. If you wanna go and see her, she’s at Jackie’s.’

The Doctor chewed his lip thoughtfully, projecting a situation where Jackie would beat him to death with the nearest blunt object for upsetting her pregnant daughter. ‘I’ll let them get on with it,’ he concluded, straightening up and slipping the sonic back into his pocket.

Jack smirked a little, clearing reading his thoughts. ‘Well, feel free to leave at any time, cos there’s nothing happening here.’

‘I think I’d rather take my chances on dying of boredom than meeting Jackie,’ the Doctor jested.

Jack’s smirk widened. ‘Okay.’

* * *

As had been the case for the past few days, absolutely nothing was happening for Torchwood. No alien invaders or rift activity. It was almost lunchtime, and Rose was still at her mum’s. He must’ve really annoyed her, the Doctor mused.

He was so bored he was almost considering suggesting they all should take a trip in the TARDIS to alleviate his boredom, when Gwen came to find him.

‘Sorry, have you got a minute?’ she asked.

‘About seven hundred and twenty if nothing happens before I go to bed,’ the Doctor replied idly, pausing in his boredom task of continuously opening and shutting his desk drawer for no reason whatsoever to look at her.

She smiled at that. ‘My computer’s not working.’

The Doctor jumped up. ‘Lead the way,’ he said. Gwen took him back to her station, where all of the monitors were dead. He whipped out the sonic and quickly scanned it. ‘GPU is dead,’ he said immediately. ‘Hold on.’

He pulled out the base unit, opened the case and located the GPU. With another quick buzz it was fixed. He put it all back into place, rebooted the system, and the monitors sprang into life.

‘Thanks,’ Gwen said. ‘I know this is  _ really  _ boring for you.’

‘Most excitement I’ve had all day,’ he assured her, checking the wires.

‘Are you and Rose okay?’ she asked.

The Doctor shrugged. ‘I made a joke earlier and she didn’t take it very well.’

‘Yeah, she told me. You in one of your pregnancy moods?’

‘I'm fine. I think  _ she  _ was in a bad mood since she woke up.’

‘Really? She’s been fine with me this morning before you two argued,’ Gwen said.

‘Oh, must just be me, then,’ the Doctor jested. ‘And I thought I was the one who was allowed to emotionally overreact these days.’

‘I dunno, it  _ was  _ quite mean.’

‘What did she tell you?’ the Doctor wondered.

‘That you called her a stupid human for no reason.’

‘She’s really got a selective memory,’ the Doctor said. ‘She set me up for a joke I’ve made a thousand times.’

‘Maybe she didn’t want to hear that joke at that time?’ she mused.

‘Oh no, that's not how she works,’ the Doctor said, shaking his head. ‘If she likes a joke and wants me to do it more, she grins with her tongue between her teeth, and shoots a joke back. If she wants me to be less cheeky, then she laughs and usually touches me like straightening my tie or something. If she doesn't want to hear it, she smiles and then nods a little without saying anything.’

Gwen smirked and took her seat. 'You've really got her totally figured out, haven't you?’

'Not completely,’ the Doctor confessed. 'I'm still having trouble telling whether she wants barbeque sauce or brown sauce on her bacon sandwich.’

Gwen laughed. 'Oh, she'll come around. Well, if anything exciting happens here I’ll let you know.’

‘Please,’ he said, and left back to his station. 

* * *

Another hour of absolutely nothing passed. The Doctor was so hugely bored that he was flicking rolled up balls of paper into the bin. The only interruption to his work day had been Leah, bounding up to tell him she was going to Torchwood Tate. He waved her off, and resumed flicking the balls of paper into the bin.

‘All right?’ Jack asked, stepping up to him about twenty minutes later.

‘I’m so  _ bored,’  _ the Doctor complained, spinning around in his chair.

Jack grinned a little. ‘I just talked to Rose. She’s still seriously annoyed at you.’

The Doctor sighed, and stopped spinning. ‘Great.’

‘You know, you don’t  _ have  _ to be here. There’s seriously nothing happening.’

‘Where am I gonna go?’ the Doctor asked seriously.

‘Take a trip with Leah?’

‘I can’t take Leah and go without Rose. She’ll break my arm, the mood she’s in.’

‘I’ll tell her I ordered you,’ Jack said. ‘Say you’re having some R and R to make sure you’re in a better mood for her.’

‘She’s the one in a mood, not me.’

Jack sighed. ‘Be reasonable. Clearly you think she’s wrong and she thinks you’re wrong. You resolve this by pretending that you were wrong, and then she’s happy. Take Leah, have a trip, come back tomorrow.’

* * *

The Doctor took the transmat to Torchwood Tate to find his daughter. At quite the polar opposite to Cardiff, this Torchwood was absolutely brimming with activity. Martha and Mickey were chatting into a communicator at their stations, seemingly naming random London tube stations, Brax was saying a string of numbers and Leah was sitting at a desk, pressing the numbers that Brax was dictating. No one had noticed him arrive.

‘Can I help?’ the Doctor asked, stepping up to Martha and Mickey.

‘Oh! Hello,’ Martha greeted.

‘Doctor,’ Mickey acknowledged.

‘Can you check the stacks?’ Martha asked, pointing to another computer. The Doctor nodded and moved over to it, next to Leah.

‘Hi, Daddy!’ she said happily as Brax continued reading out numbers, nodding to greet his brother. Seth arrived, looking rushed and out of breath.

‘Oh, hey Doctor,’ he said, and looked at Brax. ‘I’m ready.’

‘Go, now,’ Brax ordered.

Seth looked at the Doctor. ‘You wanna come?’

With the day he’d had so far, the Doctor couldn’t resist a bit of excitement. ‘Yes,’ he said immediately, despite knowing absolutely nothing about what was going on or where Seth was going. 

‘Can I come?’ Leah asked eagerly.

‘No,’ the Doctor replied, heading to join Seth, letting Martha and Mickey put a load of equipment on him.

Leah jumped off of her chair and ran to him. ‘Daddy, I wanna come!’

'I said no,’ the Doctor repeated as Mickey stuck a comms unit on his ear.

'Frequency 4.9,’ Martha told him and he quickly adjusted it. 'Have you got a torch?’

'Left it in my coat,’ the Doctor said. Leah tugged insistently on his trousers as Martha darted off to get a torch for him.

'You never let me do anything!’ Leah complained.

'Leah, we've talked about this …’

'Here,’ Martha said, handing him the torch. 'Get to the tube station, right now.’

'Pohh,’ Leah said, still tugging on his trousers and looking up at him with those big eyes that had a knack of reducing the Doctor to Leah's Plasticine.

He forced himself to look away from her, avoiding her adorable gaze. 'Don't “daddy” me, you're not coming.’

'Theta,’ Brax called from across the Hub. 'Take her.’

'What?’ the Doctor asked, stupefied.

'Yeah, take me!’ Leah said eagerly.

'Is she goin’ or not, cos we haven't got a lot of time!’ Mickey said, already holding up another comms unit for the girl.

‘Yeah!’ Leah said, jumping up and swiping it from his hands. She put it on. The Doctor gave up.

‘All right, but next to me at  _ all  _ times, okay?’

‘Okay!’ she said happily, as they both joined Seth and ran out of the door into the London street. 


	22. In Too Deep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor, Seth, and Leah head into London Underground, where something’s waiting in the dark.

‘This way!’ Seth said, and started running. The Doctor followed him whilst continuously checking on Leah, embracing the adrenaline he’d been missing recently as they ran full pelt through throngs of people, across streets, down an avenue and under a bridge before they headed straight into Southwark Tube Station. He found himself a little out of breath as they hit the queue to the ticket barrier. He was probably both out of practise, and still feeling very pregnant.

_ ‘Doctor, can you hear me?’  _ Martha asked.

‘Loud and clear, he responded.

_ ‘Leah?’ _

‘Yeah!’ the little girl said. The Doctor took her hand as they reached the barrier and he whipped out his psychic paper, pressing it to the Oyster point, which allowed all three of them to pass through the ticket barrier.

_ ‘Get on the Jubilee northbound, one stop.’ _

‘Yes, ma’am,’ the Doctor answered as he, Leah, and Seth ran down the escalator, all of the commuters far too busy staring blankly ahead to even notice them. They got onto the northbound platform, where a train was already waiting. They jumped on just before the doors closed, and they were off.

_ ‘This is a Jubilee Line train to Stanmore. The next station is Waterloo. Change for Northern, Bakerloo, Waterloo and City lines, and National Rail services,’  _ the announcement said.

He, Leah, and Seth took position next to the door. Seth briefly looked around the commuters, who were mostly silent, a lot of them holding newspapers. 

‘Where are these people going?’ the boy from the year six billion and eighty-six asked in an undertone to the time travelling alien.

'Er, banks, shops, money,’ the Time Lord replied, shrugging slightly. 'Jobs. Something like that.’

‘Hello!’ Leah said happily to the nearest commuter, who was a middle-aged man in a suit reading the Metro. The commuter looked briefly at her, gave something that approximated a smile – or possibly wind – and returned to their paper. Leah looked up at her dad. ‘Daddy, he’s rude,’ she said loudly.

The commuter looked back up, their nose wrinkling as they gazed at the Doctor.

‘Sorry,’ the Doctor said to them only half sincerely, and dropped to Leah. ‘Come on, Leah, you know there’s a law that you’re not allowed to talk to anyone on the Tube.’

Leah giggled loudly. The commuter harrumphed, and returned to their paper. The Doctor held up his hand to press on the comm to Torchwood. ‘Any information on what we're looking for?’

_ 'Not much,’  _ Martha confessed. ' _ There’s evidence it’s killed a security guard and we know it’s heading through the underground, fast. No CCTV, nothing. No idea what it is. There’s some sort of time hole or fissure, not big enough to catch a train yet but it won’t be long, we think it’s getting bigger.’ _

‘Helpful,’ the Doctor replied, looking at Seth, who was grinning as the train began to slow.

_ ‘This is Waterloo.  _ C _ hange here for Northern, Bakerloo, Waterloo and City lines, and National Rail services. Please mind the gap between the train and the platform. This is a Jubilee Line train to Stanmore.’ _

The train stopped, and the doors opened. The Doctor, Leah, and Seth got out, looking around.

_ ‘Access door to your left,’  _ Martha said. 

‘Okay,’ the Doctor replied, and took Seth and Leah’s arms so he didn’t lose them in the crowd. He pulled them down the platform straight to the door at the end. Glancing around for any eyes, he sonicked the lock, and the trio slipped inside.

_ ‘Should be access to the line. Get on the rails and head north.’ _

‘Get on the rails?’ the Doctor repeated, raising his eyebrows.

_ ‘Yes … problem?’ _

‘Nothing,’ the Doctor replied sardonically, heading down the low-lit corridor as they heard the train they’d alighted disembark on its way to Westminster. They all continued for about twenty seconds in a jog, before suddenly they were met by a man in a high-vis jacket, who looked very shocked to see them.

‘Oi, you’re not s’pose to be in ‘ere,’ the man said.

‘Oh, don't worry,’ the Doctor said, whipping out his psychic paper to show it to the man.

‘Chief Inspector of Train Lines and Personnel,’ the man read out loud. He looked at the Doctor, raising an eyebrow. ‘Never ‘eard of it, mate.’

‘Newly created Transport for London position,’ the Doctor said, smiling reassuringly at him. 

‘What, another one?’ the man complained.

‘Oh, you know what it’s like these days,’ the Doctor replied, shrugging a little. ‘Bureaucracy and red tape gone mad.’

‘S’pose.’ The man, although clearly still not happy, seemed to accept that, and looked at the teenager and the child with him. ‘You can’t ‘ave kids in ‘ere.’

‘Err, “bring your children to work day”,’ the Doctor replied, maintaining his smile. ‘Learning loads about daddy’s job, aren’t we, kids?’ he directed to Seth and Leah.

‘Oh, loads!’ Seth said on cue.

‘When I grow up I wanna be a Transport for London Chief Inspector of Train Lines and Personnel!’ Leah said, beaming from ear to ear.

‘That’s my girl,’ the Doctor encouraged.

‘I don’t care who you are, ya can’t ‘ave kids in ‘ere,’ the man said to the Doctor.

‘Exemption,’ the Doctor replied. ‘Article 65, subsection B, clause 14. It’s all there in the Chief Inspector of Train Lines health and safety manual.’

The man shook his head in disbelief. ‘I don't like this. I'm gonna talk to Charlie ‘bout it. You come with me.’

‘Oh, excellent use of procedures. Always good to check a story,’ the Doctor agreed, not moving. ‘Heaven forfend there's ever a complete stranger in the rail network with children. We don't want that. Well done, sir. What’s your name?’

‘Err, Nigel. Nigel Slater,’ Nigel replied, stunned.

‘Well, I’m so glad at least some of us are still committed to health and safety like you, Nigel,’ the Doctor replied. ‘I’ll definitely be mentioning you to Charlie as a stellar employee, and recommending you at the next employee evaluation meeting.’

Nigel stared at him. ‘Err, what? You’re gonna recommend me?’

‘Of course I am. I think you’re perfect management material, Nigel,’ the Doctor said.

The man paused, clearly struggling to decide what to do now. ‘God knows I've been overlooked for promotion.'

'It's about time,' the Doctor agreed.

'Well … Okay. You 'ave a good day, sir.’

‘You have a good day too, Nigel,’ the Doctor said, still smiling as he shook the bewildered man’s hand vigorously.

As the man left, the Doctor finally registered the sound of laughter in his earpiece. Martha was in fits.

_ ‘I'd forgotten you could do that!’  _ she said in-between giggles.

The Doctor grinned at Seth and Leah, before they continued down the corridor. They finally reached an end door, and emerged onto a maintenance platform inside the rail tunnels. In front of them was a point where the line forked. There were a couple of lights, but otherwise it was very dark, very cold, and very quiet besides the distant rumbles of trains.

'Nobody leaves my side, yes?’ the Doctor directed at Seth and Leah, who both emphatically nodded. Leah looked a bit scared, so the Doctor took her hand, and led her and Seth down the access steps.

_ 'We've lost some ground, it's halfway to Westminster, now,’  _ Martha said.  _ 'Take the left track.’ _

The Doctor guided them to the left track, where they gazed down the track to a portal of utter blackness. The Doctor flicked on his torch and panned it around. It looked magnificent, and the Doctor couldn’t help but marvel at human engineering. Steel girders in a circular shape were forming the shape of the tunnel, with wires snaking the sides down the length of the track. There were intermittent platforms on the side. In-between the platforms, the gap between the wall and the line was very, very slight. Beyond a certain point, there was very little light.

‘Don’t touch the track. That bit there …’ – the Doctor pointed to the live wire in the track – ‘... is full of electric. It’s fatal.’

‘Okay,’ Seth said.

‘Mm,’ Leah squeaked, tightening her hand on his a little more.

‘We’ll do this in spurts,’ he said. ‘See that maintenance platform there?’ He shone his torch and pointed. ‘We run there and stop, check it’s safe, and then get to the next one. Don’t rush yourselves. Quick but confident steps. Got it?’

‘Yep,’ Seth said.

‘Yeah,’ Leah concurred.

‘Okay. Martha?’

_ ‘Ninety seconds till the next train,’  _ Martha said.

‘Okay, go,’ the Doctor said, and the three ran together down the edge of the line, reaching the platform without a problem. He checked the distance of the next maintenance platform.

_ ‘Forty-five seconds.’ _

He did a mental calculation of how quickly they could get there, and decided against it. ‘Stay here. The train’s going to rush past us, but it’s okay. We'll feel the drag, so hold onto something that seems sturdy.’

Seth and Leah both immediately clung onto him.

'I didn't mean  _ me _ … Never mind,’ the Doctor said, and held onto some railing. They waited. 

_ 'Ten seconds,’  _ Martha said as a quiet rumble quickly became louder.

'Hold onto your hats!’ the Doctor cried, and the train whipped past, the air hitting them like a hammer as the train screeched on the lines, nearly deafening them with the heads of commuters whizzing by in a blur. After a few seconds the end of the train went by, and it was gone.

_ ‘Everyone okay?’  _ Martha asked.

The Doctor checked Seth and Leah. ‘Yep, still here!’ he affirmed, half-shouting from the assault on his ears. The train driver may have noticed them, so they had to be quick. ‘Right, next maintenance platform, go!’

They moved again, reaching the next maintenance platform without a problem.

_ ‘Three minutes till the next train. The entity’s half a mile up this track.’ _

The Doctor judged the distance again. ‘Okay, let’s go for it,’ he said, and they started moving again. They were halfway there, when Martha’s voice came back, urgent.

_ ‘Wait! There … a del … come …’ _

The Doctor’s eyes widened, stopping. ‘Martha, you’re breaking up!’

_ ‘Sys … sig .. failure …’ _

The Doctor pull off his comm and blasted it with the sonic before putting it back on. ‘Martha?’

_ ‘Can you hear me!?’ _

‘Martha, your standard Torchwood comms can’t reach this far down,’ the Doctor said quickly. ‘I’ve done a temporary signal boost but it won’t last long.’

_ ‘There’s one heading towards you! It’s changed track off-schedule!’ _

‘Move!’ the Doctor urged Seth, as he scooped up Leah and started to run as the rails suddenly began to judder, and the sound of a train heading towards them burst into being.

They were still fifty metres from the safety of the maintenance platform as the Doctor looked over his shoulder, and saw the train ploughing towards them, unrelenting. Leah clung onto him desperately, and thankfully he reached the platform with time to spare.

He looked back, and realised with horror that Seth had tripped and was on the rails, inches from the live wire.

‘Stay here!’ the Doctor yelled at Leah, and jumped back off of the platform and straight back to Seth, who was crying out for help. It became clear as the Doctor reached him – he’d tripped over a piece of engineering equipment that had no business being there and fallen sideways onto the track.

The Doctor checked the train. It was nearly there. He threw out a hand and hauled Seth up. 

‘Doctor!’ 

The Doctor froze at the sound of Rose’s voice, only just managing to jump back in time. The train missed him and Seth by a matter of inches.

It felt like forever before the train had passed, and the Doctor quickly looked to Seth. ‘Seth!’ he called, unable to hear himself from the sheer sound of the train that had gone by. The teenager was wide-eyed and gasping.

‘Martha, Rose,’ the Doctor said into his comm. ‘Martha, Rose, can you hear me?’ 

It was dead. They were on their own.

‘Okay?’ he asked the teenager. 

Seth nodded, looking a little shaken. ‘I’m so sorry …’

‘We’re fine, so don’t worry,’ the Doctor assured him, and looked back to check Leah. She was standing on the maintenance platform, still clinging to the railing and looking very scared. The Doctor and Seth went to her, where the Doctor obligingly hugged the terrified five-year-old.

‘What do we do?’ Seth asked. ‘Do we go back?’

The Doctor considered that. They were nearly there, but at the same time, they no longer had any idea when the trains were coming. This was getting very,  _ very  _ dangerous. He opened his mouth to tell Seth to take Leah back so he could go on alone, when he was interrupted by an unearthly screech,  _ very  _ close to them. Seconds later, there was the sound of beating wings, and something dived. The Doctor kept a hand on Leah as he dropped to the ground.

It passed over them, screeching. He got back up, looking behind him. He couldn't see it. He quickly pointed the torch, and they caught a glimpse of something with claws flying rapidly out of view.

'What the hell was that?’ Seth asked, his eyes wide with fear.

‘Something that means we should run in the opposite direction,’ the Doctor said quickly, and started to move. But the second they were off it swooped again, and this time Leah screamed.

‘Leah!?’ the Doctor cried, alarmed. He turned to look, and his hearts froze in his chest.

Leah was gone.

'LEAH!’ he screamed, jumping to his feet. He flashed up his torch and saw her feet flash by overhead. The creature had her in its grip.

'Daddy!’ she cried as the creature flew down the track.

'I'm coming!’ he called, and started to run after her.

'Doctor, the train!’ he heard Seth yell. He checked over his shoulder and saw the train heading at speed straight towards him.

‘Run back, call Torchwood, get help!’ the Doctor shouted, and continued down the line after Leah. The creature screeched again, and now Leah was silent. 

The train was  _ so  _ fast. He flashed his torch and got a glimpse of the creature. He desperately threw out a hand and grabbed onto it. It screeched, and suddenly he was flying.

He saw Leah, about to be dropped by the creature right in front of the train. He grabbed her arm and with a super strength he hauled her up with one arm to clear the danger zone, just as the train went by below underneath.

He had to act, and very quickly. He let go of the creature, and dropped onto the roof of the train, causing him to roll backwards with Leah and nearly fall off. He desperately tried to grab something for support, and just about clung onto some protruding piece of metal that cut straight into his fingers. He yelled, clinging desperately to Leah’s arm …

Suddenly the world started to spin, and it was getting hotter very quickly. To his absolute horror, the Doctor knew exactly what was happening. This was the time distortion Torchwood had detected. The creature, whatever it was, had come through it. They were about to pass through a wormhole, and without protection the heat flash was going to burn them to a crisp ...

He cocooned himself around Leah, protecting her as best he could. If he could shield her from the heat flash, she could survive …

The creature pounced onto them again, desperate to devour. He could do nothing but hold his daughter with every modicum of strength he had, waiting for the inevitable.


	23. The Enigma: Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Leah find themselves on a game show spaceship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amount of enjoyment I had in writing this chapter is probably disturbing.

Leah woke up to the sound of alarms.

She opened her eyes to find herself lying on metal, her body in a heap. Things were initially a little blurry, before things focused and she realised very quickly that she was on a spaceship, and the marks, dust and general lack of maintenance indicated it had seen better days. 

She sat up immediately at this revelation, wide-eyed. She looked around and saw the Tube train in front of her, partially on fire, seemingly having broken through the outer hull of the ship. On her left was a skeleton of something which had wings, and - to her relief - her dad was on her left lying on the floor next to her, clearly unconscious. He looked a little singed, but otherwise fine. She crawled to him, shaking his shoulder.

‘Daddy, wake up,’ she prompted.

His brow furrowed, and he opened bleary eyes. ‘Leah,’ he muttered, frowning. ‘You okay?’

‘Yeah. You’re red,’ she told him, pointing at his hands and neck.

Her dad quickly checked himself. ‘Just some mild flash burns,’ he assured her, his eyes drifting to the burnt winged skeleton briefly. 'Looks like it took the brunt.'

Despite her assurances, he checked her anyway, before he was convinced and finally turned his attention to their situation.

‘Oh,’ he muttered as he gazed at the Tube train. He got up, straightening his shirt. ‘Stay here, okay?’ he told Leah. She nodded as he moved away, checking the Tube train and the gaping hole in the side of the ship. He returned, his expression conveying nothing positive.

‘Only a few people in the train but the heat flash killed them. Sorry,’ her dad said in the direction of the train, looking pained, before doing a quick scan with his sonic. ‘Oh, fantastic,’ he muttered sarcastically.

‘What?’ Leah asked, taking his hand. 

‘The fissure’s outside of the ship,’ he replied. ‘Getting back through is going to be interesting.’

Leah thought about that. ‘Maybe we could find escape pods?’

He looked at her, and after a moment smiled. ‘Good thinking. We should find someone.’ He moved to a nearby terminal, and started hammering buttons. The alarm stopped. Leah stayed resolutely by his side as he worked. ‘Well, that’s not good.’

‘What?’

‘This isn’t a ship with a crew, so no one’s here,’ he said, and tapped some buttons. ‘Ah, okay. Good news is, the escape pods are still here and fully functioning.’

Leah frowned. ‘Um, if there’s no crew why are there escape pods?’

Her dad thought about that. ‘Very good question. Must be a place that was visited by people, but never crewed. Hold on, I’ll see if there’s any logs.’

As he did that, Leah stepped back and looked around the room. It was less of a room like she was used to seeing on spaceships, and more like a stage of some kind. In front of her, beyond the wrecked train, was a set of steps leading up to a single, grand door that was studiously lit, and something was written above it. She moved a little closer, but realised the writing was in a language she didn’t know, and with the TARDIS so far away it wasn’t translating. ‘Daddy,’ she prompted, and pointed up.

He stopped messing with the terminal, and followed her indication. ‘Welcome to the Enigma,’ he translated. ‘It’s written in neo-Anglian. Future version of British English. Oh.  _ Now  _ I know where we are. ’

She looked at him. ‘Where?’

‘In the 31st century, humans started making spaceships that were basically automated game shows with robot hosts, automatic filming and transmission, so it doesn’t need a crew,’ her dad explained, ‘this is the Enigma, everyone’s favourite.’ He considered the slightly dilapidated nature of the ship. ‘Looks like it went out of use.’

‘Why?’

‘Probably lost its popularity and the ship was abandoned. The great news is that the escape pods are only three rooms away,’ her dad said, pointing towards the large door. ‘We  _ could  _ go around through the maintenance route, but I think it’s more fun to go through the games. They still work. What d’you reckon?’

Leah beamed. ‘Yeah!’

He grinned, and took her hand. ‘Let’s play,’ he said, and led her up to the door. As soon as they on the platform in front of the door, a monitor to their right burst into life. Leah giggled as a robot styled as a human in a tuxedo appeared.

_ ‘Hello, and welcome to the brand new series of Enigma, the most watched quiz show of the human empire!’  _ the robot said in an accent that wasn’t entirely dissimilar to an American variant, sounding very enthusiastic.  _ ‘On the Enigma, contestants must face three puzzle challenges in three rooms to win! This year the puzzles are harder but the prize is greater – fifty million credits could be yours for solving the Enigma! I’m your host, XYGS43-B, and I’ll be helping along the way. Without any further ado, let’s meet today’s contestants. Tell us a bit about yourselves. What are your names, how old are you, what do you do, and where are you both from?’ _

‘I’m Leah, I’m five, I’m a time traveller, and I’m from Gallifrey and Earth!’ Leah said, bouncing slightly in anticipation. ‘This is my daddy, the Doctor, he’s like, a thousand, he saves the universe and he’s from Gallifrey!’

_ ‘Oh, it’s always great to see family groups of contestants; fathers and daughters always do well here!’  _ the robot said happily.  _ ‘It’s a pleasure to have you both on the show. Now we know our contestants, the only thing left to do is solve the Enigma! Are you ready to enter?’ _

‘Yeah!’ Leah responded, looking up at her dad who was grinning. 

_ ‘Then let’s play!’ _

Some music sting played on some speakers around them and there was a burst of smoke from the sides of the door as it slowly and dramatically parted open, the lighting in a frenzy.

_ ‘It’s time to enter the Enigma!’  _ the robot said happily, and they both stepped through, Leah giggling every step of the way.

They both entered a darkened room, and the doors closed behind them with a thud and some noises to indicate it was locking. The lights came up, and it revealed a network of small tunnels in a crazy pattern, like a maze.

_ ‘Our first game today is physical! Which one of you will be playing?’ _

‘Can I?’ Leah asked eagerly, looking up at her dad.

‘Of course,’ he replied, gesturing and smiling. She giggled and hugged him briefly before she stepped up. ‘I’m playing!’

_ ‘Leah’s put herself forward for this one!’  _ the robot said.  _ ‘The Doctor, you will now retreat into the soundproof pod whilst Leah plays the game. Wish her luck!’ _

Her dad nodded. ‘Have fun,’ he told his daughter, and left in the direction indicated.

_ ‘Okay, Leah. Solve this puzzle and you’ll be one step closer to solving the Enigma!’ _

Leah looked up to the soundproof pod where her dad was sitting, waving at her. She waved back.

_ ‘In this game, you need to navigate the tunnel maze within a three minute time limit. Find the Enigma diamond and you’ll be through to the next room! Are you ready to play?’ _

‘Yeah!’

_ ‘Your time starts ... now!’ _

Leah launched herself into the opening tunnel, happily crawling her way through. She took a left, right, then forward - picking tunnels at random, but very much enjoying it.

She hit a dead end so backed up, retracing her crawl to the previous fork of tunnels, taking the centre one instead.

_ ‘Leah’s storming this game, she’s already a quarter of the way to the diamond with two minutes still left on the clock!’  _ the robot host enthused, but it sounded a little bit warped. She supposed she wasn’t meant to hear that, and continued.

_ ‘The Doctor’s cheering her on in the sound booth, they’re definitely making a good fist of this game!’  _ the robot said, still slightly warped. She continued, taking a right.  _ ‘Oh no, a wrong turn! This is going to cost her!’ _

Leah backed up immediately, and tried the left instead.

_ ‘She’s back up and taken the correct route! It’s almost like she can hear me!’  _ the robot said. 

Leah grinned, and tried the next left.

_ ‘Of course, what Leah doesn’t know is that in this new series of Enigma, if the contestants don’t complete the puzzle in the time limit, they will automatically be burnt to death!’  _ the robot said with just as much enthusiasm as before.

Leah stopped, wide-eyed. ‘What?’

_ ‘Leah’s stopped moving! This is going to cost her some time!’  _ it continued as though it hadn’t said anything before.

She blinked. ’Daddy?’

_ ‘She’s only got one minute left until she’s burnt alive!’  _ the robot said.

It suddenly felt like the floor beneath her was beginning to warm up, or was that just her imagination? Was it part of the game? ‘Daddy!’ she cried again.

_ ‘She’d better get a move on! Only fifty seconds until she’s burnt alive!’ _

Leah decided she had to move. ‘Daddy!!!’ she screamed as she scrambled forward, now desperate to find the diamond and get back to her daddy. She tried the next right, and to her utter dismay hit a dead end. 

The floor was  _ definitely  _ heating up. ‘Daddy!’ she cried yet again.

No answer. She crawled back and this time took the right.

_ ‘Thirty seconds left!’  _ the robot chimed.

The floor was now starting to get uncomfortably hot as tears of sheer terror came to her eyes. ‘Let me out!!!’ she wailed, hitting yet another dead end.

_ ‘Twenty seconds!’ _

‘No!’ Leah screamed, doubling back on herself yet again. ‘Daddy! Please, I don’t wanna play this anymore!’

_ ‘It’s no use stopping when she’s only got ten seconds left! This is looking like a definite burn-out, folks!’ _

She finally saw the diamond she had to retrieve. She scrambled forward, gasping back the tears and grabbed it. The floor was starting to burn her hands and knees. She looked for an exit, but there was nothing.

_ ‘She’s still got to get back to the start of the maze, and she’s not going to make it! It’s our first burn-out of the new series, viewers!’ _

‘DADDY!’

_ ‘Burn-out in five seconds!’ _

Leah curled up into the foetal position, crying her heart out ... 

_ ‘Oh! The Doctor has activated the team’s Switch lifeline with three seconds to go! Enigma, make the Switch!’ _

Leah suddenly felt light-headed, in the now familiar feeling of being transmatted. When she opened her eyes she’d returned to the start of the maze, holding the diamond. A second later, the tunnel in front of her burst into white-hot flames through forceful jets.

She gasped, for a moment only about to stare at the flames. 

_ ‘That was close! Congratulations Leah, you’ve made it through the first game! Let’s give her a round of applause, folks!’ _

There came the sound of canned applause which stopped abruptly.

_ ‘Make your way to the next room for the second game!’ _

Shaking, Leah forced herself upright, looking at the soundproof pod for her dad, but the window was blacked out and she couldn’t see in. Wiping at her eyes with her sleeve, she walked with unsteady legs to the door.

A monitor above her head burst into life where she saw the robot, as charismatic as before.  _ ‘Well done, [ConTEsTAnt ID ErrOr 182]! How do you feel?’ _

‘Where’s my daddy?’ Leah asked, sobbing, looking desperately around for him.

_ ‘[RespOnSE PhRAsE NOt iN MeMORy BaNK PlEasE tRY AgaiN eRROr 300 DefAULt RespoNSe inITIAtEd]. That’s great! It’s time for a break now, and with only one lifeline left, will [ConTEsTAnt ID ErrOr 182] be able to solve the Enigma? Find out after these messages!’ _

The monitor switched off, and Leah was left in the corridor to the next game, alone.

‘Daddy?’ she tried, her voice breaking.

Nothing.

She moved to the door that led to the soundproof pod, but the windows were still blacked out. She tried the door, but it wasn’t shifting. She whacked her fist on the door instead, calling out for him.

Nothing.

‘DADDY!’ she screamed, her voice raw.

Nothing.

For a minute she stood there, waiting for him to appear. 

He didn’t.

The monitor burst back into life. ‘ _ Back from messages in three, two, one … Hello, and welcome back!’  _ the robot said.  _ ‘Before the break, [ConTEsTAnt ID ErrOr 182] entered our first game, the Maze! [PErsonAL PRONouN ID errOR 623] was doing well until the last minute. Her teammate, [ConTEsTAnt ID ErrOr 182], opted for the Switch lifeline, and burnt to death in her place! With the team now down to one person, is it possible for her to solve the Enigma? Let’s find out!’ _

‘Burnt to death?’ Leah croaked.

_ ‘On with the show!’ _ the robot said happily.  _ ‘[ConTEsTAnt ID ErrOr 182], please enter the next game!’ _

‘I don’t wanna do this anymore!’ Leah yelled at the monitor. ‘Let us out!’

_ ‘[RespOnSE PhRAsE NOt iN MeMORy BaNK PlEasE tRY AgaiN eRROr 300]. [ConTEsTAnt ID ErrOr 182], please enter the next game!’ _

‘I’m not playing!!!’

_ ‘[ConTEsTAnt ID ErrOr 182], please enter the next game!’ _

She looked desperately around for an exit, but there wasn’t one. ‘I give up, okay?’

_ ‘[RespOnSE PhRAsE NOt iN MeMORy BaNK PlEasE tRY AgaiN eRROr 300]. [ConTEsTAnt ID ErrOr 182], please enter the next game!’ _

‘Let us out!’

_ ‘[RespOnSE PhRAsE NOt iN MeMORy BaNK PlEasE tRY AgaiN eRROr 300]. [ConTEsTAnt ID ErrOr 182], please enter the next game!’ _

Leah tried so desperately not to cry. ‘Please,’ she gasped.

_ ‘[RespOnSE PhRAsE NOt iN MeMORy BaNK PlEasE tRY AgaiN eRROr 300]. [ConTEsTAnt ID ErrOr 182], please enter the next game! You have ten seconds before you’re timed out!’ _

She swallowed back more tears as she realised she didn’t have a choice. The game wasn’t going to let her out. Whatever had happened to her dad meant it was now up to her. 

He couldn’t have burnt to death. He just couldn’t have.

She steeled herself, and moved down the corridor to the next grand, carefully-lit door.


	24. The Enigma: Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leah’s left to play the sadistic game alone following the disappearance of her father.

Rose had got back to Torchwood after lunch, only to find the place just as inactive as she’d left it that morning. Jack was secreted in his office, and Gwen and Ianto were out for lunch. There was no sign of the Doctor or Leah.

She decided to go and watch some television until they got back. She yelled for the Doctor, just in case he was hiding from her, but he didn’t answer. Probably on a mission, she reasoned, so phoning him wouldn’t be convenient.

She retrieved a cup of tea and some biscuits, and went to the living room on the TARDIS. Kicking off her shoes, she pulled a blanket over herself, and began to channel hop. 

Alien television was a fascinating thing to watch. A lot of strange television shows that were interestingly parallel to what Rose was used to – house buying programs, auction programs, dramas, soaps – just with aliens and some futuristic words she didn’t have a concept of. Despite having been involved in the time travel game for quite a while now, when she and the Doctor watched this kind of thing together, he’d spend half of the time explaining what was happening, what they were talking about, and what the machines they were using were. 

She stopped on a random channel, sighing as she thought of him, her eyes drifting to the wall. Okay, so he’d been point-blank rude, but it wasn’t like she didn’t expect that of him sometimes, especially while she was pregnant.

She decided she needed to apologise to him, and hope he wasn’t too annoyed in his current state.

Her eyes drifted back to the television. It took her a moment to focus. She blinked in surprise at what she saw, and rubbed her eyes, just in case she was seeing things. 

She wasn’t.

The Doctor and Leah were on television.

Leaning forward slightly, she watched them, standing outside some grand door that had ‘ **Welcome to the Enigma** ’ written above it. She knocked up the volume, unable to believe what she was seeing.

_ ‘... Family groups of contestants; fathers and daughters always do well here!’  _ the robot said happily.  _ ‘It’s a pleasure to have you both on the show. Now we know our contestants, the only thing left to do is solve the Enigma! Are you ready to enter?’ _

_ ‘Yeah!’  _ Leah responded.

_ ‘Then let’s play!’ _

She slowly reached for her phone to call Jack. Two rings, and he picked up.

_ ‘Rose, are you back yet? Listen, I’m in London, we’ve got a huge problem …’ _

‘Um, yeah, I am,’ Rose said slowly, still staring at the television screen.

_ ‘It’s the Doctor and Leah, they went into the Underground, and now they’ve gone missing …’ _

‘I’ve found ‘em,’ she said, watching her husband and daughter step through the large door.

_ ‘What!? They’re there?’ _

‘Um … well, they’re on the telly.’

_ ‘... Say that again?’ _

‘They’re on TV,’ she clarified, still far too dumbfounded to be anything but deadpan.

He paused for a moment.  _ ‘... Be right with you,’  _ he said, and hung up.

She dropped the phone, staring at the television. 

_ ‘The Doctor, you will now retreat into the soundproof pod whilst Leah plays the game. Wish her luck!’  _ the robot host said.

Ten seconds later, Jack and Brax came running in, out of breath. Nobody said anything as they both looked at the television.

_ ‘Leah’s storming this game, she’s already a quarter of the way to the diamond with two minutes still left on the clock!’  _ the robot host enthused, but it sounded a little bit warped. 

‘What the hell is this?’ Rose finally asked, looking at Brax and Jack.

Brax shrugged. ‘I have never seen it before.’

‘This is the Enigma game show,’ Jack realised. ‘We learnt about this in history. A gameshow from the 31st century. It’s on a spaceship. They must’ve gone through the fissure and ended up there … oh, shit.’

Rose looked at him as his eyes widened. ‘What?’

‘It got cancelled cos … well, late 31st century, there was this married couple playing. They got to the final game, but they failed. Instead of your usual commiserations, the AI killed them both. It sucked out all of the oxygen and they died before anyone could get there. Live on air. The robot just treated it like part of the game. They couldn’t do forensics on the system because the AI ran the whole ship. They just guessed that some virus had got into it. It was too expensive to destroy the ship so they shut the whole thing down and left.’

‘Oh my god,’ Rose muttered, staring at the screen.

‘This could be at a point before that, though,’ Brax pointed out.

‘You think?’ Rose asked quickly, almost begging.

‘I don’t know, but whenever they are, we need to get to them,’ Brax said. ‘Let’s narrow down the years and work from –’

_ ‘Of course, what Leah doesn’t know is that in this new series of Enigma, if the contestants don’t complete the puzzle in the time limit, they will automatically be burnt to death!’ _

Leah stopped.  _ ‘What?’ _

‘Oh my god!’ Rose cried, starting to panic now. Jack quickly ushered Brax away to try and find the ship, and dived to Rose.

‘Rose, don’t worry. Brax is on it.’

_ ‘She’s only got one minute left until she’s burnt alive!’  _ the robot host said.

Leah looked petrified.  _ ‘Daddy!’  _ she screamed.

The camera switched to the soundproof pod the Doctor was in.

_ ‘Let her out!’  _ he was yelling.  _ ‘Security protocol one! 10! 50! Emergency shutdown!’ _

_ ‘I’m sorry, that’s not one of your available lifelines,’  _ the robot said, smiling.

_ ‘What are my lifelines!?’ _

‘Switch or Reverse!’ Jack yelled at the screen as though the Doctor could hear him.

_ ‘Switch or Reverse.’ _

_ ‘Switch!’  _ the Doctor yelled.

‘No!’ Jack shouted, looking absolutely horrified.

‘What? What’s he doin’?’ Rose asked anxiously.

Jack said nothing as the robot spoke again when the clock in the corner hit three seconds, and froze.  _ ‘Oh! The Doctor has activated the team’s Switch lifeline with three seconds to go! Enigma, make the Switch!’ _

They both watched, horrified, as the Doctor was transmatted out of the pod, and Leah was transmatted out of the maze. It placed the Doctor inside the maze exactly where Leah had been as fire began to lick up through the grating. The clock resumed, and there was nothing anyone could do as it counted down, and hit zero. He was immediately lost in the white-hot flames.

Rose immediately looked away, her heart feeling like it had just been smashed to pieces. ‘Doctor!!!’ she cried, her voice powerful, raw, and utterly desperate. 

Jack said nothing, just holding her in both arms, utterly frozen from shock. Rose’s legs lost their strength. She sank to her knees, crying. On TV she could hear her daughter, crying out for her daddy.

Finally, Jack’s shock seem to ebb and he launched into action. ‘Rose, check the bond. Can you feel him!?’

Rose gasped for air through her fountain of tears, and tried desperately to concentrate and feel that protective tightness inside her heart that was his presence. 

‘There nothin’ there,’ she almost whispered, hardly able to get the words out. ‘Jack, I can’t feel him ...’

Jack swore. ‘Get to Brax, I’ll watch the show for Leah …’

‘No,’ Rose croaked over the sound of her daughter crying out for her daddy. She felt utterly numb. ‘I need to … I need to be there for Leah.’

She felt Jack suddenly become very angry. ‘We’ll find her,’ Jack said, his teeth gritted. ‘And I’ll fucking kill whoever’s responsible for this.’

She could do nothing but nod in reply. She moved away from him to the TV, and placed her hands on the screen where her daughter was walking to the next game.

* * *

Leah could barely think straight for the shock of what had just happened. She still couldn’t believe it, but there was definitely something now missing from inside her. She tried desperately to tell herself that wasn’t the bond to him breaking. It was just because she was scared, right?

She swallowed, her breath shaky and her cheeks stained with tears as she stepped into the next room.

Immediately the temperature plummeted. She could see her own breath. She was already shaking quite badly, and the freezing cold only served to accentuate that.

_ ‘It’s our old favourite - the Question Path game! In this game, our brave contestant must answer five general knowledge questions to cross the tiles, and if the contestant answers one question incorrectly, the game is over. But in this series there’s a new twist – instead of a simple stone floor, this floor is made of ice! One incorrect answer, and the contestant plummets into the icy waters, whereupon they will freeze to death if they can’t escape. [ConTEsTAnt ID ErrOr 182], you have one lifeline remaining, reverse, which will reverse time by ten seconds. Are you ready?’ _

Leah forced back more tears as she pulled her sleeves down to cover her freezing cold hands. ‘Yeah,’ was all she could say.

_ ‘Then let’s play!’ _

Some dramatic music sting as the lights went off, and a single spotlight was cast on her.  _ ‘Contestant, please choose your category. Geography, or History?’ _

‘... History.’

_ ‘American Politics. In 20th century Earth, which President of the United States was assassinated in Texas?’ _

Leah relaxed, but only a little. She knew this. ‘JFK,’ she said.

_ ‘Correct! Please take a step forward.’ _

She did, her haste nearly causing her to slip on the ice. She managed to balance.

_ ‘Four questions to go,’  _ the robot continued cheerily with more music stings.  _ ‘Difficulty level increased. Choose your category. Food and drink, or nature?’ _

Leah swallowed. She supposed she was better at nature. ‘Nature …?’

_ ‘Latin names. The “bufo bufo” is more commonly known by what name?’ _

Leah knew some Latin. Bufo meant toad. ‘Um … toad?’

_ ‘Correct! Please take a step forward.’ _

She did, this time with more care. She found herself starting to relax a little. Three questions to go.

_ ‘The difficulty level has been increased!’  _ the robot said happily.  _ ‘Question three. News or sport?’ _

Leah swallowed. She seriously doubted she knew anything about news or sport in the 31st century. They’d been a couple of times to that era, but not enough.

‘... News,’ she decided quietly.

_ ‘Festivals. The Festival of Celeste this year had to be cancelled, but for what reason?’ _

She didn’t have a clue. She began to panic. She knew they’d been to the Festival of Celeste once, but she couldn’t really remember it. She’d been quite young. She could remember lots of bright lights and faces, and sitting on her daddy’s lap, but that was about it. That didn’t give her much to go on. She closed her eyes, hard, trying desperately to think of anything to say.

_ ‘You have ten seconds to answer.’ _

* * *

Rose still had her hand on the screen, her entire body shaking. Leah didn’t know.

‘We went there the year after! Oh god, you were only two ... You don’t remember!’ she realised.

‘What’s the answer?’ Jack asked anxiously.

‘The volcano erupted and everyone had to be evacuated,’ she replied quickly. ‘Come on, Leah! Please!’

* * *

A vague memory was coming back to Leah. Something her mummy had asked, and something her daddy had replied. It had been about something the man on stage had said. Something about fundraising. Something about …

_ ‘Five seconds!’ _ the robot prompted as the underlying ominous background music increased in volume.

Something about … a volcano.

She didn’t know what it was about the volcano, but she knew it was something bad. And that could mean only one thing.

‘A volcano erupted,’ she said, still entirely unsure about it.

The pause was excruciating. _ ‘Correct! Please take a step forward.’ _

Leah let out a sigh of pure relief. She took a careful step forward. Just two questions left. Just two …

* * *

‘Yes, yes, that’s it, come on!’ Rose yelled at the screen. 

_ ‘Question four. The difficulty level has been increased. Choose a category. Science, or art?’ _

_ ‘Science,’  _ Leah stated firmly.

_ ‘Quantum mechanics. In the Heisenberg uncertainty principle, which two measurable properties of a particle cannot be observed precisely at the same time?’ _

Rose held her breath. Had she and the Doctor already covered quantum mechanics?

_ ‘Position and momentum,’  _ Leah said with a lot more confidence than before.

‘She knows it,’ Rose realised, barely able to catch her breath through the sheer panic.

_ ‘Correct! Please take a step forward.’ _

She did. Just one question left, Rose thought, starting to feel relieved. Leah could do this. 

_ ‘Question five. The difficulty level has been increased. Your category is the human body.’ _

Rose sagged with utter relief. ‘She’ll know!’ she told Jack happily. 

He beamed, as at the same time the TARDIS began to churn. 

_ ‘The organ of Corti is where in the human body, and what function does it perform?’ _

Rose watched, waiting for Leah to come out with the correct answer. But she wasn’t. She was just standing there, her face paling.

‘She doesn’t know,’ Rose realised, horrified. ‘She doesn’t know!’

Leah didn’t say anything. She was frozen into place, wide-eyed and terrified.

_ ‘Five seconds left to answer.’  _ The music once again increased in volume.

‘C’mon Leah!’ Rose urged. 

Leah said nothing.

_ ‘Three … two …’ _

_ ‘Lungs, breathing!’  _ Leah suddenly yelled.

Rose let out a sigh of relief.

_ ‘Incorrect,’ _ the robot said.

Rose’s relief was quickly replaced by a feeling of utter horror. She’d … got it wrong?

_ ‘The correct answer was the inner ear, and a receptor organ for hearing.’ _

Leah screamed and immediately tried to run to safety, but the ice beneath her instantaneously broke, and Rose watched, utterly mortified, as her five-year-old daughter plunged into the water below.

‘NO!’ she screamed, and didn’t wait to watch. She ran out of the room to the console room where Brax was hurriedly pressing buttons.

‘Get me there  _ right now!’  _ she screamed.

* * *

Leah fell into the cold, cold water, flailing. Her hearts rate immediately sped up, and she had to stop her physical response of immediately gasping for air. 

Her body began to hurt, and badly. Her natural gallifreyan body temperature was lower than a human’s, but the shock of the near frozen water was still absolutely excruciating.

She had to concentrate. She reigned in her panic, trying to calm down. She had to get back out. She looked up, and saw the dark patch that indicated the hole. She forced herself and her already failing muscles to swim towards it, but to her utter horror, she realised the ice hole was sealing itself back up. By the time she got there, it had closed completely.

She was immediately panicking again as she hit the ice, but it was far too thick. She had no idea how long it had been, but now her muscles were now beginning to fail from neuromuscular cooling. She tried the ice again with the last of her strength, but nothing happened.

Suddenly, she was sinking. She still had breath, but it was rapidly running out.

She was going to die, she realised, as she sank down into the icy, cold depths.

* * *

The TARDIS landed with quite a thunk, and half a second later Rose ran out into the spaceship armed with an axe from the Doctor’s toolkit, ready to destroy anything to protect her daughter. They’d landed at the entrance to the Enigma, where a sign was silently flashing to indicate a game was in progress.

She screamed and tried to open the heavy doors, but they weren’t shifting. The little connection she had with Leah was starting to die, and with it the last of her hope, her sanity, and her belief that her little girl could possibly be saved. She tried hitting it a few times with the axe, but it quickly became clear that it wasn’t going to budge.

She screamed again, raw and pleading, as she desperately searched for another way in. She spotted an access door, currently ajar, and ran straight through it. Considering her pregnancy she moved fast, down some industrial corridor filled with wires and pipes. She eventually came to a halt, gasping for air, dizzy, and with severe pain coursing through her pelvis. Jack arrived behind her, grabbing her shoulder.

‘We’re too early, we’re in the wrong century!’ Jack said firmly. ‘Get back to the Tardis!’

‘It’ll be  _ too late!’  _ she yelled, tears pouring down her face, and spotted a door to the Enigma mainframe. A mad, beautiful plan hit her like an icepick, and she started running again. She opened the door without a problem, and suddenly she was inside the Enigma’s mainframe.

Without hesitation she raised her axe, and slammed it straight into the nearest piece of complex-looking technology. It sprayed a small fountain of sparks and made a noise like electronic screaming. She simply raised the axe again, and slammed it a second time into the computer.

‘What are you doing!?’ Jack yelled, alarmed as he skidded to a halt into the room.

‘If I destroy it now it can’t hurt the Doctor or Leah in the future!’ she cried in-between swinging the axe at every piece of machinery in sight. ‘I can stop the future from happenin’!’

‘No! Rose! Stop!’

She ignored him, continuing to take the place apart.

‘Rose!’ Jack roared with such ferocity she had to stop. ‘Look!’

He was pointing at a monitor on the wall that she was yet to destroy. On it, she saw a man and a woman in the final Enigma game, clearly just having lost as they were looking disappointed and laughing about it.

‘What the hell do I care!?’ she yelled, making to resume her destruction.

‘It’s  _ them!’  _ Jack stated, pointing urgently once more. ‘The ones I told you about, the ones that the game killed …’

Rose looked, and watched, horrified, as on the screen the couple began to swell to quite horrific proportions. The oxygen had been sucked right out of the room and now they were going to die. 

It was then she realised what she’d done. By trying to save the Doctor and Leah in the future, she’d actually caused the Enigma to malfunction, which had caused it to go rogue in the first place.

She’d caused the deaths of her husband and her daughter.

‘We gotta go!’ Jack said, grabbing her under the arm to pull her back to the TARDIS as the alarms suddenly began. ‘The AI’s going rogue, it’ll kill us!’ 

Rose ignored him, looking at the half-destroyed machine in front of her. She weighed the axe in her hands, and promptly took another swing.

‘Rose!!!’ Jack roared as the axe slammed into a circuit board to another fountains of sparks.

‘If I destroy it completely it’ll never work again, then it can’t hurt them in the future!!!’ she screamed, taking a few more swings, until finally the entire thing was on fire. 

_ ‘Unauthorised variant detected in the mainframe,’  _ the disembodied voice of the robot host said calmly.  _ ‘Variant will be erased.’ _

Suddenly the doors slammed together and the sprinklers overhead burst into life, dulling the fire almost immediately. Stunned, Rose stumbled back, Jack grabbing her.

‘Give me that!’ he ordered, wrenching the axe from her. He immediately began to slam it into the door repeatedly, trying desperately to get out.

She could do nothing but stand there, horrified, as she worked out what was going to happen next. The floor was already ankle-deep in water, and the mainframe was beginning to course with electricity. Electric, with water.

‘Oh God,’ was all she managed, sinking to her knees as she lost all feeling in them, numbed both physically and mentally from any sort of intelligent thought trail. 

As Jack continued to try and get through the door, Rose just knelt there. There was only one word she had left to say. One which always seemed to sort any impossible situation. One that she loved, worshipped, and believed in, every single time.

‘Doctor,’ she said and thought with every atom of her being, just as the machine surged.


	25. The Enigma: Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leah fights back.

As Leah drifted to the bottom of the icy depths, she realised slowly and painfully that she had nothing, and no one, to help.

She'd been in life-threatening situations before, but never quite like this. She'd always had a backup plan, or someone on the way. Her dad, her mum, her uncles or aunts, and even her grandmother, if not next to her, then at least about two paces behind her.

Not this time.

If she was going to live, she had to think of something,  _ fast.  _ With every passing second the cold shock was going, giving her a little more energy as her body temperature dropped to acclimatise. That forced her gallifreyan biology to kick in and channel heat to her muscles, allowing her to move. She swam up to vaguely where the hole had been, and tried again. There was no chance she’d get through.

She was now nearly out of breath. She had only one option left. She opened her mouth, and screamed, ‘reverse lifeline!’ into the sound-deadening water. 

Her still-developing time sense was hugely erratic, but she was already sure it had been more than ten seconds since she had fallen in, which would make the reverse lifeline utterly useless. But to her complete surprise and unsubstantiated relief, half a second later she found herself by the ice, then going down in the water, then up, then by the ice again, then down, then up and through the surface until she was standing on the ice, absolutely soaked.

She felt the ice begin to crack beneath her feet, so she immediately jumped forward to safety. A nanosecond later the ice broke, leaving a hole exactly where she’d been standing.

For a moment there was nothing but the sound of the icy waters and her own rapid breathing. The reversal of time had worked. She’d only been in there for ten seconds. It had felt like ten hours.

_ ‘Whoa! We’ve got a smart little cookie here!’  _ the sadistic robot host finally said from overhead.  _ ‘We thought she was a goner! But by using her last lifeline, our contestant has successfully completed game two, and can take on the final game of the Enigma! Please make your way to the final game!’ _

A newfound despair instantaneously washed over the little girl at the thought of another mind game. ‘Daddy,’ she wailed. ‘Please.’

_ ‘[RespOnSE PhRAsE NOt iN MeMORy BaNK PlEasE tRY AgaiN eRROr 300]. [ConTEsTAnt ID ErrOr 182], please enter the next game!’  _ the robot host said once again.

‘Daddy!’

_ ‘[RespOnSE PhRAsE NOt iN MeMORy BaNK PlEasE tRY AgaiN eRROr 300]. [ConTEsTAnt ID ErrOr 182], please enter the next game! You have ten seconds until you’re timed out!’ _

Wiping at her eyes, she realised that still, no one was coming. She had to see this through, on her own.

With every atom inside her feeling like it weighed a stone, she stepped forward to the final game, shaking from the cold.

* * *

Rose closed her eyes, waiting for the inevitable. Nothing seemed to happen. For a brief moment she wondered if that was just how dying felt, contrary to everything she’d seen and heard. Maybe there were no bright lights or bangs, no suffering, no final bang - just a whimper. Maybe this was it. Dying was just, well … nothing.

That was disappointing.

‘Rose, Jack!’ Brax cried from the corridor. ‘I can't hold off the AI much longer! Get back into the Tardis right now!’

Rose’s eyes shot open. She was still in that room, and Jack was reaching to grab her. 

‘Get out!’ he yelled. ‘There’s nothing we can do!’

Surprised to still find herself alive, she stumbled up and let Jack drag her to Brax. 

_ ‘T-t-t-t-that’s all folks!’  _ the robot host said in a very unsettling tone of voice.  _ ‘Tune in again next week … DaY… [ErrOR 99] ... YEaR … [eRRoR 99] ... MiLLENiuM … [eRRor 99] … ETErNiTy.’ _

They ran with Brax back to the TARDIS as the gameshow ship tried everything it possibly could to stop them – by slamming doors and using its sprinkler systems – with the loud and evil robot voice screaming at them:

_ ‘This IS thE eNd of ThIS SERies. REMemBer YOu caN KeeP P-P-p-p-PLAYinG The ENIgma GamE THroUGH OUr INTeracTIve HolOGrapHIC CHannEL, on chANNel [ChAnnEL NumbER eRRor 678] . MEanWhilE, WHy NoT appLy To BE on The EnigMA Show NEx-ex-eX-ExT SEriEs? TheRE’LL be BRanD NeW Games … [eRRoR 99] … ChallenGES … [ERror 99] … faTALitIes.’ _

Again, the pains returned and Rose gasped, grabbing her belly. Jack immediately scooped her up, saving himself from a stumble under the sheer weight of her, and continued to run …

_ ‘MeMORy WRIting, reADInG …. [ERRor 723] … [erroR 20] … foRTy-EIGht seCTORs tEStEd … DC! DYinG … [ErroRErroreRRoR] FRyiNG, elECTriCiTy …’ _

‘Shut up!’ Rose yelled at the insane robot as they passed a monitor, where the robot host was being broadcast, sparks hissing out of its head, its eyes red and terrifying.

_ ‘COme AnD AppLY FoR thE ENigMa … EniG … eniG … Be ON tHe ShOw … ENiGMa … [ERRor 723] ... rePEAt, D-D-dELeTinG …’ _

Suddenly all of the lights in the corridor simultaneously died, and Jack nearly crashed into Brax as they stumbled to a halt, in almost total blackness.

‘Get some light!’ Jack yelled.

‘Hold on!’ Brax said.

A single screen came on in front of them. The robot host was now mere inches from the camera, the mad, red eyes seemingly burning through the monitor into their very souls. Its normal voice returned, perfectly level, and perfectly comprehensible:

_ ‘I am the Enigma host robot, I provide the forty-eight sectors of humanity with broadcast entertainment services. How can I help you, today?’ _

‘Oh, shit,’ Jack whispered. ‘It’s rebooted … Move!’

* * *

Leah stepped into the final game. The ambient music was even more ominous than the previous room. It was dark, and for a moment nothing happened, until suddenly a spotlight switched on, illuminating a single podium in the centre of the room. She blinked a little, stunned, as she realised what was sitting on the podium.

It was a Rubik's cube, just like her Uncle had gifted her.

The now familiar robot host appeared on the screen. His jovial nature had vanished, replaced by complete seriousness.

_ 'In the year 2010, after thirty years of testing, it was proven by Rokicki, Kociemba, Davidson, and Dethridge, that any configuration of the Rubik's cube can be solved in twenty moves or less. Twenty is God's Number, and this game is called God’s Number as our contestant must do exactly that. The Rubik's cube must be solved on the 20th move - not before, and not after.’ _

Leah's eyes widened. Yes, she'd played with the Rubik's cube a bit, but nowhere near enough for her to feel like this was anything short of impossible.

_ ‘Our contestant is not allowed to go back on a move. The contestant has one minute to solve it. As the contestant has used both lifelines, the difficulty level has not changed. Contestant, the third game begins when you pick up the Rubik’s cube.’ _

Leah took a deep breath. She checked for potential exits, but of course, there were none. There was still no sign of her dad, either. She mentally calculated – she had three seconds per move.

She moved forward. The music’s tension increased. Trying to suppress her shaking from the coldness of still being wet through, she reached out, and took the cube.

Immediately a ticking clock began. Panicked by it, Leah quickly turned a first move, and immediately regretted it. She quickly recalculated, and took a much more positive move.

_ ‘Fifty-five seconds remaining.’ _

Two more moves.

_ ‘Fifty seconds.’ _

She felt a little more positive as she made her fifth, sixth, seventh, and eighth moves, ahead of time.

_ ‘Forty-five seconds.’ _

It was around then she realised that the ticking noise wasn’t a tension-making sound effect. The ticking was coming from inside the cube.

If she didn't solve this, she was going to be blown up.

* * *

The TARDIS landed, and again Rose was immediately out, followed by Brax and Jack.

‘Is she here? She’s here, yeah!?’ she asked breathlessly, looking around the area they’d landed. There was a London Underground train half in the ship, clearly having smashed through the side, and the charred body of some flying creature close by. Also, to her astonishment, was a cluster of humans in official outfits, running around, clearly some sort of emergency response team. One of them noticed the group and ran over immediately.all

‘This is an exceptionally dangerous area, you can’t …’

‘My daughter’s in there!!!’ Rose screamed in his face.

The man staggered a little from the fury of a Tyler mother, stunned a little. Rose quickly decided she didn’t have time for him so she shoved past, and ran to the access door. Again the pains returned in her midriff, allowing Jack, Brax, and the official to catch up. With Jack’s aid, they reached the area of the final game, and saw Leah on the monitor holding a Rubik’s cube, with a timer in the corner. She had twenty seconds left.

‘Get her out!’ Rose screamed at the official people around her, holding her belly. There were some people at terminals hammering keyboards, some were trying to break through the door with laser cutters.

‘We’re trying, but the Enigma AI has deadlocked the game,’ the official said, gasping a little from trying to keep up with her.

‘I don’t care! Get her out,  _ now!’  _ Rose roared.

* * *

_ ‘Ten seconds.’ _

Leah had three moves to go. She forced herself to calm down. She couldn’t make any mistakes, now.

She made a move, her shaking nearly causing her to do it wrongly.

_ ‘Seven seconds.’ _

She paused, checking and double-checking her next move. 

_ ‘Five seconds.’ _

She made the move. One to go.

_ ‘Three … two … one …’ _

She made her final move, and solved the cube. Immediately the music became triumphant as the lights came up, and a sense of utter relief washed through the five-year-old.

She’d done it.

‘ _ Congratulations, you’ve solved the Enigma! Let’s give her a round of applause, folks!’ _

Canned clapping played for roughly three seconds.

_ ‘You win the ultimate prize! A holiday for you and your family in …. [HoliDAy LOCAtioN ERrOr 153] … the abyss.’ _

The lights shut off, the music died, and the airlocks opened.

* * *

Rose’s relief that her daughter had won the game was short-lived, as suddenly the airlocks opened, and immediately people were screaming.

Jack grabbed her and guided her to hold a sturdy-looking metal stanchion as Brax clung desperately onto the terminal he was at. The officials and engineers were crying out, flying past them and out through the open airlocks and into space. Rose tried to grab someone, but it was impossible as they passed so fast and with such force. 

‘Hold on!’ Brax yelled, trying to manoeuvre himself to get a better position over the terminal.

'Jack!’ Rose screamed as she felt the pain in her belly again, and her grip loosened on the stanchion. He supported her immediately, wrapping his arms around her to hold her fast. What felt like a small eternity later, Brax finally got it under control, and the airlocks slammed closed. 

_ ‘[eRror 73/834/2/55/98/135 …] [CATasTroPhiC faILurE] PoWErInG d-d-d-d-DoWn …’  _ the robot voice said, and seconds later, everything went dark and silent. For moment, everyone just breathed as the cries of the injured echoed through the corridors and the emergency lighting came up.

‘The power is dead, it won’t turn back on,’ Brax said, adjusting his only slightly-askew glasses. ‘Everyone okay?’

‘Rose?’ Jack asked, letting go of her.

‘Get Leah, please ...’ she gasped out, pointing. Jack nodded at Brax, who pulled the dead door open to the final game and went inside. Jack stepped closer, resting a hand on her shoulder.

‘Shit,’ he muttered, looking at her and her thirty-two week pregnancy. ‘We’ve got to get you to the medbay.’

He made to pull her away, but she rapidly shook her head.

‘Doctor,’ she groaned, bracing herself on the metal stanchion.

‘Rose, what’s the pain like?’ Jack asked.

‘S-s-stabbing …’

'Rose, the baby. We gotta get you checked, right now.’

Brax re-emerged, holding Leah in both arms. She was wet through, and unconscious.

'Leah,’ Rose gasped.

'She’s hit her head and we've got to get her warmed up, I’ll run her to the medbay,’ Brax said quickly, and immediately started running with the girl back down the corridor.

'You too,’ Jack said to Rose, slipping an arm under her to help her back as she cried out in pain.

* * *

Jack hadn't wanted to leave Rose and Leah until he was sure they were okay, but Rose was very upset over the Doctor's disappearance, and practically begged Jack to find him. Brax had assured Jack that he could do the medical assessments on his own. So Jack left Brax strict instructions to call him with any news, and left.

When he stepped out of the TARDIS into the Enigma, there were paramedics everywhere to treat those wounded in the attempted purge. Things were a lot calmer, although some people were crying for the loss of those colleagues and friends who had been ejected into space.

For a while, he just found himself staring at them, wondering when it would be his turn to cry. Right now, he was in suspended disbelief about the Doctor's apparent death. He didn't want to believe it, so he couldn't take it in properly. He had to see the evidence before he made that judgement. The Doctor had a tendency to bounce back from being dead, after all. Last time he’d been gone for five months.

His first task was to find the first game, and see for himself if there was any evidence. He started off, but was stopped by a man who was holding an ice pack to his jaw. 

'You were with the little girl, right? Is she okay?’ he asked keenly.

Jack nodded. 'She's being treated.’

'Thank god,’ the man said, nodding. 'Fuck. This is a disaster.’

Jack nodded again, and checked the man’s ID. 'You’re what, an engineer?’

The man nodded. ‘Part of the tech crisis response team.’

‘Can you take me to the first game?’

The engineer winced a little. ‘I’m so sorry. I didn’t think. You must’ve known him.’

Jack just nodded. ‘I want to go there.’

The engineer pulled a face. ‘Are you sure?’

‘Yeah.’

* * *

The engineer took him to an access lift, and they headed to the first game area.

‘People have been saying for years that something like this would happen,’ the engineer was saying, ‘that someone would find the ship and reactivate the system. Game Corp didn’t listen. But when the Enigma channel started broadcasting again and it killed …’ He stopped himself, glancing at Jack. ‘Well anyway, our planet shook. We got here as fast as we could.’

‘When did you all get here?’

‘At the start of the third game,’ the man said. ‘We thought the little girl was dead, we really did.’

The lift stopped. Jack followed the engineer to the room. It still had the metal maze inside it. He immediately found the entrance, and climbed in.

‘Wait, I’d better check the safeties …’ the engineer said quickly.

‘Don’t worry,’ Jack replied, and started crawling through. It was still a little warm. He followed Leah’s path to the end, where the Doctor had apparently died. There was nothing there.

He crawled back and jumped out next to the engineer. 

‘Anything?’ the engineer asked nervously.

‘No,’ Jack replied. ‘Is there some kind of activity log for games?’

Yes,’ the engineer affirmed, and led him to a terminal, hammering a few buttons until an activity log came up. ‘This records every action made by the Enigma computer.’

Jack scanned through it.

**67:89: VERBAL: COUNTDOWN 5**

**67:90: VERBAL: ISSUE CONTESTANT LIFELINE INFORMATION (BROADCAST, VOICE MODE = INFORMATIVE)**

**67:91: PROCESS: LIFELINE ID2 VERIFICATION**

**67:91: PROCESS: LIFELINE ID2 CONFIRMATION**

**67:92: VERBAL: LIFELINE EXECUTION INFORMATION (BROADCAST, VOICE MODE = TENSE)**

**67:93: PROCESS: LIFELINE ID2 EXECUTE (SPRITE #1 > POSITION #3, SPRITE #2 > POSITION #1)**

**[NOTABLE ERROR] LIFELINE ID2 COMPLETION ERROR**

**67:94: PROCESS: ACTIVATE [ErrOr 673] … ZxYZ11!#3!4 … BurN Out**

**[CORRUPTED SUB-PROCESS] FILL MODE: ALL MAZE. TEMPERATURE: 500 DEGREES CELSIUS. DURATION: 5 SECONDS.**

**67:99: VERBAL: GAME COMPLETION CONGRATULATIONS (BROADCAST, VOICE MODE = CHEERY)**

‘Only five hundred degrees?’ Jack queried, pointing at the information in the log. ‘That fire was only 500 degrees celsius?’

‘Only?’ the engineer echoed, confused.

‘The melting point of bone is about one and a half thousand degrees celsius,’ Jack said, his mind racing. ‘The Doctor’s an alien with a thicker bone density; his is even higher. But there’s no bones. No bone ash. Nothing. There would be bones there.’

The engineer frowned. ‘Wait … are you saying he wasn’t in there when the fire started?’

‘His remains aren’t,’ Jack clarified, and continued checking through the rest of the log. ‘And there’s no record in the log that they were teleported out or disposed of or anything.’

‘Oh,’ the engineer murmured, wide-eyed. ‘So … what happened?’

Jack re-read the log in silence, and his heart suddenly jumped.

**[NOTABLE ERROR] LIFELINE ID2 COMPLETION ERROR**

‘The transmat didn’t fully complete,’ Jack realised, nearly stumbling over his words in his eagerness to get them out. ‘He didn’t actually get inside the maze, something stopped it …’

'What? And where is he?’

Jack thought some more. 'The gameshow was automatically broadcasting, right? That's how you all saw it was happening?’

'Yeah?’

‘What's the range of the broadcast? I mean, how many planets see it?’

'The signal goes across two galaxies,’ the man replied. 'Plus all of space in-between, of course.’

Suddenly, Jack's phone rang, making the both of them jump in surprise. Jack quickly whipped it out. ‘Brax?’

_ ‘Leah’s fine, she got hit by some flying debris but it’s nothing serious. I have to confess, I’ve got no idea what’s happening with Rose. Her pain’s coming and going, but there’s nothing coming up on the scanner. The baby is fine, and she’s fine, it’s like some sort of phantom pain. Anything on Thete?’ _

‘I’m coming back, tell you in a minute.’ He hung up. 'Thanks,’ he directed at the engineer, and ran before the man could reply.

* * *

Jack wasted no time in going straight to the TARDIS console room. He quickly checked the local vicinity of the Enigma, across the engineer's stated broadcast range, looking for any anomalies. 

He checked the readout, and realised immediately what must have happened. 

He ran to the medbay. He burst in to see Rose and Leah sitting hugging on a bed, with Brax sitting in a chair next to them.

'Jack!?’ Rose asked, wide-eyed as she realised his anxiety. ‘What’s going on!?’

‘Rose, when you had your argument this morning with him, what actually happened?’ Jack asked quickly.

‘What’s this got to do with anythin’!?’

‘It’s important,’ he stressed.

She looked confused.‘ Um, he was replying to things that I wasn’t sayin’ …’

‘But were you thinking them?’

‘I don’t know!’

‘Rose, please,’ he said. ‘Just try and remember.’

‘Um, I guess,’ she said, wiping at her eyes. ‘But I didn’t say any of them.’

‘D’you think he could’ve been hearing your thoughts?’

Rose stared at him. ‘Um, what?’

Brax straightened up. ‘Of course, the telepathic damage!’

‘What the hell has this got to do with anythin’?’ Rose asked, slightly annoyed now as she hugged Leah tighter.

‘Is Daddy alive?’ the little girl begged.

‘Something’s happened with his head and we didn’t notice it. He’s sharpened up to you, Rose, so he was actually hearing your thoughts and obviously thought you were saying them out loud,’ Jack explained. ‘So this pain … what if it’s not  _ yours?’ _

‘You mean it’s his?’ she asked, stunned. 

‘What else could it be?’ Jack pointed out. ‘His remains weren’t there, and the transmat for the Switch lifeline didn’t complete. All I can think is that someone hijacked it. Someone’s kidnapped him. I did a search of the Enigma’s broadcast radius and there’s a ship on the edge, straight off of the black market. I think he’s there.’

‘But that means … oh my God,’ she muttered as she realised.

Jack nodded. ‘He’s alive, he’s been kidnapped, and someone’s hurting him.’


	26. Survival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor does everything he can to survive his new situation.

_ I know you can hear me, so listen. Wherever you are and whatever’s happening to you, just stay there and hold tight. We’re coming. We love you. _

The Doctor woke up, with a scream of pure agony.

He gasped, his eyes wide and his hands clasped to his stomach, unable to breathe or move for what felt like hours and hours of pure, undivided torment. The pain felt like he'd been stabbed eighty times around his belly, and the blood he could see out of the corner of his eye told him that maybe he wasn't a million miles away.

He tried to move, but he couldn't for fear of making it even worse. He forced his endorphins to start their work, anything to stop it, anything to …

It stopped.

The Doctor blinked, surprised. That couldn't have been his endorphins. They only took the edge off, but right now he couldn't feel any pain at all.

He tentatively sat up, for the first time registering his surroundings. 

'Forest,’ he said aloud to no one. He thought better when he talked to himself. ‘By the species of tree, it's probably humans, they love taking their flora with them when they colonise.’ He looked up at the cloudy sky through the tree branches. ‘It’s about four o’clock in the afternoon. Maybe November.’

He paused. He didn't have much else to go on at the moment. He’d been in the Enigma with Leah, and then … Things were somewhat of a blank.

He finally plucked up the courage to look down at himself. The middle of his shirt and jacket were covered in blood, as were his hands. There was also a red pool under him, staining the autumn leaves. 

He took a steely breath, and pulled back his jacket and shirt. Revealed was a lot of blood, but through it - just about - he could see a wide tear of his skin like a ring around him, with the surrounding areas severely bruised in a fashion that indicated internal bleeding. 

He recognised the pattern of injury, but to be sure he checked his joints. As he'd theorised, he had dislocations to his right knee and left shoulder. Nothing seemed fractured.

'At some point I was in a malfunctioning transmat, or I was interrupted during transit,’ he said to himself. 'Probably the latter, else I'd still be on the Enigma. I was pulled in two directions during transit like a Christmas cracker. Nearly ripped me in half. I should be dead.’ He then looked around, confused. ‘But there's no transmat here. So … someone interrupted my transit and dumped me here.’

Leaving him bleeding with a huge tear in his stomach? They probably expected him to die, he thought. The laceration to his midriff was so deep that it looked as though it had ripped through to his hypodermis in places. He needed medical attention. It had stopped bleeding profusely now, but every breath he was taking was exerting pressure on it, causing a little more blood to dribble out. Due to the amount, he could deduce that he’d cut one of his iliac arteries, at least. The artery or arteries seemed to have healed itself whilst he was unconscious.

He looked around for something that could help. He was lying around twenty metres from a fairly dilapidated wooden hut with some logs and wooden planks stacked next to it. He was presuming no one lived there, because firstly, it looked on the verge of collapse, and secondly, he was sure the volume of which he’d been screaming would have drawn anyone within a two mile radius to him.

However, the hut may have supplies, he reasoned, and maybe, if he was lucky, some medical supplies. He quickly did up his clothes and stood up, struggling momentarily with his balance. He leant on the closest tree to steady himself. Suddenly the pain came back like a shot.

He screamed and was immediately on his knees. Yet more pain burst through his dislocated knee joint and he ended up falling sideways to land right back where he'd started.

With his arms wrapped around his stomach, curled in on himself, he started kicking the ground, screaming. He forced more endorphins in, and, eventually, the pain reduced slightly.

He breathed deeply for a few moments, his eyes closed. After a few minutes, he forced himself to his knees. More deep breaths. Then he was up, and hunched over. The pain was still unbearable.

He started to move. He tried to focus solely on his objective - get to the hut. He reached it, lifting his bloodied hand to the handle. The door creaked open easily, and he stepped inside.

At first glance it was one bed, a cooking pot over a burnt-out fire, some rotted drawers, and a chest, along with one very mucky mirror. There was also a table which had a plate with food on it, rotten and rancid and covered in maggots.

Whoever had lived here had left in a hurry.

He moved to the drawers. He checked each one. There were a myriad of objects, and to his shock and relief, he found medical supplies.

From it, he ruffled through until he found some saline in a bottle, pads, a needle and thread, and bandages. He retrieved the mirror, and dropped it all on the bed, just as the pain suddenly stopped again. Whatever was causing it was of little concern to him now - he had to put things back into sockets before the pain came back.

‘Here we go,’ he said to himself, tentatively putting some weight on his leg to test it. No pain. This was his chance. He jogged over to a sturdy-looking metal pole, and gripped it with his left hand. He then pressed down on the crease of his elbow with his right hand, and abruptly put his full body weight behind his arm. He could feel the bones inside him moving back into position, but absolutely no pain was occuring. He then twisted his arm, and finally everything moved back into place.

_ ‘Doctor!’  _ Rose’s voice suddenly flashed through his head, full of pain and desperation. Alarmed, he stopped dead, looking around.

_ ‘Rose?’  _ he tried telepathically. 

No reply.

He’d figure it out later. He still had to put his knee joint back in place before the pain came back. He quickly retrieved the rope and lifted his leg to the pole, tying his foot to it. He then hopped backwards just until his leg was taut. He placed his hand on knee, pushing down, and again put his entire weight against his leg.

Rose’s scream increased in pitch inside his head. Just as the bone shifted back into place, he nearly fell over.

_ ‘Rose!’  _ he tried again. She was crying in his head.  _ ‘Rose, can you hear me!?’ _

Nothing.

_ ‘It hurts so much!!!’  _ she sobbed.  _ ‘Doctor!’ _

A kind of dark realisation came over him. The pain wasn’t just suddenly disappearing. It was moving, somehow, to Rose. Like some sort of co-consciousness, or some co-physical connection.

He’d just realigned his elbow and knee joints without anaesthetic, and Rose had felt every bit of it. Quite why this was occurring was an unknown factor, but he lacked the capacity to care too much about that right now.

_ ‘I’m sorry!’  _ he said telepathically, but he was pretty sure she couldn’t hear him. Whilst he had no pain, he hopped to the bed and laid down, trying not to move any areas of his body that Rose was feeling. After a few seconds, the pain returned.

He groaned, and looked at the saline and bandages. He was going to have to do this the hard way to make sure whatever pain Rose felt wasn’t the worst of it.

He sat up, all the time combating the pain in just about atom of his body. He positioned the mirror, took hold of the saline, and started.

He had to stop a few times when the pain disappeared back to Rose. After around thirty minutes, he’d cleaned the wound, stitched every part he could reach, and covered it all up. He then partly splinted his knee and elbow. He needed the movement too much to completely immobilize them.

Next on the agenda, he’d have to clear his temporary residence of everything unpleasant, and take an inventory of what resources he had. So he intermittently did that during the pain spurts, making sure Rose would be okay. Even so, every now and then he heard her moaning, groaning, and otherwise sobbing quietly. 

He hated that.

He threw out all of the rotten food, which was everything but two potatoes and some rice grain. After that he took stock. Rope, a lighter and lighter fluid, some blankets, an axe, a pickaxe, a bow and arrow, some string, a bag, some empty bottles, nails and a hammer, a knife, cutlery, a plate, some cups, and general pots and pans. After he removed a sheet from on top of a table, he discovered a very old, but very promising-looking communication system.

It was dead, but he ran the sonic over it, and it burst into life in a myriad of beeps and lights. He turned the frequency knob and picked up the communicator.

‘Mayday, mayday, mayday. This is …’ - he checked the call sign on the desk - ‘Alpha Hotel One. Stranded in forest, in need of medical assistance. Come in. Mayday.’

Static.

‘Mayday, mayday, mayday. This is Alpha Hotel One. Come in. Mayday.’

Nothing. He assisted the frequency, trying again, and again. Still nothing. He changed frequency to try one last time, and then suddenly there was a voice:

_ ‘1,209,459 … 1,209,458 … 1,209,457 …’ _

The Doctor opened his mouth to say something, but quickly realised it wasn't a person. It was just an automatic voice. 

_ ‘1,209,456 …’ _

‘Counting down in seconds,’ the Doctor mused out loud. ‘I hate countdowns.’

He'd seldom heard a countdown that had ended in anything good. 

He thought a little more. ‘1,209,456 seconds is around fourteen days,’ he said. ‘So … what exactly happens at the end of fourteen days? Don’t think I want to find that one out.’

He told himself there and then that he had two weeks to get off of this planet. Surely the others were bound to find him before then.

Anyway, he couldn’t really do anything about it. For now, he had to make sure the hut wouldn’t fall down, and create a safe space so he could go into a healing coma. Biting his lip and steeling himself against the inevitable pain, he took the axe, nails and hammer and limped outside. There was the pile of wood - both planks and logs. He winced as he took a plank, and got to work.

He spent the remaining hours of daylight reinforcing the hut. He’d also detected a water source with the sonic and travelled the mile there and back to get some from a stream. By the time it got dark, he was in a considerable amount of pain, but he had three bottles of water to cook with and drink. He boiled one of his potatoes and half the rice for a small meal, before dropping to lie on the bed, staring at the ceiling. The strain he’d put his body under really began to show as the pain increased and the aching kicked in. 

He couldn’t go into a healing coma, but he could sleep lightly.

* * *

The countdown on the communications system was still going when he checked it the next morning. Thirteen days to go.

He tried more mayday calls in the hope he’d get a reply, but there was nothing but the countdown. He’d even tried using his sonic to try and get through to the TARDIS, but there was nothing from that either. The TARDIS was too far away to activate any kind of emergency protocol that would help him.

Every now and then, he was getting snippets of Rose’s voice in his head. Little things. Sometimes it was her directly trying to talk to him, telling him that they were looking. Other times it was some of her fleeting thoughts. His pain was still coming and going, and he made sure whenever it went to Rose he stopped moving, which made everything he was trying to do around ten times slower than it should have been. She’d figured out he was doing that, as she told him not to worry about her in his head. He ignored her.

The bad news was, because Rose was telling him where they were going and what they were doing, he knew that they weren’t looking in the right places. She kept talking about places that would be likely to have transmats that were capable of interrupting his original transit, and currently they were trying a black market ship. That was logical and sounded very much like Brax’s idea, but hardly helpful to him. He knew that they were searching the wrong places, but he couldn’t tell them that.

Quite how he’d ended up here was a question still yet to be resolved, but his theory that he'd been dumped by someone seemed the most likely option. Yet, even if that were true, who were they, and why dump him?

He sighed. He hated not being able to work things out, but he didn’t have many clues to go on.

His body was still screaming from the physical activity he’d done yesterday, and he decided he had to spend today making his hut a safe space for a healing coma. After he treated his wounds, he spent the daylight hours making traps around the perimeter to deter the wildlife he could hear. In the evening he used the other potato and the last of the rice for a meal, and practically inhaled it as he was so hungry. The human eating ritual he’d adapted to from living with humans all the time was starting to bite. Hunger was beginning to gnaw at him from inside from doing so much work, and having so little food.

Finally satisfied with safety, he settled, and finally let himself drop into a healing coma. With the reinforcements and traps, he was fairly confident that if he was about to get eaten by a wild animal, at least he’d wake up to see what it was before he was digested.

* * *

Eleven days left on the countdown.

He’d slept through a day and woke up at noon, feeling very, very hungry. He knew he had nothing left to eat, and was going to have to go and scavenge, including hunting, if he could remember how. He took his now empty water bottles with the axe in the bag, as well as the bow and arrows.

As he made his way to the water source, he stopped talking to himself and kept his eyes peeled for any possible vegetation that he could eat. He reached the water, took a few grateful swigs, and kept going forward. It had been quite a while since he’d had to hunt, but it came back quite easily to him. He found a spot that had evidence of animal activity, and took up a position in cover, ready with the bow and arrow. Fairly soon what looked like a kind of rabbit bounded up. He fired just one arrow, and killed it immediately with precision aim.

He retrieved it, and went back to the hut. Dearly hoping the meat was actually edible, he made a meal with some leaves and assorted edible greenery. It didn’t really satisfy his hunger, but it was now too dark to do anymore hunting. Another mayday attempt proved fruitless.

He went to sleep.

* * *

Ten days left on the countdown, and the Doctor woke up to the sound of water, very, very close. He opened his eyes and realised immediately that his hut had sprung several leaks from rain. He sacrificed his stockpile of wood by using the tarp and some clothes to bung the holes.

In his head, Rose told him she could feel his hunger, and that they were now searching a galaxy transport station. He wondered if that was any closer to him.

Despite the fact it was still raining, he was so,  _ so  _ hungry, so he went out to hunt. Five hours later, he came back with nothing.

* * *

Nine days remaining, and it continued to rain.

The hunger he was now feeling was intense. It felt as though it was gnawing at his insides. He was beginning to get pretty desperate for something to eat. The vegetation wasn’t cutting it at all - he was still in an energy deficit from his healing coma. For his body, he knew it wasn’t particularly bad at the moment - although he’d become used to eating like a human, his gallifreyan biology would be absolutely fine for another four or five days before he got anywhere near ketosis.

The pain was now going away and coming back much more often. It was almost a relief when he could feel it, as it helped to suppress the feeling of hunger.

He tried hunting again, but the rain was keeping everything in hiding.

As he’d done every day before, he tried more mayday calls. He received absolutely nothing back.

* * *

Eight days left on the countdown, and he was getting very fed up. The hunger was persistent, and it was still raining. As well as putting all the animals into hiding, the rain was making everything damp and cold, which only increased his pain. After some medical maintenance and some ineffectual mayday calls he headed out to hunt again and got nothing for his efforts. 

He was beginning to get irate from the complete lack of sustenance, so when Rose told him they were now visiting every hospital in the galaxy, his frustration boiled over and he made the regrettable move of kicking the chest at the end of the bed with his bad leg.

After spending some time on the floor groaning and lamenting having done that, he spotted a small book he’d not seen before under the bed. He retrieved it, and discovered it was a diary.

He went to the last few entries immediately.

**5th November**

**Weather: Cloudy.**

**As I told you, the allotment hasn’t been so good this year, but it’s nothing I can’t salvage. They’re forecasting a storm on Saturday, so I’ve reinforced the hut. Don’t want a repeat of last year.**

**Regarding national news, that dispute I told you about is still going on. I’m listening to the army’s radio through mine and I don’t really know what to make of this whole situation. I don’t see how they can sort this out.**

**9th November**

**Weather: Rain. No sign of that storm, yet.**

**Sam came to see me today. I’m surprised. Didn’t think outdoor life was his thing. I guess he just wanted to see his dad - it’s been two years. And I’m always happy to see him, of course. Even if he does think I’m crazy for packing it all in to go and live in the woods. Though frankly, with the world as it is, I’m very happy to stay here.**

**Speaking of, the world situation doesn’t seem to be improving. They’re just making each other angrier, all the time. I hope someone resolves this, fast, because I can see a war about to erupt.**

**14th November**

**Weather: Storm!**

**Finally, it arrived. Nearly ripped the hut apart. I’m going to have to spend Christmas doing major repair work.**

**I’ve lost my communication system so I’m not sure what’s going on in the outside world. But it’s dead quiet here now the storm’s passed. Very peaceful. You’d love it.**

**16th November**

**Weather: …**

**When I woke up, the sky was black, and it still is, at 1pm in the afternoon. The sun’s being blocked out. It’s getting harder to breathe. I don’t know what to do.**

**I need to find Sam, but I don’t even know where he lives, now. Will he find me?**

**I’m scared, Janey. I wish you were here. You always knew what to do.**

That was it.

The Doctor considered what he’d just read, and the state he’d found the hut in. Food left mid-meal, and this diary - the man writing wouldn’t just leave it behind. It was too important for that. The person he’d been writing to - dead? - was too important to him. The man had upped and left, fleeing for his life, leaving behind everything he held dear for survival. The Doctor hoped he’d escaped from what he’d been running from.

Something had happened, some sort of conflict. Some weapon had been fired, perhaps, that proved so lethal that it had covered the sun and possibly caused breathing difficulties. Whatever this man had seen was no longer there, anyway.

All in all, it made this countdown begin to look even worse than he could have imagined.

* * *

Seven days to go.

The rain finally stopped, and he was out hunting again. Finally the animals were emerging, and to his utter delight, he saw a deer lingering near to the hut.

He approached it cautiously, taking up a position and holding it, but he didn't have a confident shot, and he was damned if he was going to let it get away. It eventually wandered.

He was so desperate for something to eat that he stalked it for a mile. He made absolutely sure before he took his chance, and shot a precise arrow.

The animal dropped to the floor. He couldn't help but let out a cry of joy at his success, and despite his constant pain, he practically ran to it.

As he reached it, it twitched and died. Then it dawned on him. Of course, in his hastiness in trying to find food, he'd forgotten to account for how exactly he was going to get it back to the hut.

He could go back to the hut and fashion some sort of sled, but his somewhat feral tendencies of late compelled him to hold onto his new food source, and never let go. That worried him slightly, but his primal instinct was quite a bit more influential over him right now than his rational, well-educated, reasoned Time Lord mind. That made him laugh a bit. 

So, he grabbed a leg, and started dragging.

It took him three hours as he had to keep stopping. When he got back to the hut it was dark, and the only thing that gave him enough energy to prepare the meat was the thought of not eating anything at all. Eventually he managed it, cooked it, and finally was able to sate the hunger.

He then dropped onto the bed, staring at the ceiling, every cell in his body aching.

‘Sorry, Rose,’ he muttered as the pain went away again. He took the opportunity to jump into bed, and closed his eyes, and was out like a light.

* * *

_ ‘November Foxtrot Eight, November Foxtrot Eight. This is November Foxtrot Six, come in. Over.’ _

The Doctor jerked awake with six days left on the countdown to the sound of a voice. He was so confused, for a moment he just lay there, wondering if it was just part of a dream, when the man spoke again.

_ ‘November Foxtrot Eight, November Foxtrot Eight. This is November Foxtrot Six, come in. Over.’ _

The communication system, he realised. Someone was there. 

Quicker than a flash, he threw back the blanket, pivoted on the bed, and launched himself upright, ready to run over. However, mid-stride, his legs suddenly seemed to collapse from beneath him and he hit the floor with a rather ungracious thud, chin first.

‘Ow,’ he moaned, and tried to get up, wondering what he’d tripped on. But to his utter shock, he couldn’t seem to move anything. 

_ ‘November Foxtrot Six, this is November Foxtrot Eight, go ahead, over.’ _

_ ‘Supplies are loaded and we’re preparing to launch. ETA four minutes. Asking for star map. Over.’ _

He could do nothing but lie there, paralysed, listening as his chance to finally communicate with someone slowly dribbled away.

_ ‘Roger wilco. Over and out.’ _

After around ten more seconds he finally was able to move. He got up, staggering a little, and nearly crashed headlong into the comms system.

‘Mayday, mayday, mayday! This is Alpha Hotel One! Come in! Mayday!’ he yelled into the radio.

Pause.

‘Mayday, mayday, mayday! This is Alpha Hotel One! Do you copy? Mayday!’ he tried again.

_ ‘I copy, Alpha Hotel One, this is November Foxtrot Six, go ahead. Over.’ _

‘Stranded and in need of medical assistance and evacuation. Over.’

_ ‘Roger, Alpha Hotel One. Please state your coordinates. Over.’ _

‘Unknown. Over.’

_ ‘Roger. Stand by. Over.’ _

The Doctor waited momentarily before he got a reply.

_ 'Alpha Hotel One, are you located at the base of your call station? Over.’ _

‘Affirmative. Over.’

_ ‘How many in your party? Over.’ _

'One. Over.’

_ ‘Roger. Stand by. Over.’ _

The pause was this time excruciatingly long. 

_ ‘Transmat log states that you are an Undesirable. Terminating communication. Over and out.’ _

The Doctor blinked, shocked. ‘November Foxtrot Six, do you copy? Over.’

Nothing.

‘November Foxtrot Six! Come in! Over!’

Nothing.

They’d just cut him off?

‘November Foxtrot Six! Do you copy? Over!’

_ ‘Alpha Hotel One, this is November Foxtrot Six, you will clear the comms immediately. Over.’ _

‘Why!? … Over!’

_ ‘Clear the comms, Alpha Hotel Six. Over and out,’  _ the man repeated.

‘Talk to me! Over!’

No answer.

The man was a brick wall, the Doctor realised. He was going to get absolutely nowhere.

‘Okay, okay. I understand you won’t come and get me. But I have one question. Please. Then I’ll leave you alone. Over.’

_ ‘Go ahead. Over.’ _

‘What’s the countdown until? Over.’

_ ‘Planetary demolition. Over and out.’ _

The Doctor sighed. Of course. Of  _ course  _ that would be it. Seconds later, he heard the distant sound of some kind of rocket. He went outside and looked up, watching as a rocket launched, and disappeared into the sky.

‘Thanks!’ he yelled sarcastically towards it.

He couldn’t stay here. He had six days to find some way of getting a message to Rose and the others before the whole planet was destroyed. But without a communication system or a phone, he had absolutely nothing to do it with.

He decided that his best chance was to get out of this forest and find a city. There, maybe he could find either people, or a more sophisticated communication system that would be able to reach the TARDIS, or perhaps both. But the distance of the rocket’s launch hadn’t been promising - the nature of the sound of the rocket, its predictable size, and factoring in an exclusion zone for the launchpad, he was probably looking at around about 120 miles to the nearest identified populated area. That would take him around four to five days to get to in his current state, if he really pushed himself. If he was lucky, he might come across a population before that, but his luck had been somewhat lacking recently, so he wasn’t going to pin all his hopes on that.

There was nothing for it. He’d have to stockpile some food and resources to take, go into a healing coma for twenty-four hours and hope that however he came out on the other end meant he’d be able to get there with time to spare.


	27. Only the Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor discovers a serious problem as a result of the planet’s evacuation procedures as his connection with Rose heightens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains references to a previous story in this series, Co-consciousness, in which the Doctor and Jack got themselves imprisoned in New Shada.
> 
> Features the Doctor being the Doctor in all his Doctor glory.

Two days left on the countdown.

The Doctor had been walking for two days, trying to get to some sort of civilisation or city. Thankfully he still had some pregnancy medication left so he was fine on that front, but asides from that he couldn’t do much about the fact he felt like hell.

The healing coma had helped, managing to reduce his tear to something a lot less deep. His elbow and knee had also drastically improved so he wasn’t in as nearly as much pain - something Rose had commented on. However, his random numbness was increasingly frequent.

To top it all off, it was now snowing. Normally he wouldn’t feel the cold that much, but with all of his reserves being directed to healing, he felt it a lot more. His only idea was to wrap the blanket he’d bought around himself. It helped, but didn’t solve the problem, and that also meant that when he set up camp his bed was cold and wet.

Another problem was his choice of footwear. He adored his converse, but they weren’t really appropriate footwear for trekking through the ever-deepening snow. His feet were freezing.

As he walked and shivered, he didn’t have much to think about besides why the numbness was happening. He could only really reason that it, and hearing Rose talking in his head, was the result of something to do with the telepathic damage he’d received in the future. Perhaps it was doing exactly what Brax had theorised. He’d relapsed, and the damage had suddenly swelled - his bond with Rose had been affected, maybe exacerbated, causing their telepathic connection to increase somehow.

But it was just theories. He didn’t know that much about telepathy as he so seldom used it. So until he could scan himself and speak to Brax, he needed to get back to the TARDIS first, preferably before the planet blew up.

He went numb again, this time in his left arm. He took a seat on a nearby fallen tree, waiting for it to pass. He stayed there for a few moments, before he suddenly had the most terrific notion.

He used his right hand to lay his numbed left arm on his leg, and steadied himself. If Rose could feel his pain, then maybe, just maybe …

He traced a word into his numb arm slowly, deliberately, and repeatedly with his cold fingertip.

**ALLONS-Y**

‘Please, please, please,’ he muttered. He kept tracing it, over and over again.

Suddenly he heard her voice in his head, confused, _ ‘Doctor? Is this you?’  _

‘Yes!’ he cried happily, and traced his reply into his arm.

**YES**

_ ‘Are you okay? Who’s hurting you?’ _

**OK / NO ONE**

_ ‘No one?’ _

**TRANSMAT BAD**

_ ‘Where are you?’ _

**IDK**

_ ‘How hurt are you?’ _

**OKISH**

_ ‘Have you got help?’ _

**NO**

_ ‘Describe where you are, yeah?’ _

**PLANET**

**ABANDONED**

**HUMAN**

**WAR?**

**COUNTDOWN**

_ ‘Countdown to what?’ _

He thought momentarily about his reply. He needed to be concise, but informative.

**BOOM**

Yep, that summed it up.

_ ‘Anythin’ else about where you are?’ _

The feeling suddenly came back in his arm. He groaned. The moment was over.

_ ‘I can’t feel the pressure anymore,’  _ she told him.  _ ‘But we’re gonna find you. Brax and Jack are on it.’ _

The Doctor sighed, dropping his arm. It had been a good idea, but probably unhelpful that he had no clue about where he was.

He had to keep going. If he could get to the nearest city before tonight, he would have a whole day to concentrate on getting off of the planet.

He got up, and continued onwards.

* * *

Eight more hours, and it was dark. He did a final push, and finally reached a town. It was quiet and looked empty, but the street lights were on, highlighting overflowing bins and parked cars, covered in snow.

Despite looking abandoned, he thought he’d try calling out anyway.

‘Hello?’ he yelled, his voice echoing into the distance. After thirty seconds of shouting, he decided no one was there, and he had to find somewhere to rest. He was aching, freezing, and hungry again. Being akin to a human, he decided, was a real pain.

He continued to walk, searching for a semi-inviting house he could utilise. He finally found one that had its lights on and some kid’s toys in the front garden. Excited at the prospect of finding someone, he rang the doorbell.

No one answered.

He tried the handle. It was unlocked. He stepped inside a hall, adorned with pictures of members of a family - mum, dad, and a baby, then presumably the same baby growing into a blue-eyed, black-haired, beautiful toddler. There was also a dog basket in the hallway, and a bowl of unfinished dog food that was being enjoyed by a couple of lucky rats, who scarpered at the sight of him. 

‘Anyone home?’ he tried.

Still no answer. He gratefully heaved off his bag, and ducked his head in the living room. There he saw toys on the floor, empty plates on the dining table, birthday cards addressed to a boy named Jacob, and a TV. 

He found the remote and with a bit of sonic trickery he turned it on. He had a flick through of the channels, but they all had the same message:  **TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES PLEASE STAND BY** . He tried the sonic, but nothing suddenly sprang into life. 

No matter. He had work to do.

With his sonic in hand he turned on the lights, fired up the heaters, and searched the kitchen. He found plenty of frozen food in the freezer, still edible, and started creating himself a mini banquet.

Mid-cooking, he suddenly heard a thud from upstairs. Slightly worried, he armed himself with his sonic, and headed to the bottom of the stairs.

‘Anyone there?’ he called into the darkness. 

Silence.

He turned on the light for the stairs, and cautiously ascended. He reached the first floor, and turned on more lights. It seemed empty. Maybe something had just fallen?

He concentrated, just listening. His keen Time Lord hearing was picking something up from somewhere at the end of the hall.

‘Who’s there?’ he asked.

No answer.

He moved forward. By the time he reached the room the noise was coming from, he could hear exactly what it was. Panicked, shallow breathing. Someone was in the room.

He knocked on the door. ‘Who’s there?’

The breathing increased in speed. Definitely scared breathing from a child, he decided. In this massive exodus, how had a child been left behind? The child was probably on the brink of starvation, and it was probably Jacob, the boy in the photos and birthday cards downstairs. He pocketed the sonic and carefully slid down to sit against the door.

‘Hey, I’m the Doctor,’ he said. 'What’s your name?’

The breathing stifled a little bit, before it resumed.

‘Okay. How about I guess your name? I've been told I'm very good at guessing.’

No reply.

'Okay, how about Bob?’

The breathing stifled again.

'Not Bob? Okay, Trevor.’

He got a giggle.

‘Batman.’

That got a giggle.

‘Frank. Terry. Ron Weasley. Engelbert. Marmaduke. Fluffy. Rover. Mr Whiskers.’

The child was laughing now.

‘Okay, okay,’ the Doctor said, laughing. ‘I think we'll be here a while before I guess it. Listen, I'm cooking up a banquet downstairs cos I'm starving, and I bet you are too. I've got the heating on so it's nice and warm. If you fancy it, come on down.’

Silence.

'Might see you in a minute then,’ he said, getting up. He paused for a moment to listen for a response, but there was none. He left the light on, and headed back downstairs.

Soon enough, the smell of the food lured down the child. The Doctor saw a little head poke out from the doorframe. It was the black-haired boy from the photos, and he couldn't have been more than four-years-old.

'Hey,’ the Time Lord greeted, and pointed at all the food. ‘Help yourself.’

The kid, still somewhat apprehensive, stood there staring at him.

'Come on, you must be starving,’ the Doctor coaxed. 'If you don't get a move on I'll have it all. Honest, I will.’

The boy made a scared noise, and finally stepped into the room. He looked thin, pale, and bedraggled.

The Doctor pretended he wasn't analysing the boy, helping himself to some potatoes. After a few seconds, the boy moved forward, and snatched some food, shoving it in his mouth.

'Hey, manners,’ the Doctor told him. The boy froze, petrified. 'Sit down, knife and fork.’

Another few seconds, and the boy did he was told. 

'Cor, listen to me, I sound like my mum,’ the Doctor joked. He then got up, and the boy suddenly recoiled backwards.

The Doctor put his hands in the air. 'Hey, not going to hurt you. I'm getting more chicken nuggets. D'you want chicken nuggets?’

The boy stared at him, wide-eyed, before he nodded.

The Doctor nodded in return, and heaped some onto his and the boy's plates. 'Can't get enough of chicken nuggets, me. I once met a chef on the plant Soxxnix whose entire restaurant menu was based on chicken nuggets. I begged him to give me his recipe for his chicken nugget soufflé but he refused. Doesn't matter. I can't cook. Not on Wednesdays, anyway.’

He picked up a nugget and dropped it on the table. It bounced.

'Pretty sure they're not supposed to bounce,’ he mused, and shot the boy a grin. The boy’s face lightened slightly, but said nothing.

The Doctor retook his seat. 'So, what's your name? Else I  _ will  _ start calling you Mr Whiskers, don't think I won't.’

The boy gazed at him some more. 'Jacob,’ he said in a small voice.

'Ah, then birthday wishes are in order,’ the Doctor said, gesturing in the direction of the cards. 'Happy birthday.’

'Thank you,’ Jacob replied politely.

The Doctor watched him as he wolfed down the food. 'How long have you been on your own, Jacob?’

Jacob shrugged.

'What happened to mum and dad?’

Jacob's eyes began to water. 'The men took 'em away.’

'What men?’

'The van men.’

'There were men with a van?’

'Yeah and all the people got on and then rocket went up,’ the boy replied, starting on another chicken nugget.

'Was this after the sky went dark?’

'Yeah. When we couldn't breathe.’

‘Do you know why the sky turned black? Was it something to do with a war?’

‘Yeah,’ the boy replied. 

The Doctor nodded slowly. 'Why didn't you go with your mum and dad?’

The water in Jacob's eyes doubled. 'I not allowed.’

‘Why not?’

‘Did a bad thing,’ Jacob said, starting to cry now.

‘What bad thing?’

'I stole some sweets from the shop.’

The Doctor raised an eyebrow, really struggling to understand that one. ‘Wait, so, you weren't evacuated because you stole some sweets?’

Jacob's tears increased. 'M-mummy begged the v-van men and … but … they said n-no and they t-took mummy and d-daddy away,’ he managed to get out between sobs.

‘Hey, it's okay,’ the Doctor said quickly, moving around to hold out his arms for a hug. Jacob took the offer and held onto him, shaking. For a moment he just kept consoling the boy, struggling dearly to figure out how a four-year-old could get left behind for something like that.

‘Jacob,’ he started once the boy's tears had run out, ‘the van men … did they call you anything? As in, a name that isn't your name?’

Jacob wiped his eyes and looked up at him. ‘Under … umm … under …’

‘Undesirable?’ the Doctor asked, his hearts sinking.

Jacob nodded.

Everything slotted into place, then. The people evacuating would have limited space. There would be a need to cut down the amount of people leaving. So the government had done exactly that - they’d separated the good and the bad, taking the ‘good’ ones with them, and leaving the ‘bad’ ones. The Doctor was still yet to discover what made him undesirable, or how a little boy stealing some sweets resulted in him being left behind to die. 

‘Don't worry, we'll sort this out,’ he told Jacob. ‘I’ll find mum and dad and get us off of this planet.’

‘Okay,’ Jacob said, hugging him some more.

Once dinner was done with, the Doctor made up beds for him and Jacob so they could stay together and in the warm. It was going to be a long day tomorrow. The Time Lord, exhausted, fell asleep immediately.

* * *

The Doctor woke up, bleary-eyed. His time sense told him it was somewhere around 6am. He checked Jacob, but the boy was fast asleep.

He groaned, rolled over, and wondered if he could get away with another hour’s sleep.

_ ‘This is the final evacuation, please proceed to the road for transport from the planet immediately.’ _

The Doctor sat up, wide-eyed. That hadn’t been a robot. It had sounded like a kind of megaphone coming from outside. He got up and pulled on his coat, shaking Jacob as he did.

‘Jacob, get up, spit-spot,’ he told the boy as the child blinked, sleepy. The Doctor went upstairs to the end room he’d found the boy in, and went through the drawers to get him a jumper. He went back down, pausing only momentarily as he passed a mirror. His reflection was somewhat rough, with askew hair and a light beard, and some remainders of blood on his ripped clothes that he hadn’t been able to wash out. He tried to settle his hair, but he couldn't.

He sighed, and went back into the living room, grabbing the smallest coat on the hooks enroute.

_ ‘This is the final evacuation for citizens assigned to category Yellow 984. Please proceed to the road for transport from the planet immediately with identification,’  _ the voice said again.  _ ‘Repeat, this is the final evacuation for citizens assigned to category Yellow 984. Please proceed to the road for transport from the planet immediately with identification.’ _

‘Jacob, we've got to go,’ he told the sleepy boy. ‘Arms up.’

Jacob obliged, and the Doctor pulled on his jumper and his coat. He then grabbed his hand and pulled him out the door to the snow-covered street. Some people were outside, looking around as a van turned onto the end of the road.

‘Van men?’ the Doctor asked Jacob.

‘Yeah,’ the boy muttered, and held onto the Doctor’s coat.

The van pulled up around twenty metres away. The Doctor moved to it, along with a handful of other people that had been in nearby houses.

‘Please form an orderly queue!’ a soldier said, and the crowd did. The Doctor joined it, keeping alert.

Then they began to be processed. They were being scanned and their IDs checked. Everyone went on the van without any problems, until finally it was his and Jacob’s turn. 

‘Hello!’ he said brightly. He got nothing but a cold glare back, but he persisted, ‘great work, you’re doing here.’

‘Present ID please, sir,’ a man with a datapad said in a deadpan voice, barely looking at him.

The Doctor whipped out his psychic paper and gave it to the soldier checking IDs, making sure some good credentials for him and Jacob were on it.

Then, Jacob was scanned. The Doctor maintained his air of confidence, even as the man with the datapad suddenly tightened his jaw. There was a long, agonising pause as he clearly double-checked.

The Doctor had a terrible feeling about this.

‘This boy is an Undesirable,’ the man finally stated.

The crowd cried out, panicked, as though he’d just announced that Jacob was a bomb about to detonate.

‘Oh, come on,’ the Doctor protested. ‘He’s just a child.’

‘This boy has been given a Local Child Curfew order,’ the man said. ‘He is not allowed to be evacuated.’

Jacob began to cry. The Doctor gazed at the man.

‘He stole some sweets,’ the Time Lord said. ‘That’s hardly the crime of the century.’

The crowd reacted again, but this time in Jacob's favour. ‘But that's ridiculous!’ one cried.

‘The child is guilty of theft and he will not have passage,’ the man said without a trace of emotion. ‘Evacuation procedures dictate that any person deemed a criminal is an Undesirable and will be left here.’

‘You’re going to let him die for stealing some sweets?’ the Doctor asked, his eyebrows knotted.

‘Theft is theft, sir,’ the man said, and began to scan him.

The Doctor was so astonished that he hadn't quite reached the emotion of anger yet. ‘But … What?’

‘You are also an Undesirable.’

The crowd seemed to be starting to panic as Jacob’s tears multiplied, and the soldiers suddenly aimed their weapons straight at him and Jacob.

‘I’ve never even visited your planet before, how can I be an Undesirable?’ the Doctor asked seriously, hands in the air. 

‘Records state you have already been examined and deemed an escaped convict,’ the man said.

The crowd bristled at that. ‘Get out!’ one of them shouted at him, as another one cried, ‘stay here and die, Undesirable!!’

The crowd were beginning to boil, the Doctor realised, and he and Jacob were standing in the middle of it.

‘Escaped convict? Hold on,’ the Doctor said, his hands still in the air. ‘I think you’ve made a mistake.’

‘No mistake,’ the man said calmly, finally looking up at him. His eyes drifted to the Doctor’s left arm. The Doctor looked down, and realised. 

His clothes were ripped, exposing the top of his arm. The black mark of the unbroken dragon was dark on his pale skin, signifying not only that he’d been in New Shada, but also that he hadn’t completed his sentence. To them, he was an escaped convict from one of the most high-security prisons in the Universe.

Okay, so,  _ technically _ he was, but it had been for admirable reasons, all of which were far too complex and frankly insane to get into now.

‘No, no, no, hold on,’ he said, thinking quickly, ‘you can’t. I’m not a convict, you’ve got it wrong.’ He desperately searched for a believable reason as to why he’d have such a mark. ‘Stag night,’ he finally stated. ‘We were very, very drunk. And I  _ mean  _ very. At one point I'm pretty sure I attempted to climb Mount Garanachos on my knees. Then we thought it would be a laugh to get matching dragon tattoos. Little did we know, of course, that it also happens to be the brand of one of the most notorious prisons in the Universe. Probably why it was so cheap. It's caused hell during my job hunt, I can tell you.’

The man clearly didn’t buy it. ‘Move away from the vehicle please, sir.’

‘Okay, right, I can see you’re not going to fall for that one,’ the Doctor conceded, wincing. ‘But why I have this is a really long, brilliant,  _ complicated _ story, and …’

The soldiers simultaneously cocked their rifles on command. The Doctor sighed.

‘All right,’ he said. ‘I get it. Fine. Leave me by all means. But please, you have to take the boy.’

‘He is an undesirable,’ the man said.

The Doctor was starting to find his anger now. Not taking him for being an escaped convict at least had reason, but not taking Jacob? 

‘He  _ stole some sweets,’  _ the Doctor stressed. ‘Now I don’t even know what kind of weird, twisted justice system you have as I’ve only been here for two weeks and most of them I’ve spent in a forest, but anyone who can leave a child behind to die for something as tiny as that needs their heart examined.’

‘Move away,’ the man repeated.

‘You know what this is?  _ Murder,’  _ the Doctor spat, and looked at everyone around him. ‘All of you. Child killers.’

Suddenly it had gone quiet. The Doctor stepped it up a notch.

'Leave the bad behind, oh, great policy,’ he spat. ‘Never mind the few people with badly-timed minor offences. I bet there are thousands of kids like Jacob who've been condemned to die, cold, alone, and without their parents. How can you pretend to be the “good” ones when you're doing this? This is disgusting.’

Another long, awkward pause.

'I’m not asking for much. You can leave me if you want, but you  _ have  _ to take Jacob,’ the Doctor stressed. 'Find his parents. Save him. You can't just let him die. He's four-years-old.’

The man looked at him, his eyes dark. ‘Do not think for one second that I enjoy this.’

'What are you scared of, exactly?’ the Doctor asked incredulously. 'What could possibly be so terrifying that you’d murder a child?’

The crowd were becoming vocal again, calling out in support of Jacob. The man and the soldiers were beginning to look very uncomfortable.

'I have to …’ The man's steely voice was now so low.

‘Else you'll get charged with a crime and left here too?’ the Doctor supposed.

The man nodded.

‘Then that needs to change, right now.’ The Doctor held up his wrists together, ready to be cuffed. ‘Arrest me, and take me to whatever idiot you're scared of.’

* * *

He'd been put on the van in handcuffs, and thankfully they'd taken Jacob with him too. The van had driven to the rocket base, and while the rest of the passengers were told to relax and get ready to disembark in a few hours, the Doctor was taken deeper inside the base to the control room, where the commander of the whole operation was busy dictating orders to their lessers.

When the Doctor saw who the idiot was, he wasn't in the least bit surprised.

'General Koboho,’ he stated.

The Judoon turned, startled, and saw him. Her face dropped. 'I told you to get rid of him!’ she spat to one of the soldiers.

'Oh,  _ you  _ were the one that left me to die then,’ the Doctor said. 'Just hoped I might bleed to death?’

‘Koboho, what is going on?’ a man asked. He had a lot of medals over his breast pocket, so the Doctor assumed he was important.

'This man is a dangerous criminal and a chronic liar, Field Marshall! You two, get him out of my sight!’ Koboho roared at the soldiers who had brought the Doctor in.

'Oh no, no, no, I haven't survived fourteen days of pain, cold, and starvation just to get ushered out of the door,’ the Doctor said fiercely. 'So what happened, then? Your transmat automatically snagged me, you realised it was me and decided to dump me in the middle of nowhere? Did you decide I was bad enough to die along with all the children?’

Koboho’s nostrils flared. 'I have the job of evacuating a country on a planet that's about to be destroyed! My jurisdiction; my rules! You're an escaped convict, Doctor, you can't deny that!’

'Oh, I'm not denying it,’ he replied. 'I couldn't care less what you do to me, but there's a boy I found on the planet, just a kid, still learning to talk, and your Santa-styled karma system means he was left behind to die as his parents got taken away. How can you justify that!?’

‘Koboho, what is he talking about?’ the important man asked, wide-eyed.

‘The child is an Undesirable, he stays behind!’ Koboho cried.

'What’s your criteria on being “bad”, exactly?’ the Doctor wondered genuinely.

'Those with a past or current conviction fit that criteria, and that means  _ you _ and the child _ ,’  _ Koboho grunted.

'Oh, so  _ your _ past conviction doesn't matter, does it?’ the Doctor wondered.

The room fell silent. The Doctor slowly spread a grin. 'Oooh dear, you haven't told them, have you?’ he realised joyfully.

'He’s lying!’ Koboho roared to the stunned soldiers and the important man, who were all staring at her.

‘Lying? Why would I lie? I mean, I'm an escaped criminal so I'm probably going back to the planet to die either way. I've got nothing to gain,’ the Doctor pointed out.

‘You make a serious accusation, sir,’ the important man said. ‘What is your name?’

‘I’m the Doctor,’ the Doctor replied happily. ‘I’m a tourist. And let me tell you, you’re about to get a  _ seriously  _ bad review on Tripadvisor.’

‘What is your accustion, Doctor?’ the important man asked.

‘Never mind that, shoot him!’ Koboho cried, furious.

All of the soldiers looked at her, astonished.

‘What are you waiting for, I said shoot him!’ Koboho insisted. 

‘You are out of line, General,’ the important man said seriously. ‘We hired you to help us evacuate, not order executions.’

‘I apologise, sir,’ Koboho mumbled.

‘Please, Doctor, tell us your story,’ the important man invited him as Koboho squirmed.

The Doctor paused momentarily, making sure everyone's attention was fixed on him. Then, he began. 

‘Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, get ready for a tale of deception and destruction,’ he said in his best circus ringmaster voice, embracing the moment. ‘Yes, I was imprisoned in New Shada, one of the most notorious prisons in the Universe. I was charged with genocide, a crime I faked, because I had to get in there in order to save the life of someone I love. I had to pretend to be a real convict. General Koboho, the prison warden at the time, had an inkling I wasn’t there for genuine reasons, and even hauled me into the office to talk about it. Of course, I couldn’t reveal my real reasons, as I wouldn’t have been able to complete what I was there to do. 

‘However, when you’re a Time Lord imprisoned with thousands of the Universe’s worst criminals, you’re going to get some unwanted attention. I did. I was singled-out by the prison population - punched, kicked, and knocked out. Our glorious prison warden started to panic. After all, the press were interested in my story, since I’m quite famous, you know. So when news hit the press about me not being adequately protected in prison, she took steps. With my protection apparently being her only reason, she put me in solitary confinement, trying to grill the truth out of me. She kept granting herself extensions to keep me in there, and proceeded to torture me for four weeks. I had nothing to eat or drink, I didn’t go out of the room at all, I was chained to a chair that intermittently suffocated me. By the end of it, I was mentally ravaged.

‘When I finally recovered my senses, I submitted a formal complaint to the Neo Proclamation. I’m told that evidence from security footage of my cell was taken, and Koboho was prosecuted with false imprisonment, serious assault, counterfeiting documents, abuse of authority … it's quite a list.’

He paused, looking around at the stunned soldiers. The jaws were collectively agape.

‘Sorry, but your hired help is a convicted criminal. And I’m assuming that she hasn’t served a sentence, because she’s just as young as when I last saw her. How long have you been on the run, Koboho?’

The silence was deafening as everyone stared at him, Koboho included.

‘Surely you’re not going to believe a Time Lord over me?’ Koboho suddenly snorted at the important man. ‘Time Lords are sticky, treacherous, self-obsessed little tyrants!’

‘Oh, and I’ll add,’ the Doctor started again, ‘if you have any doubts about anything I’ve said, then please feel free to call the Neo Proclamation directly.’

‘I think we will do that,’ the important man said slowly, nodding to one of the soldiers, who disappeared immediately. 

Koboho made a rather intimidating rhino noise in utter fury and contempt for the Doctor.

‘And please, General, save these children left behind,’ the Doctor said.

‘That goes without saying,’ the General said, nodding again to one of his soldiers, who also rushed off. He then looked at the Doctor and Koboho. ‘Secure these two somewhere until we receive confirmation from the Neo Proclamation.’


	28. Teamwork

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and his old foe must work together to survive, before the Doctor has another vision, this time with serious repercussions.

Ten minutes later, the Doctor and Koboho were sitting in a stockroom with the door locked, both handcuffed. Koboho looked as though she wanted to tear the Doctor apart, her rhino eyes narrowed and burning with contempt.

‘I’m sorry,’ the Doctor said seriously. ‘I had to. You weren’t listening.’

‘You think I need your apology?’ Koboho grunted. ‘Once they find out, they’ll condemn me to death on the planet! I’m going to die because of you!’

‘Hey, I’m going to be left behind too,’ the Doctor said, gesturing with his cuffed hands to his New Shada mark. 

‘Oh, you’ll die long before the planet is demolished!’ she snarled.

‘Really?’ the Doctor wondered. ‘Yes, your naughty or nice Santa system has resulted in probably thousands of children being left behind to die, but you’re not a murderer, Koboho. You’re still a judoon, and you’ve spent your life enforcing the law with procedure. This was just an outcome you hadn’t accounted for. I think, if someone had pointed it out to you that wasn’t me, you’d have reversed that decision and saved the children anyway.’

‘Don’t pretend to know me, Time Lord!’

‘Koboho, I understand why you did what you did to me. You panicked, and you took the wrong road. You’re not evil, you’ve just made bad decisions.’

‘I don’t care about your opinion.’

‘Listen to me,’ the Doctor stressed. ‘Any minute now, the soldiers will come back, confirm the story and leave us both here on the planet. Either you can refuse to talk properly to me, or we can work together and escape this.’

‘I will not believe your Time Lord lies!’

‘No lies,’ the Doctor said. ‘I’ve got some friends looking for me.’

‘And put me in prison!’

‘Not necessarily,’ the Doctor said. ‘I forgive you for everything you did to me. I never wanted to charge you. Maybe we can work something out with the Neo Proclamation.’

‘Time Lord tricks!’

The Doctor sighed, rolling his eyes. ‘Please, Koboho.’

‘Don’t speak to me again, Time Lord!’ 

The Doctor gave up.

* * *

A few hours later, the Doctor and Koboho were standing in a street of the town he’d come from, watching as the last rocket took off, carrying the final passengers, Jacob with them. He hoped Jacob would find his parents.

_ ‘21,550 … 21,549 … 21,548 …’  _ The countdown voice was on a PA system now. He worked out that they had until 6pm - six hours to get off of the planet.

The Doctor turned to Koboho. ‘Time to work together?’

She grunted at him, turned, and walked away.

‘Koboho!’ he called after her, but she didn't break stride. 

He sighed. Rose's voice suddenly came into his head.

_ 'I hope you can hear me. We've found the area you're in but we've got no idea where you are. There's a massive military training base called Petinstrad, please get here.’ _

‘Koboho!’ he called, running as best he could after her. She carried on walking. ‘Koboho, where’s Petinstrad?’

She spun around, her fists clenched. ‘Go away, Time Lord!’

‘Our way out is here and it’s at a military training base called Petinstrad,’ the Doctor said, ignoring that. ‘We need to get there. You know this planet now, where is it?’

She snorted, and pointed to the west. ‘One hundred miles that way. Good luck.’

She turned back, and started walking again.

He caught up, walking backwards in front of her. ‘Perfect. We’ll get a car and drive there. We’ve got six hours.’

‘Get away!’ she roared.

‘Either you can walk around, find nothing and die, or you can come with me and get saved,’ he said, ignoring her again.

‘I  _ told  _ you, I’m not …’

‘Where are you even going?’ he asked. ‘There’s nowhere to go.’

‘Away from  _ you!’ _

‘Koboho,’ he said patiently, stopping and raising a hand. She came to a halt. ‘What you did to me in New Shada was horrific. But the only person you hurt was me. You were doing what you thought was right for you and I commend you for that. I forgive you. I'm also truly sorry for everything you've had to go through since then. It can't have been easy. You have every right to hate me, and that's okay, because a lot of people hate me - I'm used to it. But don’t let it cause your death. Please. Don’t let your pride kill you. I want to help. And I need your help. I can’t get there fast enough on my own.’

She was still clearly annoyed, but the Doctor sensed a slight change of mood, so he pressed. 

‘I’ve got a wife, a daughter, and an unborn son to get back to. I’ve been away for two weeks and I miss them, and all I want to do is see them again. That’s what I’m doing. I’m only interested in staying alive.’

‘Then I’ll owe you a debt,’ she grunted.

‘You’ll owe me nothing,’ he said quickly. ‘Koboho, you don't have to like me. Let’s just help each other out. Please.’

_ ‘21,367 … 21,366 … 21,365 …’  _ the countdown voice continued in the background.

Koboho looked pained. She looked at him, and then behind them where the rocket had disappeared.

'Okay,’ she said. 

The Doctor smiled. 'Thank you.’

* * *

They found a car, and started on their journey. The Doctor couldn't drive for fear of sudden numbness, so he let Koboho drive - a decision he regretted slightly when he realised that although Judoon were trained to operate all modes of transport, cars were not their thing at all. Not to mention that their stoic adherence to procedure meant she kept obeying all the road signs and traffic laws, despite there being no one else on the roads. He decided not to say anything because he didn’t want to annoy her.

'So was I right?’ the Doctor wondered. 'Did you go on the run after your trial?’

'Yes,’ Koboho replied, taking a corner with a staggering amount of speed. The Doctor held onto the dashboard and made sure his seatbelt was secure. 'Straight after the trial I escaped and I've been running ever since. I couldn't return to my home planet, so I've been bouncing from place to place, getting the odd job here and there.’

'Your sentence wasn't  _ that  _ bad, was it?’ the Doctor asked. 'I told Leya to be lenient.’

'Any time spent in prison is shameful to my race,’ she replied, slowly to a snail’s pace to go over a speed bump. 'I couldn't face it.’

'I suppose it would be,’ the Doctor mused. 

‘So I was also correct, then.’

‘About what?’

‘You faked your crime. Was I also correct about the other prisoner being in league with you?’

‘You were,’ he confirmed. ‘You'll probably meet him when we get to the base.’

‘What was so important that you had to get inside New Shada?’ she asked.

'I had to get to Sirrus to save a life,’ he said.

'And did you?’

‘Yeah,’ he affirmed, smiling. 

‘Typical Time Lord,’ she said, her nostrils flaring again. ‘Take what they want and leave carnage in their wake.’

‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘But I couldn't let my wife die.’

Koboho fell silent for a moment. ‘She was the one in your head, correct?’

‘Yep.’

‘You must really love her to have risked everything to save her.’

'Without a doubt,’ the Doctor replied. ‘What about you?’

‘What?’

‘Got anyone you'd risk everything for?’

Koboho sighed, hurtling around a blind bend. 'I have no one.’

‘What about family?’

‘How can I return to Judoonia with everything I've done?’ Koboho asked seriously. ‘I am condemned to roam the universe, avoiding my fate until the day I die.’

‘Everyone makes mistakes,’ the Doctor said. ‘I think whoever you left behind would just be happy to see you.’

Koboho harrumphed, and didn’t reply to that. ‘You said you have a daughter.’

‘Yeah. Her name's Leah.’

‘How old is she?’

‘Five,’ he answered. ‘And I have a son due in six weeks.’

‘Well … congratulations,’ the judoon supposed.

‘Thanks,’ the Doctor replied, looking at her. He sensed a bit of pain, there. ‘Who did you leave behind?’ he asked gently.

‘There is nothing on Judoonia for me.’

‘Talk to me,’ the Doctor coaxed her. ‘I’m a great listener.’

‘No, thank you,’ Koboho gruffed in reply.

‘Okay, sorry,’ the Doctor said, hands in the air. ‘Won’t say another word about it. Hey, I’ve gotta admit, I don’t know much about your species, just what I’ve seen.’

She snorted again. ‘Happy to kill swathes of the Universe but not know anything about what they’re killing. Stupid, ignorant Time Lords.’

‘Hey, little bit racist,’ the Doctor protested. ‘As far as I remember Judoonia wasn’t caught up in the Time War. In fact, we share a great history of peacemaking.’

‘No, we don’t,’ she gruffed.

‘Your ancestors united with my ancestors to fight threats to universal harmony,’ the Doctor pointed out. 

She turned up her rhino nose, slowing to 20 miles per hour to pass an empty school. ‘I watched, Doctor, I watched the Time War, I watched the news as day after day massacre after massacre came in, listing the amount of dead in ten digits. I heard the stories of what Time Lords did to innocent people; the lengths you went to to win. And you didn’t even do that, did you? You lost. You ravaged the universe with your stupid Time War and you lost.’

The Doctor paused, the memory of it feeling like it had jumped up between his hearts, wormed up his throat and started choking him. ‘It started off as a fight against the Daleks. I don’t know what it turned into in the end. Everyone just went mad, me included. I did things I regret deeply. But as I’ve slowly come to terms with everything that happened and what I did, I’ve realised that there wasn’t much else we could do. We should have been far less tyrannical, that’s for certain, but if we hadn’t fought then the Daleks would be running the Universe right now. I’m not saying that’s justification for what we did. I’ll never expect forgiveness for my own personal actions and I won’t excuse them. I still have nightmares about it, I still think about it when it’s quiet. I joined the Time War after I saw a Dalek killing a child, and I ended up killing billions of children on my own planet. Everytime I look at Leah I can see the faces of the dead children. And it hurts. I know the anger you have towards me, and you know what? I share that anger. I can never make up for what I did, but I’m trying. Because - not by choice - I’m still alive.’

The following silence was low, and depressing. No one spoke for ten minutes as they left a town and went deep into the countryside. Suddenly the car began to choke.

‘We’re out of fuel,’ the Doctor realised as the car rolled to a stop.

‘Then we get more,’ Koboho stated.

The Doctor looked pointedly around at their landscape - nothing but acres of untouched land. ‘Good luck with that,’ he pointed out. ‘We must be about twenty miles away from the base.’ He checked his time sense. ‘Four hours until demolition. We’ve got to walk fast.’

Koboho got out of the car. ‘Then start walking, Time Lord.’

She turned, and marched off. The Doctor watched her for a moment, before jogging to catch up with her incredible pace.

* * *

The Doctor’s intermittent pains and numbness kept forcing him to stop. The first few times Koboho had paused to wait, but it wasn’t long until she got fed up and carried on without him. She really,  _ really  _ hated him. He kept trying to communicate with Rose as he’d done before but nothing was coming back. Could she not feel him? He dearly hoped this was a temporary thing.

He had no idea where Koboho was anymore - he’d lost her in the snow, and now it was falling thicker and faster than ever before. He was freezing, and it was becoming harder to move. Everything his healing coma had helped with felt like it was coming undone as the pains returned. Soon his speed was terribly slow, and then he started to limp. 

If he kept going at this rate, he wasn’t going to make it in time, and he was fairly sure Koboho wasn’t coming back.

Another wash of numbness set in, this time to every single limb. He could do nothing but collapse face first into the snow, and lie there, unable to move. 

‘Koboho!’ he tried, hoping she might be close. ‘Koboho!’

Nothing. He waited for the numbness to subside.

It took ten minutes for it to go, by which point when the feeling came back he was in a severe amount of pain, and all of his muscles had weakened significantly. He was almost still numb from the cold itself.

He managed to stand up. He started walking again, but he was even slower than before. With every movement he was becoming worse. He was tired, in pain, and shivering badly. 

‘Koboho!’ he tried again. Nothing. ‘Rose! Brax! Jack!’ he tried instead, but again, nothing came back.

His feet caught on a rock and he fell forward to the ground, landing in the snow. He groaned, and tried to get up, but he couldn’t.

‘Koboho,’ he moaned without any volume. ‘Please …’

He must’ve passed out, because when he opened his eyes he found himself in something that looked and felt uncannily like a coffin. It was cold, dark, and metal. He slammed his fist onto the top of it, testing, when suddenly he realised his wrist. There was a bright green hairband on it. He was in a vision? How!?

‘Rose!’ he cried, but he got nothing back.

He lifted his legs, and slammed his soles into the metal by his feet. He did that a few times, until it bent open, and finally fell off, hitting the floor with a clang. Desperate to get out, he scrambled and pushed his way out, and finally he emerged into the TARDIS infirmary.

It was in emergency lighting, and he could hear the cloister bell ringing out.

He was about to shout, when he saw a piece of paper lying on the bed. He picked it up, and immediately felt even more confused.

**DON’T SAY ANYTHING, TAKE EVERY BIT OF PAPER WITH YOU** Rose’s handwriting said in thick black marker pen, followed by an arrow pointing left. He obligingly folded it and put it in his pocket. He then looked left, and saw another bit of paper stuck to the scanner.

**FOLLOW THESE INSTRUCTIONS EXACTLY** , followed by another arrow pointing to near the store cupboard. That one read: **IGNORE THE NOISE** .

He frowned, when suddenly there was a clang from somewhere outside the room. He turned, startled, and walked up to the door. He immediately saw another piece of paper stuck on the entrance.

**I SAID IGNORE IT!**

This was weird, he decided, pocketing the paper and turning back. The next piece of paper was on the door of the store cupboard.

**GET IN HERE, CLOSE THE DOOR**

He followed the arrow inside the store cupboard and closed the door, where he had his collection of medicines and instruments. The next bit of paper was taped on the shelf right in front of him.

**TAKE THE GUN**

He looked down, and saw Jack’s weapon of choice lying on the shelf. There was another bit of paper.

**DON’T ARGUE, JUST DO IT**

He took hold of the gun and checked it. It was fully loaded. The paper under the gun was revealed.

**TURN AROUND**

He did. There was another bit of paper stuck to the back of the door.

**LOCK THE DOOR! STAY QUIET! DON’T MOVE!**

He did. He’d never been more confused in his life. He waited for roughly twenty seconds, before suddenly he heard the infirmary door open.

‘Theta?’ his brother’s voice asked. 

The Doctor opened his mouth to reply, when his eyes refocused on the paper.

**LOCK THE DOOR! STAY QUIET! DON’T MOVE!**

He shut up, and remained perfectly still.

‘Theta … are you okay?’ Brax asked in gallifreyan, clearly concerned.

This was ridiculous, the Doctor thought. His eyes drifted down from the warning paper, to another one below.

**DON’T ANSWER**

‘Theta, answer me. I’m worried about you,’ Brax said, still in gallifreyan.

The Doctor’s confusion deepened. Why was he holding a gun and hiding from his own brother? He carefully and quietly dropped to his knees. He leant forward, so he could see the infirmary through the crack under the door. There he saw Brax’s shoes, walking up to the tube he’d woken up in.

‘Oh, you managed to get out,’ Brax suddenly said in an eerie, sing-song voice. ‘But I know you have not left the room. So where’s little Theta?’

That unnerved him a bit, his brow well and truly furrowed.

The infirmary door suddenly opened, and another pair of shoes arrived. 

‘Found him, yet?’ a voice asked in gallifreyan. The Doctor knew that voice, and it shook him to the absolute core. 

That was the Master.

‘I think he wants to play hide and seek with us,’ Brax said cheerily. 

‘Oh, love that,’ the Master replied. ‘Me and him used to play that in the Academy. It was great fun. He used to hide for days on end.’

‘He’s very good at hiding, isn’t he?’ Brax supposed.

‘Oh, very good,’ the Master agreed. ‘But he always had one fatal flaw.’

‘What was that?’ Brax wondered.

‘If you listened closely enough, you could always hear his little hearts going like two tap dancers being dosed with 5000 volts.’

The Doctor had to stop himself from gasping, his hand snapped to his chest. His hearts were racing. He quietly and methodically took some breaths, forcing his body to calm down, slowing and quieting his hearts rate.

There was a long, quiet, excruciating pause.

‘Oh, how cute,’ the Master said. ‘He’s learnt how to stop that now he’s older.’

‘Looks like he wants us to play the game,’ Brax said. ‘Should we count to ten?’

‘Well, if we’re going to play, let’s do it properly,’ the Master said. ‘Cover your eyes, Brax. One, two, three, four …’

The Doctor stayed absolutely still. He was panicking. What the hell was going on!?

‘Five, six …’

Brax’s feet started to move towards the store cupboard.

‘Seven, eight …’

There was a rustle of clothing.

‘Nine … ten.’

The Doctor watched, terrified, as suddenly under the crack of the door he saw his brother, staring straight back at him. A small crinkle appeared at the corner of his brother’s eye as he smiled.

‘Ready or not, here we come …’ Brax’s voice hissed through the gap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're heading towards the final stretch ...


	29. Resolutions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor is saved by his old torturer as he struggles to reason what he saw, before taking decisive action in regards to the Moirai.

The Doctor simultaneously gasped and opened his eyes, and found himself back in the snow, freezing cold.

For a moment he just laid there, panting, his head feeling like a horse on a carousel spinning at 100 miles per hour. Brax and the Master? Together? On the TARDIS?

He struggled momentarily to raise his wrist and check it. No hairband.

‘Hello, hello, hello,’ he said out loud, perfectly clear and coherent, besides the chattering of his teeth. He flexed his freezing fingers to check his movement. They were a bit stiff from the cold, but they weren’t numb like they usually were after a vision. 

He couldn’t think about this right now. His time sense told him he only had thirty minutes until detonation, he had about a mile to cover, and Koboho was absolutely nowhere to be seen. She wasn’t coming back. He  _ had  _ to get moving. He could make it if he just kept his momentum.

Whilst he’d been unconscious, he’d been partially buried in snow. He kicked it off, discovering how weak and stiff his legs had become. His clothes were soaked through, and he’d been in these temperatures long enough to be on the edge of hypothermia. He had to get moving.

He slowly but surely rolled onto his front, and pushed himself to his knees. He then grabbed for a nearby branch and hauled himself up. He couldn’t feel his feet, and walking became quite a daunting prospect. But he didn’t have a choice. He summoned up all his energy, and placed one foot in front of the other. His foot didn’t raise like it usually did, so it landed at an awkward angle, twisted, and he promptly fell over with a yelp of shock. He groaned, sitting up and looking down at his ankle. This was the last thing he needed.

He looked around and noticed a fallen branch under a nearby tree, dry. He grabbed it, and planted it firmly into the ground. He then used it to drag himself up, inch by inch, until he was upright again, leaning on the stick.

Then he was off, trekking through the snow with his numb feet and inappropriate footwear, using the stick to haul himself forward. He didn’t know if he’d sprained his ankle since he was too numb, so he tried to keep his weight off of it just in case. His feet were like plates of jelly that his bones were stuck into. He had to methodically lift his leg straight up and make sure his toes had cleared the ground before he took a stride, which made the whole thing excruciatingly slow.

Ten minutes later, he’d only covered about two hundred metres. He  _ had  _ to speed up, at the risk of falling over.

He  _ did  _ speed up, at the expense of tripping six times. Another ten minutes, and he was only halfway there. He reached a slope, and making sure not to hesitate, he started going up.

Halfway, he fell over again. ‘Rose ...!’ he yelled as loudly as he could, which was barely anything as his voice seemed to rattle out of his throat in a hiss. ‘Jack …! Koboho …!’

He’d stopped shivering, he realised, and his breathing had slowed. That wasn’t good.

He forced himself up again. No sooner was he up, he dropped to one knee, barely able to keep himself upright. 

_ Come on!  _ he told himself, trying again. But he couldn’t muster the energy – not anymore.

He looked up to where he was headed. The dying light of the planet’s final sunset was breaking over the top of the hill, lighting up the falling snow in a beautiful, red glow. His blurry vision made the colours merge and intertwine with each other like a watercolour painting. He’d never seen anything like it, and he supposed he never would again, even if he did somehow get out of this alive.

Petingrad was probably just over the hill, if only he could get there, but even he was on the verge of accepting defeat. That wasn’t a feeling he was very accustomed to, but his body had finally given out. He was going no further. 

Then suddenly it went dark. Was this it? Was it the end of the world? He focused his blurry vision as best he could to look up the hill again, and realised that it wasn’t that.

There was a dark silhouette at the top. Someone big. Someone stocky. Someone …

‘Koboho,’ he croaked.

She moved down to him, positioning herself for stability on the hill before grabbing his arm and leg and practically throwing him over her shoulders as though donning a shawl. She didn’t say anything, or maybe the Doctor couldn’t hear it, as she jogged up the rest of the hill and over the top.

He turned his head and saw the military base then, bathed in the red sunset. Koboho ran down the hill, perfectly sure of her footing, arriving at the open access gate. She ran with him across the parade ground, and stopped in the centre.

_ ‘ROOOOSE!!!’  _ she bellowed with her massive judoon lungs, nearly deafening him.  _ ‘HE’S HERE!!! ROOOOSE!!!’ _

He adjusted his head again, and finally saw Rose for the first time in two weeks. She was standing across the parade ground. Koboho began to run again, and finally he was within touching distance.

‘You!’ Rose cried, staring at Koboho with a mixture of hatred, shock, and anger as she cupped his face. ‘What the hell have you done to him!?’

‘No,’ the Doctor managed quietly. ‘No, Rose. No.’

Rose looked at him, hesitating, as Jack and Brax arrived.

‘It’s you!’ Jack realised, pointing at the judoon.

‘Who?’ Brax asked, confused.

‘She tortured him in New Shada!’ Jack yelled angrily.

‘No, no, no,’ the Doctor gasped out. 

He couldn’t see her face, but Koboho sounded desperate. ‘Please, I’ve brought him back to you.’

‘Okay, look, we’ll deal with this later, we’ve only got a few minutes until the planet detonates!’ Rose pointed out. ‘Everyone move!’

They were running again, Koboho taking great strides like she knew exactly where she was going. They passed a few storerooms, a sleeping quarters, and a spaceship dock before they finally reached the TARDIS. The Doctor had lost track of the time left, but clearly it wasn’t long as Brax almost crashed into them, fumbling for the key. The door was opened, and finally he was back inside the TARDIS. Everyone tumbled in after, Jack helping Rose, as they shut the door.

‘Get to the infirmary,’ Brax ordered, and led Koboho to it. Mid-journey, there was a quiet “pft” sound.

‘What was that?’ Koboho asked anxiously, stopping.

‘Planet’s detonated,’ Brax replied. ‘Come on.’

They reached the infirmary, and Koboho carefully placed him on a bed. He felt a bit like an ice centrepiece with everyone looking at him.

‘Get out,’ Rose directed at Koboho. ‘Jack, watch her.’

‘On it,’ he affirmed, glaring at the judoon. 

‘No, Jack, Rose …’ the Doctor said, but no one was listening to him as Koboho was practically frogmarched out the door by Jack.

Brax checked his pupils, hearts rate and breathing. ‘You’re a bit slow but that’s okay,’ he said. ‘Hearts are adequate. Rose, get the wet clothes off,’ he ordered, disappearing into the supply cupboard.

* * *

A few hours later, and his core temperature was back to normal. He’d discharged himself from the infirmary despite Brax’s protests, and went straight to his and Rose’s room. He had a shower to shift the layer of grime he’d built up and had his first shave in two weeks. It allowed him some time to think about what had happened.

On his return, Brax seemed normal. Not particularly malevolent, and not particularly anything else. He seemed perfectly balanced, practical, and fairly emotionless, like he always was. Plus, Brax hated the Master. Why would he ever work with the Master? He wouldn’t. That was the fact check.

As well as being able to speak and the lack of numbness after the Doctor had woken up, he also couldn’t remember getting the usual headache he had with a vision. But all this was besides the point. He didn’t even have the lergri in him anymore. He wasn’t supposed to be having visions.

Maybe it hadn’t been a vision. Maybe it had been a  _ complete nightmare. _

That would make far more sense, he reasoned to himself. He’d been in a lot of pain and a lot of trouble, and his brain had conjured up something to match it. It couldn’t have been a slice of the future. It just didn’t make sense.

Despite reasoning this to himself, he couldn’t help but acknowledge his previous qualms about Brax’s behaviour of late. He considered discussing this with Rose and Jack. They’d probably tell him it was a ridiculous nightmare, and it probably was. There was no point. He’d forget about it as best he could.

With his plan of action decided, he finished his shave and walked out of the bathroom to find Rose had left him a set of clothes on the bed. It was one of his old blue suits, with a new pair of stripy maternity support socks. He frowned a little, quite sure that with his baby weight he wasn’t going to fit into the suit.

Still, he tried. To his surprise, and his slight concern, he could fit in it again. He realised then that his two weeks in the wilderness had caused him to lose quite a lot of the weight he’d picked up. Finally content to be back in his preferred outfit, he went to find everyone else.

After finding no one in the kitchen or the living room, he found Leah in her bedroom, playing.

‘Hey,’ he greeted.

‘Daddy!’ she said happily, running forward to hug him.

He grinned, hugging her in return. ‘I missed you.’

'I missed you too!’ she said, not letting go. ‘I was worried loads. Are you okay now?’

'Yep, just need a few days and I'll be back to normal. Well, as normal as can be,’ he said.

'Can I see your transmat thing?’ she asked keenly.

He shrugged, unbuttoned his jacket, and lifted his shirt for her to reveal the wrapping around his belly. He peeled a bit back to show her the partially healed red tear that ran unbroken around his midriff.

'Eww,’ she said, wincing.

'Don’t get caught between two transmats,’ he said seriously. 'It’s not pretty.’

'Eww,’ she repeated, and voluntarily pulled his shirt back down. 'That's disgusting. Don't do that again.’

'I have no plans to,’ the Doctor assured her. 

'Stay here and don't do anything bad to yourself, 'cos I know what you're like,’ his five-year-old ordered him.

He grinned. 'Yes, ma’am.’

‘I'm always telling you this. Why do I have to keep repeating myself to you?’ she asked, her arms akimbo.

‘I don’t know.’

‘It’s ‘cos you never listen, that’s why!’

‘Sorry,’ the Doctor said, hands in the air. 

‘The things I put up with!’ the little girl exclaimed, exasperated. 

He laughed. ‘I hear you solved the Enigma.’

‘Yeah!’ she said happily, and proceeded to tell him all about it. 

He was concerned, to say the least, about how terrifying it had been for her. ‘Are you okay?’ he asked. ‘No nightmares?’

‘No,’ she replied, smiling. ‘It was scary but I’m brave.’

He grinned. ‘Yeah, you are. But tell someone if you get scared. Preferably me.’

‘I will,’ she replied, and pulled out the solved Rubik's Cube from her pocket and gave it to him.

‘Nice,’ he said.

‘Uncle Brax saved it for me,’ she said, beaming. 

He flipped it over in his hands. He was getting a terribly familiar feeling from it, although very, very faint. He held it to his left shoulder, placing it carefully on the vulnerable nerve cluster. Immediately the sensation increased through his time sense.

‘Can you feel that?’ he asked her.

‘Feel what?’

He carefully placed the cube against her left shoulder so she could feel it more clearly too. She shivered a little.

‘What is that?’ she asked.

‘I think there’s something inside,’ he said, trying to prise it open. It wasn’t shifting. Leah watched, fascinated as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his sonic, giving it a quick buzz.

Immediately the sound of the sonic seemed to amplify, shrieking through the brains of the time sensitive gallifreyans. Leah yelped and he cried out, dropping both things in surprise.

‘Ow, my head,’ Leah complained.

‘Agreed,’ he said, a headache now erupting in his skull. He picked up the cube and checked. It had come apart slightly, but not enough to see what it was inside, although the Doctor had a very good idea of what it might be.

‘Is it the Moirai?’ Leah asked, voicing his thoughts.

‘Probably,’ he said, sighing a little. ‘We need to get this out of the Tardis. Where is everyone?’

‘Torchwood,’ she replied.

‘Perfect,’ he said, pocketing the sonic. Brax must have moved the TARDIS. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. ‘You coming?’

‘Are we gonna get food?’ she asked eagerly.

‘Well if they’re not I’ll make them, I’m starving.’

* * *

He and Leah emerged into the console room, and nearly walked into Rose coming the other way. She stopped at the sight of them and smiled.

‘Was just coming to look for you two. And hey, you fit the suit,’ she realised.

‘Not for long, I’m hungry,’ the Doctor replied.

‘Are we getting food?’ the girl asked.

‘Go pester Jack and he’ll get somethin’,’ Rose advised.

‘Okay!’ Leah said happily, and ran out the door.

‘Get me chicken!’ the Doctor yelled after her.

‘Okay!’ she called back, her footsteps fading away.

Rose grinned and waddled over to him for a hug. He embraced her, trying not to crush their son.

‘God, I'm sorry,’ she said seriously, pulling back to look into his eyes.

‘What for?’

'Walkin’ out like that.’

'Like what?’ he asked, genuinely puzzled.

'You know, the day you and Leah went to the Enigma?’

'Oh!’ he realised. 'Don’t worry about it. I'd forgotten.’

She pecked him a kiss, smiling a little. ‘Did Brax check your head for telepathic damage, yet?’

‘No,’ he replied. ‘But whatever happened seems to be wearing off. I haven't heard you in my head for a while. I don't think there's any rush. Besides, I need chicken. Let’s do it tomorrow.’

She kissed him briefly. ‘If you’re sure.’

‘Sure,’ he confirmed. ‘Where’s everyone?’

‘In the staff room,’ she replied, taking his hand and leading him out of the door. They emerged into Torchwood London, finding Martha at a nearby terminal.

She noticed him and smiled. ‘How are you feeling?’

‘Fine,’ he replied. ‘Is the Underground running again?’

She nodded. ‘The fissure sealed itself up when you left. We’re keeping an eye on it. Anyway, come on, Mister, we wanna hear all about what happened to you.’

He let himself be led to the staff room, where everyone had gathered.

‘Theta!’ Brax greeted immediately, standing up. ‘How are you?’

‘Fine,’ he said again, staring momentarily at his brother. He forced his gaze away, instead focusing on the rest of the crowd as Seth got up to meet him.

‘I thought you were a goner,’ the teenager admitted.

‘I’m tough to kill,’ he replied, grinning.

‘You gotta tell us everythin’,’ Mickey said.

The Doctor nodded, and looked around again. ‘Wait … Where’s Koboho?’

‘Cells,’ Brax replied.

The Doctor frowned. ‘No … what? Why?’

‘Why?’ Brax echoed, confused. ‘You know why.’

‘Get her out,’ the Doctor said immediately.

‘Are you joking?’ Jack asked, looking at the others.

'She saved my life.’

'Yeah, to save hers,’ Rose replied shortly. 'Don’t you dare start givin’ her the benefit of the doubt after what she did to you in New Shada.’

'She didn't  _ have _ to save my life,’ he pointed out.

'Of course she did, she's only here ‘cos she was carryin’ you.’

'There was a rocket.’

'What?’ Martha asked.

'On the way back we went past a rocket base and there was one in there.’

'Doesn't mean it worked,’ Jack replied.

'Seems unlikely,’ the Doctor said. 'The planet was evacuating. Anything to take something away would have been primed and ready to go.’

Everyone went a bit silent, before Mickey spoke, 'you think she actually gave up an escape to get you?’

'Yes,’ he replied. 'She came back for me and she didn't have to. She hates me. She could've grabbed the rocket and left me to die. And I would have if she did. She saved my life.’

Everyone stared.

‘Where are the cells?’ the Doctor asked.

‘I’ll take you,’ Martha said, getting up again.

‘Thanks,’ he said, and looked at Jack. Leah was standing next to him, tugging his shirt. ‘Food, Leah’s got my order,’ he stated simply, and left with Martha and Rose.

* * *

Koboho was sitting on a bed in one of the cells, staring at the floor when they arrived. Martha immediately opened the cell door and the Doctor stepped inside.

Koboho looked at him, regarding his appearance. ‘You look better,’ she said.

‘Thank you,’ he replied, nodding. ‘Sorry. I didn’t know they’d locked you in here.’

Koboho sighed heavily. ‘I’m not surprised they did,’ she said. ‘But I’m glad. For the first time in years, I’ve had a chance to think.’

He walked over and took a seat beside her, one hand on his belly which was still twinging from the transmat wound. He heard and felt both Martha and Rose tense a little. ‘Thank you for saving my life. I know you didn’t want to, and you definitely didn’t have to.’

She looked at him. ‘No, you’re wrong. I wanted to.’

‘I’m glad,’ the Doctor replied.

‘Aren’t you gonna say sorry?’ Rose asked the judoon rudely.

‘Rose,’ the Doctor warned.

‘No, she's right,’ Koboho said sadly. ‘What I did to you was horrific. I deserve every charge brought against me. At least I can apologise to you all, now. I'm very sorry for everything I did. I know it means little, but if I could go back and change things, I would. I forgot my code of conduct, I forgot my morals, and I forgot myself. I cared more about my position than anything. For that, I feel nothing but shame. I am so sorry.’ She paused briefly, taking a breath. ‘And I … I wasn't going to let your daughter never see you again,’ she finished in a mumble.

For a moment, there was just silence. 

‘I suppose you will be taking me to the authorities,’ she said. 'Don’t worry. I will not resist.’

The Doctor looked at Martha and Rose, before looking back at the judoon. 'Koboho, go back to Judoonia.’

'I can't,’ she said lowly. 'I told you. I would not be welcome.’

'I’ll get the Neo Proclamation to pardon you,’ the Doctor insisted. 'You need to go back to Judoonia, to whoever you left behind.’

The judoon had tears in her eyes, now. ‘Thank you, Doctor, but I can't. I don't want to. I'd rather go to prison. There is nothing for me on Judoonia anymore.’

The Doctor, Rose, and Martha looked at each other again.

‘Maybe there’s somethin’ else then,’ Rose said, thinking.

‘I’m sure the Neo Proclamation would appreciate some help,’ the Doctor said, nodding. ‘They’re still very low on staff. They’ve got big ambitions but not many hands to realise them.’

Koboho looked at them both, astonished. ‘You’d … help me?’

‘I told you Koboho, the only person you hurt was me, and I forgive you,’ he said firmly. ‘You’re not a bad person and you’re not going to be much use in a prison. You’re smart. You can organise. You can really help the Neo Proclamation out.’

‘And what’s more respectful than a judoon workin’ at the top of the Neo Proclamation?’ Rose added.

Koboho looked as though she were about to cry. ‘I don’t deserve this from you,’ she said.

‘We ruined your life,’ he pointed out, gesturing at himself and Rose. ‘But let bygones be bygones and start again. But if I ever catch you repeating, I’ll come down like a ton of bricks.’

Koboho smiled. ‘It’s a deal, Time Lord.’

He grinned and got up. ‘We’re going to eat, and then I’ll take you to the Neo Proclamation. C’mon.’

With her rhino eyes watering, Koboho nodded. ‘Wait,’ she said. ‘I need to repay you.’

‘You owe me nothing,’ the Doctor insisted. ‘I ruined your life, so now I’m fixing it. No debts for either of us.’

‘Please,’ the judoon said, and reached into her pocket. She pulled out a now overly-familiar blue sphere.

‘No way,’ Rose muttered, staring at it as her hand snapped to her belly.

‘How did you get this?’ the Doctor asked, wide-eyed.

‘I received it as payment,’ she said. ‘I think it’s worth a lot of money to the right buyer, but I’ve never been able to sell it. I’d like you to take it. I don’t want us to be enemies. I want you to have it as a token of our alliance. Please.’

* * *

After dropping Koboho off at the Neo Proclamation, they gathered together all the keys they had into the Torchwood Cardiff vault. They now had five keys in a little nest-shaped pile inside one of the safes.

‘I just don’t get it,’ Jack stated, staring at the pile. ‘How the hell has this happened?’

‘You mean managing to locate the most rare and treasured artefacts in the universe within the space of around three months, without really looking for them?’ the Doctor wondered.

‘Yep,’ Jack replied.

‘I wish I knew,’ the Doctor muttered, scratching his head. ‘I’ve said it before, but it’s like … well, you know.’

‘Destiny,’ Rose finished quietly.

They all looked at each other, for a moment silent.

‘It stops here,’ Brax said firmly. ‘This is very,  _ very  _ dangerous.’

‘Believe me, I tried that before,’ the Doctor said. ‘I destroyed one, and we just ran right into the next one.’

‘Y’know, we’ve only got one left to find,’ Rose pointed out. 

‘Yeah, I’ll probably find it in my sock drawer tomorrow morning,’ the Doctor said, only partially joking.

‘What are we gonna do?’ Jack asked.

The Doctor shrugged. ‘There’s nothing we  _ can  _ do. I can’t have the visions anymore so we’ll never know where the last one is. We’re missing four anyway. Three were stolen and I shot the fourth one.’ He paused, chewing his lip thoughtfully. ‘I think … we should destroy all of them.’

Everyone flinched, and looked at him.

‘But that’s crazy,’ Rose said.

‘Is it?’ the Doctor wondered seriously. ‘If we believe it, we’re only one step away from finding what is supposed to give you immortality and control over the entire universe. I can’t let this happen. Not for us or anyone else. We need to stop this, now.’

After a moment’s silence, everyone nodded.

The Doctor silently closed the door, went to the keypad and set it to incinerate, with a little help from the sonic to boost the temperature. Seconds later he stepped back as they watched white-hot fire licked up from inside the safe through the window. It was so hot that the entire safe began to instantaneously melt, until five seconds later the fire stopped. The lock on the door was gone, so the Doctor tapped it open with the end of his sonic to reveal the inside as a wave of heat washed out into the room.

Nothing but cinders remained.

‘All gallifreyans cover your ears,’ he warned to Brax. Brax obliged as the Doctor stuck a finger in his ear, and Rose obligingly covered his other one. He raised the sonic, pointed it at the cinders, and turned it on.

There was no feedback like before, and he couldn’t feel the weirdness of them anymore. He nodded, satisfied.

There were now only four keys left in the Universe.

He tapped the door closed, and they left.

* * *

‘So the Moirai thing is totally over,’ Rose summed up as they laid in bed together that night.

‘Yeah,’ he replied, staring at the ceiling. ‘I can’t see how anyone’s going to finish it now six of the keys have been destroyed.’

She hummed in agreement. He looked at her lying there on her side, staring at him.

‘What?’ he asked.

‘Go on, admit it,’ she coaxed.

‘Admit what?’

‘You’re kinda sad you destroyed the keys.’

He smirked and turned onto his side to face her in the low light. ‘What makes you think that?’

She grinned in return. ‘C’mon. Somethin’ that’s supposed to be the most biggest and crazy powerful thing in the universe. You  _ really  _ wanted to know where that was goin’, yeah?’

‘Okay, maybe a bit,’ he admitted, resting his head on his hand on the pillow.

‘A lot,’ she corrected.

He just smiled. 

‘D’you  _ really _ think it’s over?’ she wondered.

‘Not really,’ he replied. ‘Like I said. I’ll find the last key in my sock drawer tomorrow morning. We’ll be rulers of the universe by lunchtime.’

She giggled. ‘Lookin’ forward to that.’

‘Nighty night, Queen of the Universe.’

‘Night, King.’


	30. Insanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the birth draws closer and the Doctor’s paranoia increases, he heads out on a Torchwood mission to an abandoned insane asylum.

‘Take an organisin’ breath.’

The Doctor looked at Rose, and raised an eyebrow. ‘Organising?’ 

‘Yeah, organisin’,’ Rose repeated, putting her finger on the word in the book.

‘What’s an “organising breath”?’ he asked seriously.

She thought about that for a moment. ‘Um … deep,’ she decided.

‘How is taking a deep breath organising?’

She shrugged a little. ‘Clears your head, I guess.’

‘Why doesn’t it just say deep, then?’

‘I dunno. Maybe this person found a thesaurus.’

‘Deep isn’t a synonym of organising.’

She sighed. ‘Okay, take a  _ clean  _ breath then.’

‘A “clean” breath?’

‘Yeah. That’s a synonym of organise.’

‘It’s almost worse.’

‘Are we bloody doin’ this or not?’ she asked, becoming increasingly irritated.

‘Okay, okay …’ He resigned and relaxed on the bed, closing his eyes. He took an organising breath. There was a pause.

‘I took an organising breath,’ he reminded her, looking sideward to see her scanning through the book.

‘You made me lose my place,’ she complained. ‘And you’re not s’posed to talk.’

‘Am I going to have to take my organising breath again?’

‘Well yeah now, cos you’re talkin’ so much.’

‘Fine,’ he said, relaxing and closing his eyes again. He took another organising breath.

‘Oh, wait, I think you’re supposed to exhale an organisin’ breath, not inhale it,’ she realised.

He groaned.

‘No wait, I got it,’ she said. ‘Okay, when I say contraction, let out an organisin’ breath, and release all your tension. Then focus, and calmly inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth.’

‘Am I inhaling an organising breath through my nose?’ he wondered idly.

‘Doctor!’ she groaned and slammed the book shut. ‘Look, I know you’re in a pissy today but we’ve only got two weeks left until I drop this baby and we need to practice your breathin’ techniques, so shut the hell up and take a damn organisin’ breath,’ she demanded.

‘Exhale,’ he corrected.

‘I gonna walk out in a minute,’ she warned him, narrowing her eyes. 

‘Sorry, sorry,’ he said, relaxing. ‘Okay, I’m exhaling an organising breath.’

‘Now … contraction!’ she suddenly yelled, and pinched him hard on the arm.

‘Ow!’ he yelped, sitting up and looking at her, utterly discombobulated. ‘What was that for?’

‘You’re still in a contraction!’ she reminded him, and dug her fingernails in.

‘Rose!’ he yelled.

_ ‘Contraction!!!’  _ she screamed, and gave him a Chinese burn.

‘Ahhh!’ he cried out.

_ ‘Contraction!!!’  _ she screamed again and pulled his hair.

‘Rose!!!’ he pleaded, jumping up from the bed to put it between him and her. ‘What are you doing!?’

‘What d’you think I’m doin’? I’m simulating a contraction,’ she said. ‘You’re s’posed to be doin’ your breathin’ exercises.’

‘You don’t have to give me actual  _ pain,  _ you know,’ he complained.

‘Oh, and let’s just hope that Theo doesn’t give you  _ actual  _ pain in two weeks, yeah?’ she pointed out.

He had to concede that one. ‘Okay, you’re right, I’m sorry,’ he said, and got back onto the bed.

‘You gonna do this properly or have I gotta handcuff you?’ she asked seriously.

‘I’ll do it properly,’ he said. ‘Honest.’

‘Okay, so, organisin’ breath …’

She paused, looking at him. He’d done the exhale, but he was completely tense. ‘You’re supposed to relax,’ she told him.

‘Relax? How can I relax when you’re probably about to jab your finger in my eye?’

‘Relax!!!’ she screamed at him.

‘I’m doing it, I’m doing it,’ he said, and repositioned himself.

‘Organisin’ breath … and …  _ contraction!!!’ _

This time she picked up the book and hit his thigh with it, her frustration causing her to deliver quite an impact.

‘Ow!!!’ the Doctor cried.

‘Focus!!!’ she yelled, hitting him again. 

‘Ah!’

‘Calmly inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth!!!’ she screamed and hit him three times in succession.

‘Ow! Ugh! Ah!!!’

‘Or! Gan! Ise! Ing! Breath!’ she yelled, punctuating each syllable with a smack of the book.

'Rose!’ he wailed.

'Inhale! Exhale! Inhale! EXHALE!’

'AH! UGH! AGH! OW!!!’

Finally she pulled away. 'Contraction’s gone. Well done!’

He just looked at her with a pained expression, now holding his leg. 'I don't want this baby anymore,’ he muttered.

‘Guys,’ a voice suddenly said from outside the door. It was Jack. ‘It’s great you two have found a new way to love each other when she’s thirty-eight weeks pregnant, but can you close the door?’ He popped his head around the doorframe, grinning. ‘What the hell are you doing?’ 

‘Breathin’ exercises. Or at least we would be if he wasn’t screamin’ when I pinch him.’

‘You were hitting me with a book!’ the Doctor protested in a high-pitched voice.

‘Why were you …? … Y’know what, never mind,’ Jack said, stopping himself and shaking his head in disbelief. ‘Anyway, I thought Brax made that pill for you so you wouldn't be in pain?’

'Just in case,’ the Doctor said quickly. He wasn't about to admit that, even four weeks after having the nightmare, he was still having some trust issues and he was debating not even taking it. 'It might not work.’

'Ah,’ Jack said. 'Well, speaking of, Brax wants to see you two in the infirmary.’

'But we did the Doctor's brain scan, he's gettin’ better,’ Rose said, puzzled. 

Jack shrugged. ‘I think he wants to show you something.’

* * *

The Doctor walked into the infirmary with Rose and Jack, and nearly froze on the spot at the sight that greeted him.

Brax was standing next to a giant new contraption sitting at the side of the room – a long metal box attached to a complex machine. It was the exact one, the Doctor realised, that he’d had to kick his way out of in his nightmare.

'I made it, just in case,’ Brax announced.

'What is it?’ Rose wondered, waddling up to scrutinise it.

'Lindos machine,’ Brax replied. 'If his brain damage gets worse, at least we have a possible treatment.’

The Doctor could only stare at it, utterly baffled. 

'Thete?’ Brax wondered. 

The Doctor immediately snapped his eyes to his brother and smiled. 'Looks great,’ he said as happily as he could. 'Must've taken you a while.’

'Just the month since you got back,’ Brax replied. 'I hope to never have to use it, but at least we have something.’

The Doctor nodded, stepping up to the tube. He opened the door and checked the inside. No, he wasn’t mistaken. It was the same thing. He recognised the interior very well. Very coffin-like, dark, and metal.

‘How does it work?’ Rose asked, peering inside.

‘It’s a mediation chamber of sorts,’ Brax replied. ‘Once the lindos has been administered, it’s a safe space with regulated air. It tricks the gallifreyan physiology into thinking it's in hibernation, allowing a deeper sleep and a more concentrated healing process.’

‘Nice,’ Jack said. The Doctor contained a shudder, closing the door and turning back to regard the room. It wasn’t just the same machine, it was in  _ exactly  _ the same position as in the nightmare. 

‘Good work,’ he forced out, looking straight into his brother’s eyes. He was trying desperately not to panic. Brax would feel it.

‘But like I said, I hope to not have to use it,’ Brax said. ‘But if you experience another relapse it’s now an option. Like I said, it’s theoretical, so it could be dangerous. It is most definitely a last resort.’

The Doctor persisted with his smile. ‘Thanks, Brax.’

‘No problem,’ Brax replied. 

The Doctor got out of there as quickly as possible without it seeming suspicious.

* * *

Ten hours later, and he'd been recruited into a Torchwood excursion. He was standing inside an old abandoned building in central Wales at midnight, armed with a torch, a communicator, and Rose’s phone. The building itself was questionably unstable as the infrastructure was rotting, and there was already lots of debris over the floor from partially-collapsed walls. There were items from at least one hundred years prior. Even as he stood there, stock-still, something was ominously creaking below his feet.

Jack stepped up next to him. ‘I’m getting a bad feeling about this,’ he admitted.

‘To be honest, it would be strange if you weren’t,’ the Doctor replied, and reached up to his comms device on his ear. ‘Do we have anything on the history of this place yet?’

_ ‘Yeah,’  _ Rose replied.  _ ‘Gwen’s got it all. I think you’re gonna love it.’ _

‘Go on.’

_ ‘It was built in around 1750. It was all fine until one day in 1852 there were local reports of some kinda disturbance, and the next day everyone in the place had vanished. Never came back, and no one knew why. Since then, a few people have gone missin’ when they’ve gone in at night, and apparently locals report hearin’ screams every now and then. The ghost-huntin’ party we’re here for vanished three days ago. Twelve of ‘em. That’s not the best bit though.’ _

‘Can’t wait for the best bit,’ the Doctor said, panning his torch across the walls.

_ ‘This used to be an insane asylum.’ _

The Doctor couldn’t help but smile a little. Jack obviously caught it.

‘Only you,’ he said.

The Doctor looked at him, widening his smile. ‘Come on. That’s a great story.’

Jack rolled his eyes. 

‘Any direction we should be heading?’ the Doctor asked.

_ ‘The scanners aren’t showing anything that interesting to be honest,’  _ Gwen told them.

‘Well, this is going to be a massive waste of time,’ Jack muttered, tentatively stepping forward and peering at some ornament on a table. He looked at the Doctor. ‘I’ll go down, you go up.’

‘Y’know, down is usually where the scary things are,’ the Doctor commented casually. Hospitals gave him the creeps, but abandoned mental hospitals gave him thrills.

Jack rolled his eyes again. 'Fine,’ he said. 'You go down and I'll go up.’

'Thanks, boss,’ the Doctor said with a grin.

* * *

Ten minutes later, the Doctor had found nothing but empty wards and treatment rooms, and his mind was starting to wander. He was struggling to shift all of his thoughts about Brax and the Lindos Machine. Scenarios were running through his mind like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre on repeat.

It was coming to fruition. Things had started to come together. It had some hallmarks of being a vision, but it just wasn’t possible - all logical deduction pointed to it being a very clever nightmare. That wasn’t a silly notion – it wouldn’t be the first time his brain had sabotaged him, after all.

He was beginning to feel a little sick about it. He potentially had a very dangerous man inside the TARDIS, freely wandering around. Leah wouldn’t know what hit her ...

Those were some mental images he could do without.

So instead, he decided to rant to try and distract himself from his own thoughts as he passed each treatment room, describing in detail the hideous therapies that had probably gone on in there, which seemed to get worse and worse with every room. He’d been through the ice baths, restraints and cold shower rooms, and then he came across a chair in mid-air, suspended from the ceiling by ropes.

_ ‘Oh god, what the hell is that?’  _ Rose asked, able to see it through his camera.

‘Rotational therapy,’ the Doctor told her. ‘Known as the swing. You essentially turn it round and round in a circle and let go, so the chair spins. For some reason, they thought maybe if they spun the patient for hours on end then they’d get better. Of course, this all led to vomiting, vertigo, bowel movements, and deep sleep, and wasn’t much help. They were riding on old Roman stories that a near-death experience or a shock might somehow return someone to sanity. Some doctors swore by it though. Invented by Charles Darwin’s grandfather, Erasmus Darwin.’

_ ‘God, scientific knowhow didn’t run in that family, did it?’ _

He grinned. ‘Nah,’ he said, moving onto the next room. This one was some kind of storage area, crossed with a restraint area. He looked at something on one of the shelves which Rose caught.

_ ‘Um, what are they?’ _

The Doctor whipped out his glasses and peered closer. ‘Bits of brains in wax,’ he said.

_ ‘Eww.’ _

He took his glasses back off and looked around the room. There was a table with some straps, and a tranquiliser chair.

_ ‘Did they have mental hospitals on Gallifrey?’  _ Gwen wondered.

'Not really as such,’ the Doctor replied, moving to the table. 'Mental illness usually came hand-in-hand with regeneration problems so it all tended to get lumped into one. Oh, this is taking me back.’

He dared to touch the straps.

_ 'What?’  _ Jack asked.

_ 'He was sectioned once,’  _ Rose told them.

_ 'Just the once?’  _ Jack joked.

‘Hey,’ the Doctor complained, tearing himself away to move back out into the corridor to the next room. He heard the distant chime of a grandfather clock from somewhere nearby to signify it was now 1am. 

_ ‘Doctor, you picture just went out,’  _ Rose said. 

The Doctor pulled out his sonic to buzz his camera. 'Anything?’

_ 'No.’ _

'Doesn't matter,’ the Doctor said. 'It's not like there's anything to see.’

He passed another room. He peeked inside, hoping to find a ghost. There was nothing but moth-eaten chairs and an old dusty, broken piano. He walked forward, intrigued, and hit a few keys. It still worked, bizarrely. 

_ ‘What’s that noise?’  _ Rose asked.

‘I found a piano,’ the Doctor replied, and played some Chopsticks.

Rose laughed.  _ ‘Maybe it’ll summon out all the ghosts.’ _

‘I hope so,’ the Doctor answered seriously. After a minute he stopped, and looked around the room, wondering if they'd appear.

‘Nothing happened,’ he said. 

_ ‘Weird, that,’  _ Rose replied.

He grinned and moved away from the piano, out into the corridor again. ‘Okay, I’m bored,’ he said into the comm. ‘Jack, there's nothing here.’

_ ‘Okay, let's give up,’  _ Jack replied.  _ ‘See you in a minute.’ _

The Doctor headed back to where he’d come from, the floor creaking ominously below his feet. Suddenly the floor groaned loudly and collapsed beneath him. He yelled as he found himself plummeting down through a newly-formed hole, through the floor and landing in a pile of wood, dust, and concrete ten metres below.

_ 'Doctor!’  _ Rose cried down the comm.

He sat up, coughing and pushing away the mess. 'I’m fine, sorry,’ he said. 'Floor just collapsed under me.’

_ 'Are you hurt?’  _ Jack asked.

He briefly checked himself, finding that he was intact. 'Only my pride,’ he replied. He looked up through the hole in the ceiling. The floorboards were absolutely riddled with woodworm and wet rot. 

_ 'Can you get out?’  _ Jack asked.

‘Give me a minute,’ he said, scrabbling for the torch in the low light. To his utter relief he found it and turned it back on to examine the new room. He seemed to be in a stonewall cellar. There was a door on one side, and on the opposite side was a door-shaped opening, with steps leading down into some cascading blackness below. He could smell something very unpleasant wafting out. He recognised that smell. Decaying corpse.

He tried the door, but he couldn’t shift it. The sonic didn’t help. There was something on the other side, he realised.

'I can't get back up through the hole,’ he said. 'The entrance door is blocked on the other side, but there's an opening in the wall with steps going down.’

_ ‘I'm on my way,’  _ Jack said.

_ 'What floor did you fall through?’  _ Rose suddenly asked.

'Well, I thought I was in the basement, so this has got to be the lower basement,’ the Doctor replied. 'Why?’

_ 'We can't find a lower basement on the plans. Maybe you were on the ground floor?’ _

The Doctor frowned. ‘That's not possible.’

_ ‘Let me check the plans again,’  _ Gwen said, and the Doctor heard her run off.

_ ‘Oh, your picture’s back,’  _ Rose said. 

He promptly looked up to the hole, before doing a quick scan of the room.

_ ‘Jack, he’s not got any way out. Hurry up.’ _

_ ‘Going as fast as I can,’  _ he insisted.

The Doctor looked back to the opening in the wall.

_ ‘Don’t even think about it,’  _ Rose warned.

Regardless, he stepped forward and pointed his torch down the stone steps. The light seemed to get swallowed by the unyielding darkness on the way down.

_ ‘Wait for Jack,’  _ she said.

He teetered on the edge of the first step. Then he turned on his toes and walked back across the room, away from it. He dropped to sit down against the wall at the furthest possible point, and looked up at the hole again. Silent seconds passed.

_ ‘Okay, what’s wrong?’  _ she asked suddenly.

‘You mean apart from being stuck in a hole?’

_ ‘Come on. I know you. Something's botherin’ you. Ever since you got back from the Enigma.’ _

'It’s fine, don't worry,’ he said.

_ 'How can you still be keepin’ secrets from me? Don't worry, Gwen's gone and I muted myself to Jack. It's just us.’ _

He sighed. She always knew. ‘It’s not a secret, it's … a problem.’

_ 'Yeah?’ _

‘I've got a problem and I don't know what to do.’

_ 'What’s the problem? You're okay, yeah?’ _

'I’m fine, honest, I'm fine,’ he insisted. 'It’s not that, it's …’ He paused, and then took off his headset with the camera to point it at himself so she could see him. ‘I need to know that you trust me first.’

_ ‘Of course I do.’ _

‘Anything I say, no matter how mad, you'll believe me, won't you?’

_ ‘You told me a small blue box could travel in time and space. I believed you then,’  _ she pointed out.

‘Good point,’ he said, smiling a little.

_ ‘What's this about?’ _

He paused again. He wanted to say it. I don’t think Brax is who he says he is. I think Brax is going to try and kill me.

He couldn't quite seem to get it out. 

The pause had been quite long, he realised.

_ ‘You're worryin’ me now,’  _ she said.

He bit his lip, and sat up. ‘Stay away from Brax.’

There was a pause.  _ ‘What?’ _

‘I just don’t want you near him anymore,’ he said seriously. ‘Not you, not the kids.’

_ ‘Why not?’ _

‘I don’t trust him.’

_ ‘You gotta help me out, here,’  _ Rose said, clearly confused. 

He swallowed, hand on his head. ‘I need to talk to you and Jack, somewhere we can’t be overheard.’

_ ‘Just tell me what’s –’ _

‘Doctor!’ Jack’s voice suddenly called.

The Doctor grimaced at Rose through the camera, and then slipped the headset back on his head. ‘Down here!’ he called up. He heard footsteps approaching him. ‘Watch out for the –’

Suddenly there was a loud ripping sound, and half a second later Jack landed in a fresh pile of debris directly in front of the Time Lord.

‘... Hole,’ the Doctor finished lamely.

‘Ow,’ Jack muttered, rubbing his head.

_ ‘Did you just fall in?’  _ Rose asked disbelievingly.

‘Maybe,’ Jack replied somewhat coyly, accepting the Doctor’s hand up.

_ ‘Jack, your picture’s gone,’  _ Rose told him. 

_ ‘Are they both stuck, now?’  _ Gwen asked.

_ ‘Yeah,’  _ Rose replied.

_ ‘No way out?’ _

_ ‘You idiots,’  _ Rose rebuked.

‘Well,’ the Doctor began, panning the room once more, ‘no way out, and the only way is down. We can’t get out.’

_ ‘We’re gonna have to drive there. Cardiff to Gaerwen, that’s a four hour trip,’  _ Gwen said.

Rose groaned.

_ ‘I’ll go. You stay here, Rose,’  _ Gwen said.

_ ‘Okay,’  _ she said.

‘Get some sleep,’ the Doctor said. ‘You need it.’

_ ‘I will in a bit,’  _ she said. 

_ ‘I’ll start heading to you, then,’  _ Gwen said.  _ ‘Be there in about four hours.’ _

‘Thanks,’ the Doctor said, and they heard her leave.

There was a slight pause before Rose spoke,  _ ‘okay, no one’s here but us, Doctor.’ _

Jack looked at him, confused. 

'This channel’s secure?’ the Doctor asked.

_ 'Yeah.’ _

‘What's going on?’ Jack asked.

The Doctor took a deep breath, and then told them about his nightmare. By the end of it, Jack was staring at him, his jaw agape.

'What do you think?’ the Doctor pushed. 

_ ‘It’s gotta be fake,’  _ Rose finally said. _ ‘Brax and the Master working together? I mean, that’s insane.’ _

‘Is it, though?’ the Doctor asked seriously. ‘He’s been off for a while … what if that’s … not him?’

_ ‘You’d know,’ _ Rose said. _ ‘You’d feel it.’ _

‘I told you, I haven’t felt much from him in months,’ the Doctor pointed out. ‘He’s just been … average. Despite everything that’s happened, he … he doesn’t change.’

‘Did you get your headache you normally get? What about speaking? Could you speak? Or move?’ Jack asked.

‘Yes,’ the Doctor admitted. ‘I was fine.’

'The lergri’s out of you and you can’t have the visions anymore. So it can’t be a vision,’ Jack reasoned.

_ ‘It’s rubbish,’ _ Rose agreed.  _ ‘Just a nightmare, yeah?’ _

‘It was so, so clear. Nothing about it’s faded,’ the Doctor said. ‘Every detail. I was there. I can smell it, hear it, see it, and feel it.’

‘Then it’s a really good nightmare,’ Jack insisted. 

‘Then why can’t I stop thinking about it?’ the Time Lord asked seriously, hand running through his hair. 'I just can't shake it. I’ve been trying, but … it’s sticking. Like all the other visions I’ve had. I can't forget it.’

‘It sounds pretty hard to forget,’ Jack replied.

'But the Lindos Machine. How could I have dreamt about that before I even knew what one looked like?’ the Doctor maintained. 

'Isn’t that a standard Time Lord thing?’ Jack asked.

'I've never heard of a Lindos Machine,’ the Doctor said. 'The theory sounds plausible but I've just never heard of it before he talked about it.’

_ ‘You think the machine’s dodgy?’  _ Rose asked.

'All I'm saying is that I'm fully qualified in gallifreyan biology and I've never heard of it.’

_ ‘You didn't know about template regeneration either,’  _ Rose pointed out.

‘No, I didn't,’ the Doctor agreed. He looked at Jack seriously. ‘Am I being paranoid?’

_ ‘You're bein’ cautious,’ _ Rose said.

‘Nothing wrong with that,’ Jack added. 

‘This is what I was scared of. I was so terrified that with all these visions, at one point … I’d start losing track of reality. I feel like …’ he paused, glancing at Jack, ‘I feel like I’m going insane.’ The pause after that was excruciating, so he gestured at their current surroundings for a joke, ‘no pun intended.’

Jack frowned, gazing at him. ‘Okay. We’ll watch him. Anything suspicious, we’ll report to you.’

_ ‘We will, but there’s nothin’ to see,’  _ Rose told him firmly.

The Doctor sighed, running a hand through his hair. ‘I really hope you’re right. Because I think he was trying to kill me.’

There was a pause as Jack and Rose both took that in. Neither of them seemed to have any words to say to that.

'Rose, get some sleep,’ he told her, breaking through the silence.

_ 'Yeah, I will,’  _ she finally replied, her voice wavering slightly.  _ 'See you in a few hours, yeah? Please wake me up when you get back.’ _

'I will,’ he agreed. 'Nighty night.’

_ 'Night,’  _ she said, and left.

The comm went dead. The Doctor pulled off his headset and dropped it on the ground. Jack followed suit.

‘... You really think Brax is gonna try and kill you?’ Jack asked.

'I don't know,’ the Doctor said, sighing. 'But like you say. The lergri in me has gone, so how can it be a vision? But how can I have seen the Lindos Machine if it wasn’t a vision?’

Jack nodded. Silence fell on them, sitting there next to the pile of debris in the dark. The Doctor shot a look at Jack, and then panned his torch to the opening in the wall. ‘Well, we can either sit here, or …’

He trailed off, hopeful.

Jack grinned a little. ‘I guess we’re heading down.’


	31. I’m Going Under

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Jack head down into the pits of the insane asylum, before the Doctor discovers the inevitability of what’s about to happen.

The stench of decaying corpse was gradually becoming more and more potent as they descended the steps into what felt like the bowels of Hell itself. Jack’s human nose hadn’t picked up on it yet, but it soon would. 

They’d been going down the spiral steps for at least ten minutes. The walls were becoming dirtier, the steps more slippery, and impossibly it was becoming darker. The torches could only light a few steps ahead of them.

‘You didn’t seem surprised,’ the Doctor said suddenly as they continued down.

‘What?’ Jack asked.

‘When I said about Brax. You weren’t surprised.’

‘Of course I was,’ Jack said.

‘You didn’t show it.’

There was a pause. The Doctor stopped, and turned back to look at him. ‘Jack?’

‘Forget it,’ Jack said, gesturing for the Doctor to continue walking. The Doctor didn’t move.

‘Jack, tell me.’

‘Honestly, forget it,’ Jack insisted.

‘Jack,’ the Doctor said firmly, staring at him.

Jack sighed. ‘Look, he’s done some things that have been pretty questionable, that’s all.’

‘When?’

‘It doesn’t matter.’

‘Yes, it does,’ the Doctor said.

‘... You remember when we got you out of Volag-noc and we were on that ship to the Proclamation? When the Master attacked you and Brax dragged him away?’

‘Yeah?’

‘He took him to an airlock and locked him in, then took out all the air for twelve hours, upped the temperature, opened the outer door a bit, and increased the pressure.’

The Doctor raised an eyebrow.

‘Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t really try and stop it. But the way Brax did it … it was really cold. He basically tortured him, Doctor. I can reason that, we were both really angry and he’s got a history … But then there was when we went to Sirrus. Just before we left, he dragged me into the tech lab and tried to get me to put a vit chip on you.’

The Doctor’s eyes widened.

‘He wanted to put on you what owners put on their slaves,’ Jack clarified. ‘I said no, I got angry. He asked me not to tell you.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah. I figured it was just Brax being Brax,’ Jack said. ‘That doesn’t sound like him?’

The Doctor sighed, leaning against the wall and looking up. ‘I … don’t know him very well. I don’t even know if that’s like him.’

‘Yeah, he said something like that too,’ Jack said.

‘What?’

‘He told me that he made a promise to your mother you always look out for you, but he failed that, and now you don’t need him anymore. He said that me and Rose knew you and you knew us better than you knew each other … if that makes sense.’

‘Yes, it does,’ the Doctor said, biting his lip a little. 

‘So basically, we’ve got a complete stranger running around our friends and kids, who might actually be a bad person, but we don’t know at all if that’s just what he’s like?’ Jack wondered.

‘That’s about the summary of it,’ the Doctor said, pained.

‘Jesus,’ Jack muttered.

The Doctor started walking again. ‘C’mon.’

Without another word, they headed down a little more. 

‘This is ridiculous,’ the Doctor said after another two minutes. ‘We’ve been walking for at least fifteen minutes. This has more steps than the Cavern Club.’

Jack laughed and was about to make another joke in response, when he stopped. ‘What’s that smell?’

‘You’ll know it in a minute.’

Jack purposely took a big sniff, and nearly choked on it. ‘Oh, rotting corpse,’ he realised after a small coughing fit.

‘Yep,’ the Doctor replied, popping the ‘p’. 

He covered his nose and mouth with his arm sleeve. ‘God, I hate that smell. That means there’s corpses down here, Doc.’

‘Yeah, figured that out,’ the Doctor assured him. ‘But hey, the good news is that they’re rotting, which means they died a while ago. Which means if they were killed by something, then it might be long gone.’

‘Well, that’s reassuring,’ Jack replied through his sleeve.

They descended some more.

‘This can’t be made by humans,’ Jack said after another few minutes. ‘We must be half a mile down.’

‘Seven hundred metres,’ the Doctor told him.

‘Why is every time I’m with you we end up in this situation?’

The Doctor smirked a little. ‘You’re wrong.’

‘Huh?’

‘It  _ is _ manmade,’ the Doctor clarified, gesturing to the walls. ‘Pickaxe marks, look.’

‘But they were Victorians,’ Jack pointed out. ‘How exactly could they do this?’

‘With roughly one hundred and two years and thousands of obedient mental patients with little else to do,’ the Doctor replied.

‘Wait … you’re telling me this mental asylum actually used its patients to dig a massive hole for a hundred years? What for? What's at the end?’

‘Maybe it's some kind of plague pit,’ the Doctor suggested. ‘Or it was just for hard labour. Maybe it was a huge error. Maybe it's a secure containment facility for something really, really dangerous. I have no idea. I  _ love  _ having no idea. Isn't it great?’

Jack could only see the back of his head, but he knew the Time Lord was grinning. ‘Sure,’ he replied. ‘God, this smell’s getting worse.’

‘Help!’

The Doctor and Jack both froze on the spot, and looked at each other. That had been a woman's voice, coming from somewhere below. A desperate, raw plea …

‘P-please! Are y-you up there? P-please help me, p-please!’

The Doctor started bounding down the steps three at a time. 'Hello?’

'Yes, yes, oh my f-fucking god, oh g-god, please, p-please get me out of here, please!’

'Don’t worry, we're coming!’ Jack called back, following the Doctor’s trail hastily until the Time Lord stopped, his torch directly cast downwards. There was a woman, possibly mid-twenties, although it was hard to tell - she was absolutely covered in blood. She was staring up at them from where she lay on the spiral steps, crying and shaking, clearly in a lot of pain. She was staring at the Doctor as though he were an angel.

'Thank you, thank y-you, oh g-god,’ she gasped, crying and gasping.

The Doctor stooped to her, pulling out his medical kit. 'It’s okay, what's your name?’

'K-Kris,’ she replied, shaking. 'Please, you g-gotta get me out, p-please …’

‘We will, I promise, Kris,’ the Doctor said quickly. ‘Jack, I need some light.’

Jack obediently directed his torch to where the Doctor was indicating, giving him the chance to take in her appearance. Her face was cut deeply and hugely swollen on the right-hand side, her abdomen was nearly torn apart to the degree that he was sure if he looked hard enough he’d see internal organs, and her hand didn’t look like a hand anymore. She looked like a B-movie horror victim who’d just escaped a psycho killer’s lair.

‘N-no, no, no, it’s c-coming, please,  _ please …’  _ she begged, sobbing.

‘What’s coming?’ the Doctor asked.

‘The  _ thing …  _ it’s coming, p-please,  _ please,  _ I don’t wanna die!’ 

The terror in her voice was chilling Jack a little. ‘What thing?’ he asked.

‘G-get me out!’ she cried.

‘Jack, check,’ the Doctor ordered, putting his torch between his teeth as he continued the medical work. Jack nodded, pulled out his gun, and maneuvered past them to keep descending the stairs, following the trail of Kris’ blood.

* * *

‘You were with the ghost hunting team, Kris?’ the Doctor asked, trying to keep the woman conscious. He’d been working to stop the blood flow, but it appeared to be coming out on a tap, and none of the coagulants he had seemed to be powerful enough. Half of her face had been slashed away, including an eye, her digestive system was nearly hanging out, and her right hand looked like it had somehow exploded. He’d never seen anything like it outside of a battlefield. His painkiller at least seemed to have partially worked.

‘Please, please, get me away, I don’t wanna die …’ she gasped.

‘You’re not going to, promise,’ the Doctor said. ‘Everything’s going to be fine. Trust me, okay?’

Her tears didn’t stop coming.

‘You were with the ghost hunting team?’ he asked again.

‘Yeah … they’re dead, oh god, they’re all dead,’ she gasped.

‘What happened?’

‘That thing, it killed them, it ripped them all apart …’

‘What did it look like?’

‘I can’t even … oh god,’ she screeched through the pain, before gasping back more tears, ‘get me out, get me out … please, I’m begging you, please …’

Suddenly there was a gunshot from down below. 

‘NO!’ Kris howled desperately, ‘it’s coming, it’s coming!’

Alarmed, the Doctor stood up. ‘Jack!’ he called, but there was no reply. ‘Jack!’ he tried again. Nothing. 

He waited, listening. 

‘Mummy?’ a child's voice suddenly called from down the steps.

The Doctor blinked, startled. There was a kid down there …

'I promise I'll be back,’ he said to Kris. She cried out, begging him not to, but he left anyway, heading down the steps.

He was cautious, but quick. Soon he had no need of the torch, as there was a green light emanating up the walls that grew more bright the deeper he went. The smell of death was increasing rapidly too.

Finally the steps seemed to abruptly stop with a metre drop as it opened out into a mud cave of sorts. Bodies littered the floor, and he found the green light was emanating from some sort of cocoon in the middle of the room, with branches intertwining around some green skin-like facade. He paused, gazing at it. He’d come across a lot of species that did this, but nothing that was also carnivorous.

He cautiously dropped down the final step, scouring the floor for Jack. He spotted him lying covered in blood on the ground, clearly dead from some quite horrific wounds to his head.

He edged to the doorframe, as quiet as he could be. The corpses were in various states of decay - from skeletons to the freshly dead, including around eleven men and women who he could only presume to be the ghost hunting team.

He searched further for the child, but he couldn’t seem to see anything.

He dared to inch forward some more.

Suddenly there was a screech and the cocoon burst open. The Doctor didn’t even have time to see what it was before it pounced on him, sending him crashing to the ground with a yelp of surprise. He looked up to see what seemed like the face of Hell itself - a luminous green emaciated demon-like creature with rake-like claws, black eyes, and sharp teeth, screaming at him.

It raised its claw, ready to rip away his face.

‘Stop!’ he cried.

The creature suddenly shrieked and seemed to jump off of him, as though it had been scalded. He jumped up as fast as he could and backed away, but quickly realised it wasn’t coming after him. It was staring at him - the Doctor would almost say it looked shocked.

_ ‘Another time creature!?’  _ a voice suddenly came into his head, full of surprise and confusion, speaking in a language of the Choor’nax cluster.

He blinked, startled.

_ ‘Answer me!’  _ it cried desperately.

He frowned. This creature was using middle active telepathy. He wasn't supposed to be able to hear it, much less be able to reply.

A sudden gasp indicated Jack was reviving. The Doctor looked over, and saw the immortal’s head knitting back together before he opened his eyes, sitting up, taking in his obligatory huge breath. He saw the Doctor, looked relieved, then saw the creature, and started to panic, reaching for his gun. In turn the creature reared up, ready to strike ...

‘Wait!’ the Doctor cried quickly, throwing himself between them.

Jack stopped. He looked at the creature again, and then at the Doctor. ‘Doc, get out of the way!’

‘No!’ the Doctor said quickly, throwing his arms up. ‘Jack, it’s telepathic and time sensitive!’

Jack slowly stood up, lowering his gun. The Doctor turned back to the creature.

_ ‘My name’s the Doctor,’  _ he told it in its language.  _ ‘What’s yours?’ _

The creature looked so relieved.  _ ‘I am Juzz’ar’o. I’m sorry, I thought you were human.’ _

The apology surprised him.  _ ‘You’ve killed a lot of people.’ _

_ ‘I had to.’ _

The Doctor paused.  _ ‘I think you’d better tell me what’s been going on here.’ _

_ ‘They came to kill us,’  _ Juzz’ar’o said,  _ ‘they came to kill my children.’ _

_ ‘How long have you been down here?’ _

_ ‘We’ve lived here for a thousand years, and then the humans found us. I had to protect us.’ _

_ ‘This is your home?’ _

_ ‘Yes.’ _

‘Doctor, what’s going on?’ Jack asked.

‘This is their home,’ the Doctor said to him, gesturing around before looking back at Juzz’ar’o.  _ ‘Start from the beginning, and then I'll sort this out.' _

* * *

‘Without the telepathic damage I wouldn’t have been able to communicate,’ the Doctor told everyone in Torchwood six hours later. Kris had been taken to hospital, they destroyed the steps going down to the nest and the building had been proposed for demolition. Driving back down to Cardiff with Juzz’ar’o and her children in the SUV had been rather bizarre, but they’d made it without too many looks from motorists. ‘Kind of lucky, really.’

‘So it was time sensitive, like you?’ Ianto asked, confused.

‘Yes,’ the Doctor replied. ‘It was a krozoid. Specifically, they have a really astute perception on looking at individual timelines. Their ancestors came here a thousand years ago and built a nest. She was just trying to protect her young. Seems as though the day everyone disappeared in the insane asylum was that day they found the nest due to their digging. Her grandfather killed them all. Since then, people have been finding the nest, and they kept killing them through the generations to protect their family.’

‘Why were those victorians diggin’ anyway?’ Rose asked, confused. ‘Why would they do that?’

‘No idea,’ the Doctor replied, running a hand through his head. ‘I guess we’ll never know. Maybe it was a form of hard labour, but maybe not. But it’s gone now. We destroyed the steps and the nest, and Juzz’ar’o and her children have chosen to go back to their home planet.’

Just as he finished, Juzz’ar’o came in. The sight of the demon-like, terrifying creature still made a couple of Torchwood flinch a little.

_ ‘We’re prepared to go, Doctor,’  _ Juzz’ar’o said.

The Doctor nodded.  _ ‘Be there in a minute.’ _

She bowed courteously, and left. 

‘I heard that,’ Rose said, confused. ‘I heard your telepathy.’

The Doctor frowned. He looked at her.  _ ‘Can you hear me now?’ _

‘Yeah,’ she replied.

‘Can you reply telepathically?’ he asked.

There was a brief moment of silence.

‘No, then?’ he assumed.

‘That’s weird, why’s that happenin’?’ Rose wondered. ‘I can’t hear your thoughts but I can hear your telepathy.’

He shrugged. ‘Telepathic damage. Unpredictable.’

He was relieved when neither Jack nor Rose suggested he talked to Brax.

* * *

Jack and Rose joined him to take Juzz’ar’o to the Krozoid’s home planet. It was a little reassuring how such a terrifying-looking creature that was so capable of shredding humans apart was just as strict on her children as humans of theirs, who’d been running around the console room until she’d screeched at them to be respectful of the Doctor’s home.

‘We’ve landed,’ the Doctor said after the usual white knuckle ride. 

_ ‘Can we go out?’  _ one of the children asked eagerly.

_ ‘Yes, but don’t go too far,’  _ Juzz’ar’o replied. All five of them immediately made for the door.  _ ‘I’m watching you!!!’  _ she shouted as they disappeared.

She smiled, and turned to the Doctor.  _ ‘Thank you, Doctor. Perhaps we’ll be able to find our family.’ _

_ ‘You’re welcome,’  _ he replied with a mock salute.

_ ‘Please, allow me the honour of reading your timeline, to thank you for what you’ve done for us,’  _ Juzz’ar’o said.

The Doctor hesitated. He didn’t like it, but to refuse it would be grossly insulting to her, so he nodded.

She stepped forward, and placed a single claw in the middle of his forehead.  _ ‘Oh, your timeline is so warm,’  _ she said, smiling.  _ ‘You will have a healthy boy, who will grow to be smart and strong. I see much love and care in your future.’  _ She paused, her face suddenly dropping.  _ ‘It’s becoming hotter. Oh no. I can see strife and struggle. A fight. A horrible fight at the end of the Universe.’  _ She then looked at him, horrified.  _ ‘No … The one that seeks to destroy you has fashioned a destructive two man army … They will come for you and those you love. You will be betrayed …’  _ She suddenly gasped and drew back, horrified.  _ ‘Oh, Time Lord,’  _ she said,  _ ‘your timeline burns.’ _

The Doctor’s jaw tightened.  _ ‘Who’s going to betray me?’ _

_ ‘I shouldn’t say,’  _ Juzz’ar’o said.

_ ‘Please, I need to know.’ _

Juzz’ar’o paused for a moment, looking nervous.  _ ‘It is not our custom to reveal such information,’  _ she said,  _ ‘but for you …’ _

She braced herself, and pressed a claw in the middle of his forehead again.  _ ‘Do not trust his word. The one you call … Irving.’ _

The Doctor drew a sharp intake of breath, his eyes shooting open. He felt like he’d just been stabbed.

Juzz’ar’o drew back, her eyes shining.  _ ‘I must go,’  _ she said.  _ ‘Thank you for everything.’ _

And just like that, she stepped out of the TARDIS doors, and she was gone, screaming after her scattered children.

‘Who’s Irving?’ Rose asked, confused.

‘Irving. Irving Braxiatel,’ the Doctor said, feeling numb. Rose gasped, a hand to her mouth.

‘What just happened?’ Jack asked.

‘Brax is going to betray me,’ the Doctor said, looking at them both. ‘Everything … everything’s true. I think he’s going to try and kill me.’


	32. Nemesis: Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor decides to take drastic action.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take a deep breath ...

The Doctor retreated alone to the botanical gardens. He needed some time to think, and Jack and Rose understood that perfectly. He took the trunkike Brax had gifted from Leah’s room, and took a seat by the river. He slipped off his shoes and dangled his feet in the water, just holding the trunkike in both hands and gazing hard at it.

He barely knew where to begin.

He dropped to lie on the grass, turned his head and placed the trunkike in his vision. ‘You’re going to try and hurt me, maybe kill me, and I don’t know why.’

The trunkike of course, said nothing, but the silence was eerily representative of Braxiatel himself.

Juzz’ar’o hadn’t been lying, so that meant that logically the vision was about to be realised. But how had he had a vision without the lergri being inside him?

He raised his left hand and stared at it. No scar. Not even the hint of a scar. He’d scanned himself - nothing was inside him. Then again, he pondered, who had told him he had a lergri in him to start with? Braxiatel had. He’d been the one to scan him and tell him that the lergri was in him.

His eyes shot open as he had a disastrous thought. 

‘What if you were lying to me?’ he asked the trunkike. ‘What if, all this time, you were making it up? Maybe I never had a lergri in me. Maybe it was something else. That’s why I never found it in the scan when I got back from the future. Maybe it was something you didn’t want me to know about, and now it’s too late for me.’

When had Brax stopped being Brax? Had he  _ ever  _ been Brax?

Either way, this was a lot bigger than just Brax. The Master was involved, and they were working together. The two-man army Juzz’ar’o had described were surely Brax and the Master. The one leading them could be any one of his enemies - after all, he had about ten thousand people who would seek to destroy him, as she’d said.

But if Brax and the Master were working for someone, what did they get out of it? The Master was only ever in anything for himself, and Braxiatel, up until this point, had been pretty trustworthy and somewhat over-protective. Jack’s story about the vitchip and Brax torturing the Master only reinforced that idea.

What exactly were they after? Maybe they wanted his remaining regenerations. Maybe they wanted the TARDIS. Maybe they knew he’d take them to the final key of the Moirai.

None of those really made much sense when he considered everything he knew about the Master and Brax as people, and all the opportunities they’d had in the past to take those things.

Whatever the reasons, the reality was this was probably the most dangerous situation he’d ever faced. Brax and the Master were both extremely clever, manipulative, and dangerous full-blood gallifreyan Time Lords. Dealing with one rogue Time Lord was problem enough, but two? 

This was a fight he didn’t think he could win.

They knew where to hit him where it hurt. All of his family and friends were in serious danger. An unfortunate advantage was that being a Time Lord and a gallifreyan and knowing them so well, the Doctor knew  _ exactly  _ what Brax and the Master could do to the people he cared about the most. He’d done those things himself to people in the Time War. Things he felt dirty and repulsed just thinking about. Things he’d never forgiven himself for. Things that belonged in the very pits of Hell.

What the Master and Brax could do to his unborn son without  _ actually  _ killing him …

He stopped that train of thought immediately. 

He decided then that he had two objectives. One - don’t die. Two - don’t let Brax or the Master have a chance to touch anyone but him.

He had to fight with absolutely everything he had against them.

He had to make a plan. A plan so well thought out that it accounted for every eventuality Brax and the Master could throw at him. From the vision he knew how it all started, so he could work with that. He could fashion events to his advantage. He couldn’t stop the vision, but clearly all the signs in the infirmary and Jack’s gun in the closet meant that he’d already planned the vision to work to his advantage. He had the benefit of knowing he would end up in the supply closet with a loaded gun, with the Master and Brax finding him. All he had to do was work from that point. 

He picked up the trunkike again, holding it above him. For a moment he just stared at it, listening to the rushing water and the birdsong.

‘I don’t want to kill you, Brax,’ he told the trunkike. ‘But I’m starting to think I don’t have a choice.’

He wondered briefly if he could actually do that. Could he kill his brother? Could he just throw everything he’d made so crucial to himself away? He'd tried so hard and come so far to redeem himself for his past mistakes … Was it really about to go down the pan for the sake of stopping his brother?

He couldn’t answer that right now.

He dropped the trunkike again, laid back with his head on his hands, closed his eyes, and started to think.

* * *

He was in the same position when Rose and Jack came to find him six hours later. He opened his eyes when he heard their footsteps, and a second later they both popped into his vision.

‘Sorry,’ Rose said. ‘We didn’t wanna interrupt but we wanted to check you were okay.’

‘It’s fine, I’m done,’ he assured them. Rose used his shoulder to sit down next to him, whilst Jack sat on his other side.

‘So what’s the conclusion?’ Rose asked.

‘I know what to do. I’ve got a plan.’

‘Please say it’s a good one,’ Jack begged.

‘It’s all I’ve got,’ the Doctor said. 

‘That’s not reassuring,’ Jack pointed out.

The Doctor shrugged. ‘Sorry. But I need you two to do some things for me.’

‘Anythin’,’ Rose said.

‘Once you’ve done what you need to, get out. Take everyone, and run and hide.’

‘I can't leave you,’ Rose said immediately.

‘Please promise me. I want you and Theo and Leah a million miles away. Please.’

‘But …’

'I can be played when you're in danger, and the Master and Brax both know that. They'll come for you and use you against me. They  _ will  _ find you, but hiding from them might delay them enough. Please promise me you'll do everything you can to hide. What they’re capable of scares me. This isn’t like anything we’ve faced before.’

Rose gazed at him for a moment. ‘Okay,’ she finally said. ‘I promise.’

He nodded and looked at Jack. 

‘Jack, I’m trusting you to get everyone away from here, and keep them protected.’

Jack shook his head. ‘You're gonna need me …’

‘This is my problem,’ the Doctor interrupted. ‘I need to concentrate, and I can’t do that when I’m worrying about everyone else.’

‘Your problems are my problems, you know that,’ Jack insisted. 

‘Jack, this is seriously dangerous. We’re going to have two rogue Time Lords running around without a care for anyone. I need as much distance and as many barriers between them and the people that matter to me as possible.’

‘Then I’ll get everyone somewhere safe and secure and come back for you,’ Jack said firmly.

‘No,’ the Doctor stressed, his face entirely serious. ‘Please, Jack.’

‘I can’t just leave you to them.’

The Doctor rested his hands on Jack’s shoulders, gazing unblinkingly into his eyes. ‘Jack, you’ve been a crucial part of my life for so many years. You’ve saved me so many times in so many ways. I’m  _ so  _ grateful for everything you’ve done, and just how loyal you’ve been. You’ve saved my relationship with Rose so many times; you’ve protected and guided Leah like your own daughter; you’ve been everything you can be. I owe you so much. I know it’s ridiculous for me to ask after everything you’ve already done, but I need you to do this. I need you to protect my family and my friends. I’m begging you. Please.’

Jack swallowed. ‘Okay.’

‘But once we’re gone … What happens to you then?’ Rose asked quietly.

The Doctor pulled a face, intaking a breath sharply. ‘Then … Well, I’m on my own against two Time Lords.’

They all looked at each other. 

‘You're shakin’,’ Rose said.

‘I'm trying to pretend I’m not terrified,’ the Doctor admitted.

‘We've got this,’ Jack assured him. ‘When are you gonna start this?'

‘Tomorrow. I don't want Theo to be born into this mess.’

Jack instigated a three-way hug. 'We’ll do exactly what you say. We'll get through this, like we have everything else.’

'Thank you,’ the Doctor said quietly, looking at them both. ‘Thank you for everything. Here’s the plan.’

* * *

The Doctor woke up the next morning long before Rose. He had a shower and a shave, did his hair just the way he liked it, and got dressed into his favourite suit. He was just adjusting his tie in the mirror, when Rose woke up.

‘What’s the time?’ she asked.

‘Half eight,’ the Doctor replied, turning back to her.

She regarded him, perfectly presented, in his best battle armour like he was ready to go to war. She sat up, a hand over her face.

‘Hey,’ he said, moving over to sit on the bed beside her. ‘Don’t do that.’

’This is really happenin’, isn’t it?,’ she told him, sniffing back tears. 

‘Yeah. Sorry.’

‘I … I don’t want this.’

‘There’s no choice,’ he replied, putting his arm around her.

‘I know, but … oh god,’ she muttered, and began to cry. He wrapped both arms around her shoulders, embracing her tightly. ‘I know we’ve been in this kind of situation loads of times, but this feels worse. Like it’s final. Like this is it. You're the most scared I've ever seen you,’ she said quietly over his shoulder.

He paused for a moment. ‘You know me, and you know that yes, maybe a few years ago I wasn't afraid of dying. But now it's changed. I want to live. I've got three very good reasons to live. So I'm going to do everything I can to stay right here with you, Leah, and Theo. Whatever it takes. Yes, I'm scared, but that's healthy in this situation, because this entire situation  _ is  _ terrifying. But I’m ready. ’

She swallowed nervously. ‘Okay,’ she said, kissing him. ‘When are you gonna start the plan?'

‘I’m going to talk to Leah, and then once we’re out in Torchwood we’ll start.’

* * *

He went to Leah. The girl was asleep in her bed, cuddling up to her toy rabbit, Floppy. She roused when he entered, looking up at him with bleary eyes.

‘Daddy?’ she asked, yawning.

‘Hey,’ he said, taking a seat on the bed next to her. ‘Sorry. Didn't mean to wake you up.’

‘What’s happening?’ she asked.

‘It’s all a bit of a mess,’ he confessed. ‘But I’ve got something to sort, and I need you to help me out.’

She sat up a little. ‘What?’ 

‘Today, I want you to stay in your room with the locks active until Uncle Jack comes to get you. No one else. Just him. Don’t open the door for anyone but Uncle Jack. Not me, or Mum, or Auntie Gwen, or Uncle Brax … Nobody but Jack.’

‘Um, why?’

‘It’s complicated,’ he said. ‘But when Jack comes, unlock the door, take a bag with you full of things you don’t want to leave behind, and go with him. Be as quick as you can.’

She frowned. ‘Is something gonna happen to the Tardis?’

‘Maybe,’ he said. ‘But hopefully not if I can sort it all out. I need you to be safe.’

‘Safe from what?’ she asked.

‘Like I said, it’s complicated,’ he said. ‘Promise me you’ll do exactly what I’ve asked for now.’

‘Okay, promise,’ she said.

He hugged her tightly, kissing her forehead. ‘I’ll explain everything when I get back.’

‘Why not now?’ she complained, holding onto the shoulders of his jacket.

‘I haven’t got much time right now,’ he said. ‘I’ll answer every single question you have when I get back, I promise.’

‘Okay,’ she said.

‘I love you.’

‘I love you too, Daddy.’

He lingered on the hug for a few moments, trying not to cry. Then he got up and moved to the door before he could change his mind about the whole thing. He lingered in the doorway, looking at her seriously. ‘Remember. Only Uncle Jack. Nobody else.’

‘Okay,’ she said again, pulling her duvet up to her nose. He offered her a brief smile, and then left. The door locked shut behind him.

* * *

The Doctor started on his plan. He picked up one of his blood bags from the infirmary, and then headed to the console room. It was a very long walk.

He made sure Leah’s room was fully secure, and briefly looked up at the time rotor, resting a hand on it.

‘Stick with me,’ he begged his oldest companion. ‘Don’t worry, and don’t panic. Do whatever they want you to do. Don’t give them a reason to do anything to you. And please keep Leah safe.’

The TARDIS thrummed slightly, and he felt a vibration through his feet. He nodded, and reached up to the one button he seldom used. He hit it to activate the emergency shutdown. The TARDIS was plunged into darkness.

He paused for a moment, bracing himself. Then he straightened up.

He walked out into Torchwood, where everything was perfectly normal. Gwen and Ianto were at their computers. 

‘Morning,’ he said to them, smiling. 

‘Morning,’ they chorused back. 

‘We’ve got a job on if you’re interested, Doctor,’ Ianto said. ‘Someone’s reporting some weird green goo is building in their attic.’

‘Oh, nice,’ he replied. ‘Sounds fun. Where’s Jack and Rose?’

‘His office,’ Gwen answered, gesturing with her head.

The Doctor didn’t even bother looking, just nodding. ‘Thanks,’ he said, and went to his desk. He dropped to sit on his chair, doing his obligatory few spins before booting up the system, and positioning his hands over the keyboard.

He watched Ianto and Gwen continue their work just a few seats away. He prepared the computer for what he was about to do, coding a file and putting it on a USB stick. He pulled it out of the computer, and slipped it in his pocket. Then he was ready. Time to earn his Oscar.

* * *

The Doctor suddenly jerked, as though he’d just been hit in the face, letting out a cry of shock. Gwen and Ianto both looked at him, startled.

‘Are you okay?’ Gwen asked, frowning.

He didn’t say anything. He froze into position like an ergonomic statue, his hands still poised over the keyboard, not blinking.

‘Doctor?’ Ianto said, glancing at Gwen nervously. 

The Doctor then collapsed in his chair and looked at them, his eyes wide and panicked. ‘I c-can’t … Help me!’

‘Jack!’ Gwen shouted, getting up and running to the Doctor who promptly shrieked. ‘Ianto, get the medical kit!’

‘What’s going on!?’ Jack cried running out of his office and looking down.

‘It’s the Doctor, something’s happening to him!’ Gwen said.

Jack launched into his pre-planned action. ‘Gwen, get Brax!’ he said, and she promptly ran into the transmat to go to London. He sprinted to the Doctor as Rose waddled down the steps from Jack’s office. Ianto came running back in with the medical kit. ‘What’s happening?’ he asked anxiously, handing the kit to Jack.

‘I don’t know,’ Jack said, his eyes wide. ‘Doctor, what’s wrong?’

The Doctor threw himself off of the chair and onto the floor, squirming and screaming. 

Rose reached them, panting. ‘What’s goin’ on!?’

‘Doctor, can you hear me?’ Jack yelled at him, cushioning the Time Lord’s head.

‘Doctor!’ Rose cried, stumbling to kneel next to him and taking his hand.

The transmat activated and Brax came running in, skidding to a halt when he saw what was going on.

‘Thete!’ he cried, running to them.

The Doctor let out the most harrowing scream as he contorted, crying on the floor. Then he stopped moving, and his eyes snapped open, staring ahead blankly. 

‘Doctor,’ Jack said urgently, waving a hand in front of his eyes.

Brax quickly placed his fingers on the Doctor’s head to read his mind, but before he could get anywhere the Doctor suddenly sat up, nearly headbutting his brother in the face. He blinked, his brow furrowing.

‘What … What just happened?’ he asked, looking around at them all.

‘You had some kind of collapse,’ Brax said quickly. ‘What’s the last thing you remember?’

‘I was in the Tardis, and then …’ he trailed off, looking around. ‘How did I get out here?’

‘Brax, what’s happenin’?’ Rose asked anxiously.

‘It might be the relapse I told you about,’ Brax replied. ‘Thete, I’m going to need to check you over.’

The Doctor screamed and contorted again, before resuming, perfectly calm. ‘But nothing happened, Adric,’ he said. 

‘Adric?’ Brax echoed, confused.

‘Yes, Adric,’ the Doctor said, frowning. 

‘Who’s Adric?’ Brax asked.

‘Adric used to travel with him, when he was in his fifth body …’ Rose supplied, looking pained. ‘Adric … He died.’

‘What are you talking about, Jo?’ the Doctor asked, staring at Rose.

‘Another old companion?’ Brax asked, looking at Rose. She nodded, on the verge of tears.

‘He’s having some sort of memory meltdown,’ Brax realised. ‘Theta, where are you right now?’

‘Theta!?’ the Doctor spat out, laughing. ‘No one’s called me that for years. Since … since …’

He contorted again, letting out another harrowing scream. Then he jumped up, barging past everyone to get to his computer. He hit the enter key, and suddenly the Torchwood alarms erupted into life and the entire place began to flash red with the sirens drilling into their ears. He grabbed the PA system and spoke calmly into it, ‘warning, warning, warning, evacuate the premises.’

‘Jesus!’ Jack cried, grabbing the Doctor. ‘What the hell have you done!?’

The Doctor held into the microphone. ‘Warning, warning, you’re all about to get blown to smithereens. Hahaha!’

‘Doctor!’ Jack cried desperately.

The Doctor turned and grinned the most evil grin at him. ‘Boom!’ he said.

_ ‘Detonation in forty seconds …’  _ a disembodied voice said calmly through the PA system.

‘He’s activated the self-detonation!’ Ianto said from a nearby terminal, panicked. ‘I can’t stop it! He’s encrypted everything!’

‘Oh, encryption, inhibition, prevention, abolition,’ the Doctor said gleefully.

‘Get the sedative!’ Brax decided, diving to the computer to try and stop it. The Doctor screamed and kicked out, flailing. Jack lost his hold and the Doctor rolled out of the crowd, jumping back onto his feet. He laughed uproariously, and pulled the USB stick out of his pocket. He then shoved it back in his pocket.

‘Let’s play tag!’ he said, and lightly hit Rose on the shoulder. ‘Tag, Rose, you’re it!’ he said, and ran off.

‘What the hell is going on!?’ Jack cried. 

‘Get after him!’ Brax shouted. 

Jack obeyed, pursuing the Doctor up the steps and into his office. He found the Doctor popping a blood bag with his hands. He smeared it all over his nose, mouth and ears, discarded the blood bag. He then looked at Jack.

‘Don’t let him scan me,’ the Doctor said quietly, then promptly screamed, shoved past Jack, ran out the door and threw himself over the railing to the metal grating fifteen feet below.

‘Doctor!’ Jack cried in alarm, and this time it was genuine as the Doctor fell and hit the floor with a clang. He ran out of his office and almost tripped as he flew down the steps to meet the Doctor’s unmoving body in a heap.

‘Oh my god!’ Rose screamed.

‘Get the stick!’ Ianto cried desperately. 

Jack, partially overwhelmed, dug into the Doctor’s pocket and found the USB stick, throwing it to Ianto. 

_ ‘Detonation in ten seconds …’ _

Ianto frenziedly worked to boot up the file the Doctor had created to stop the detonation as Brax ran over, panicking.

‘Theta!’ he cried, diving to his brother and turning him over. The Doctor was now  _ covered  _ in blood from the blood bag.

‘I couldn’t stop him!’ Jack gasped out.

Brax quickly put his fingers on his brother’s head. ‘His mind’s in complete shutdown, we’ve got to get him to the infirmary!’

‘Doctor!’ Rose cried, sobbing.

Brax scooped up his brother and ran to the TARDIS. Jack and Rose followed to find the TARDIS was dark and devoid of life. As Brax rushed off and disappeared down the corridor, Rose grabbed Jack’s hand. 

‘He  _ meant  _ to do that, yeah?’ she asked anxiously.

‘Yeah,’ Jack replied. ‘He said not to let Brax scan him …’

‘Jesus Christ,’ she cursed. ‘Go and help him, I’ll catch up …’

Jack nodded, and ran.

* * *

Jack reached the infirmary to find Brax loading the Doctor into the scanner and jabbing the buttons in a frenzy.

‘It’s not working!’ Brax said, panicked. ‘Power’s down!’ he looked at Jack, desperate. ‘Do you have a scanner!?’

'No …’ Jack said, hesitating a bit. Brax looked so panicked and heartbroken that Jack was finding himself seriously considering whether any of this was right. 

‘Zikhchak!’ Brax swore in gallifreyan, his hands on his head. 'I don't know what to do!’

'He’s relapsing, right?’ Jack said, pushing away all his doubts. 'Treat that.’

'But I can't, unless …’ Brax trailed off, and looked at the Lindos Machine.

'The Lindos Machine?’ Jack asked, wide-eyed. 'But you said …’

'I know,’ Brax interrupted. 'But he's collapsing …’

Rose arrived, holding her belly and out of breath. 'Is he okay!?’

'Rose …’ Brax began, pained.

'He’s having a massive relapse,’ Jack said, nodding at Brax. 'He’s deteriorating … Brax thinks we might have to use the Lindos Machine.’

Rose's jaw dropped. 'But … You said it was dangerous!’

'Rose, he's falling, fast,’ Brax said, looking down at his little brother. 'I don't know what else to do. This is all I've got. If we don't do anything I think he might die.’

Rose stared at him, horrified. 'But he was fine this mornin’ … How can this happen!?’

'It's the telepathic damage, it's suddenly become worse,’ Brax stressed. 'Rose, I'm not going to pretend this isn't a risk, but if we don't do anything he's going to …’

The Doctor suddenly interrupted with a loud shriek. His eyes burst open and he gasped for air.

'Doctor!’ Jack and Rose cried.

'Thete!’ Brax said quickly, leaning over him. 'Can you hear me?’

The Doctor’s eyes scanned around the room. 'Turn on the lights,’ he said quietly.

Brax looked at Jack and Rose, worried. 'They  _ are  _ on, Theta.’

'Why is it so dark?’ the Doctor moaned. ' _ Please _ turn on the lights …’

'Oh my god,’ Rose croaked. 'He’s gone blind …’

'Ahcashinoin,’ the Doctor slurred out.

'Theta, fight this,’ Brax demanded.

'Haibuibahk …’

He contorted again.

Brax checked his head. 'It’s a mess, it's a complete mess,’ he moaned. 'Theta,  _ please,  _ you're stronger than this …’

The Doctor went limp, closing his eyes.

'No, no, no, no!’ Brax wailed. Jack had never  _ seen _ him so emotional.  _ 'Please,  _ Theta!’

Rose was crying. Jack moved to hug her. He wondered seriously just when they'd all stopped acting.

Brax looked at Rose, desperate. ‘ _ Please _ let me try the Lindos Machine …  _ Please.’ _

Was he acting too? Or had they got this all  _ incredibly  _ wrong?

‘Okay,’ Rose gasped out, just as the Doctor had told her to. ‘Do it.’

There was no going back now.


	33. Nemesis: Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brax and the Master instigate their plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little bit triggery. If you need a frame of reference for the Doctor and the Master's history in the the Year That Never Was (and consequently, Brax's crude retelling of Jack's story) that I'm founding this relationship on, then I invite you to have a read of the oneshot in my profile, 22 Weeks. It's super whumpy and psychologically jarring, but if you've got to this point, I'm guessing you're not worried by that ...! :P

Brax set up the Lindos Machine without delay. Three minutes later he and Jack shifted the limp Doctor onto it, and Brax hooked him up to several drips.

'Ready?’ Brax asked anxiously, looking at Rose.

Rose looked at Brax. ‘Just … give me a minute.’

Brax nodded immediately, hastily gesturing and walking away to the other side of the infirmary, where he began to pace. Jack joined him as Rose moved to the Doctor, hiding him from view as she took his hand. She squeezed it, and he squeezed back. She pulled the hairband from her wrist and slipped it onto his. 

_'Run,’_ the Doctor's voice came into her head. She squeezed his hand twice to signify she'd heard him, and placed it on his stomach. She kissed him briefly on the forehead where he wasn't covered in blood, and pulled back.

‘Okay,’ she said quietly, nodding at Brax.

Brax darted over immediately, hitting a few buttons on the control panel. After a beep and a hiss, they watched as the tray the Doctor was lying on slid into the Lindos Machine, and it sealed itself.

Jack glanced at Rose. Now they had to get Brax out of the Infirmary. 'How long?’ he asked.

'A few hours,’ Brax replied.

'Can you … tell me exactly what's goin’ on?’ Rose asked Brax quietly.

He nodded. 'When he initially received the damage, he -’

'No, not in here,’ Rose said anxiously, glancing at the Lindos Machine. 'I need to get out.’

Brax nodded again. 'Of course. Let's speak in the kitchen.

Jack watched as they left. He waited roughly ten seconds, and then began.

He retrieved the pile of notes Rose had written from under one of the beds, and began to place them around the room in the exact spots the Doctor had shown him. He did the supply cupboard last, placing his loaded gun where the Doctor had said. He could almost hear the Doctor’s words from the previous night, telling him what to do next.

_'Knock twice on the Lindos Machine, then I'll know you're done.’_

Jack then stepped out of the cupboard, and moved over to the Lindos Machine. He raised his hand, and rapped twice to let the Doctor know.

_'Go straight to Rose. Rose, go out and evacuate Torchwood to Torchwood London. Tell them to go into complete lockdown. Jack, keep Brax inside the Tardis and away from the infirmary.’_

Jack left the infirmary to the kitchen. He popped his head in, where Rose and Brax were talking over cups of tea.

'You both okay?’ Jack asked.

'Yeah,’ Rose replied, sniffing. 'I guess I’d better go tell the others.’

'I could do that,’ Brax offered.

‘No … I will,’ Rose insisted, wiping at her eyes. ‘Thank you,’ she added, and left.

‘I’d better check the Lindos Machine,’ Brax began, making to get up. 

‘Wait,’ Jack said quickly. ‘What exactly is the damage to his brain like?’

To his relief, Brax sat back down, and they began a nice long conversation.

* * *

Rose burst out into Torchwood, where Ianto and Gwen were waiting, now joined by Jackie and Tony, with Kiana holding Ianto's hand.

‘What’s happening?’ Gwen asked. 

‘How’s the Doctor?’ Ianto followed up.

‘He’s fine, listen,’ she said quickly, checking over her shoulder incase of Brax. ‘Everyone, get in the transmat and go to London. When you get there, make sure Sarah and Luke are inside and tell Torchwood to go into total lockdown. Stop all the power to the transmat. Cut yourselves off completely.’

They all just stared at her, confused.

‘Sweetheart,’ her mum began, ‘I thought you invited me over so we could have a day out.’

‘Please,’ Rose said anxiously, glancing over her shoulder again. ‘We’ll explain everythin’, but right now _please_ just do what I say. We’re all in serious danger.’

‘But the Doctor …’ Ianto started again.

‘We’re puttin’ it on,’ Rose answered rapidly. ‘Please, go to London and lockdown. When everything’s okay we’ll contact you. Please.’

After a brief moment, thankfully they all nodded and did as she asked.

‘Rose …’ her mum tried to say when it was her turn to leave.

‘Mum, if I’ve ever asked anythin’ of you, this is the most important thing. Please, _please_ go. We’ll explain everythin’ later. I promise.’

Her mum hesitated, before hugging and kissing her daughter. She knew how this worked by now.

‘Be safe,’ she said, and she and Tony left.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Rose looked to the entrance as the transmat powered down.

_‘The Master will get into Torchwood just after you’ve evacuated. Get to Jack’s office, wait for the Master, and text Jack when he arrives. The Master will know you're there, but if you stay hidden he won’t bother coming after you. If he thinks he’s got to make an effort to catch you, he won’t bother. Eventually, he’ll go into the Tardis.’_

Rose went as fast as she could up the steps and into Jack’s office. With a groan and a hand on her belly, she lowered herself down, peeking through the window that faced the entrance as she whipped out her phone, poised to text Jack.

Just as the Doctor had theorised, the Torchwood door rolled back and the Master appeared. He still had his Harold Saxon face - not the one she’d become accustomed to that had been helping in recent times. He took a couple of strides, and then stopped. Almost immediately his head turned towards her and she ducked, her heart pounding.

She rapidly sent her text, and then counted twenty seconds in her head. She then dared to look again, but the Master was gone.

Her panic erupted like a volcano as visions flashed through her head of him heading up the steps that she’d just climbed herself. In a whirl of stress, she checked, but he wasn’t there. He’d gone into the TARDIS. The Doctor had been right.

_‘Once he’s in the Tardis, get out to the SUV and start the engine. Lock all the doors, and wait. He won't come after you.’_

With every breath she took reduced to a rattling gasp of fright, Rose headed to the SUV.

* * *

‘Telepathic damage starts out like when you drive a pole through a pane of glass,’ Brax said. 'it cracks all around the entrance point, and everything in the brain begins to bleed through the cracks, in a way.’

Jack nodded, but he wasn't really listening. He knew all this already. He was just sat there, trying to figure out why on Earth Brax would want to hurt his little brother when he clearly passionately cared about him.

'Eventually the telepathic bleeding stops, but the scars are still there, radiating out from the damaged area. Sometimes the damage is too much and they don't heal. In Thete's case, his bleeding stopped, and now it has started again.’

Ever since Jack had met Brax, he'd been fiercely loyal. He'd even expressed grievances that the Doctor was so distant from him. Sure, the Doctor tended to rely on people that weren't Brax, but it wasn't like he ignored his brother completely. Anyway, surely that couldn't be why Brax would do this.

'There is no real explanation for why it can suddenly start bleeding again, but it's very dangerous. It means his brain can't heal itself from the damage. His telepathic blood is rushing out and destroying his brain,’ Brax continued.

He had to be under some form of mind control, Jack reasoned. But looking at him now, he didn't even remotely look like he was being controlled. Besides, Time Lords were notoriously difficult to break in the mental department. 

‘That's about the sum of it,’ Brax finished. ‘Do you have any questions?’

Yeah, Jack thought bitterly. He had a few. Just as he was about to reply, Jack's phone vibrated in his pocket. The signal that the Master was around.

Now he _knew_ Brax was a liar.

‘No. Thank you,’ Jack said, nodding and getting up. ‘I'm gonna use the toilet, I'll be back in a second.’

Braxiatel nodded, taking a sip of tea as Jack left the kitchen.

* * *

_‘When you've got Rose's text, go straight to Leah's room. Hide from view. They'll come first to Leah, to use her as possible leverage against me. They'll have a good sniff around, and then realise they can't open the door. They’ll know you’re there, but they won’t bother with you yet, because they’ll assume you’re not leaving. They'll leave to find me. Get Leah, lock the door behind you, and get to the SUV.’_

Jack made his way quickly and quietly to Leah's room. He slipped into a side room opposite her’s and closed the door, waiting anxiously. He didn’t have to wait long until Braxiatel and the Master's voices came through, chatting jovially.

‘I felt the blonde in Torchwood, in that office,’ the Master was saying. 

‘Why didn’t you grab her?’ Braxiatel asked.

‘Too much effort,’ the Master drawled. ‘She’s not going anywhere. She’ll stay close to the Doctor. Humans are really clingy like that.’

‘I noticed,’ Braxiatel said, and Jack heard them stop walking. ‘This is her room. I can sense her, she’s definitely in there,’ he said, lowering his voice.

‘Then get her out,’ the Master replied.

There were some noises as Braxiatel clearly tried to open the door. Jack’s nerves jumped a little, but it didn’t open.

‘Locked,’ Braxiatel said. ‘Leah, it’s Uncle Brax, can you open up?’

Jack’s nerves jumped even higher, but Leah didn’t reply.

‘Leah, something really bad’s happened to your daddy,’ Braxiatel continued. ‘He’s asking for you.’

Jack’s lip was hurting quite badly from the degree which he was biting it, internally begging Leah not to open the door.

‘Leah, are you in there?’ Braxiatel tried once more, knocking again.

Silence.

‘Stupid human kid’s probably still asleep,’ the Master muttered, annoyed. ‘This is a waste of time.’

‘Agreed,’ Braxiatel said, and groaned a little. ‘I can smell that immortal even from here. The Doctor always said he smelt like a Trop’ta.’

‘I don’t know how he can stand it,’ the Master said, pinching his nose.

‘The immortal told me this sweet story, once,’ Braxiatel said. ‘Apparently that’s your doing.’

‘Really?’ the Master asked, interested.

‘When you beat the Doctor so badly on the Valiant he was blind and brain damaged, the Doctor learnt to cope with how much the immortal reeks. He actually finds it comforting.’

The Master laughed. ‘I had no idea. How sweet!’

‘Speaking of, he’s still stuck in that coffin I made,’ Braxiatel said. ‘Time to pay my brother a visit. We’ll grab the Immortal once we’ve got the Doctor.’

They left.

Jack waited patiently for at least fifteen seconds, until the sound of footsteps had truly gone. He then moved forward and knocked on Leah’s door.

‘Leah, it’s Uncle Jack,’ he hissed. ‘Open up.’

Almost immediately the door sprang back and Leah appeared, tears streaming down her face. ‘Uncle Jack,’ she gasped, terrified.

He scooped her up in his arms and kissed her forehead. ‘I’ve got you. Everything’s going to be fine. Stay quiet.’

She nodded, clinging onto his neck desperately. He locked the door, and started running to get out of the TARDIS.

* * *

The Doctor had been waiting patiently in the Lindos Machine, using his time sense to accurately judge how fast things were moving beyond his tube. When he was sure Braxiatel and the Master were by Leah’s room, he launched into action.

He recreated exactly what he’d seen in the vision, to the degree of even pausing to stare at signs, as if he was confused. He eventually, as before, ended up in the supply cupboard with Jack’s gun in his hand. Braxiatel and the Master entered, as before, said exactly the same things, and soon the Doctor was on the floor, peering through the gap under the door.

‘Looks like he wants us to play the game,’ Braxiatel said. ‘Should we count to ten?’

‘Well, if we’re going to play, let’s do it properly,’ the Master said. ‘Cover your eyes, Brax. One, two, three, four, five, six …’

Braxiatel’s feet started to move towards the store cupboard, just as before.

‘Seven, eight …’

There was a rustle of clothing again.

‘Nine … ten.’

The Doctor watched as suddenly under the crack of the door he saw his brother, staring straight back at him. A small crinkle appeared at the corner of his brother’s eye as he smiled.

‘Ready or not, here we come …’ Braxiatel’s voice hissed through the gap.

The Doctor burst into action. He jumped up, pushing the door with everything he had. The metal door hit his brother’s head like a softball bat hitting a ball. Braxiatel cried out in surprise, and the Doctor slid out of the now ajar door to come face-to-face with the Master. The Doctor raised the gun, and pointed it straight at him. The Master quickly raised his arms in surrender. 

‘Calm down, Gunbellina,’ the Master said. ‘We only want a chat.’

He knew he couldn’t kill him, so the Doctor aimed, and shot precisely where he wanted to. A glancing blow to the Master’s head, with the bullet smashing into the stock of medicines behind him, causing an explosion of glass.

In the ensuing confusion, he leapt over Braxiatel, and ran to his nearest exit - the entrance to the psychiatric ward. He heard the Master scream with rage behind him, ‘get him!’

The Doctor ran down the psychiatric ward like he’d never run before. He heard them starting to pursue him. He led them into the solitary ward, down the corridor he knew was in a circular layout with a split entrance.

He slowed his run ever so slightly, and waited for the two-pronged attack.

Sure enough, Braxiatel came bounding around the corner. He turned back, and found the Master coming up behind him, blood all over his head. 

The both of them slowed, and stopped.

‘Oh dear,’ the Master said, smirking. ‘Did we forget the layout of our solitary ward?’

The Doctor backed up against the wall and looked between them, his eyes wide. ‘Look, I’m surrendering,’ the Doctor said quickly, putting down his gun. He looked at Braxiatel again. ‘Brax, please,’ he pleaded. ‘Help me.’

‘Oh, he doesn’t know, how sweet,’ the Master said, laughing. ‘Asking your big brother to save you? He never did that very much before, Theta, what makes you think he's going to do it now?’

The Doctor swallowed. ‘Please, _please_ don’t do this.’

They both began to walk forward, closing in on him.

‘Why did you make me run, Theta?’ the Master snapped. ‘You know how much I _hate_ running. It makes me unnecessarily angry. Not to mention being shot. I _hate_ being shot.’

‘Come now, Koschei,’ Braxiatel said, the both of them still walking forward. ‘He could have killed you back there.’

‘Oh, but he never could,’ the Master taunted, still looking directly at the Doctor. ‘He’s a coward. Always a coward.’

‘Please, stop,’ the Doctor begged.

‘Oh, we’re only just getting started,’ the Master spat.

Braxiatel picked up the abandoned gun. ‘Sorry Theta, but you know how it is.’

The Doctor knew what was coming, but he didn’t reveal it. ‘Please don’t shoot me …’

‘Shoot you?’ the Master scoffed, laughing. ‘Oh no. We’re on strict instructions to deliver you alive.’

‘Deliver to who?’ the Doctor asked quickly, but neither of them answered as Braxiatel reached him, and hit him as hard as he could over the head with the butt of the gun.

* * *

The Doctor woke up precisely ninety-five seconds after he’d been knocked out to find himself in the console room, handcuffed to the grating. His head was throbbing as things rapidly came back in waves. He realised the TARDIS was powering up, making all manner of negative noises.

‘Oh, she’s annoyed,’ the Master said.

‘She’ll start trying to stop us. She’s far too attached to him,’ Braxiatel said.

‘Oi!’ the Master yelled, and kicked the TARDIS. He produced his laser screwdriver, pointing it at the console and pressing on the button. The TARDIS made a noise so horrific that the Doctor’s hearts temporarily seemed to freeze up in his chest with anguish.

The Master stopped, and laughed. ‘Oh, I need to do that more often,’ he said to Braxiatel.

‘Get off of her,’ the Doctor rasped.

‘Oh, the voice of our saviour,’ the Master said insincerely, and looked down at the Doctor. ‘Good. Now you’re awake, we can get spawn one out of her bedroom. She won't come out for Uncle Brax, but she'll come out for Daddy.’

Jack would have taken her away by now, but the Doctor couldn’t let the Master and Braxiatel know that. ‘You must be mad if you think I’m going to do anything like that for you.’

‘Theta, think rationally,’ Braxiatel said, as measured and calm as ever. ‘The choice here is simple. Either you can get Leah to come out here and she can be safe and in your view …’

'Or we can rip apart your beloved TARDIS to get the door open, and then shoot her through the head from how angry we are at how much time you’ve wasted,’ the Master finished. 

The Doctor looked between them. Talk about good cop, bad cop. ‘Don't hurt her. Please.’

‘He’s begging,’ the Master said happily. ‘Come on, Theta, you know how this works.’

The Doctor immediately had several flashes of the Year That Never Was, and he knew exactly what the Master wanted him to do. ‘I’m not playing your games, anymore,’ he said.

‘Oh, but I don’t think you get a choice now, do you?’ the Master goaded him. 

The Doctor considered his options, and concluded he had to go along with their little charade for now. He got onto his knees, and bowed his head. 'Please Master,’ he said quietly. 'Don’t hurt my daughter.’

He couldn't see their faces, but he could almost hear their smiles.

'And what are you?’ the Master prompted.

'Pathetic,’ the Doctor said quietly.

'I’m sorry, I didn't hear you,’ the Master said, dropping to his haunches beside the Doctor. ‘Come again?’

‘I'm pathetic,’ the Doctor repeated, louder.

'Look at me!’ the Master demanded.

The Doctor did. The Master looked half-crazed. He'd always been volatile, but something wasn't right here.

'Louder!!!’ the Master screamed in his face.

'I’m pathetic!!!’ the Doctor yelled.

The Master paused, and then smiled. 'Good to see you remember. Now …’ He held out a hand to Braxiatel, who promptly put the microphone to address the whole TARDIS in his hand. He placed it on the floor in front of the Doctor. 'Tell your daughter to come to Daddy, or she's dead.’

The Doctor looked at them, and feigned a bit of anguish. 'Please, I can't …’

The Master swung a foot and planted it in his side. The Doctor cried, coughed, and curled in on himself.

'Koschei, please,’ Braxiatel began disapprovingly, 'let’s try and be civilised. Theta …’ Brax stooped to the Doctor's level. 'I think it's in your best interest to do what we've asked,’ he advised, smiling.

The Doctor pushed himself up, holding his stomach. 'Why are you doing this to me?’ he whined to his brother.

Braxiatel didn't answer. He just pushed the microphone to the Doctor, and stood up.

The Doctor took a breath, and began, ‘Leah, it's Daddy. Come on out. It's safe now. Come to the console room.’

The pause was excruciating.

'Again,’ the Master ordered.

'Leah. Come on out. Everything's okay.’

They waited. Once a good amount of time had passed, the Master and Braxiatel seemed to simultaneously realise.

‘She's not there,’ Braxiatel said, looking at his brother. 

The Doctor furrowed his brow, then grinned. ‘Good,’ he said, like that was news to him.

The Master looked ready to smack him, but thankfully Braxiatel interrupted. ‘No matter,’ he said, waving a nonchalant hand. ‘Stick to the plan, Koschei.’

‘Of course,’ the Master said after a moment of gazing at the Doctor. He then stepped to him, pulling a needle gun out of his jacket. 

‘What are you doing?’ the Doctor asked quickly.

‘It is better you’re not awake for this next bit,’ Braxiatel said. ‘Don’t worry, we will take good care of you.’

‘Good night,’ the Master said, dosing him with whatever was in the needle. It didn’t take long until the Doctor’s head fogged, his vision blurred out, and he passed out.


	34. Nemesis: Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With his destiny drawing closer as a prisoner of the Master, the Doctor tries everything he can to break Toby's mind control over his kinsman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, a very triggery chapter. If you don't know who Toby is, he's basically the arch villain of this entire series who has tried (and in some cases succeeded) to completely destroy the Doctor.

The first thing he noticed was the sound of engines. The Doctor’s entire head seemed to be pulsating with some huge, painless headache.

He blinked a few times, trying desperately to sort out his vision, but everything was slow and blurry, and about ten times brighter than usual, like some horrific psychedelic trip, with abstract shapes of shadows and items in front of him creating shimmering assimilations of otherworldly creatures in his mind’s eye. He tried to move, but his arms and legs wouldn’t comply. He looked down, his limbs swimming into view. They appeared to be attached to his body at some moments, and other times they were swimming away from him. He groaned, forcing himself to focus, and saw there was something around his wrists and ankles, fixing him to a seat.

‘Welcome back,’ the Master's voice said. It was distant, like he was underwater, and the phrase seemed to echo inside the Doctor’s head. A blurry, bright face loomed into his vision. The eyes were wide and spinning, and the smile was seemingly taking over the entire face like a demented clown.

‘Wow, your pupils are so dilated,’ the Master said. A hand waved in front of his eyes, the colour trailing in his vision and leaving a spectrum of muted reds, browns, and yellows in its wake. ‘You're  _ so _ high. I haven't seen you this high since we went to see those Shobogans on Gallifrey and we swore we got home by invisible bikes.’

The Master moved slightly, and the colours burst, like someone had thrown a palette of the Master's facial colours straight into the Doctor’s eyes. ‘Probably gave you a bit too much. Oh well. You enjoy the ride, Theta. It might be the last nice thing you ever experience.’

The Doctor's vision was finally sharpening, and he realised he was sitting in a spaceship, and they were in flight.

‘Where am I?’ the Doctor asked weakly.

‘Spaceship. Hadn’t you worked that out yet?’

‘Where's Braxiatel?’

‘Getting leverage,’ was all the Master said.

He was looking for Rose and the others, then. But this, despite appearances, was good. That meant Braxiatel was now far away. The Master and Braxiatel had split up, and that was exactly what the Doctor had wanted. He suddenly felt significantly calmer.

‘He won't find them until it’s too late,’ the Doctor said. Things were still very blurry.

‘I know he won’t, but unfortunately for you when he can’t find the rest of them, he’ll play his trump card,’ the Master replied.

‘What trump card?’

The Master shrugged. ‘Your guess is as good as mine,’ he said. He then pulled up a chair and sat on it in front of the Doctor, smiling gleefully. ‘So, go on then, what’s next in your plan?’

The Doctor stared at him. ‘What?’

‘Unlike Braxiatel, I  _ know  _ you,’ the Master began. ‘You knew this was going to happen, so you’ve made a plan. You’ve got all your little humans to do lots of things for you in the background as you’ve made us concentrate on you. You’ve got a plan, and I bet my left little toe right now it’s going perfectly.’

‘No plan,’ the Doctor replied calmly.

The Master snorted with laughter. ‘I thought you respected me more than that?’

The Doctor didn’t say anything.

The Master pulled his chair forward as far as he could, and leant forward so he was barely a foot away from the bound Doctor. ‘Believe it or not, I’ve always respected you,’ he said. ‘You fascinate me. You’re fun to mess with, because you give me a challenge. You ever wonder why I keep coming back? No one else I’ve met and defeated gave me the buzz that you do. They’re all stupid, but you’re clever. You can outwit me, and I get such a kick out of that. I  _ know  _ that you understand that. You might like to pretend you’re different, but you’re not. That’s why you can’t kill me, because you’re the same as me. You want a hit. You want that buzz. It’s your drug. I’m your drug, and you’re mine. The day I kill you will be oh so sad for me. My life probably won’t have a point anymore. We work, Doctor. I try to kill you, you refuse to kill me. It’s an endless cycle, and without it, there’s not much point in us, is there?’

The Doctor still didn’t say anything.

‘You have no idea how bored I was during that year. That’s why I made up all those little games for us to play. You didn’t fight me. You didn’t even fight when I was beating the life out of you. You didn’t fight when I ordered those humans to do what they did to you. I kept escalating it, and you kept giving me next to nothing. Sure, you begged a bit, but that didn’t make up for it. You were boring. All you did was protect the humans. But in the end, you  _ did  _ win, like you’ve done every time. Now we’re back to where we were. Neither of us can truly kill each other, else it’s all over.’

‘Mind if I ask a question?’ the Doctor suddenly said, completely changing the subject.

The Master looked surprised. ‘What?’

‘Why are you doing this?’ the Doctor asked seriously. ‘This isn’t like you.’

‘What abduction, captivity, and tormenting isn’t like me?’ the Master wondered vaguely, smirking.

‘You’re working  _ for  _ someone,’ the Doctor replied. ‘Like you said. I  _ know  _ you, just like you know me. You don’t work  _ for  _ people. You barely work  _ with  _ people. So what is it? What are they offering? What could this person or thing possibly have that’s made you into a docile pet?’

The Master’s eyes shot open, and then narrowed significantly. ‘I’m not a pet.’

‘Looks exactly like you’re a pet from where I’m sitting, restrained to a chair as you escort me like a bodyguard to wherever you’ve been told to go,’ the Doctor pointed out.

The Master was clearly rapidly losing his temper. ‘Shut up.’

The Doctor shrugged as much as his bonds would allow him, and decided to change the subject to let him think about that for a while. ‘How long until we get there?’

‘Fourteen hours,’ the Master snapped back, and stormed off into the cockpit.

The Doctor watched him go. He had to play this carefully. 

* * *

The drugs had sent him back to sleep for a while, and he awoke abruptly three hours later when the Master shoved him.

‘Wakey wakey,’ the Master said, and held a bowl of some grim food up to him. ‘Eat this.’

The Doctor looked at him groggily, and then at the bowl. Things were a lot clearer than they had been. The drugs were nearly completely worn off. ‘I already ate before I was abducted, thanks.’

The Master ignored him. He dipped the spoon into the gunk, grabbed the Doctor’s hair to force his head back and rammed it down his throat. ‘Stop complaining.’

The Doctor, still bound to the chair, could do nothing but take it. It tasted awful. 

'Always your problem,’ the Master said. 'Never known what's good for you.’

The Doctor couldn't help but dribble out the next rancid spoonful. The Master flicked him on his glabella, the Time Lord nerve endings causing a little shock through the Doctor.

‘Obey your Master,’ he stated.

‘Did you cook this yourself? Tastes terrible,’ the Doctor complained.

He got a slap for that comment.

'Do we not remember how this works?’ the Master wondered. 'I give you food, and you  _ thank  _ me for even bothering to keep your pathetic hide alive, and then I  _ might _ give you more, if I feel like it.’

'I’m not going back to that, Master,’ the Doctor said calmly. ‘That year is over.’

‘Oh, but it’s still in there, isn’t it?’ the Master taunted, tapping the Doctor’s temple four times, precisely timed, like the drumbeat he claimed to have in his head. With each tap, the Doctor’s worst memories of that year seemed to jump to the forefront of his mind.

He pushed them back with a flinch, and the Master laughed. ‘Tell me, Doctor. How do you feel?’

‘Mildly irritated,’ the Doctor muttered.

‘When you think about that year, how do you feel?’ the Master persisted. ‘Have you had nightmares? Have you cried? Please tell me you suffered. I want to be inside your head, all the time. I want you to dread me. Did it work? When you close your eyes, am I there, smiling at you?’

‘You’re insane.’

‘Well, duh,’ the Master said, rolling his eyes. ‘How much does your wife know? How much did you actually tell her? How much did you  _ need  _ to tell her, so you could have her validate that what happened wasn’t your fault? How many times did she say the line, “it wasn’t your fault, I love you no matter what that sicko did to you”?’

‘I’m bored of talking about this.’

‘Oh, aren't we confident?’ the Master said, rolling his eyes as he reached forward and ruffled the Doctor’s hair. ‘It’s cute how hard you’re trying to pretend.’

The Doctor ignored that. ‘Don't touch me again.’

'Oh, I'm sorry, like this?’ the Master asked, and poked his shoulder deliberately in the nerve cluster.

'I said  _ don’t touch me,’  _ the Doctor repeated firmly, feeling a little bit faint for a second.

The Master laughed, and threw the rest of the food - including the bowl - in the Doctor's face. 'Oh, this is what I fight you for. I'm getting that high. Can you feel it too?’

'I feel nothing from you,’ the Doctor said, his meal running down his face.

‘You liar,’ the Master stated boldly. 'That little rush of adrenaline and pleasure. You've got it, haven't you?’ He walked behind the Doctor and leant forward so he was speaking directly in his ear. 'Isn’t it addicting?’

The Doctor gritted his teeth. 'Shut up.’

The Master laughed insanely and pulled out his handkerchief to rid the Doctor of the gunk. 'Of course, this is all irrelevant, because as I said, you've already got a plan,’ he said, wiping at the Doctor's face without any kind of grace. ‘But you're not going to get it past me.’

‘Oh, I dunno,’ the Doctor said. 'You’re not exactly smart to let yourself get into this position.’

The Master stopped cleaning him up, and moved back to face him. He looked partially amused, and partially shocked that the Doctor had dared to say that. 'What?’

‘I think I’ve worked it out now,’ the Doctor said, staring at him. ‘Because nothing you’ve been doing is making sense. First time I saw you after the Year That Never Was, you tried to kill me and destroy my future. Next time I see you, you betray me and get me tortured with my family imprisoned. After that, you unwillingly help me get my memories back, just because you couldn’t stand to not have me to torment. Everything was pretty much normal with you. Then, you changed. I hear your voice on a television set, begging me to help you. I then see you in the Tower of London after Toby tortured me and you’re acting strangely, like you were being forced to do something you didn’t want to do … Next time I see you, you’ve regenerated and you’re helping me. You say that I’m going to do something incredible for you.’

‘Help you?’ the Master scoffed, laughing. ‘I’m not in the habit of helping you.’

‘In your future,  _ something  _ happens. You die, and I’ve got something to do with it,’ the Doctor persisted. ‘I do something for you that changes your allegiances. But right now, you’re fractured. Someone’s got inside your head.  _ You.’  _ The Doctor paused, biting his lip. ‘Your head’s a fortress, so whatever’s got inside your head is extremely powerful. And now you’re taking me to whatever’s done this to you. And it’s not hard to work out from that who I’m going to meet at the end of this journey. Toby.’

The Master seemed to shiver a little at the name.

‘I don’t know how he’s done it, but he’s got inside yours and Braxiatel’s heads,’ the Doctor said, perfectly calm. ‘He’s ordering you to do this to me. But I  _ know  _ you, and I know you don’t want to do this, do you?’

The Master abruptly threw a nearby chair to one side. It hit the wall with quite a clang. The Doctor winced. He was fairly sure the next fit of violence would be aimed in his direction, but he was ready for that.

_ ’Don’t  _ say that!’ the Master raged.

‘Sorry,’ the Doctor replied insincerely, repositioning himself in the chair.

The Matter breathed heavily for a moment, clearly trying to suppress some emotions. ‘Go on then, Brainbox,’ he said sarcastically. ‘How does this all end?’

‘This ends with me dead,’ the Doctor said. ‘And you don’t want that.’

The Master looked shocked. 

‘He  _ will  _ kill me,’ the Doctor carried on. ‘If he’s now powerful enough to break even you, then I don’t stand a chance. You’re taking me straight to him, signed, sealed, and delivered. I’m going to die, and it won’t be you doing it. You’ve fallen so hard. You used to be a threat. Now you’re just the dogsbody for a jumped-up human. How do  _ you  _ feel to be absolutely nothing?’

The Master’s eyes suddenly began to burn. Then, just as the Doctor had anticipated, he threw himself forward, pushing the Doctor’s chair roughly onto the floor before he began to relentlessly kick him. He screamed and screamed like a madman, picking up a spare part for the spaceship that had been on the floor and commencing repeatedly hitting the Doctor with it.

‘You don’t know me!’ he screamed. ‘You’re wrong!’

The Doctor took it, even as one of his ribs snapped, shortly followed by two more. He screamed out, unable to stop the assault as the pain hit him like three meat cleavers smashing into his chest. ‘Koschei!’ he cried.

He hadn’t expected him to stop, so it was quite surprising when after about thirty seconds suddenly the Master froze, as though being stopped in time. He looked down at the Doctor, who was now bloody and bruised, and frozen into a weird, contorted position for fear of moving his surely broken ribs and accidentally puncturing his own lung.

‘No …’ the Master gasped, dropping the bit of spaceship now covered in the Doctor’s blood and stumbling backwards, tripping over his own feet to land on the floor. He looked like he was in complete shock at what he was seeing. ‘No … No …’

The Doctor just gasped. He’d expected the assault, but the massive explosion of pure anger was something he hadn’t quite anticipated. He was in too much pain to move, and too tense to say anything.

The Master scrambled to his feet and ran out of the room. The Doctor panted, knowing he had to do something and he had to do it now. The Doctor had done exactly what he'd had to do - upset Toby's control. However, the Master was now dangerously volatile and unpredictable, and the Doctor had to protect himself.

He wanted to move, but if he did, he knew he risked doing further damage to himself. He could hear the Master's footsteps, pacing up and down - he was going to come back in at any moment … 

Suddenly the Master was marching back towards him. The Doctor winced, closing his eyes and slightly shifting his hand to feebly protect himself … he was totally exposed and vulnerable.

The Master dropped to his haunches next to him.

‘I’m sorry,’ the Master said softly, resting a gentle, apprehensive hand on the Doctor’s arm. ‘Please forgive me.’

The Doctor dared to look at him, his body still frozen in contortion. ‘K-Koschei,’ he gasped.

‘Theta, please, I don’t know …’ the Master paused, and suddenly looked as though he might cry. The Doctor couldn’t recall ever seeing that before. ‘What am I doing?’ the Master gasped, horrified.

‘I broke his c-control,’ the Doctor whispered through the pain. ‘Master, it’s me. It’s the Doctor. Don’t ... do anything for T-Toby. You can be yourself again. He's had you d-doing what he wants but you're in c-control now.’

‘Doctor,’ the Master managed. He really  _ was  _ crying now. ‘I don’t know why I’m doing this … I don’t want to do this. Not like this. Not for him.’

‘I know,’ the Doctor said quietly. ‘You d-don’t have to. You’re ... stronger than him. You can fight him. He doesn’t run you. G-get him out of your head.’

‘I need to help you,’ the Master croaked, looking at the mess he’d created. He very carefully untied the Doctor, who maintained his position. He then pulled out a first aid kit, utterly distraught. He made to touch the Doctor again, who flinched. ‘No, don’t do that,’ the Master begged. ‘Please don’t do that.’

The Doctor whined as he relented to the Master’s touch.

‘I’m turning you over,’ the Master said anxiously. ‘Don’t yell …  _ don’t yell. _ ’

The Doctor could only let a weird gurgling noise come out of his throat as he desperately tried not to scream. He could only lie there, helpless, as the Master turned him over and commenced first aid. 

After having spent an entire year being tortured by this man, the care and diligence to which the Master was now handling him was very confusing, and deeply sinister. The Master clearly did everything he could to help, and by the end of it the Doctor was in slightly less pain, and he was slightly more optimistic about not puncturing his own lung. The Master, he mused, had always been a good doctor.

When the Master was done, he pulled a blanket over him.

‘You’ll feel better … if you sleep,’ the Master gasped, still clearly upset. ‘Go to sleep …’

After that, the Master backed up into a corner, shaking and crying in the foetal position, his head in his arms.

The Doctor didn’t have any intention of sleeping, nor did he even close his eyes. He was too terrified to do that.

‘Rose, I’m scared of how scared I am,’ he whispered to himself. For one fleeting moment, it felt like she was with him in the room.

* * *

Jack, Rose, and Leah had been on the M6 for three hours, heading north before they’d stopped off at a service station. Jack stayed with Leah in the SUV as Rose, desperate to stretch her legs, went in to get them some food.

Her anxiety hadn’t worn off, but it was a lot lower than it had been that morning. Every second minute she was catching herself imagining the Doctor ripped to shreds on the floor of the TARDIS, and every other minute she was envisioning Brax suddenly appearing in the most ridiculous of places - like suddenly in the car, on the back seat next to Leah; or standing on any bridges they went under; or creeping up beside them on the motorway in the next car over, staring at her with a terrible smile on his face ...

She ordered some food in the service station and quickly nipped to the loo while they made it. Even as she was sitting in the cubicle she was still imagining Brax’s head suddenly popping over the top of the door, or otherwise smashing it down completely.

She couldn’t remember a time she’d ever been so scared. All those other times travelling with the Doctor when her life had been in severe danger now seemed to pale in comparison. The Doctor was somewhere across the universe on his own, very vulnerable and about to enter into a fight he might not win, and there was nothing she could do to help.

She stayed in the cubicle for a little longer than she needed to, as the thoughts were so persistent in her head. She waited until she heard everyone was out of the toilets and finally came out to wash her hands, all the while looking around in fear of Brax.

She caught herself in the mirror. She looked terrible. She didn’t think to bring any make-up with her, so instead she tried to balance out her smeared eyeliner by running a finger along to wipe off the excess.

Suddenly she caught sight of someone in the mirror behind her. Her heart jumped, and then she realised who it was. ‘Doctor?’

He was standing there in a kind of ghostly half-apparition. He had blood and bruises on him, and he was cradling his ribs. Immediately the left-hand side of her chest started to tingle, like pins and needles. She couldn’t feel his pain again, but she knew that meant he’d hurt his ribs. Her head also immediately began to ache.

_ ‘Rose, I’m scared of how scared I am,’  _ he said, not moving his lips. The voice was in her head, like she was hearing his telepathy again.

She opened her mouth to reply, but suddenly he was gone, and so was the headache.

She had no idea if he could hear her, but she said it anyway, ‘you can do this. I love you.’

* * *

The Doctor stayed still for half an hour at least. He didn’t dare move. The Master also didn’t move from his position, and the Doctor knew he could still erupt like a firework at any moment. So, he just stayed put, staring unblinkingly at the other Time Lord until he judged it to be safe.

He dared to get up, wincing badly as he did so. He inched carefully across the room, and leant on the wall of the spaceship by the Master, staring at him. He hadn’t moved.

‘Master?’ he asked.

The Master didn’t reply.

‘Thank you,’ the Doctor said.

Nothing.

‘Master,’ he tried again. ‘I need you.’

The Master still didn’t say anything, just curled up on the floor, oblivious.

‘I need you to help me,’ the Doctor stated. ‘I need to defeat Brax and Toby, and I need your help to do that.’

He didn’t say anything. 

The Doctor dropped to him with his hand cradling his ribs, not daring to touch the other Time Lord. ‘Please,’ he repeated. ‘I need you now more than ever, Koschei.’

He got nothing back.

Sighing, he shuffled to the cockpit and checked the destination. It was a set of coordinates he didn’t recognise. He  _ could  _ change the destination, but he wasn’t going to. He had to face Toby, and stop him. 

He sat down in the cockpit, and watched the stars fly by. If he couldn’t get the Master on his side, then he had to rethink his plan. What happened next had been counting on the Master’s co-operation.

He had ten hours until he got to Toby.


	35. Nemesis: Part Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor confronts Braxiatel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex is the Doctor and Rose's son - he turned out to have the problem of being a paradox child, and to save him they had to put him on a safe planet which has memory filters, meaning they've forgotten him. Check out Insurgent for the details of that one!

For the next nine hours and fifty minutes as the ship flew, the Master didn’t move, despite the Doctor’s best efforts to communicate with him. He just sat there like a statue, holding his head and sobbing quietly.

The Doctor had known severing Toby’s control would be rough on the Master’s psyche, but not quite  _ this  _ rough. It was as though the Master had completely shut down. Clearly Toby’s control had penetrated particularly deep.

It was a terrifying notion that Toby was capable of doing that. The man who had been pursuing the Doctor for years - having tricked him, tortured him, stalked him, and caused both a regeneration and exile from Earth. The man who wanted him dead was powerful enough to control the most headstrong Time Lord the Doctor had ever known.

The Doctor could only sit in the pilot’s chair, waiting to arrive. He was watching the stars fly by through the cockpit screen, but they seemed to become less and less frequent as the ship progressed, until around five minutes from estimated docking time they disappeared completely. Wherever they were going, even the stars were not alive to see it. Something had killed them, long ago.

The Doctor found himself wondering if Toby had done that too.

Finally, something came into view. It looked like some sort of white and red nebula, yet all of the ship’s instruments weren’t registering it, neither as matter or anti-matter. He tried to scan it, but the instruments kept insisting there was nothing there. He even tried reverting the image to try and register what it couldn’t detect, but still, it persisted in the conclusion that there was absolutely nothing to see.

Normally he’d be loving this, he mused.

Thirty seconds to estimated docking time, he got up and went back to the Master. The Time Lord was still in exactly the same position.

‘Master,’ the Doctor tried again. ‘We’re nearly there.’

Nothing.

‘I can’t do this without you.’

Still nothing.

‘I  _ need  _ you.’

Absolutely nothing.

The Doctor sighed and moved back to the cockpit. The view out the window was still the nebula-like mass, so he had very little idea what he was about to step into.

He issued hailing frequencies to request docking. As he’d anticipated, they were answered almost immediately, and without a single message, he attained full landing permissions.

Toby was waiting for him, and inviting him on board.

He moved to the airlock, and waited. As soon as the ship stopped and the green light was on, he took a deep breath, glanced at the Master, and went through.

The Doctor emerged into something the alien Time Lord had, quite literally, only seen in human science-fiction films. He was standing on a glowing platform seemingly supported by nothing, surrounded by unyielding blackness that was only interrupted by what looked like pieces of broken spaceship drifting around, both close to him and very far away. There were swirls of blue cloud-like energy, twisting slowly in a cyclone-like manner. Up in the distance, he could see some sort of metal-like structure. That, he assumed, was the destination. The problem was, he was at least a hundred feet below and two hundred feet away, and there didn’t appear to be any sort of walkway to get to it.

He moved to the edge of the platform and looked down. The unending blackness stared back at him. His head suddenly seemed to get a surge of some kind of energy, and his telepathic regions quivered. Wherever he was, it was stimulating his telepathic senses to quite a degree, and they were telling him to step off of the edge.

He looked at the chasm of nothing again. He couldn’t see anything down below to land on. It looked like if he stepped off, he’d be falling forever.

But the instinct was increasing in strength, to such a degree that he found himself stepping forward without even ordering his leg to. As his foot came down he found himself panicking, until suddenly his foot was halted by something solid that he couldn’t see. He froze momentarily, and then he dared to put his entire weight on it. It held firm.

His telepathic area suddenly seemed to flare again, though this time it was like fire had just run all around it. Pain flashed behind his eyes so he closed them, and to his complete shock he found he could see with his eyes closed, but the entire place had changed.

He was in a huge metal room, one step into a corridor that sloped upwards in front of him. He quickly opened his eyes again, and what he’d seen before resumed, but his head started to pound like someone was repeatedly hitting his brain with a hammer. He closed his eyes again, and the metal corridor came back, the pain immediately gone.

He’d been on ships before that operated purely through psychic interactions, but never to this degree. He decided his only way of progressing was to keep his eyes closed, and rely on what he saw through that. 

So, he started walking. He travelled up the ramp, and found himself in a two-way split. There was a sign on the wall, with  **Staff Quarters** listed as being on his right, and  **Bridge** on his left. The bridge could logically only be upwards, which was where he wanted to go, so he took the left.

He followed another long, upward-sloping corridor. The style of the ship, he fathomed as he progressed, was very human. But he'd never known humans to build anything like this in any point in their timeline. 

He kept going, following the corridors and signs until he reached a lift. He got in it, and regarded the buttons. The labels next to them were in some language he didn’t know, but recognised. They were the same symbols that had been on that space station he and Rose had visited … what had it been called? The one by Krop’tor. The one where the ‘Beast’ had been imprisoned.

He had an ominous feeling about this.

As he ascended, he checked his ribs. The bruising was now a fetching shade of purple, mixed with black. He winced a little, and decided to try and ignore it. He was also getting a headache again, so he opened his eyes and it receded, with his surroundings replaced by the broken ship. He also, to his alarm, appeared to be standing on and inside nothing, going up to the metal structure he’d spotted from far down below.

The lift reached its destination, revealing a huge metal-like half-broken platform without any walls, and completely empty besides one person - Braxiatel, standing in front of the TARDIS.   
  
'No Master?' he wondered, looking over the Doctor's shoulder.

The Doctor stepped out of the lift, finally back on floor he could actually see. ‘Sorry, not coming.’

Braxiatel smirked. ‘I knew you were too good for him. However, obviously not good  _ enough, _ ’ he said, looking pointedly at the cuts and bruises the Doctor had, and the way he was stooping to one side. ‘Always been a bit of a problem for you, hasn’t he?’

The Doctor self-consciously straightened up, ignoring the flash of pain. He changed the subject. ‘Brax. Toby’s controlling you. Let me in your head, and I can get him out.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Braxiatel said, smiling, ‘but that’s not going to work.’

‘You can’t possibly want this,’ the Doctor said quickly. ‘His hold might be strong but it can be broken. Just ask yourself why you’re doing this.’

‘Is that how you got past the Master?’ Braxiatel wondered, and laughed. ‘Sorry, that’s not going to work.’

The Doctor persisted. This was harder than the Master, he realised, because he didn’t know Brax very well. ‘You’ll be taking me to my death. My own brother.’

‘ _ Half- _ brother,’ Braxiatel corrected. ‘My mother was a beautiful, intelligent, strong woman. You were mothered by a gold-digging, self-obsessed whore.’

‘I know this isn’t you talking,’ the Doctor replied calmly. 

‘Isn’t it?’ Braxiatel wondered. ‘You don’t even know me.’

‘Maybe I’ve been a bit distant recently and I’m sorry for that, but you can’t deny what we’ve been,’ the Doctor said quickly. ‘Don’t you remember how you used to sneak me away from the house to take me out to play? Don’t you remember saving my life in the river? Or when you came to talk to me when I was sleeping in the barn, when you gave me the trunkike? You got me my first perigosto stick. You taught me how to duel. You gave me the idea to go out into the Universe in the first place. Brax, you taught me how to swear in eighty-five different languages. Please tell me you remember.’

Braxiatel stared at him. ‘Eighty-six,’ he said.

The Doctor’s hearts jumped. This was a sign Toby’s control was breaking … ‘What?’

‘I taught you how to swear in  _ eighty-six _ different languages.’

‘Then you’ve just proved it. This  _ is  _ you,’ the Doctor emphasised, nodding enthusiastically. ‘You’re still you, it’s still inside you. You don’t want any of this. I know Braxiatel wouldn’t do this. He wouldn’t want to hurt me, or go chasing after my family. Just think about that. I can’t believe my own brother would want to hurt what I love.’

Braxiatel paused, looking pained, he then refocused his eyes on his little brother, and his whole face seemed to sharpen. He was fluctuating between his two conflicting states of mind ... ‘You know what annoyed our father the  _ most  _ about you?’

The question took the Doctor by surprise, but he didn’t show it. ‘What?’

‘You could have been great, Theta, but you ignored everything you were given. You were born specifically to be President. You were born into the upper class; you were smart; you were gifted. He did everything he could to give you an easy, privileged life. But you took that opportunity and threw it all away. You were such a waste. And you know what? I think I agree with him now. If I had half of the ability and advantages you had I might have actually done something with my lives. But instead here you are, standing firmly in the blood of your entire race, hanging around humans and spending your life pretending you’re a hero, when you’re the biggest murderer in universal history.’

‘I’m not denying that,’ the Doctor said quickly. ‘I know what I did. And I’m not a hero. Not even close.’

‘You killed  _ everyone,’  _ Braxiatel stressed.

‘Is this what Toby used to break your mind?’ the Doctor asked quickly. ‘Your anger at me for the Time War? You know how this works, Brax. If you confront me about that then you’ll stop his control. Just talk to me. It doesn’t have to be like this. Please come back to me. Scream at me, punch me, do anything, just let it go. Whatever you need to do to vent that anger, just  _ do  _ it. I won’t stop you.’

Braxiatel laughed hoarsely. ‘You think that’s remotely strong enough to break my mind? You think that’s what hurts me the most about you?’

‘Then what is it?’ the Doctor asked quickly. ‘We can fix it.’

‘What hurts me the most is that our father was right, and it is all my fault you became this.’

‘How can it be your fault?’ the Doctor asked, puzzled. 

‘I tried,  _ so  _ hard,’ Braxiatel moaned. ‘I wanted you to be safe, and happy. But I had to leave. The House kicked me out, and I had to leave you behind. I left you to our stupid cousins. You were vulnerable, and they took advantage of that. They maimed you, not physically, but in your head. Yes, I used to be the big brother that no one would dare mess with, but when I left, you lost that. Eventually you lost all faith in me. You don’t trust me anymore. You don’t even know me anymore, and I don’t know you either. I’ve lost you. You don’t feel like my brother anymore. You don’t … you don’t care.’

The Doctor swallowed. ‘Brax …’

‘I was never angry at you,’ Braxiatel croaked. ‘I am angry at myself. All day, every day, for what you have become. I promised your mother I would take care of you and I haven’t.’

‘Brax, I made my own choices,’ the Doctor said quickly. ‘What I’ve become is all down to me, and right now, I don’t see myself as a bad thing. I’m happy. I’m really happy. I’ve had a long life full of wonderful, beautiful, confusing things, and done  _ so  _ much. I’ve got a family, and I have so many friends. If you did make me, which you didn’t, then don’t be angry, because I’m fine.’

Braxiatel swallowed, shaking. He walked up to his brother, and tentatively reached out a hand, pressing it against the Doctor’s chest, between his hearts.

The Doctor nodded, and in turn reached out to return the action. 

Braxiatel gazed into his eyes, unblinking. The Doctor gazed into his. There was no warmth there. No love. No emotion.

And in that split second, the Doctor realised this man didn’t have a single ounce of his brother left inside of him.

‘N-’ he managed to get out, just as Braxiatel threw his head forward and headbutted him.

He was thrown to the floor as though on a bungee, his nose seemingly exploding with blood, nearly broken. Lying dazed on the floor, he heard Braxiatel laugh the most threatening laugh he’d ever heard in his entire life, walking away across the metal. He heard the TARDIS door open, and he looked up just in time to see Braxiatel dragging out Rose by her neck, who was carrying a small brown-haired boy, who was bleeding badly.

‘No! Get off!’ Rose cried. ‘Doctor!’

A bond deep inside him that had been hidden for so long suddenly ripped like electric through every pore of his body. That boy … the trump card the Master had talked about … the boy they’d had to send away to save him … the boy they’d had to forget to save themselves … It was Alex Tyler, his and Rose’s son, and he was badly hurt. 

‘What have you done!?’ the Doctor gasped, his vision swerving in and out.

‘Accidentally shot him. He  _ was  _ trying to evade capture,’ Braxiatel said casually.

The Doctor’s head began to spin as he pushed himself onto his knees, unable to take his eyes off of the bloodied child. 

Braxiatel threw Rose to the ground like discarding a dirty jacket. She and their unborn child hit the metal floor, and she shrieked in pain.

The Doctor could only stare.

* * *

Rose cried out as pain shot through her belly, but she quickly refocused to protect Alex, who was still bleeding. She looked at the Doctor, who was ten feet away, his nose bleeding and his eyes fixed resolutely to her and Alex.

‘Doctor!’ she cried. ‘He’s dying!’

Braxiatel laughed from above her. ‘I couldn’t catch the annoying small girl, but I think this’ll do,’ he said happily. 

The Doctor was still frozen, looking like he was in absolute shock. Rose held Alex, trying to stop the blood as she had been for the past two minutes, ever since Brax had appeared at Jack’s Scottish Torchwood safehouse and whisked her away. The boy was paling dramatically with every passing second.

Still, the Doctor was frozen.

She had to do something. 

‘What are you going to do, little brother?’ Braxiatel teased, still with his gun at her head.

The Doctor was completely inactive, and Alex was still bleeding heavily. She checked Braxiatel's position - there was utterly no way she could get any advantage. The only person who could do anything right now was the Doctor, but...

Very quickly, Rose realised what she had to do. 

She had to summon the part of the Doctor she’d been utterly terrified of for so very long. The part she had seen in his Time War memories. The part that had nearly killed her. The Oncoming Storm. The Destroyer of Worlds. The Warrior. The Bringer of Darkness. Trevor.

She had to make the Doctor so unbelievably angry that he was capable of fighting his own brother. And the Doctor was going to  _ hate  _ her for it.

‘He’s hurt your son!’ she yelled at the Doctor, focusing every bit of despair and anger she could through her bond with him. ‘Alex is bleeding to death! And now Brax is gonna shoot me!’

Braxiatel looked at her, raising an eyebrow. ‘Interesting tactic,’ he said.

‘He’s betrayed you!’ Rose cried, ignoring Braxiatel. ‘He doesn’t even need to do this! He’s just doing it for fun!’

‘Seriously, what are you doing?’ Braxiatel wondered to Rose. The Doctor still hadn’t moved. His entire face was changing into the now familiar, but still terrifying gaze of pure lack of emotion.

‘He’s not your brother anymore! He’s not even remotely him!’ she continued. ‘You gotta stop him!’

His teeth were gritting; his eyes were darkening.

'He’s gonna kill us!’

The Doctor’s psyche suddenly seemed to snap like a dry twig and he launched forward for Braxiatel in the blink of an eye. Taken by surprise, Braxiatel yelped and tried to move, but the Doctor hit him like a plough, sending him careering to the floor with a smack, the gun flying out of his hand.

Braxiatel was on his feet again quickly, jumping back to get out of his brother's reach. The Doctor also sprung up, staring at Braxiatel with true hatred, the gun now in his hand and pointing at Braxiatel.

Rose watched, half feeling scared to death and half feeling electrifying anticipation as the Doctor turned his head slightly, still staring at Braxiatel. Braxiatel's eyes were wide - clearly he hadn't been even remotely anticipating that, but he tried to save face by resuming his previous demeanor.

‘How interesting,’ he said, intrigued. 'I thought you could do many things, Theta, but that wasn't one of them.’

‘Would you like to see what else I can do?’ the Doctor wondered in a voice far too calm to be sane as he steadied the handgun to aim between Braxiatel's eyes. 

‘Come now, Theta,’ Braxiatel said, raising his arms in the air in surrender. ‘Calm down.’

‘Oh, I’m perfectly calm, Braxiatel,’ the Doctor said, still in that voice, not even blinking. He barely even seemed to be breathing. ‘I think it’s you that’s panicking.’

‘Why would I panic? You could never kill me,’ Braxiatel said positively.

The Doctor half-smiled a very dark smile. ‘As we were discussing, you don’t know me, so let me fill you in. During the Time War, me and my crew were dispatched to a small outer planet for a recce to see if the Daleks had taken it. We came across a group of natives, who looked like they were hiding something. I asked them once if there was any Dalek influence on them. They said no. So I ordered the oldest one to stand in front of me. I made him kneel. I told him to recite the alphabet backwards, and if he hesitated, then I’d shoot him. He got to “M” before he got confused. I shot him at point blank range. His head exploded, like detonating a bomb inside a pomegranate. Honest, you should have seen it. Really beautiful. I asked them again. Still they refused. So I pulled out the next oldest person, and told them to tell me three interesting facts about themselves. One was very dull, so I shot them too. I think I got through about six people before they finally gave me the information I needed. I said thank you, and walked out. Once I got back to my ship, I fired a flesh-eating bioweapon. I expect they all died in agony as they rotted away. One of my oldest and most valued crewmates expressed an opinion I didn’t like the tone of, so I flushed them out into space for insubordination. I waved them goodbye through the window of the cockpit as they died and their corpse drifted away.’

Braxiatel just stared at him. The tables had so suddenly turned, Rose realised. That story wasn’t new to her, but last time the Doctor had told it he’d been crying. This time, he told it like it was some story of one of his best memories.

‘Still,’ the Doctor said, finally lowering his gun. ‘I’ve already seen what it’s like to blow a brain apart - that’s boring now. And you deserve some respect, being my half-brother and all. How about we have a bit of fun?’

‘Fun?’ Braxiatel echoed.

‘Remember all those games we used to play? All those things we did to pass the time? Remember how fun they all were?’

‘What?’

‘Do you remember that game we used to play … Zwerchhau?’

‘Yes …’

‘Let’s play again,’ the Doctor said. ‘Only this time, it’s to the death.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Four to go! :)


	36. Nemesis: Part Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Braxiatel fight to the death in an ancient gallifreyan duel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last stretch!

The Doctor fetched the Zwerchhau weapons from inside the TARDIS, reappearing within two minutes holding two sword-like weapons. He threw one to Braxiatel, who caught it by the handle. Rose watched, mesmerised, as something thin and blue seemed to creep out of the handle and wrap itself like a vine around Braxiatel’s arm, then shoulder, then connecting directly to his temple. The vine briefly glowed, and then went dark as the sword hissed, clicked, beeped, and some a bright blue.

The Doctor did the same, only his vine and sword was red. Then they seemed to perform some sort of well-rehearsed custom. They stepped back ten paces, and then assumed positions.

'State your rules of play,’ Braxiatel said.

'Challenger starts. Two strikes, then we'll enter the melee. No upper limits on power. Call “koshka” to surrender. On surrendering, the loser renounces the right to fight and the winner will perform immediate execution of the loser. In the melee, there's no holds barred. No assistance from outside parties. No time limit. Do you accept?’

‘I accept,’ Braxiatel replied, nodding.

‘Piha poja-Rassilon-ia’gerla, ei’wi-hia’eon’hi,’ the Doctor stated, moving his arms briefly into some disciplined gesture and bowing.

‘Piha poja-Rassilon-ia’gerla, ei’hira’eon’hi,’ Braxiatel said, performing the same movements as the Doctor.

'Begin,’ the Doctor said. They both assumed stances, like they were about to start fencing. 'Five, four, three …’ the Doctor started, staring at Braxiatel and raising his sword. Rose looked at Braxiatel - he was also moving into a stance; one of defence. 'Two, one …  _ Zwerchhau!’ _

Rose gasped as the Doctor’s sword and vine suddenly glowed as he threw his arms forward, and Braxiatel seemed to freeze up and nearly fall over. He staggered a little, but shook his head to clear it and straightened back up again. Rose realised then. This was mainly a telepathic battle. 

'Good hit,’ Braxiatel said, smiling a little. 'That telepathic damage has  _ really  _ made you potent hasn't it? You use to be terrible at this.’

‘Trying to buy some time with a little chat, are we?’ the Doctor mocked.

‘Not at all,’ Braxiatel replied, and assumed an attacking stance. ‘Five, four, three, two, one …  _ Zwerchhau!’ _

The Doctor didn't appear to even flinch as Braxiatel attacked. Braxiatel looked surprised.

‘You defended well,’ Braxiatel said.

‘You're predictable, Braxiatel,’ the Doctor said. ‘That was always the first part you targeted.’

Braxiatel's eyes narrowed. ‘Take your second free hit.’

The Doctor didn't waste anymore time. ‘Five, four, three, two, one …  _ Zwerchhau!’  _ the Doctor yelled, and this time Braxiatel was sent crashing back to the floor. He jumped up again, shaking himself off.

‘Do you cede?’ the Doctor said, grinning evilly.

‘You really are a jumped up little graxx-gea, aren’t you?’ Braxiatel spat, starting to get angry now. ‘Five, four, three, two, one …  _ Zwerchhau!’ _

This time, the Doctor staggered a little.

Braxiatel laughed. ‘Oh dear, Theta, not so predictable.’

The Doctor righted himself. His sword briefly glowed as he swished it, and resumed a stance with his sword over his head. Braxiatel did the same. 

‘Commence melee,’ the Doctor said. ‘Piha poja-Rassilon-ia’gerla, ei’wi-hia’eon’hi.’

‘Piha poja-Rassilon-ia’gerla, ei’hira’eon’hi,’ Braxiatel answered.

For a moment they both just looked at each other, waiting for the other to strike. Then, Braxiatel moved. 

His sword glowed, and immediately the Doctor’s did too. The Doctor stumbled slightly, but quickly righted his footing and took a shot back. Caught by surprise, Braxiatel staggered backwards. The Doctor launched forward to lunge with his sword, but Braxiatel parried, and nearly caught the Doctor in the chest. The Doctor leapt back to avoid it, almost performing a cartwheel in the process.

Braxiatel laughed again as he inched forward. ‘Oh, you’ve been practising.’

‘So have you,’ the Doctor said as they began to circle each other, swords over their heads.

‘I hope you remember I was the best Zwerchhau player in the Time Academy. Unbeaten for forty-eight years,’ Braxiatel reminded him.

‘Say hello to the new champion,’ the Doctor spat, and fired a telepathic shot. Braxiatel blocked.

‘You’ve gotten better, Theta, but you’re still that pathetic little kid I used to practice all my moves on.’

Braxiatel punctuated that with a telepathic shot. The Doctor clearly tried to block, but was hit and sent to the floor. He got up, blinking, shaking his head and refocusing.

‘Do you remember that?’ Braxiatel baited him. ‘I used to beat you so badly your mother forbid us from playing it, but we still did. That’s you in a nutshell, Theta. You keep coming back to get beaten some more. You never knew when to give up. I tried to stop you but you just couldn’t get enough. You just  _ love  _ being beaten up.’

The Doctor suddenly launched forward, sword pointed. At the last moment he feinted right and brought his sword into Braxiatel’s arm. Braxiatel gasped, and stumbled back, checking the damage. The Doctor had drawn blood.

‘Oh, I’m sorry, was that your striking arm?’ the Doctor asked, smirking. 

Braxiatel looked furious. ‘You’ll pay for that,’ he snapped, and leapt back. He thrust his sword out, and it surged a deep, angry blue. The Doctor clearly tried to defend the telepathic shot, but he was sent hurtling backwards. He stayed down briefly, wincing and holding his ribs.

‘Do you cede?’ Braxiatel asked, laughing again.

The Doctor got to his feet, and assumed his stance again without a word. He gazed hard at Braxiatel, clearly infuriated. He then suddenly ran forward. Braxiatel blocked, but the Doctor counterattacked and slammed his sword into Braxiatel’s head, coupled with a telepathic blast that threw his brother off of his feet.

‘That’s an illegal move!’ Braxiatel cried, blood now pouring down the side of his head.

‘No holds barred, Braxiatel,’ the Doctor spat, delighted.

‘Well, if you want to play it that way …’

Braxiatel leapt to his feet and threw his sword forward, coupled with another telepathic blast. The Doctor managed to defend the sword, but he was thrown five feet across the room by the blast. Somehow, he managed to stay on his feet. He immediately counterattacked with a telepathic blast that made Braxiatel stumble, and ran forward. They met in a clash of swords. The Doctor twisted, pivoted, and slammed a blow to the other side of Braxiatel’s head.

Braxiatel screamed with anger and pain. He fired a blast that the Doctor deftly blocked. The Doctor threw his sword again, but this time Braxiatel caught it in a lock, threw his arm to one side and then hit him with a telepathic blast. The Doctor hurtled back and slammed into the wall, where he slid to the floor in a heap.

Braxiatel laughed, and pointed his sword directly at his brother, hitting him with a barrage of telepathic blasts. The Doctor cried out and bodily jolted with each one, helpless to do anything as his brother moved forward. Soon the Doctor’s nose was bleeding, and the red glow in his sword was exceptionally faded.

‘You pathetic little boy,’ Braxiatel mocked as he advanced. 

‘Come on, Doctor!’ Rose urged, still holding Alex.

The Doctor looked at her through pain filled eyes, and then at Alex. Then his teeth gritted, and he threw himself forward straight into Braxiatel. Braxiatel was the one this time who went flying. He gasped, struggling onto his knees as the Doctor pounded forward and threw his blade again. Braxiatel managed to block it, and fired a telepathic shot that made the Doctor stumble. He then grabbed the Doctor’s arm and yanked him forward to meet his sword point. The Doctor moved sidewards to avoid being stabbed, but something had clearly happened as he stumbled away, gasping, stooping and holding his sword arm. Braxiatel wasted no time in launching forward and swinging his sword down on the Doctor’s fighting arm. 

He met it, and the Doctor howled in pain. The blood quickly spread, as he dropped his sword. It hit the floor with a clatter.

‘What am I going to do with all your little human allies?’ Braxiatel wondered facetiously as the Doctor held his bloody arm, lying disarmed and vulnerable on the floor. 'Let’s see, I've got Rose right here with your unborn and your son. All of your friends are hiding in Torchwood which won't take much to tear apart, and Jack's going to be slippery, but I'll get him eventually.’

The Doctor took his sword in his other hand and stood up, shaking. Blood was dribbling out of his nose, dropping off of his chin onto his shirt from the exertion of the telepathic power he was using. ‘You really think a lot of yourself, don't you?’ the Doctor gasped. 'I never knew you were so egotistical.’

‘You are truly stupid if you think you can win this.’

‘Watch me,’ the Doctor hissed, and launched forward again. The change of hand clearly confused Braxiatel as the Doctor came in on his right and cut his leg. Braxiatel raged and swung back, slamming straight into his injured ribs. The Doctor screamed out, but didn't stop as he threw back another telepathic blast with such ferocity Braxiatel was sent flying right across the room, slamming into the far wall. He screamed and staggered up.

'Do you cede?’ the Doctor asked as he panted.

‘Not before you're dead,’ Braxiatel rasped. 

They staggered towards each other, clearly both angry, injured, and exhausted physically and mentally. Rose could only watch, petrified as to what would happen next.

They simultaneously fired, and they both hit the floor again. The Doctor was up first, and running. He went straight to Braxiatel, and they locked swords. The Doctor twisted, and struck a blow to Braxiatel’s side. His brother tried to get up but the Doctor had already run to him, stepped on his fighting arm to disarm him and put his sword directly in front of the centre of his throat.

'I win,’ the Doctor grated.

'Claim your prize, Theta,’ Braxiatel gasped, lifting his arms to open himself to attack. 

'Doctor!’ Rose cried quickly, struggling to her feet.

He didn't look at her. 'Don’t interrupt me.’

'Doctor, it's over, you can stop,’ Rose begged. 'You’ve won.’

The Doctor hesitated, but didn't lift the point of his sword from Braxiatel's throat. 'I have to kill him.’

'No, no you don't,’ Rose said quickly. 'You need to help your son.’

'But he's the one that  _ shot  _ him!’ the Doctor roared, tears falling from his eyes. 

'You need to help Alex or he's gonna die!’ Rose cried.

The Doctor flinched a little, clearly highly conflicted in his head over what he was going to do.

'Please,’ Rose begged, 'come back to me. Please be the Doctor again. Alex needs you. Please.’

The Doctor's teeth gritted. He still hadn't blinked. 'To the death,’ he grated.

'Killin’ him won't make it better, it won't change what he's done to you,’ Rose said desperately. 'It won't change what he's done to Alex. You have to stop this. Doctor.’

‘Kill me, Theta,’ Braxiatel said happily. ‘Just slash my throat. Or are you so incompetent and full of human idiocy that you can’t even do that anymore? Call yourself a Time Lord.’

_ ‘Don’t,’  _ Rose stressed. ‘He knows it’ll hurt you, he knows it’ll be in your head forever, he  _ knows  _ it’ll ruin you. Just stop. Let him go.’

The Doctor still didn’t look at her. ‘Just tell me one thing, Braxiatel. Falling to Toby had to be a slow degradation. Inch by inch my real brother slipped away, but at one point, you stopped being him completely. So tell me. What was the last thing I ever said to my real brother before he died?’

Braxiatel paused, before a slow, creepy smile widened across his face. ‘That really bothers you, doesn’t it?’

‘What was the last thing I said to him?’ the Doctor repeated firmly.

Braxiatel maintained his smile. ‘Come closer, and I’ll tell you.’

‘Don’t think so,’ the Doctor grated.

Braxiatel’s smile widened. ‘... Then I guess you'll never know.’

The Doctor fumed, affirming his grip on the sword. He tensed, like he was braced to slash Braxiatel's throat. 

_ ‘Please,  _ Doctor,’ Rose begged.

Finally, he briefly glanced at her. He was expressionless, but Rose could feel him still on fire inside. He looked back at Braxiatel.

‘I hate you,’ he told his brother, his voice shaking. 'But I'm not on your level. I won't kill you. I'm not giving you that satisfaction. So take this champion's command. Leave me, leave my family, leave my friends, leave Earth, and I  _ never  _ want to see you again.’

Braxiatel just stared at him.

'Swear it!’ the Doctor snapped, pushing his sword a little so he drew some blood from Braxiatel's throat. 

'I swear,’ Braxiatel said simply.

The Doctor then sagged, and stumbled, dropping the sword. He gazed at Braxiatel briefly, before he turned to make his way to Alex.

‘You fool,’ Braxiatel grated suddenly, and launched forward. He tackled the Doctor from behind, sending the other Time Lord flying to the floor. He raised his sword in both hands, ready to plunge it in the Doctor's back. 

Rose screamed and tried to move forward to stop him. The Doctor twisted himself quickly but he couldn't clear the path, and the sword plunged down into his shoulder, right in the nerve cluster.

The Doctor screamed like Rose had never heard him scream before. Her entire body seemed to flash with excruciating heat as the bond suddenly screamed inside her, feeling like it was grabbing her by the shoulders and roughly shaking her. 

‘Oh, Theta,’ Braxiatel almost sung as his brother dried out and contorted in pain below him. ‘Amateur mistake. I thought you were clever. Did you  _ really  _ think swearing means anything to me?’

The Doctor violently spasmed, and passed out.

‘Get off of him!’ Rose screamed, grabbing Braxiatel’s arm to try and pull him off. Braxiatel deftly pulled his sword out of the Doctor’s shoulder and threw the point across where Rose was standing.

He only just missed slicing her belly - and consequently Theo - in half.

Theo seemed to do a backflip inside her as she immediately cried out in a combination of panic, shock, and terror, and fell to her knees, holding her bump in a futile attempt to protect Theo. ‘Doctor!’ she yelled desperately, but he was still unconscious.

‘Pathetic,’ Braxiatel spat, as he slowly started moving towards her. ‘So weak. Cannot even muster the will to run. The human race are so unbelievably useless at living. It hurts me that Theta is actively and purposely diluting gallifreyan DNA with human amoeba like you.’

He lifted the sword, pointing it at her belly.

‘Don’t kill him,’ Rose begged, crying in fear.

‘Say please,’ Braxiatel said.

‘Please!’ she gasped. ‘I’ll do anythin’, yeah? Just please don’t hurt our baby!’

‘Interesting proposition,’ Braxiatel stated thoughtfully. ‘What on Gallifrey could you do for me?’

‘We’ll give you the last key of the Moirai,’ she said quickly, barely able to get the words out through her panic. 

Braxiatel laughed. ‘You think I care about that?’

‘Ain’t that what this is all about!?’

Braxiatel laughed again. ‘So stupid,’ he spat, and raised his sword. ‘Good bye, Rose. It was lovely to meet you.’

Suddenly, the Doctor rose up behind Braxiatel, and promptly hit him on a point behind his ear. Braxiatel fell to the floor, immediately unconscious.

For a moment, Rose just stood there, horrified as the Doctor collapsed, holding his shoulder. Braxiatel had plunged his sword straight into the nerve cluster - he had to be in completely agony. She only just registered the figure of Jack suddenly bursting out of the TARDIS and running past her, throwing something at Braxiatel. A shield sprang up around the unconscious Time Lord, trapping him.

'Doctor!’ Jack cried, running to the Time Lord and pulling out a medical kit. 'Getting stabbed wasn't part of the plan!’

‘A-Alex,’ the Doctor managed, and Jack nodded. He ran to the boy.

It was only then Rose jolted back to the real world. She went to the Doctor, managing to get down on her knees beside him. She quickly pulled off her hoody and covered the wound as the Doctor whined, jolting slightly as he inhaled and exhaled shaky breaths, staring up at nothing.

‘Doctor,’ she said through her tears. She reached up to brush back his hair, but he quickly turned his head away.

_ ‘No,’  _ his voice suddenly said in her head.

‘You gotta let me …’

_ ‘No,’ _ he repeated.  _ ‘Don’t take this …’ _

Rose realised then. He didn’t want her to risk feeling just how much pain he was in.

‘I don’t care,’ she said.

_ ‘No,’ _ he repeated, twisting his head back to look at her. He was starting to shake. He looked directly at her belly where Theo resided.

She got the message, loud and clear. ‘Okay, I won’t touch your head,’ she promised.

_ ‘I can’t feel my legs …’ _

‘Don’t worry, you’re just in shock,’ she found herself saying without really thinking. ‘He got you right in the nerve cluster. Just breathe, you’re gonna be fine, I promise.’

She took hold of his hand and held it to her chest, despairing at the noises the Doctor was making with every breath he took. She checked Jack, who was still busy with Alex.

‘Let me out!’ a voice suddenly roared from her left - Braxiatel was awake, and trapped in the invisible box Jack had thrown at him. The Doctor flinched horrendously at the sound of his voice.

Rose shot him a look that could’ve burnt a hole right through his head. ‘Shut the hell up!’

Braxiatel looked very confused. ‘What? Rose! Why am I in here!? Thete’s hurt!’

Rose snorted a very cynical, hateful laughter. ‘Don’t try that, you bastard.’

Braxiatel paused, and smiled. ‘Worth a try. Hey, I got him right in the nerve cluster. That’s gotta hurt.’

‘Shut up,’ Rose spat, and from that point on ignored everything he said, just holding the Doctor’s hand. 

* * *

Twenty minutes later Jack had run Alex to the infirmary, and returned to do everything he could for the Doctor. By the end of it, the Time Lord was sitting up, looking dazed, with his eyes red. Braxiatel had been complaining, but Jack had deftly muted him. Rose had really appreciated that.

‘Doc told me to hide with you and Leah in the Tardis if Brax came for us,’ Jack was saying. ‘Thank god we made it.’

‘Leah’s here!?’ Rose asked, panicking a little.

‘I told her to stay in the infirmary with Alex, he’s okay, it looks worse than it is,’ he said. ‘I’ve locked it all down. No one’s getting in. But Doctor,’ he said, looking at the Time Lord. ‘The Tardis got my attention and showed me something on the monitor - there’s a huge energy source here, like, off of the scale. the Tardis isn’t even registering this as a place. It’s like it doesn’t exist.’ He then pointed at some metal doors to their right, across the expanse of the platform they were standing on, ‘and to top it all off, there’s one lifeform registering from that room.’

‘Toby,’ the Doctor muttered, pushing himself to his haunches as if trying to find the will to stand up. ‘He’s waiting for me.’

‘You can’t be serious,’ Rose said.

‘Today’s not the day,’ Jack said quickly. ‘Don’t do this.’

‘Just run,’ Rose agreed, nodding.

‘I can’t run, not this time,’ the Doctor said, staring at the far doors. ‘He’s gone too far. He’s done too much. I won’t let him keep on winning.’

‘He’s gonna kill you,’ Jack stressed. ‘You can’t stop him like this. You can barely walk.’

‘He’s killed my brother,’ the Doctor replied, his expression suddenly darkening. He scooped up his fallen sword, and stood up.

‘Shit,’ Jack breathed, helping Rose to stand up. ‘Doctor, this isn’t like you.’

‘Probably not,’ the Doctor agreed, still staring at the doors. ‘But I can’t forgive him. I have to stop him before he takes anyone else. I won’t let him have you. He’s had too much already. He’s destroyed our lives, and Braxiatel’s dead because of him. I know this isn’t what I normally do and I know this isn’t me, but I’m making a decision. I know I’m going to suffer for it; I know my conscience is going to take a hit; I know I’ve spent so long being against this, but I have to end it. At any cost. I’ve exhausted all the other avenues. This is the only option left, and I’m so, so sorry, but this can’t go on. If we run now, he’s just going to keep chasing us, killing each of you one by one until there’s no one left. We’re so vulnerable, and that terrifies me. I can’t spend the rest of my life being scared of what he might do to the people I love. I can’t wake up every morning thinking about defensive strategies to protect you. I can’t go back to being a commander. I don’t want to kill him, but I might have to, and when that point happens, I won’t hesitate. He's got no honour. No love. There's nothing inside him I can appeal to. Running isn’t going to work this time. Please understand me.’

He finally looked at her, pleading, as if asking for her approval. Rose gazed at him, puzzled. She couldn’t see Trevor; this was her Doctor. This was her weapon-hating, kind, intelligent, funny, beautiful alien husband, making a logical decision to kill someone. There was no malice there, just desperation.

She loved him enough to decide that this was his decision, and she wasn’t going to stand in his way.

‘Okay, do what you need to do, yeah?’ she said. ‘But you’re not dyin’. He’s not takin’ you as well. Then once whatever happens happens, then I’ll be here for you.’

‘Promise?’ he asked, sounding so small and vulnerable.

‘I promise,’ she said.

He nodded. ‘Thank you. Please forgive me.’

‘Already forgiven,’ Jack assured him.

‘Get in the Tardis,’ the Doctor ordered, wiping off the blood on his sword on his trousers. ‘Stay there.’

Rose and Jack looked at each other. ‘No,’ they both said at the same time.

‘I’m with you,’ Rose said.

‘Me too,’ Jack agreed.

‘Please,’ he begged.

‘Not happenin’,’ Rose said. ‘You’re not alone. You’ll never be alone.’

‘You’re stuck with us, now,’ Jack joked half-heartedly.

‘We’ll look after ourselves. We won’t stop you, whatever you decide to do,’ Rose added.

Jack instigated a three-way hug, careful not to jar the Doctor’s wounds. Then they all drew back.

‘Here we go,’ the Doctor muttered, and started limping to the doors. Without a word, Jack and Rose followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:  
> Piha poja-Rassilon-ia’gerla, ei’wi-hia’eon’hi - For Rassilon’s honour, I challenge your strength  
> Piha poja-Rassilon-ia’gerla, ei’hira’eon’hi - For Rassilon’s honour, I meet your strength  
> Koshka - Stop  
> Graxx-gea - Basically ... 'Total motherfucker'


	37. Nemesis: Part Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor, Rose, and Jack confront Toby.

The Doctor, Rose, and Jack emerged into the only part of the ship that actually seemed to be in one piece. It was clearly the bridge - as pristine white as the Doctor could see only when he closed his eyes, futuristic, and very clean. There were workstations staggered upwards with steps running up the middle, leading to the view of endless space through the screen above, where a single chair was standing.

The Doctor glanced at Rose and Jack, and then reaffirmed his grip on the sword. ‘Toby!’ he called.

The chair spun, and there he was, relaxed in the chair. He was exactly as the Doctor had last seen him, after the Tower of London incident. He had the stolen face of the handsome actor Clint Mendoza who had died so horribly. The Doctor knew on the inside he had healthy proficient organs harvested from his other captives. He had taken the best bits of humanity and given himself the ultimate body - heart, brain, lungs - the lot. Frankenstein’s monster, made flesh.

‘Ah, finally,’ Toby said, smiling. ‘That was pretty entertaining. What _are_ you going to do with Braxiatel, then?’

‘I’d rather talk about what I’m going to do with you,’ the Doctor said.

‘Straight to business, then,’ Toby said, and gestured around him. ‘Do you know of this place, Doctor?’

‘No.’

‘Well, then let me fill you in. This, Doctor, is the greatest weapon ever to be created in the history and future of the entire universe. This is a starship capable of relying on telepathic systems, ripping apart matter itself, and time travel, to name a few. This ship is completely undetectable and indestructible. How do I know it’s indestructible? Because once the creators realised what a terrible thing they’d created, they decided the only way they could destroy it was to put it in the middle of the Big Bang. And even that didn’t really work.’ He gestured around him as a point of note. ‘Sure, it's been a little fractured, but it’s still accessible. Especially for you.’

‘So what,’ the Doctor began, ‘you’re going to get it back to working condition and destroy everything with it?’

‘That’s the plan,’ Toby said, nodding. ‘But there’s a bit of a problem. The Big Bang may not have destroyed the ship, but it split apart the power cell and scattered the pieces of it across time and space. Ten pieces, to be precise.’

‘The Moirai,’ Jack realised.

Toby beamed. ‘Give the man a piñata.’

‘So the keys are the power cell of this ship, broken into ten pieces,’ the Doctor said. ‘This ship is the Moirai.’

‘So called as it was said to be so powerful it altered fate itself,’ Toby said, nodding. ‘Down the millenia, stories have got more and more mythical around the fragments, but essentially this is the source of the entire thing.’

‘And it was built by the Disciples of the Light,’ the Doctor assumed. ‘The same people who trapped the Beast on Krop Tor - the planet that orbited the black hole.’

‘Yep. Clever people, weren’t they?’

‘So I take it you were the black-cloaked figure who kept leaping in to steal the keys from us?’ the Doctor wondered. ‘You’re desperate to form that power cell.’

‘I was, but it wasn’t quite for that reason,’ Toby replied. ‘I needed you to find them for me, and you needed some encouragement. So I took the first few to get you going, thinking you had some opposition. You’ve done the rest for me.’

‘Then you’ve got another problem. There’s only four fragments of the Moirai left,’ the Doctor informed him. ‘Even if you find them this ship won’t work at full capacity.’

‘I don’t _need_ this ship working at full capacity,’ Toby said, laughing a little. ‘It's so powerful, even a quarter power would do. I’ve already got three parts, and now you’re here, I’ve got four.’

‘Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t have the final key,’ the Doctor said.

Toby laughed. ‘You didn’t work it out, yet?’

‘What?’ 

‘I guess you’ve probably been wondering for a while whether you’re mixing up reality and fantasy, Doctor. Have you wondered whether, actually, you’re still inside the rift? When you jumped in to stop the lergri, did you ever actually come out? Or are you still in there? Is all this just one big fantasy? Is that why nothing’s been making sense since you woke up in that alley? Maybe, this has all been one long nightmare of a man suspended in the rift. Or maybe, that grenade you were holding is about to detonate, and your life is currently flashing before your eyes, just before it explodes and kills you permanently?’ 

The Doctor internally panicked. ‘This is real,’ he said firmly.

‘You don’t sound so sure.’

‘I’m done with playing games, I want facts,’ the Doctor snapped, getting angry now. 

Tony snorted with laughter. ‘By now you must’ve realised how much I was getting Braxiatel to manipulate you. He lied, Doctor, quite a lot, starting a very long time ago.’

The Doctor realised then, as his previous thoughts came true. ‘There was never a lergri in me. It was something else.’

‘Correct,’ Toby said. ‘And let’s have a little guess what that was, shall we?’

‘The final key?’ Rose gasped.

‘How do you think you’ve been finding all these keys so easily?’ Toby wondered. ‘How else do you think you can see what this ship looked like if you close your eyes? How else have you been able to see the future? That’s why I needed you to find them. Only you could. Don’t underestimate just how powerful this ship is, Doctor. It’s sentient, and it’s trying to auto-repair. It manipulated your fate like silly putty to try and put itself back together. I just gave it a helping hand.’

‘How is one inside him?’ Jack asked.

Toby shrugged. ‘No idea. Maybe it picked you specifically, maybe you got it while you were in the rift. Either way, it doesn’t matter. I want that key, and you’re going to give it to me.’

‘Fat chance,’ Rose scoffed.

Toby looked at her, and laughed. ‘Oh. You know so little, you stupid bitch.’

The Doctor’s eyes dropped to Toby’s wrist, where there was a vortex manipulator. Toby followed his gaze.

‘Taken from a stupid Time Agent,’ he informed them, looking at Jack.

Jack checked his own wrist. The manipulator was still there.

‘From another _time,_ idiot,’ Toby said condescendingly. ‘Don’t suppose you even remember the time I got accidentally teleported with you, do you? I went on a little trip, right to the Time Agent HQ. I stole the manipulator and got back with it. Ever since then, I’ve had it. Very useful for Braxiatel and the Master.’

‘How did you manage to control them?’ Rose asked dryly.

‘If you’re worrying about whether I’m going to make your husband give me the key through mind control, worry no more,’ Toby assured her. ‘The Master and Braxiatel were both slowly broken over a very long period of time. It’s been about forty years altogether. Even a Time Lord can’t hold out for forty years. So no, I can’t control your mind right here and now, Doctor, but you _will_ give me that key of your own free will. I can guarantee you that.’

‘And how do you expect to do that?’ the Doctor wondered brazenly. ‘I’m giving you nothing. I suppose you're going to threaten Rose or Theo with guns?’

Toby laughed. ‘Don’t be so crass. I respect you, Doctor, and that would be a very pathetic way to get what I need. Besides, I don't _need_ that. I’ve got the advantage, see, because I know nearly everything about you. How? Because I’ve always been with you. In the shadows, lurking away, watching you ever since you destroyed my life when I was only eight-years-old.’

‘Then let me help you,’ the Doctor said. ‘Whatever I did, I’ll fix it.’

‘You can’t fix it,’ Toby replied. ‘Because you don’t have a fucking clue who I am, and that’s why this is so goddamn funny.’

‘Then tell me,’ the Doctor persisted. ‘I want to help you, Toby.’

‘You’re so fucking stupid it’s actually painful. All of you. Just so stupid.’

‘Tell me,’ the Doctor repeated firmly.

Toby laughed. ‘You just can’t work it out. Nobody ever asks about me. People don’t care. People don’t ask. In the story of the Doctor I get small paragraphs, little dialogue, because I’m just a background convenience. I’m a minor character. But I was there. I was there all the time, watching you, studying you, listening to everything you said and did. I was going along in the background, all the time. From the moment you took me from my father my hatred for you built and built, and nobody checked it. I was just a problem child. Leah was always the star kid. I just got ignored. It turned me into what I am today. Finally, a major character, and a major problem. Your major problem. All I had to do to completely baffle you was change my name. But only by one letter. That’s how much you paid attention. One letter and you’re completely fucking confused by me. Because you never gave a shit.’

The Doctor’s hearts froze as he realised which letter that was, and who Toby was.

‘Tony,’ he muttered.

‘Bingo,’ Toby grated, madness in his eyes.

‘Tony!?’ Rose gasped.

‘Hey, sis,’ Tony said, looking straight at her. ‘Thank you for having a conversation about names in front of me when I was eight-years-old. I wonder if you even noticed me standing there?’

‘What?’ she asked, wrong-footed.

‘Knowing someone’s name is just about the best weapon you could have. Especially someone like the Doctor, who has a million enemies.’

‘You don’t know my name,’ the Doctor said firmly. 

‘No, I don’t. Funnily enough, that was the one thing Braxiatel never told me, no matter how much I tried. So maybe I should tell the Universe another name they may be interested in.’

‘No,’ the Doctor said quickly, knowing exactly what he meant.

‘Oh, but yes,’ Tony said joyfully. ‘I think a lot of people would be interested to know the name of the Doctor’s daughter.’

‘Don’t you dare.’

‘That’s not a secret,’ Jack pointed out. 

‘No, Jack,’ Rose muttered, shaking. ‘He’s talking about her _real_ name.’

‘What?’

‘Go on,’ Tony encouraged the Doctor. ‘Tell him.’

The Doctor realised he had no choice. He looked at Jack. ‘... After we got imprisoned in the Proclamation I realised that Leah was going to be a target, people were going to use her name against her. I had to protect her. So we gave her another name. Her real name. Her gallifreyan name. A name we pretend she doesn’t have. She doesn’t remember the ceremony we had, like a name day on Gallifrey. Only me and Rose. It … It keeps her safe.’

‘Not for much longer,’ Tony teased. ‘I was right outside the kitchen when you two decided on it from that dumb book you gave Leah. Inaralia. And from that I’m guessing Alex’s real name is Kershan.’

The Doctor died a little inside. ‘Stop it,’ he said firmly. ‘Look, I accept that I took you away from your dad, but it was to save you and your mum. Your dad was getting dangerous.’

‘We were never in danger,’ Tony spat. ‘My stupid mother thought stupid things, and you’re the one that took away my dad. Twice. I fucking hate you. All of you. Ever since I was abducted by you you’ve all been jumping around in your fancy blue box saving the universe. The only time you stopped ignoring me was to tell me off. Everything my dad did was right. Aliens are the enemy of us, and that includes you, my sister, for fucking an alien and birthing alien spawn. So you want to know how you’re going to do what I want, Doctor? I’ve not only got the names of your daughter and your son, but also right now I’m eleven-years-old, and inside Torchwood Tate in lockdown with all your little friends. Who knows what I’ve told my eleven-year-old self to do?’

‘You’re sick,’ Rose muttered, horrified. 

‘Sick? No. Just well prepared,’ Tony corrected. ‘This has been happening for longer than you could ever know, Doctor. I’ve been twisting your life for so long. It was handy having my younger self inside your Tardis, ready to open teleport channels to let me in, where we surrounded ourselves with books in your library on gallifreyan anatomy that I could study and use against you all. At first I was amateur - I tried to kill your daughter in the hairdressers with a feeble plan, I tried to impersonate the Unit doctor. But then I stepped up. I found that recording of the Shadow Architect warning of your child wiping out the Proclamation, and gave it to them so they would make your life hell. I just got better and better as I learnt more about you and your ways. Every fail made me more clever. But don’t credit me, it’s just what I was destined to do. My eleven-year-old self is about to witness Jack returning, announcing your horrific death at my hands. And that was when I knew what I had to do. I’ve had that information for so long. I’ve known for forty years that I would eventually kill you. It’s all been building to this - all for this moment. Because today is the day the Doctor loses. You can’t win. Everything has fallen into place. Fate is about to completely fuck you over. A Lord of Time, killed by fate. Isn’t that funny? The Moirai is going to ensure it. Your destiny is to die today, and you can’t do a thing about it without ripping the Universe apart.’

The Doctor, Jack, and Rose stayed silent. 

Tony laughed. ‘No smart comebacks? No pointing out the flaw in my logic and telling me why I’m wrong?’

‘What do you want, Toby?’ the Doctor asked flatly.

‘Simply, I want you dead. I also want that key inside you. So. Are you going to comply and consent to being killed, or shall I make sure every lifeform you’ve ever pissed off knows the names of your children, and hunts and tortures them for the rest of their inevitably short little lives, whilst my eleven-year-old self rampages around Torchwood?’

The Doctor stared at him, horrified. He didn’t even look at his two companions. It took a few moments, before he clearly decided what he was going to do.

He dropped the sword.

‘No,’ Rose gasped.

‘I have to,’ the Doctor said weakly.

‘There’s a good boy,’ Tony encouraged. ‘Come and stand here, Doctor.’ He gestured to a space beside him. ‘No funny business, Harkness.’

Jack’s eyes narrowed as the Doctor turned back to them. He looked so defeated.

‘I’m sorry,’ he muttered. ‘This is my fault.’

‘No it goddamn isn’t,’ Jack said, his teeth gritted. ‘Don’t you fucking dare …’

'I don't have a choice …’

‘You can’t do this,’ Rose said quickly, her eyes filling up. ‘It can’t happen this way …’

‘I’m losing patience,’ Tony said loudly in a singsong voice.

The Doctor hugged them both tightly. ‘Don’t watch,’ he whispered, and kissed them both. He briefly rested his hand on Rose’s belly, and nodded at her.

A voice came into her head. His voice. Telepathic communication.

_‘If this is what destiny is, then let's see it out together. I love you, Rose.’_

She frowned, but he just turned, and limped up the steps to Tony.

‘Good boy,’ Tony said, and slapped a hand on the Doctor’s wounded shoulder. The Doctor groaned and sank to his knees as a consequence, choking out a breath. He ended up kneeling in front of Tony with his head stooped. ‘Any final words?’

‘Get on with it,’ the Doctor spat out, still winded.

‘Fair enough,’ Tony replied. ‘Thanks for the entertainment, Doctor,’ he said as he reached behind him, and grasped a gun.

_‘If this is what destiny is, then let's see it out together. I love you, Rose.’_

He’d said that, Rose realised, just after his future self had returned to change his past. Back then, they’d changed their apparent fate not once, but _twice._

Tony leisurely checked the gun was loaded.

This wasn’t right, she realised. The Doctor had always maintained there was no such thing as destiny, just fixed points, and for all intents and purposes, he was right. The Moirai had been controlling their path temporarily, but that was just an effort to self-repair - to get the Doctor where he needed to go to fix the ship. Besides. The Moirai hadn’t said anything about him dying today. In fact, it had shown him a future beyond this moment, a key, given to him from his future self. If the Doctor died now, he couldn’t give his past self the key. Didn’t Tony know that?

As the thought lingered in her head, Tony looked directly at Rose, and smirked. She slammed back down to the cold, hard earth, and the reality of what was happening.

Her little brother, she thought.

He raised the gun and aimed it directly at her husband's head.

_‘If this is what destiny is, then let's see it out together. I love you, Rose.’_

This wasn’t their destiny, she realised. This wasn’t any kind of fixed point. Just like the Doctor in his plan against Braxiatel, Tony had taken the facts and interpreted the future according to how he wanted it to be.

Something inside her snapped. The bond blew up. Wild, pure anger burst inside every cell of her body … Everything this man had done - got her husband tortured twice, nearly killed Leah three times, killed fifty-four people in one fell swoop, nearly killed Alex, got her husband terminally ill, killed, and exiled, killed her husband's brother, and now, he was brazenly pointing a gun at the man she adored.

Then she was moving. Before she knew it, her hand had launched out to grab the Doctor’s fallen sword and she started to run up the steps with some sort of superhuman power. Her arm seemed to move by instinct in her blurry, panicked vision, and things seemed to momentarily black out before she could see nothing but Tony, staring at her with his eyes full of a combination of shock, pain, and bewilderment. She was very confused, until she looked at her hand, and realised what she’d done.

She’d stabbed him, the blade pointed upwards through his chest and directly where his heart was.

She just stared, horrified. Her insides felt like they’d turned to ice. The handle of her sword was taken away from her grip as Tony collapsed.

Time distorted, and she couldn’t seem to move. She had no idea how long she stayed there, staring at Tony. She closed her eyes, praying it would all go away if she kept them closed long enough. Suddenly she felt something on her arm. She squealed a little and flinched, but the pressure didn’t turn malevolent.

‘R-Rose,’ the Doctor’s voice said, struggling.

She opened her eyes, and saw him kneeling in front of her, holding her arm with a bloody hand. He was clearly in a significant amount of pain. She launched forward to hug the Doctor, immediately bursting into tears.

‘Oh god, oh god,’ she managed, looking over the Doctor’s shoulder to see Tony on the floor, now unmoving. ‘I stabbed him, I stabbed him …’

‘It’s okay,’ the Doctor whispered. 

‘I stabbed him, I stabbed him,’ she said again, unable to say anything else. ‘Oh god …’

‘R-Rose, look at m-me,’ he gasped, taking her face in his bloody hands. ‘It’s ok-kay, I prom-mise it’s okay.’

'H-Help him,’ she gasped. 'Please …’

He kissed her, and placed his forehead on hers. _'Don’t worry, just breathe. That's all you need to do,’_ he said telepathically.

'Help him!’ she yelled, suddenly angry. She hit the Doctor's chest, and he choked out in pain.

'No, no, I'm sorry!’ she said, shaking as she grabbed his face in both hands, crying. ‘I’m s-sorry …’

‘R-Rose,’ he said, and put their foreheads together again.

‘I k-killed him ...’

 _‘Just hug me. I'm not going anywhere,’_ the Doctor stressed telepathically again, and pulled her into a one-armed hug. 

Rose buried her head into the Doctor’s chest, crying so hard she thought her tear ducts were about to rupture. She couldn't believe it. This wasn't real. It was some kind of horrible nightmare, right? How could she have spent all that time stopping the Doctor from killing his brother when she could do this?

She couldn't have just stabbed her little brother.

‘Help him,’ she begged the Doctor. ‘P-please.’

The Doctor checked over his shoulder. Jack was already by Tony. Eventually he looked up at the Time Lord, and shook his head.

For twenty minutes she just hugged the Doctor and cried, staring over his shoulder at her brother’s bloody corpse.


	38. Destiny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose struggles to comprehend what she’s just done. The creators of the Moirai grant her one request.

Jack had left to sort out the debris of what had happened as Rose stayed absolutely still and silent now she’d run out of tears. The Doctor didn’t move, just letting her hold onto him like a rock in a storm.

He hated this.

This little idyllic life he’d built for himself seemed to have been completely destroyed in the space of one hour, by a single man. Not only that, but from now until the day she died all Rose was going to think about was those three seconds of complete madness. She was now stained forever. 

The worst part was, it was all his fault. He’d been kidding himself, for all these years, that he would be able to cope with this kind of life. But he hadn’t been able to. He’d tried,  _ so  _ hard to make it work. But it was now clear that he couldn't.

He’d led her to this. This was his fault. It was his life that he’d forced her to lead. She was never meant to be like this. He’d taken an innocent and infected her with death. He had the audacity to call himself a doctor, but right now, he couldn’t conceive of anything he could prescribe that was going to heal this.

He realised that despite being dead and not fulfilling his aim, Tony had ultimately won.

Jack came back quietly, stooping to his haunches to the Time Lord. ‘Braxiatel’s now in the Tardis console room in his containment field, Tony’s body’s there too. I’m keeping the door to the infirmary closed so Leah won’t wander out.’

‘They’re okay?’

‘Both fine. Leah wants to know what’s going on, though.’

The Doctor nodded. ‘Go to her. We’ll follow in a bit.’

Jack nodded, glancing at Rose before he got up, and left again.

After a few more silent minutes, the Doctor pulled back and gazed at her. She looked so lost and disassociated from reality. 

‘... I really killed him, didn’t I?’ she finally said.

‘Yeah,’ he replied. There was nothing else to say to that.

‘This is horrible,’ she whispered.

‘I know.’

‘This feelin’ is what you have, every day, isn’t it?’

‘Yes.’

‘... Does it ever get better?’

He decided not to disguise anything. ‘The first kill is the worst. For me, some days it swells up, other days I forget about it. But it’s always inside me. Throbbing away. So far, it’s never got better. There’s just good days and bad days. I’ve always wondered if it feels the same for other people.’

‘It … It feels like there’s some ugly, horrible beast inside me, filled with my blood, right in my chest. Covered in veins that throb every time my heart beats. It's part of me. It keeps roarin’ and shakin’ my insides. Every time it roars a little bit of me dies,’ she said.

He nodded. ‘That’s what I feel.’

‘But it’s worse for you,’ she croaked. ‘It wasn’t just one person.’

‘Actually, the more people you kill the less it seems to matter,’ the Doctor replied honestly. ‘After a while, it feels inconsequential. Just a number. A kill count. But the beast’s still inside, and it grows and grows as you keep feeding it with all the people you kill. The day you stop, it starts getting hungry. It knows you’re not going to feed it again, so it roars louder and louder and louder. It hurts, more and more.’

He could barely believe he was having this conversation with her. He’d never imagined in a million years he would have to.

‘God, yeah, it hurts,’ she whined.  _ ‘So  _ much. I want this to stop. I want this feelin’ to go away …’

‘You’re never going to forget this. It’s never going to go away. I’m sorry.’

‘Help me,’ she begged, looking at him with shining, hopeful eyes. ‘Wipe my memory, or somethin’, anythin’ …’

‘It won’t help,’ he said quietly. ‘Believe me, I tried. The beast is still there. It still roars. It’s almost worse, because you have no idea why you feel so horrible. You’ve got nothing to direct it at. You start to feel psychotic, because you don't know why you’re so angry and sad. I won’t do that to you.’

She choked out a huge sob, and fell onto him. ‘I dunno how you got through this. I dunno how you live with it.’

He impulsively kissed her forehead. ‘This is the moment you decide what you’re going to do. The beast is born, and there’s no going back. Either you submit to it, or you fight. Please don't go the same way I did.’

‘But I can’t fight this ... I just can’t. I can’t face it. I killed him, Doctor.’ She raised her bloody hands and stared at them, shaking slightly. ‘What the hell am I gonna tell my mum?’

He pushed her hands down, and covered them. ‘I’m going to do everything I can for you. You’re not going to lose. You don’t have to face this alone. I’ll help you fight.’

‘I’m so scared.’

‘I know. But you’ve got me. Whatever happens. It doesn’t matter whether the monsters are standing five feet in front of us or if they’re in your head. I’ll find a way to beat them. I’m not going to pretend this is going to be easy. This is going to be hard. Really hard. But whenever you need me, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. You saved me from this, and now it’s my turn to save you. But you have to promise me you won’t give up. Don’t let it win. Please.’

‘Okay.’

‘Promise.’

‘I promise. … I’m so sorry I did this to you,’ she whispered.

‘You’ve done nothing to me,’ he said. ‘In fact, you saved my life back there. My first kill was for nothing but to satisfy my own anger. Knowing you did it to save another life won’t save you from the guilt, but it’s something to think about. More than I had.’

‘I love you.’

‘I love you too,’ he replied without hesitation, and kissed her.

She looked at him sitting there, covered in bruises, cuts, and blood. ‘God. Look at you. You’re wrecked.’

‘I’ll live,’ he assured her, smiling a little. He wasn’t about to tell her that every twinge he made he was struggling not to cry out. ‘All in all, today's been pretty rubbish, hasn't it?’

Finally, he saw a ghost of a smile. He grinned back.

'How can you do that?’ she asked, her face suddenly dropping.

‘What?’

‘After everything that's happened … you can make a joke. It feels wrong. But I dunno if that's right or wrong. But then again, I've just killed my own brother to save you.’ She laughed, hysterically. ‘Oh god, I don't even know my own head anymore. I don’t know if it was right to do that.’

‘Welcome to the club,’ he said. ‘Morality is complicated. I try not to think about what's right and wrong. It’s better that way. But you saved my life.’

She choked out a sob, holding him again. 

‘C’mon,’ he said. ‘Let’s get back to Torchwood.’

‘I can’t,’ she croaked.

‘Yeah, you can,’ the Doctor said gently, cupping her face. ‘We’re going to break this down into parts. Baby steps. All we’re going to do right now is stand up. You can do that. That’s not scary, is it?’

Rose swallowed, searching the floor with her eyes. ‘... No.’

The Doctor struggled upright using a nearby console, pain shooting through every fibre of his being, but he hid it from her as best he could. She followed him, struggling upright.

‘Now, we’re going to walk to the door of this room,’ the Doctor said carefully as she sought out his hand. ‘Take all the time you need.’

They started to walk, when suddenly the entire room seemed to flash. Rose stopped immediately, gasping and panicking. 

The Doctor held onto her. ‘Just a malfunction,’ he assured her, despite having no idea. He sped up a little. Even a malfunction would indicate the ship was powering up somehow, and if he was part of the power cell he didn’t particularly want to find out what would happen. He wanted to get as far away from this place as possible. ‘C’mon.’

Rose obliged, trusting him completely. They were nearly at the door, when the Doctor’s hand spontaneously began to feel like it was on fire. He cried out, grabbing it and checking. The blue scar that had disappeared so long ago was back, and pulsating a bright, blinding blue, like it had been activated.

‘Doctor,’ Rose gasped, clinging onto him.

‘Something’s happening,’ the Doctor said quickly, his eyes wide. ‘Move!’

They rapidly reached the door, but just before they stepped through it suddenly slammed closed, and audibly locked.

‘Doctor!’ Rose cried again. He looked at her, and she gasped, staring at him. ‘Your eyes are blue, like when you had a vision …’

Suddenly there was another flash of hot, white light. The Doctor’s head seemed to explode with pain like never before. He slammed his eyes shut and turned, and immediately realised that they weren’t alone in the room anymore. Standing in front of them were five strange beings - creatures that were unlike anything he’d seen before. They were so beyond his realm of reference that he couldn’t even assign adjectives to them. 

‘Doctor!’ Rose cried. He deftly stepped in front of her to protect her.

One of the beings stepped forward. Words seemed to form in his head. Not telepathy, but something else entirely. Something higher - something he couldn’t even explain.

DO NOT BE AFRAID.

It felt like somehow the being he was looking at had just poured a bucket full of liquid words straight through his head. 

PLEASE. WE MEAN YOU NO HARM.

He tried to open his eyes, but the searing headache just bounced back.

IT WILL NOT HURT IF YOU KEEP YOUR EYES CLOSED.

He decided he didn’t have much choice in the matter, so took their recommendation and kept his eyes shut. ‘I …’

One reached out to him, and suddenly he felt like his entire body was abruptly turning to ice. He cried out with surprise, and he heard Rose scream. He saw a rush of strange blue light seemingly washing out of his body and straight into the being’s hand. 

Then, just as quickly, it was over. 

‘What …’ he tried, but he didn’t get anywhere. His eyes rolled back in his skull, and he collapsed.

* * *

‘No, Doctor!’ Rose gasped, dropping down next to him and shaking his uninjured shoulder desperately. 

HE WILL BE FINE. PLEASE DO NOT PANIC.

Rose looked at the weird beings fearfully. ‘What have you done!?’

The being who had done that to the Doctor held up the now overly-familiar single blue sphere, formed from the energy it had just extracted. 

WE HAD TO EXTRACT THE POWER CELL FRAGMENT FROM HIM.

‘Who the hell are you!?’

WE ARE THE DISCIPLES OF THE LIGHT.

‘The ones from Krop Tor!?’

YES. YOU ARE CONFUSED. WE DEEPLY APOLOGISE FOR EVERYTHING YOU HAVE HAD TO GO THROUGH ON YOUR WAY TO US.

‘Wait … you did this to him?’

YES. WE HAD TO BRING THE DOCTOR HERE. THE ONLY WAY WE COULD WAS BY PUTTING A FRAGMENTED PIECE OF OUR ENGINE INSIDE HIM, TO GUIDE HIS FATE TO PLACE HIM ON THIS SHIP.

‘This is  _ your  _ ship?’

YES. WE BUILT IT AS A WEAPON, BUT WE REALISED AS YOUR UNIVERSE WAS BORN, THE SHIP WAS SO POWERFUL WE COULD NOT RISK IT FALLING INTO EVIL HANDS. WE DECIDED TO PLACE THE SHIP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BIG BANG THAT CREATED YOUR UNIVERSE. THE EXPLOSION SHATTERED THE POWER CELL INTO TEN PIECES, THROWING THEM ACROSS THE TIME AND SPACE OF YOUR UNIVERSE. WE ONLY MANAGED TO RETAIN ONE PIECE. THE PIECE WE PUT INSIDE THE DOCTOR.

‘Why?’ she asked anxiously. 

WE KNEW ONE DAY A HUMAN WOULD ATTEMPT TO FIND AND REASSEMBLE THE ENGINE. WE TOOK ACTIONS TO STOP HIM. WE CAN SEE TIMELINES, STRETCHING AND WEAVING THROUGHOUT THE BIRTH OF YOUR UNIVERSE TO ITS DEATH. NEARLY EVERY TIMELINE OF CREATURES THAT LIVE WITHIN THE DOCTOR’S LIFESPAN CONVERGE ON HIM. HE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT CREATURE IN THE ENTIRETY OF YOUR UNIVERSE. 

Rose looked down at him, lying there so hurt. She could feel the tears creeping again. ‘Yeah,’ she croaked. ‘He is.’

WE PLACED THE KEY WITHIN HIM A VERY LONG TIME AGO TO ALLOW IT TO GUIDE HIS FATE TO THIS POINT. WE HAD TO PREVENT THE HUMAN FROM SUCCEEDING. ONLY THE DOCTOR COULD DO IT.

‘Wait … did you also get him out the rift?’

YES.

‘... You’re gods ...’

WE COME FROM A PLACE WHERE YOUR PHYSICAL LAWS AND UNDERSTANDING OF LIFE, DEATH, TIME, SPACE, AND MATTER DO NOT APPLY. WE ARE A HIGHLY ADVANCED CIVILISATION, BEYOND YOUR UNDERSTANDING. WE ARE NOT GODS, BUT TO YOU, WE HAVE GODLIKE POWERS. THIS IS SIMPLY HOW OUR PHYSICS WORKS.

Rose swallowed, clutching onto the Doctor a bit harder. She looked at the one who appeared to be the one speaking to her, and all the ones behind it who were seemingly just standing there. ‘Why don’t the others talk?’

THE WAY YOU COMMUNICATE IN YOUR UNIVERSE - THROUGH WORDS AND PHYSICAL ACTIONS - IS NOT A CONCEPT TO US. ONLY I AM TRAINED TO SPEAK WITH YOU, IN A MANNER SIMILAR TO WHAT YOU CALL ‘TELEPATHY’. THE FORMS YOU SEE ARE ALSO NOT WHAT WE LOOK LIKE. WE HAVE APPROPRIATED SOMETHING CLOSE TO A PHYSICAL FORM TO REASSURE YOU. YOU WOULD NOT UNDERSTAND OUR TRUE PRESENCE OF FORM, AND WE DO NOT WANT YOU TO FEEL IN ANYWAY THREATENED, ROSE.

Rose gaped. ‘You know my name?’

YES. IN LOOKING AT THE DOCTOR’S TIMELINE, YOURS RUNS ALONGSIDE IT TO A GREAT EXTENT. THE DOCTOR IS THE MOST IMPORTANT CREATURE IN YOUR ENTIRE UNIVERSE, AND YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT CREATURE TO HIM.

She just stared, gobsmacked.

NOW, THE DOCTOR HAS COMPLETED HIS MISSION. ALL THAT IS LEFT IS TO THANK YOU, AND OFFER SOMETHING IN RETURN. YOU KNOW OUR POWERS ARE NEAR LIMITLESS TO YOUR UNIVERSE, ROSE TYLER. WE CAN DO NEARLY ANYTHING FOR YOU. WE WILL GRANT YOU WHAT YOU DESIRE. WHAT IS IT YOU WOULD LIKE?

Rose felt like she’d been slapped in the face. These highly-advanced people were offering her a wish. A limitless wish. 

She could wish for anything. 

She didn't even know where to start. In the past three hours she’d seen her husband physically and violently abused, her son shot, the Doctor’s brother pretty much murdered, and her own little brother slain by her hand. And never mind the last three hours. In all the time she’d known the Doctor, so many people had died - friends, family, and even children. Her entire time with him, she realised, had been filled with so much pain and loss. He’d suffered, she’d suffered, and the people around them had suffered.

In her destroyed mind, she blamed herself for it. Not only was she torn inside for her own actions, but she’d heard the Doctor’s thoughts when he’d been hugging her. She hadn’t told him she’d heard him, but she knew. He blamed himself for her actions. Her killing Toby had ripped him apart inside. She’d destroyed his belief in her, and his belief in himself. She’d killed Tony. She’d ruined not only her own psyche, but the Doctor’s too. 

Their relationship was never going to be the same again. Who knew how it would pan out? Maybe this was it. Maybe this was the start of the end. Maybe they’d end up splitting. It would break her heart, and both of his, she knew. But how could they go on from this point?

How could they just carry on after all this?

Everything was a complete mess. She was a murderer, and he knew it. No matter what he said, she'd heard his thoughts. Thoughts of doubt about her, and blaming himself for it. Yet another struggle he’d have to go through because of her. Yet more pain.

Now, she was fairly convinced that this was it. They wouldn’t get through this. Everything she had loved and lived for so long was about to end. This was the price for having experienced this dream life with the Doctor. She’d thought she’d be with him forever, and now she was rapidly convincing herself that it was already over.

She wanted to save him from that. He didn’t deserve it. She also couldn’t go through any kind of break up with him. He meant too much to her. It would finish her off to have to watch him go.

A blinder of a thought hit her between the eyes.

She could ask the Disciples to change history. She could change it so when she, the Doctor’s metacrisis, and the Doctor had been standing on Bad Wolf Bay, they’d not gone with him. She could change it so she and the metacrisis stayed on the parallel world. Therefore, she and the Doctor would have never got together. They’d never have had Leah, or Alex, or Theo. She’d have lived on the parallel world with the metacrisis. Tony wouldn’t have gone bad. Her mum wouldn’t have to try and understand why her daughter had committed the murder of her son. The Doctor wouldn’t have been completely ruined. He could have gone on, with new faces, new companions, and new adventures. Without her. He’d be free. Free of his guilt.

It made so much sense.

She looked at the Doctor, still unconscious. 

‘I love you, but I can’t,’ she realised. She had to give up everything she had known for so long. To save him. Go back to the beach, and say good bye there. By staying with him, she'd ruined his life. Now, she could set him free.

Something in the back of her head screamed how unreasonable this was, but caught in a storm of anger, guilt, defeat, and depression, the little voice was completely ignored. It made sense, didn’t it? It made perfect sense. Stop all of this from even happening.

She kissed him, one last time. She then looked up at the Disciples. She couldn’t believe what she was about to do. But she had to save the Doctor. She had to fix this mess.

She took a deep breath, and began. ‘I want …’

_ Don’t you dare. _

She stopped at the sound of the Doctor’s angry voice in her head. She looked down at him. His eyes were suddenly open, and staring at her with unbridled rage. But it wasn’t Trevor. It was him. He was  _ furious  _ with her.

‘Doctor?’ she asked, stunned. 

_ Don’t you change one single word of that day, Rose Tyler.  _

She shook her head. ‘I’ve gotta save you. Don’t you see? If you left me and the metacrisis on the beach that day, then …’

_ Then everything I love and cherish will be nothing but a story. _

‘But …’

_ You will NOT do it. _

She hesitated. ‘Doctor … I heard you earlier. You think you did this to me. I can’t let you think like that. I gotta save you from … from me.’

_ That’s something we have to deal with. Together. But I’m not prepared to lose all of this. _

‘But our lives have been ruined,’ she croaked. ‘This is it. This is the end of the Doctor and Rose.’

_ I’ve loved you for so long, Rose. Don’t you dare take away the chance I had to show you that. Don’t take away the best thing that’s happened to me for hundreds of years. I don’t want to live an empty life. I don’t want to go forward from leaving you on Bad Wolf Bay, alone. I don’t want the cycle I’d been living to carry on.  _

She couldn’t find any words.

_ This is the destiny I want to live. If you’re going to do this, then you’ll be taking away not only yourself from me, but also my children, my love, and my life. If you really love me, you won’t take it away from me. If you think this is the only option, then I’ll know you don’t care. Don’t start the cycle of death. Don’t make the first decision after Tony to kill more people. Because if you do this, you’ll be killing everything. Killing our kids. Killing me. Killing yourself. _

‘But what the hell are we gonna do?’ she croaked.

_ We go on. We fight. I told you this is where you decide how what you’ve done shapes your life. I still love you. I still need you. Nothing will ever change that. So make a decision. _

She was in tears again. ‘... I’m so sorry.’

_ I know you’re scared. I know this hurts. I know exactly how you feel. But you don’t have to be scared. You’re not alone. You’re just very, very upset and confused right now. You’re in shock. You feel like it’s too much to cope with. Your world’s spinning and you feel like you can’t hold on. You want an easy fix. But this isn’t it. Don’t do something this stupid because of an impulsive decision. _

‘Then what do we do?’ she croaked.

_ Do exactly what your rationality tells you. What’s most important to you right now? What needs to be fixed? _

‘I want to stop feelin’ like this.’

_ You can’t. Think again. _

‘I want … I want you and me to stay together.’

_ Well, that’s already a given. Think again. _

‘I … don’t want you to feel so guilty because of me.’

_ That’s my problem, not yours. Think again. _

‘I don’t want you to be so injured.’

_ I’ll heal. Think again. _

‘I … don’t want Mum to hate me for what I’ve done.’

_ Then that’s your wish. _

She gazed at him. His eyes were shining so brightly. 

She looked up at the beings. ‘I don’t want my Mum to hate me for what I’ve done. I want her to understand. I don’t want her to suffer. I want her to be happy.’

The one who’d been talking to her appeared to nod. 

THEN THAT IS WHAT YOU SHALL HAVE.

The beings suddenly faded away. The door unlocked, and all was silent.


	39. Goodbyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone comes to terms with what has happened. The Doctor has to decide what to do with his insane brother and what they’re going to do next.

_‘... Sally and Jacob’s basement conversion adds another dimension to their semi-detached property. With the fake porthole windows and naval interior design, the space serves as a fantastic accompaniment to ex-naval officer Jacob’s woodworking hobby, with a cosy, “under-the-sea” feel.’_

_‘It definitely inspires me for my art,’_ Jacob told the camera crew. _‘I’m so pleased with how it came out.’_

‘D’you think this guy has mental issues? Like, he’s not quite resurfaced from his submarine?’ Rose wondered quietly from next to the Doctor as they laid in bed together, holding onto each other watching the television.

‘Well if he’s putting in fake porthole windows and steel stanchions then he’s definitely got some syndrome,’ the Doctor replied.

_‘Not only do they have an amazing new space, but their conversion has added £20,000 to their property.’_

‘But it cost them fifty grand,’ Rose pointed out. ‘I mean, the porthole windows were three grand each.’

_‘Are there any plans for further conversion?’_

_‘We’d like to do the loft,’_ Sally said. _‘Now Jacob’s got his own space, I’d like mine, for my painting.’_

‘Kinda sounds like they don’t wanna be near each other,’ Rose pointed out. ‘You can’t get further away than the basement and the loft.’

_‘... But we won’t be doing that until after the baby’s born.’_

‘Where’s that gonna live, the garden shed?’ Rose wondered.

The Doctor snorted with laughter.

_‘If you’re planning a conversion, contact us via the details on-screen.’_

As the credits rolled, they looked at each other. Rose leant forward to kiss him. She pulled back, and checked him over. He was about eighty percent bandaged.

‘Do you need anythin’?’ she asked.

‘Cup of tea?’ he asked hopefully.

She smiled and kissed him again. ‘Okay.’

She hauled herself out of bed, still in pregnancy pyjamas, and waddled out of the door.

The Doctor reclined in bed, wincing a little as he did so. He’d been given orders to stay in bed for a few days as his body attempted to heal the mass of cuts, bruises, burns, a fractured arm, broken ribs, and the stab wound to his shoulder. It was day two. Normally he’d be bouncing off the walls, but he didn’t feel like it. Instead, he’d spent his hours holding his human wife watching lame television, who cried quite a lot of the time as they intermittently shared experiences of the first people they’d killed in explicit detail. It was a difficult thing to pitch correctly. He didn’t want to normalise what she’d done, but he also wanted to keep reminding her that she wasn’t alone. 

When they’d got back from the Moirai, Jack had made sure eleven-year-old Tony thought Toby had killed the Doctor. Tony had then used the manipulator he’d stolen from the past version of Jack, and disappeared. He would never return, they knew. He was gone - off to live his life pursuing the Doctor.

Telling Jackie the truth about her son was one of the most excruciating experiences the Doctor had ever had in his entire life. It wasn’t so much telling her Tony grew into an evil, manipulative mass murderer, or that he’d tried to take over the universe, or that Rose would’ve been next on his hit list, or that most of the suffering the Doctor and Rose had endured over the years was because of Tony. It also wasn’t because the Doctor had conducted the entire conversation in his underwear as he waited for Martha to come and attend to him. It also wasn’t because throughout the conversation Rose was wiping away the blood from his face and arms. It was Jackie's reaction - or rather, her lack of reaction - that unsettled him the most. He’d been expecting rage, grief, confusion amid other potent emotions, but she’d just stared at him. 

She had listened without interruption as he had explained how Tony’s bubble of annoyance from being taken from his father had been ballooned by Tony’s future self. He’d explained that little Tony had been completely manipulated by his future self, in a never-ending self-destructive timeloop. He’d detailed that Tony had been on this path since the day the Doctor had saved them from Pete's World. He’d described how it had been Tony’s destiny. He’d explained that Tony’s natural aggression had been the cause of his own destruction. He’d said how Tony was now fated to live an evil life, believing mistakenly that one day he’d killed the Doctor. He’d told her how there was nothing they could do to change that.

It had been quite a conversation. 

Then of course, Jackie had asked how Tony had died. The Doctor had told her when Rose had dissolved into tears. Thankfully, whatever the Disciples had done worked. Jackie had fallen on the side of accepting it had been Rose’s only option, and that Tony hadn’t been her son for a very long time. She’d explained how what Tony had done over the years had been unforgivable. She’d even said she was glad someone had stopped him.

They’d all then hugged, and cried. The Doctor was beyond relieved that Jackie and Rose’s relationship had survived it - although he wasn’t quite sure Rose’s psyche would. But that was his next challenge. To save her from herself.

He’d then had to tell everyone what had happened. That the Master had beaten him with a metal engine part and was probably now having a mental breakdown somewhere; that the Doctor had had to fight Braxiatel; that the last key had been extracted and it seemed to be the end of it. More tears. More hugs. He’d cried, too. Everyone jokingly blamed it on the baby hormones, despite the fact everyone knew it wasn’t. He’d appreciated that.

Alex was stable and recovering, and Leah had been satisfied. Braxiatel had been confined to a secure room in the TARDIS. The Doctor hadn’t quite decided what to do with him yet. In fact, he hadn’t quite decided what to do about most things. He didn’t know what he was going to do with his insane brother, or what he was going to do with Rose. Rose was the more difficult problem. She was flipping between being her usual self, and bursts of random anger. She didn’t know how to cope with this, and he’d never had to do this before. Yes, he knew what it was like to kill someone, but that didn’t mean he knew how to help someone else through the experience. Not to mention the fact that the sheer guilt he felt for bringing her to this point wouldn’t go away. 

There was too much going on in his psychology for him to function beyond the most basic parameters. Eat, sleep, toilet, repeat. Jack was taking care of the kids, Jackie was bringing meals, and everyone else was looking in to check on him and Rose. For now, things were decidedly uneventful.

He just wished he knew what he was going to do next.

‘Knock knock,’ suddenly came Jack’s voice from beyond the door. 

‘Hey,’ the Doctor said as a cue for him to enter. 

‘Checking if you need anything,’ he said, popping his head around.

‘Nah, I’m fine,’ the Doctor replied as Bargain Hunt came on the television.

Jack peered at the program. ‘This is something I didn’t think I’d ever see. You watching Bargain Hunt in bed.’

The Doctor half-smiled. ‘Anything else?’

‘Alex is doing well. I’ve made the Tardis totally secure in case a Time Agent turns up, and locked down Torchwood too.’

‘Thanks,’ the Doctor said, feeling a little weight burst into being inside each of his hearts. He was going to have to take him back to Anzen when he was better.

‘Hey, he’s better off on Anzen. It’s the only thing you can do,’ Jack pointed out, noticing the Doctor's reaction.

‘I guess.’

Jack promptly took a seat on the bed. ‘What are you going to do about Brax?’

‘I don’t know,’ the Doctor replied honestly.

‘I had a thought. You never did find out who built New Shada, did you? You just knew it was someone who knew a lot about Time Lords, and knew their technology.’

‘And?’

‘You said yourself, that place was the only place capable of holding a Time Lord prisoner for a really long time,’ Jack said. ‘And now, well, you’ve got a prisoner. I think _you_ built it, Doctor. So you could hold Braxiatel. Or rather, you’re _about_ to build it.’

The Doctor thought seriously about that. ‘You’ve got a point.’

‘You can keep him there, secure. Maybe one day he’ll change back.’

‘Maybe,’ the Doctor muttered, unconvinced.

‘You think he won’t?’

‘All I know is I didn’t see a single fleck of my brother left in that man,’ the Doctor replied quietly. ‘That was just before he stabbed me in the most painful and debilitating place possible. I think everything Brax was is gone.’

Jack nodded. ‘But you don’t know that for sure.’

‘No.’

‘So he could change back,’ Jack said positively. 

‘Well, I suppose.’

Jack nodded, smiling. ‘In the meantime, have your son and look after Rose. Don’t worry about anything else. We’re all here to help. Me, Martha, Mickey, Ianto, Jackie, Gwen, Rhys, Seth … everyone. We’re here for you and your family, and we need you to know that.’

‘Thank you.’

Jack nodded, and got up. ‘Let me come with you when you sort out Braxiatel,’ he said. ‘I don’t think it’s something you should do on your own.’

‘Okay.’

* * *

When Alex recovered enough to sit up and talk three days later, he was overjoyed to see his parents and his big sister. After they had a mini reunion, he proceeded to tell them all about his life on Anzen. Having to put his son on a distant planet to protect him weighed heavily on the fully-grown Time Lord’s conscience, but Alex soon got rid of that. The rate at which the boy talked and the enthusiasm with which he did it was beyond anything they remembered of him before he went there. The boy who had been so mute and withdrawn was now two inches taller, three shades more colourful, and about a clear mile happier. The persistent feeling of sadness was very hard to maintain in the face of such a happy little boy.

‘I get to play all day, ‘cept when it’s school but I like school so that’s okay,’ Alex told them happily. ‘And there’s a girl called Maddie, and she’s my best friend.’

‘So you like Anzen?’ Rose asked.

‘Yeah,’ Alex said. ‘Everyone’s really nice.’

‘Is there anything I can do to make it even better?’ the Doctor asked quickly.

Alex thought about it. ‘Nah,’ he concluded.

‘So you’re happy?’

‘Yeah! I want you to come more, though.’

The Doctor nodded. ‘We will. Promise.’

‘Okay,’ Alex replied happily. ‘When am I going back?’

‘When you’re better,’ Rose said.

‘How long’s that?’

‘However long your Auntie Martha says it is,’ Rose replied, running a hand through the boy’s thick brown hair.

‘Maybe about a week,’ Martha announced obligingly from across the room. ‘You’re a very lucky little boy, you know. This could have been a lot worse.’

Alex nodded, and his face dropped a little. ‘I was outside with Maddie when Uncle Brax ran at me with the gun. I knew things were bad so I told Maddie to hide and I ran the fastest I could but I couldn’t get away, Daddy. Then I heard a bang and then I woke up here.’

‘Yeah, Braxiatel shot you,’ the Doctor muttered. At least Alex didn’t remember being in pain. He didn’t seem to be traumatised at any rate. 

‘Why did Uncle Brax shoot me?’

Both parents hesitated, but Leah didn’t. ‘Cos Uncle Brax turned out to be a right old arse,’ the five-year-old informed him.

Everyone in hearing range laughed, except for Rose.

* * *

When Leah announced that she was hungry, the Doctor took her to the kitchen to begin a food hunt. He went to the cupboard, and she jumped up to sit in a chair. 

‘So is everything back to normal now?’ the five-year-old asked.

‘Pretty much,’ the Doctor replied. ‘Well, as normal as it’s going to get. You okay with beans on toast?’

‘Yeah,’ Leah replied happily, and he got to work with his one hand, trying to cater. He faintly recalled a time when he relied on food dispensing machines. He’d really become tragically domesticated. 

He set everything in motion and sat opposite her at the table as they waited. ‘I wanted to talk to you. I know things have been a bit … well, un-normal, like you said. I wanted to check you’re okay.’

‘I’m okay,’ Leah informed him.

‘I’ll answer any questions you have.’

She paused, thinking. ‘Was it Uncle Brax that hurt you?’

‘Partly,’ he replied. ‘Also partly the Master, and partly future Tony.’

‘So Tony’s evil, now?’

‘Yes.’

‘Why?’

‘His future self manipulated his younger self. He created his own hatred for me.’

‘But he’s dead now?’

‘Yeah, he is.’

‘How did he die?’

The Doctor paused. He had to tell her, he decided. ‘Mum killed him and saved my life.’

‘Mummy killed him?’ Leah repeated.

‘Yeah,’ the Doctor replied. ‘She’s very upset at the moment, so don’t talk to her about it.’

‘But if he was evil and it saved you, why’s she upset?’

‘Because she’s taken a life, and no matter how justified it is and no matter how much it makes sense, it’s a lot to take in. She’s hurting. Also the fact it was her brother doesn’t help. Killing someone, whoever it is, is a really traumatic experience. Death isn’t nice, not for anyone. It just got to the point where there was absolutely nothing else to do.’

‘Is Granny okay?’ Leah wondered.

‘Yeah, she understands it had to be done,’ the Doctor confirmed. ‘She’s suffering too, but she’s strong. So’s your mum. But it might take a while for your mum to get through this. I’m going to do everything I can, but I’ll need your help.’

‘What do I do?’ Leah asked.

‘Just … be there for her. Don’t talk about it, just be really, really nice. Make things easy for her. If she asks you to do something, just do it.’

He was feeling the tears building again. Leah promptly jumped off of her chair and moved to hug him without a word. He just held her, running his hand through her hair.

‘So is the Moirai thing totally over now?’ Leah asked as they held each other.

‘Yes. No more keys, visions, or riddles. It’s all over.’

‘Aww,’ Leah moaned. ‘It was fun. So when are we getting Theo?’

‘He’s due in the next week or so,’ the Doctor replied.

‘Then cheer up,’ Leah ordered him. ‘You can’t let Theo be born in all this sadness. Theo needs a happy world. So be happy.’

The Doctor smiled a little. ‘Yeah.’

‘I’m serious,’ she said, drawing back to put her hands on her hips, Tyler-style. ‘Be happy, mmkay? What’s he gonna think when he gets here and you two are all sad? I can’t smile enough for all three of us!’

He laughed through the slight wetness of his eyes. ‘Okay, okay. I’ll be happier.’

‘Good!’ Leah said, and hugged him again. ‘Where’s my food?’

* * *

An hour later and twenty years in the past, the Doctor and Jack were standing in the very centre of the newly-built New Shada, constructed by robot drones according to the Doctor’s exact specifications. They were looking at Braxiatel through a one-way mirror, who was inside the most secure cell in the entire facility. He was currently unconscious, but it wouldn’t be long until he woke up and realised what the Doctor had done to him.

‘He’s not getting out?’ Jack asked to confirm.

‘All of this can only be opened by both of us at the same time,’ the Doctor replied. ‘It’s got five force-fields, seven triple-deadlock seals, and vocal and retina scan checks. The transmat to get here is double-coded. You know one, and I know one. We need each other to open this. He’s never getting out, unless we both decide he can.’

Jack nodded. 

They sank into silence, for a moment just watching Braxiatel. The Doctor noticed Jack staring at him. ‘What?’

‘You can talk to me, if you want,’ Jack offered.

‘I’m all right.’

‘You’re currently locking up your insane brother, who might never get better, and you’re standing there looking like Jackie's trying to tell you what's happened in EastEnders,’ Jack pointed out. ‘I’ve barely heard you say more than three words in a sentence since we got back from the Moirai. Talk to me.’

‘I told you, I’m all right.’

Jack obviously realised he wasn’t going to get anywhere, and shut up, just as Braxiatel roused. It only took a few seconds for him to register his surroundings, and know what his brother had done to him.

‘Theta!’ he roared, angry. ‘Let me out!’

Jack rested his hand on the Doctor’s shoulder. ‘Don’t stay too long,’ he advised. The Doctor nodded, and Jack promptly left through the transmat.

Braxiatel stood up, absolutely infuriated and staring straight through the two-way mirror. ‘I know you’re there Theta. I can smell the human from here.’

The Doctor just watched him, willing for there to be any sign of his brother inside this man.

‘So it’s come to this. You’ve locked up your own brother,’ Braxiatel spat. ‘Just got no hope in me, have you?’

The Doctor remained silent, just observing him. Finally, Braxiatel noticed the Doctor had left the trunkike in the room. He picked it up, gazing at it for a moment, before he suddenly screamed, and threw the trunkike at the wall. It burst apart, and hit the floor in a shower of wood. But the Doctor noticed something, and evidently so did Braxiatel. He dropped to his haunches, and scooped up a little holodisc that had been hidden inside. He looked directly at the Doctor, and smirked.

‘Oh wow. Shall I play it?’

The Doctor’s eyes widened as Braxiatel set it on the floor, and it activated. Immediately a holographic version of Brax burst into being. He looked terrible.

 _‘Theta, please, please help me,’_ he croaked desperately. _‘Toby is Tony, and he wants the key in you. He’s trying to make me betray you. He’s taking my mind, Thete. I’m slipping away. I can feel everything I am, going. You’ve got to stop this. Save me. Get me away from him. I don’t want to hurt you. Don’t let me hurt you, or Rose, or the tots, or your friends - anyone. Save me, please. Save me. Stop Toby. I don’t want to die.’_

The hologram cut out. The Doctor just stared, utterly horrified.

‘Oh dear,’ Braxiatel said, and laughed. ‘Shame you didn’t see this earlier, isn’t it?’

He laughed uproariously; a very cynical, maniacal kind of laughter as he stamped on the holodisc, breaking it apart.

The Doctor numbly reached for the transmat, and left.

* * *

A week after that, Martha checked on the Doctor and Alex’s progress. The Doctor was healing - even his telepathic damage was clearing up. Soon, the only wounds would be the ones in his head. Alex was ready to go back to Anzen with only a scar to show for his experience.

The Doctor made a flying visit to Verga - the planet devoted to the storage of personal possessions that had kicked all of this off. The Disciples had left him two keys - one for his future self to give his past self, and one for the safety deposit collection. He took out a deposit box, and left expressed instructions to find him on Earth if the security of the object inside was to ever be breached. He put the other key inside a sealed box, deep inside the TARDIS. Then, they went to Anzen.

Everyone stayed inside the TARDIS, so as to not be affected by the memory filters. This time, they were going to remember him. The Doctor, Rose, Jack, Martha, and Leah all said good bye to Alex before he stepped out onto the planet. He waved, and then walked away. Despite knowing that it was the only solution and Alex was far happier, it still hurt the Doctor to have to watch his son leave. But he’d rather he knew about Alex than forget him completely.

He piloted the TARDIS one-handed back to Torchwood Tate to drop off Martha, and then to Torchwood Three. He parked the TARDIS. Jack and Leah left, so only the Doctor and Rose remained.

The silence was palpable. 

‘You hate me, don’t you?’ Rose suddenly asked in the silence. ‘I can’t hear your thoughts anymore but I can feel it.’

‘I hate myself,’ the Doctor corrected. ‘Not you. Never you. This wasn’t your fault. I’m angry that I let this situation get so bad. You should have never been put in that position. I should have made you more safe.’

‘This wasn’t your fault though,’ Rose told him firmly. ‘I chose to kill him.’

He laughed, without any hint of humour. ‘You didn’t have any kind of choice.’

‘Nothing … feels right anymore. We don’t feel right. The world doesn’t feel right.’

 _‘We_ always feel right,’ he told her. ‘Don’t doubt us. It’s everything else that’s wrong.’

Another long pause.

‘So what happens now?’ Rose wondered quietly.

‘Now, we wait to have our baby,’ the Doctor said.

‘Then?’

‘Then …well, I don’t know. But I’ll think of something. After Theo’s here, we’ll sort it out. But right now, Leah was right. We need to keep smiling.’

‘I don’t think I can smile.’

He took her into a one-armed hug. ‘I said it’s going to be hard, and that still stands. But it’s not impossible. You won’t feel like this forever. I promise. You can smile, even if it’s fake. One day it’ll be real again. I’ll make it real. You did that for me, so I’ll do it for you.’

‘Okay,’ she muttered, pressing her face to his chest where his dual hearts were beating. ‘Things are never gonna be the same again, are they?’ she realised. ‘We were so happy-go-lucky. It’s not gonna be like that anymore.’

He rested a hand on her belly. ‘Things will be better. Just wait and see.’

‘Promise?’

‘I promise.’

‘We’ll get through this,’ the Doctor told her, cupping her face in both hands. ‘This is our hardest challenge, but we’ll make it. I'm not giving up, so you’re not going to give up. Okay?’

‘Okay.’

‘Say it again.’

‘Okay.’

‘So what aren’t you going to do?’

‘Give up.’

‘Good.’

‘I l-love you,’ she said, her voice breaking.

‘The feeling’s mutual,’ he replied, smiling half-heartedly. ‘You’ve got me, and I’ve got you. That’s the way it’s always going to be.’

She nodded briefly, and then straightened up, steeling herself. ‘Okay. I know you. You’ll think of somethin’. We’re gonna get through this. Just …’

‘Yeah?’

‘Just don’t … let it win.’

‘Since when, Rose Tyler, have I ever let the bad guy win?’

She laughed. It was the first laugh he’d heard from her from what felt like a very long time. Something warm erupted inside his hearts at the sound.

‘We keep fighting,’ he said. ‘Keep winning. We go on. Together.’

She nodded again. ‘Together,’ she affirmed.

They linked hands, and walked out of the TARDIS.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So something like 130k words later, we're finally done with this story. But - and yes, I know - there's more. New story arc in this 'verse commence-eth in 'Memento'. Thank you for all the kind attention, it really means a lot that anyone can be bothered, you shiny stars.
> 
> Next time, in 'Memento':
> 
>  _'So what, I was on Earth, I was injured, my human wife was about to birth my son, and she had PTSD. Now, I'm a prisoner with you, hanging upside down in a grotty cell, complete with amnesia. You know what? I'm struggling to make a connection,' the Doctor said, irritated.  
>  Jack sighed. 'I said I'd get there.'  
> 'Can't you speed up a bit?'  
> 'No,' Jack replied. 'Because that was where this all started – the moment you thought of trying to be a Dream Guardian.'  
> 'I'm assuming that it was a bad idea?'  
> Jack laughed. 'Bad? We didn't know at the time, but it was the worst idea you've ever had in your life.'_  
> -  
> The Doctor wakes up with a damaged memory, as a prisoner of an unknown entity. With him is someone who claims to be his friend. Time is apparently running out, and all the Doctor has to reconstruct his life are stories told by a man he can't remember, and is not sure he can even trust.


End file.
